Acceptable
by whoknows3
Summary: "If I do, will you promise never to set foot in there again for the rest of the time you are home?" Rhett narrowed his eyes at her, "Those terms are acceptable." . . . A sometimes dark and very M rated exploration of the Butler marriage after Rhett leaves Atlanta.
1. Rhett, Monday, December 1, 1873

_Disclaimer: Not mine. The fact that I can even imagine this world at all, and feel so deeply enamored with it, is due to the marvelous Margaret Mitchell._

_Author's Note: This is sometimes dark, particularly in this chapter and contains a lot of M rated material including Rhett sleeping with prostitutes. _

* * *

"Do you want the children?"

Rhett flitted his eyes towards the attorney he was consulting and then stared out the window. It was Monday, December 1, 1873 and tomorrow it would be twelve weeks since he'd left the Peachtree mansion the evening after Melanie's funeral.

Rhett hadn't returned for the newfangled Thanksgiving holiday. He knew it wouldn't matter as no one really considered it a holiday. But now, now it was December and Christmas was fast approaching. Rhett knew he'd have to return to the Atlanta house for the Christmas holidays. As he sat in a large wing backed chair consulting a lawyer in Savannah about divorce, Rhett also knew returning was not a good idea.

As soon as he'd left the Peachtree mansion Rhett had wired his attorney in Charleston, Edgar Horton, about the possibility of divorcing Scarlett. Reconstructionists in South Carolina had enacted a divorce law in 1872 on the grounds of adultery and desertion. Horton had told Rhett in no uncertain terms that Scarlett would have grounds but Rhett would not and divorce was so loathed that Rhett would be unable to grease palms to get one. Besides even if he did Rhett could not divorce Scarlett in South Carolina unless he was willing to allow his mother and sister to be ostracized. Rhett knew he couldn't do that to his mother, his being divorced alone would be enough of a trial for her Rhett couldn't make it so that she wasn't received either.

Rhett had argued with himself for weeks about seeing a lawyer in Georgia. It increased the odds that word would travel to Atlanta, to Scarlett herself, and to the angry old dragons whose dagger tipped tongues loved to lash her. It had been a terrible moment when he'd realized he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to be free of his wife. For a time when he'd first sobered his blood quickened with rage whenever he thought about her. With no sodden stupor to dampen it, Rhett realized he was furious with Scarlett. He was furious she was too stupid and blind to realize he'd loved her forever and that Ashely had never loved her for a moment. She was too stupid to realize Ashley had been a childhood fantasy and she'd ruined both of their lives chasing that fantasy. He was enraged that she had blamed him for Bonnie's death. Even if it had been his fault, only a callous coldhearted bitch who had never had an ounce of warm feelings toward him would ever say such a thing. But as the weeks passed some of Rhett's rage had cooled.

Now he swung wildly between the extremes of hating her and wanting her. Rhett had moments he still wanted to rip his wife's head from her body for denying him all these years and for making a fool of him by chasing Ashley Wilkes in front of all of Atlanta. But he also had moments where he longed to take his wife over and over and over and have her be a willing and eager participant. Part of him longed to hear her tell him she loved him as he thrust into her body. Scarlett was a poison in Rhett's blood and Rhett knew it, so he decided to consult an attorney about obtaining a divorce in Georgia.

Rhett had intended to go to Charleston when he left Atlanta but the way Wade and Ella had clung to him, as if they'd known he was really leaving their mother, had made him too restless and angry to stay in Charleston and be with the old society he claimed he wanted. Instead, Rhett traveled to New York where he stayed for a few weeks before realizing he needed the peace of strangers and too many people knew him in New York. He packed his clothing back into the two trunks he was travelling with, boarded a westbound train and ended up in Chicago.

Rhett liked Chicago. It was newer than Charleston and Boston and New York, but not so new as Atlanta. Places that had just been or were still being rebuilt after the fire felt raw and edgy and suited Rhett's temperament. Even better between the fire and the recent banking crash there were plenty of opportunities to make money there. Rhett quickly got involved with the building of new refrigerated railroad cars and several building projects. A large portion of his wealth was in safe deposit boxes in London and Paris. His liquid money in Atlanta was safe, he owned a 70% share of the bank and after flurried telegrams back and forth it had become clear the bank would survive. Rhett had lost money at his New York and Charleston banks. But it hadn't been enough to really concern him. He'd closed his New York accounts and bought up over half of the shares of his Charleston bank cheap. Now his money in Charleston was safe. Rhett made a mental note to do the same in Chicago since he planned to return there after the holidays.

Something else Rhett loved about Chicago was its thriving red-light district. After a first disastrous night there Rhett had found the higher class and more exclusive Carrie Watson's house where he had sampled many girls and had two favorites. Rhett visited one, a dark haired, hazel eyed vixen called Mimi who was even younger than Scarlett, when his longing for Scarlett was too strong. The other was a blond haired, blue eyed, slightly plump woman in her 30s called Goldilocks who Rhett visited when he didn't want to think about Scarlett. Between his two favorites, occasional forays into new girls, the bowling alley, billiards tables, and numerous parlors, Rhett had begun spending most evenings at Carrie Watson's and after only a few days away missed the camaraderie and the girls.

But a lawyer friend in Chicago had told Rhett if he was serious about divorce he'd have to consult a lawyer in Georgia and now here Rhett was. The process was much longer and more complicated than Rhett wanted and there was no way to divorce Scarlett in secret. Now he was here, consulting with the friend of a friend who started their meeting by stating, "why don't we discuss what you'd like to get out of the divorce so I understand what you are aiming for and then we'll discuss the particulars of divorce."

"Captain Butler? Do you want to keep the children?" Mr. Blore asked again when Rhett had been silent for several minutes.

"They aren't mine," Rhett finally answered turning his eyes back to Blore.

"Ah. I see," Blore cleared his throat before continuing, "actually, sir, when you married their mother they became yours and you have the rights to them. If you so desire, you can keep them."

"And their mother?"

"Would be allowed to see them if you so choose, however, if you do not… well, you can certainly keep them away from her."

Rhett nodded. A part of him, a part he was sensible enough to be ashamed existed, wanted to leap from his seat and demand the attorney push through a divorce and give him Wade and Ella. He loved them more than Scarlett did. He knew them better than Scarlett. He deserved them. And she deserved to lose them. It would be a fitting penance for chasing Ashley in front of him and Miss Melanie for all those years.

But he also remembered how she'd fainted when Bonnie died and how Scarlett's crying and broken, defeated demeanor had grated on his nerves in the weeks after Bonnie's death until he'd sent Scarlett to Marietta because he'd been afraid if he was the one to leave he'd kill himself. He'd intended to send just Scarlett away and to keep the children close to him. He'd wanted to win their love from Scarlett the way he'd won Bonnie's, but when he'd told Scarlett he'd thought she needed time to grieve in peace away from Atlanta, Scarlett had said, "Yes, I think that might be nice for the children… to get away." So Rhett had chosen Marietta, close enough that he could reach the children in less than a day if he needed to, far enough he'd have to think it through before going to her, and not Tara, where Scarlett would have all of the advantages of home if he'd followed them.

"I understand," Rhett drawled smoothly, "If I choose to initiate proceedings, at what point would I need to determine if I would like to keep the children?"

"Immediately. If that's what you choose it must be part of your petition for divorce."

"I understand. And the same for my wife's business interests?"

"Yes. As we discussed, anything that isn't held in a trust became yours upon marriage. Her store and her saloon property are yours. You can choose to give them to her as part of the settlement if you so choose."

"What about her family home?"

"Does she own a share of her family home?"

"Probably, her father died soon after the war. He had only daughters and my wife is the oldest. As far as I know, no will was found and the sisters decided they each owned a third."

"Did they initiate probate proceedings?"

"Not that I'm aware of and my wife tells me everything, so I doubt it."

"I see. I'll have to look into if there is a will and if there are any transfers of deed."

Rhett nodded his understanding, "Can you have that complete by the time of my return? I plan to return at the start of the second week of January."

"Certainty, sir. If there are records I should be able to locate them by then. Now, moving on to the more complicated aspect of divorce, we need to discuss grounds. You must prove adultery or desertion in order to obtain a divorce."

"That shouldn't be a problem. I've done both."

"Unfortunately Captain Butler, only the wronged party may seek a divorce. Has your wife engaged in adultery or deserted you for a period of at least three years?"

"No."

"I see, well, those are the grounds that will provide for a divorce, but there is still the possibility of divorce if she is cruel or habitually intoxicated. In those instances a jury will decide whether to grant a divorce or to allow a divorce from bed and board, which is like a partial divorce. You would not be required to cohabitate or support your wife, and you can keep the children, but you would still be legally married and unable to marry someone else."

Rhett smiled, he could divorce Scarlett and at the same time prevent her from marrying her beloved Ashley. This sounded almost too good to be true. Scarlett would suffer all of the social stigma of Atlanta knowing he left her and then be forced to live the rest of her life alone.

"Is it possible to seek the latter kind intentionally?"

"Unfortunately no, it will be left in the hands of a jury."

"I understand." Alas it was too good to be true Rhett thought. He would have to bribe some jurors.

"How do I establish her continual intoxication?"

"With your testimony, and potentially that of her son, as well as that of the servants in the house." Rhett frowned, the servants were loyal to Scarlett. He might have to hire a new servant or two who could later testify on his behalf about Scarlett's nighttime brandy.

"I don't want Wade to testify," Rhett said with finality.

"Of course, your testimony and that of any servants who have cause to know of your wife's drinking should be more than sufficient."

§

After making another appointment for January 13th, Rhett left the attorney's office and headed out to find some release for his frustrations.

Rhett was too wound up to spend time looking for the perfect whore to relieve his frustrations. Instead he'd gone to the first house of ill repute he'd come upon and asked for someone dark haired and thin. He'd wanted someone who looked like Scarlett, but instead he found himself pounding into a girl who looked much too much like Melanie. She was short, thin, and had brown hair and eyes. If her face hadn't lacked a widow's peak and been so thin and drawn and so unlike Melanie's rounded, loving face Rhett wouldn't have been able to take her.

She reached up and ran her fingers through Rhett's hair. Rhett grabbed her wrist and lowered it to the bed.

"Stand up," he growled pulling out of her and standing himself.

She did. Rhett grabbed her shoulder and spun her to face the bed.

"Bend over," he commanded while pushing her back down.

She bent over the bed and braced herself on her arms as he slammed into her from behind. Rhett grabbed her hips and began to pound into her like a madman. He could feel his usual careful control slipping. He couldn't stop. He wanted to pound the apathy and the rage and the bitter evil demon that wanted to hurt Scarlett out of his chest and into whatever female body he used as a substitute.

Rhett didn't feel sated after the tiny brunette so he called for a blond to come and suck him off. He seated himself on the end of the bed so she'd have to kneel in front of him and he could look down at her bobbing head. He made her remove all of her hairpins and all of her clothing and while he watched he felt himself throb and ache for her tongue. Rhett reached down and pinched both of her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers and twisted them, not to please the woman on her knees, to please himself and to stop himself from grabbing the back of her head and holding her while he thrust himself down her throat. She'd reached up to play with his balls and he felt them finally start to tighten. When he could resist no longer he grabbed the back of her head and trust deep into her mouth emptying himself into her throat. He could feel her sputtering and her throat grasping at him but he held her head on him. He wouldn't let go until she swallowed it all and they both knew it.

When Rhett had left the whore house he'd gone directly to the station, collected the trunks he'd left earlier, and boarded the next train for Charleston. He decided he'd spend a little over a week visiting with his mother before heading to Atlanta to suffer through the holidays.

At the station in Charleston Rhett wired Scarlett to expect him on Wednesday the 17th and to have his room ready. There was no sense surprising her and he knew he'd have to be seen around town with her before the holiday to quell the gossip he was sure was all over town. Rhett didn't stop to ask himself why he was keeping this promise. He knew that it wasn't the children.

§§§

Rhett's mother was not happy to see him. Rhett had been shocked by this. When he'd come with Bonnie in 1871 she'd been thrilled and his stories of Scarlett staying in Atlanta for her mills hadn't been questioned outright. He'd known his mother thought he was lying but realized now she must have thought they were fighting and he'd needed to get away. While that was close to the truth…he couldn't explain the whole truth to his mother.

"Is Scarlett with you?" was the first question out of Eleanor Butler's mouth as she rose from her favorite parlor chair in front of the bay window to greet her son.

"Mother?" Rhett asked startled by the question and relieved that no one else was present.

"Supper will be served in ten minutes, Madam," stated Rosa, Rhett's mother's favorite maid, after following Rhett into the room. "Shall I set a second place?"

"Yes," Mrs. Butler said while eyeing her son.

When Rosa had stepped out of the room Eleanor continued, "you heard me."

When Rhett stated he was there alone, Eleanor released Rhett's arm and reseated herself with a huff, "I can't believe it's true. You've actually abandoned your wife."

"Mother," Rhett started as he seated himself on the chair opposite her.

His mother cut him off, "Rhett Butler, I am your mother and for your entire life I've defended you. I've maintained you are a good man, a man who is misunderstood, not a bad one. I've believed it too. Even when you refused to marry Elisa, even when you dueled her brother…I've always, always defended you. But this is too much. You cannot be the man I knew, or the boy I raised if you have left your wife on the day of her best friend's funeral. Rhett, how could you?"

"Mother," Rhett sighed, he'd not expected this at all. His mother had always defended him both to his father and to all of Charleston. Rhett had expected to be welcomed home with open arms. He also knew that as childish as it was for a man of 45, he'd expected his mother to console him.

"Mother," Rhett tried again, "you don't understand, you don't know all that happened."

"There is nothing that could have happened that justified your leaving that poor, broken woman, your wife, Rhett, your wife, the woman you chased and married and promised to protect, on the day she buried Mrs. Wilkes."

"She wasn't broken mother," Rhett started to defend himself.

"No?" his mother asked sharply.

"No, she's strong. She was coping with things. She was able to plan the funeral, even…" Rhett trailed off, telling his mother that he'd notified Scarlett he was leaving her just days before he left when she'd come home to tell him Melly had died was going to make this worse.

"Even, what?" Eleanor asked sharply.

"Even nothing."

Eleanor stared at her son with narrowed eyes. Finally she said, "Even when you did something more cruel? Or even when Bonnie died?"

Rhett clenched his jaw but didn't answer, he was afraid he'd lash out as his mother the way he'd often lashed out at Scarlett.

"Women break in different ways from men, Rhett. When I was there for Bonnie's funeral I saw a broken woman and a broken man. I'd hoped that whatever else was between you that you and Scarlett would have helped each other heal."

When Rhett continued to say nothing his mother continued, "So, what did she do, Rhett? What was so awful you walked out on the day she buried her best friend, and possibly her only friend from what I saw?"

"She loved another man for years, for the entire time we were married," Rhett said hotly.

"I know. More, you did too. You knew that when you married her. Did you think anything would change that?"

Rhett clenched his fists into his pockets and contemplated walking out on his mother. Damn Scarlett's gossiping aunts.

"Ah, you did. You thought if she married you she'd forget him and fall in love with you." Eleanor continued softly as she watched her son struggle against himself.

"So, then my son, after you married her what did you do to make Scarlett fall in love with you?"

"I gave her everything she wanted, mother, everything. I let her decorate that monstrosity of a house, I let her keep her businesses. I…," Rhett had begun yelling as his temper flared.

"Don't you raise your voice to me, young man," Eleanor Butler said with a surprising edge to her voice.

"I'm sorry, Mother." Rhett was sorry. Scarlett had turned him into the kind of man who would raise his voice to his own mother.

"Rhett, things aren't the way to any woman's heart. Surely you are wise enough to know that. Did you treat her with kindness?"

Rhett looked at his mother with the impassive face that had stymied Scarlett for years.

"Have you always treated her with the cruelty you showed when Bonnie died?"

"Mother!" Rhett gasped, "she accused me of killing my own baby!"

"Yes," Eleanor said slowly, "she sounded remarkably like you when I was there. I've never been as disappointed as when I realized that you had not only treated her with cruelty, but you taught her cruelty."

"I didn't teach her that."

"No, when she was a young widow here with her son she wasn't cruel. Even in the depths of grief with a new baby she never treated anyone with cruelty. She was distant and sad, yes, but not cruel. If something like that can't turn a young girl cruel not a lot will, my son."

Rhett stared past his mother to the wall. No, Scarlett had been cruel before, but a part of Rhett acknowledged that he'd encouraged her to speak her mind and to be free with criticism.

"Well," his mother continued seeing Rhett wasn't going to answer for his own behavior, "it doesn't matter if you taught her to be cruel. You have treated her with cruelty. Nothing, nothing will make that acceptable. Do you not recall raging against your own father's cruelty? Do you not recall what it was like to be on the receiving end of that sort of treatment? It tears a person down, Rhett. As you well know. It drove you away. But your wife is a woman, there is nowhere for her to go and keep her dignity no matter how cruelly you've treated her. You've broken that woman and then you abandoned her."

"Mother!"

"You abandoned her, Rhett. You left her to pick up the pieces and face the gossips alone. She didn't trick you, Rhett. Did she tell you she loved you when she loved someone else?"

"No."

"No. Yet you tried to buy her with trinkets instead of kindness. I think if you thought about how you treated her when you fell in love with her and how you treated her once you were married and she didn't fall immediately in love with you, you'd see where you went wrong."

"Mother," Rhett said, trying to control the temper boiling just below the surface, "I'm tired. I've had a long day of traveling. Don't you think we could discuss this tomorrow?"

"No, my son. I love you and I've stood by you through everything you've ever done, but I cannot abide this cruelty. You are not welcome in my home until you make amends to your wife and her children for your cruelty. I shall, of course, continue to receive you if you come to call, but you are not welcome to stay here."

"This is my house."

Eleanor raised her eyebrow at her son. Yes, he'd bought it and continued to pay for all of the household expenses. But he had given it to her. And Eleanor Butler wanted to teach her son something about obligations and cruelty.

"I'll leave in the morning," Rhett said his face bland. As she watched her son react with no reaction at all she knew how he'd driven his wife away. She frowned, this wasn't the time to tell him. That lesson would come later.

"That sounds fine, son. Now, let's go have supper and speak no more about this," Eleanor said as she stood and held out her arm for Rhett to take.

§§§

Several hours later Rhett tossed and turned in his bed in his room in his mother's house trying to formulate a plan. Rhett and Eleanor had gone into a delicious supper where they talked of Rhett's businesses in Chicago, Rhett's nieces and nephews, and the goings on in Eleanor's social circle. Any mention of Scarlett's aunts had been conspicuously absent. Rhett knew this was probably for the best.

After supper Rhett had retired to his office where he'd proceeded to mull over his mother's unexpected stance on this issue while drinking what had probably amounted to the vast majority of a fifth of whiskey.

Perhaps getting drunk after supper hadn't helped, Rhett realized because he couldn't decide where to go tomorrow. He would not stay in a hotel in Charleston. It was too humiliating to have his brother and sister know he wasn't welcome to stay in the house he'd bought his mother. He could go to Atlanta, it might be fun to shock Scarlett and appear before she was ready, but then he'd spend six weeks there. He knew he absolutely must stay until Wade's birthday on January 9th and didn't think he'd last that long in the same house with Scarlett without killing her or taking her over and over until he'd punished her enough for denying him her body. But if she loved him as she claimed, that would punish him too. He couldn't stay anywhere in Atlanta but the Peachtree mansion or people would talk and it would defeat the entire purpose of going to Atlanta. He could go to Savannah or Marietta, but too many people knew him in both of those places and would wonder why he wasn't with his wife. Maybe he should go north. Rhett's head swam and he groaned and turned on his back to stare at the ceiling.

On his first night in Chicago he'd realized how much he was drinking when a porter had delivered a second bottle of whiskey to his room with a raised eyebrow and a glance inside to see if Rhett had company. Earlier that evening Rhett had been thrown out of a whorehouse for the first time in his life. The little blond he'd been with had been called Ashely, initially this hadn't bothered Rhett, but as he'd been thrusting into her with one of her legs slung over his shoulder she'd asked, "Oh, handsome, doesn't Ashley make you feel good?" and Rhett had lost it. He'd leaped off of her and the bed and picked her up and slammed her into the wall. He'd been screaming "I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" as he slammed her into the wall twice before the room had flooded with security men and other girls. He'd paid handsomely for his loss of temper and retreated to his hotel to forget.

Curtailing his imbibing had been harder than Rhett had thought it would be. He often had to remind himself how he'd learned the fine art of drinking while keeping a clear head at the card tables as he set out to discipline himself. It had taken all of his strength and will power and the whole of the nine weeks he'd spent in Chicago, but he'd been able to stop himself before becoming drunk. Until tonight. As his mother's scornful words rattled repeatedly through his memory combined with thoughts of punishing Scarlett by taking her children and businesses away from her, he'd been unable to stop himself. He knew he'd be hung over in the morning. He also knew he'd proven he didn't have as much control over drink as he liked to think he did.

In the morning Rhett kissed his mother on the cheek and boarded a train for Washington. He didn't want to spend the time traveling all the way to Boston or New York for such a short stay. Besides Rhett knew plenty of people in Washington and there were excellent houses of ill repute given how many powerful men were trapped in the city most of the year.

§§§

Rhett had found her. The perfect substitute for Scarlett was in Washington at the house of ill repute down the street from his hotel. Her name was Cherry, which surprised Rhett because her hair wasn't red. It was light brown and curly. But she had Scarlett's green eyes, eyes that darkened to emerald when she was aroused. Her face was too round and her belly was full. Full enough that Rhett had fleetingly wondered if she was with child when he'd first demanded she strip off her dressing gown. But her eyes were almost exactly the same color as Scarlett's and Rhett could stare and them while he thrust into her and pretend.

"Who's Scarlett?" Cherry had asked softly after the third night in a row he'd been with her.

"My wife," Rhett answered.

Cherry sat up from where they were laying side by side after she'd slid off of him. "Did she die?"

"No."

Cherry's eyebrows drew together in confusion, but not sharply like Scarlett's did. Whenever Scarlett was confused she was also irritated.

"Most men don't pretend I'm their wives," she ventured softly and seeing no impending violence from Rhett she continued, "they pretend I'm anybody else."

Rhett also sat up. "I've had enough of that for a lifetime. How much do you want to dye your hair?"

Cherry thought quickly. If she asked for enough she'd be able to dye her hair and save some of the money. If she asked for too much she might lose this repeat customer who for some reason pleasured her when he took her. Noticing how Captain Butler was assessing her as she thought she decided to be forthright.

"The dye costs $7, but if you want me to dye my hair I'd like something on top of that for the inconvenience."

Rhett stood and grabbed his pants. Reaching into the pocket he pulled out his billfold and extracted a $20 bill. Cherry's eyes widened as he dropped it on the bed at her legs.

"Dye it black and straighten it. I'll be back tomorrow at 10. Be waiting and fully dressed." Rhett slid on his drawers and pants. As he buttoned his pants he added, "Have your hair straightened and styled too. Look like a lady when I arrive."

"I will," Cherry sat, naked, and watched as Rhett finished dressing and then stepped out of the room without another word.

§

Cherry stood nervously at the foot of the bed as the clock struck 10 the next night and she waited for Captain Butler to appear. Ironing her hair had taken almost two hours and her scalp ached from all of the pulling and then the further irritation of being styled and held with pins. Among the house they only had three ladylike dresses and Cherry was wearing the largest of them over an uncomfortable corset. A lot of men wanted her to leave a corset on while they took her. Being unable to take a deep breath made servicing a man much harder. Cherry fervently hoped this wouldn't be one of those nights.

Cherry shuddered when Rhett opened the door and stepped in.

"Good," he declared after looking her over.

"I'm glad to please you, Captain Butler," Cherry said coyly.

"Rhett," he corrected. She knew immediately that calling him by his name was part of the fantasy of the night. She briefly wondered if he'd ask her to call out she loved him when he took her later.

Rhett squinted at Cherry and then placed her hand on the buttons of his pants. He was already half hard and she knew what he wanted. Cherry folded the dress under her knees and knelt in front of him. She kissed him through his pants then with swift fingers she unbuttoned his pants and shoved them and his drawers down enough to pull him out. When his penis sprang free, Cherry licked it from base to tip and then swirled her tongue around the tip. She leaned down to gently suck one of his balls into her mouth and then licked up to his tip again.

Rhett didn't make a sound.

Cherry drew him into her mouth and began to suck, bobbing her head to slide him in and out of her mouth. Soon she felt his hips start jerking. She swirled her tongue and then took him as deep as she could without gagging. He grabbed her hair and began to thrust in and out of her mouth. Cherry closed her eyes so he wouldn't see her expression. If men weren't always doing exactly this sucking them off would be the best part of her job. It was by far the least hard on her body, but the vast majority of the time men wanted to be deep enough to choke her.

"Oh, god, Scarlett," Rhett groaned as he emptied himself into Cherry's mouth. Rhett released her hair and allowed her to take her mouth off him, but before she could turn and spit into the spittoon he commanded, "Swallow."

Cherry swallowed his seed and stood.

"Turn around."

She did and felt him undoing the fastenings on her dress. He slowly undressed her, caressing her skin and kissing her in all sorts of odd places like her shoulder blades and elbows. Cherry was profoundly grateful when he'd unlaced her corset and let it drop to the floor. When she was standing in just her chemise Rhett pulled her against his chest by reaching around her and grabbing her breasts. He tweaked her nipples and she could feel he was hard again already. Damn, Cherry thought, she'd been hoping it would take longer for him to get hard.

Rhett bit down on her neck, but not enough to injure her and then spun her around. He lifted Cherry's chemise and tossed it away.

"Undress me," he commanded in a gruff voice.

As Cherry did he tweaked her nipples and teased between her legs so she was wet and panting for him. As he fingered her, Cherry wondered why he was doing this. Then Rhett said, "Say my name, Scarlett," and Cherry understood. His wife didn't want him. His fantasy was a wife who wanted him. Cherry could do that.

"Oh, Rhett!" Cherry cried, leading forward to lick one of his nipples, "I want you. Please."

Rhett smirked and thrust two fingers inside her, "It does seem that you do, Scarlett," he answered shoving Cherry back onto the bed.

Rhett climbed on top of her and thrust himself into her in one long stroke. Cherry gasped. Rhett teased Cherry's nipples as he thrust into her then he rolled them over so Cherry was astride him.

Rhett leaned up to take one of her nipples into his mouth as she began to ride him.

"Oh, Rhett!" Cherry called out. She braced herself on his shoulders and rode him as hard and fast as she could until he sucked hard on her nipple, released it with a slurping sound, and then grabbed her hips. He thrust up into her several times with a force that Cherry thought would make her sore and bruised and then released his seed for the second time that night.

"Tomorrow," Rhett said as he dressed, "be naked and waiting on the bed with your hair down."

Cherry saw Rhett every night for ten nights in row. He took her from behind bent over the bed and against the wall. He made her suck him off and ride him. He teased her with his fingers and tongue. He actually made her orgasm on a few nights. And then Cherry never saw him again.

* * *

_More Author's Note: Please read and review! I have the first 8 chapters done and am well on the way with several chapters after that. My point is, it's not all this dark and it is going somewhere. _


	2. Scarlett, Wednesday, December 17, 1873

_Disclaimer: Anything and anyone you recognize doesn't belong to me. _

* * *

Rhett's telegram didn't say what time he'd be arriving on Wednesday and Scarlett wasn't sure when she wanted him to arrive. Perhaps it would be best if he arrived and got settled while she was at the store. Perhaps it would be better if he came while she and the children were having supper and the children could act as a buffer between them.

But Rhett hadn't said and Scarlett was not going to sit around and wait for him, so she went about her normal day. Wade and Ella still had school until Friday so she dropped them off on her way to the store. As Wade clambered out of the carriage, Scarlett thought about telling him Rhett would be back today, but she decided not to. Despite the telegram, part of her doubted she'd ever see Rhett again. He'd been gone for three months before she heard from him. She thought he had gone to Charleston and his telegram had come from Charleston, but from what her aunts wrote, he wasn't there.

As Pork drove her to the store, Scarlett's mind wandered back over the months Rhett had been gone.

Rhett left the night of Melly's funeral. They returned to the house from the cemetery and had a nearly silent supper as both children and Scarlett had tried to stifle their tears. After supper Rhett rose and stated he had a 9:00 pm train. Wade flung his arms around Rhett crying, "No, can't you wait a few days, don't go now."

"Son, you are old enough to understand there are things a man has to do that he doesn't want to and now I have to leave."

Ella stood against Scarlett, clinging to her skirts and crying. Rhett crouched down and tugged Ella into his arms.

"When will you be home, Uncle Rhett?" She asked in a small voice.

Rhett sighed, "I don't know."

"Will you come for my birthday?" Ella asked, her voice trembling.

"No, I don't think so. I'm sorry, darling. I have to go too far away to come all the way back in October. I am very sorry I will miss it though."

Ella nodded but didn't say anything. Tears continued to roll down her cheeks as Rhett stood and picked up his hat.

Rhett bowed at Scarlett, donned his hat and turned and walked out without even making a show of kissing her goodbye in front of her children.

The morning after the funeral and Rhett's departure Scarlett was at the Wilkes' packing Melanie's clothes into a trunk to be taken and donated to the Widow's and Orphan's Society and Wade, Beau and Ella were playing in the back yard. Ashley had asked Scarlett to come take care of Melly's things because he couldn't bear to look at them. Scarlett had agreed and even though she wanted to stay in bed and weep for the loss of Rhett now that she finally knew how she needed him, she arrived just after breakfast and began packing.

As she worked Scarlett noticed the frustrated way Ashley stared out the window at the children every time one of them burst into peals of laughter or screeched about something.

"Ashley, wouldn't you like Beau to come with the children and I to Tara?"

"Oh, I don't know, Scarlett," was all Ashely said.

A few hours later Dilcey called everyone to the table for dinner. India had arrived an hour earlier to help Scarlett and the two were surprisingly kind to one another. When Scarlett pulled the dress Melly had worn for months at Tara out of the bottom of a drawer she burst into tears, holding the dress to herself whispering, "Why? Oh Melly, why did you keep this?" Drying her eyes, Scarlett put that dress aside to take home with her instead of packing it into one of the trunks. India squeezed Scarlett's arm and gave her a watery smile.

Scarlett and India each kept a few of Melly's things. Scarlett put aside Melly's favorite shawl for Aunt Pitty and kept Melly's hair combs, her few necklaces, and her cameo to save for Beau when he grew up.

Seeing what Scarlett was doing India asked, "Have you found something to keep for Ella?"

"I haven't," Scarlett answered, surprised. "I thought perhaps a dress, but Ella is so young, and someone else can use it now. I want Beau to have Melly's jewelry to give to whoever he chooses to marry, and Wade Ashley wants Wade to have Melly's books, but I don't know what to keep for Ella."

India surveyed the undergarments and petticoats already neatly folded into a trunk and Melly's dresses still hanging in the closet.

"What about her sewing kit and needlework basket?" India finally suggested.

Scarlett gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, "Oh, India. That would be perfect. Ella will love that, thank you." Scarlett rose and retrieved the sewing kit and basket along with Melly's several pairs of knitting needles, crochet hooks, and some balled yarn. Scarlett added them to the pile of things she was going to take home.

India, Scarlett, Ashely and the children sat around the table eating Dilcey's delicious chicken and dumplings when Scarlett saw Ashely wasn't eating.

"Ashely," Scarlett said softly, "you need to eat something. You need to keep your strength up," then she nodded none too subtly at Beau.

Ashley sighed and raised a forkful of chicken to his mouth. When he lowered it without eating it, Scarlett asked, "Ashley, why doesn't Beau join us at Tara for a few weeks? It will be good for him. And it will be good for Wade and Ella too to have their cousin near them. They need each other, Ashely."

Ashely didn't respond. India eyed Scarlett, but Scarlett didn't see the expected hatred in her eyes.

"You and India and Aunt Pitty are welcome too, of course. It might be nice for everyone to get away from the city for a while," Scarlett added cautiously. It would be good for Ashley and Mammy would straighten him out Scarlett thought. Scarlett didn't want India and Aunt Pitty disturbing her peace with their endless questions and judgments but she knew she had to make the offer. She had to ensure everyone saw she wasn't in love with Ashely, that what was between them was the loss of Melly and a shared joyous childhood friendship.

Scarlett only waited two more days before returning with her children and Beau to Tara.

§§§ - Friday, September 11, 1873

Scarlett boarded the train for Jonesboro Friday afternoon with Wade, Ella, Beau, and Prissy. Lou and Pork were staying in Atlanta. As she leaned her head back and stared out the window Scarlett sighed deeply. Scarlett did think the children needed each other but she was also glad Ashley had sent Beau with them because Ashely was going to fall apart and she didn't want Beau to see it.

Scarlett turned her eyes to the three children sitting at her feet playing jacks on the train floor and wondered if she was going to fall apart. She'd surprised herself with her calm in the three days Rhett was home after telling her he didn't love her anymore and was leaving her.

Scarlett closed her eyes and turned her face back to the window when she felt her eyes well with tears. Rhett's declaration had seemed to burst some bubble between them. From the time he said he was leaving Friday until he actually left Tuesday evening, there had been peace between them. Something in Scarlett knew that if she pursued him the way she'd blindly and foolishly pursued Ashley for years she would lose Rhett forever.

As they'd breakfasted with the children Saturday morning before Scarlett left to make Melanie's funeral arrangements, Scarlett watched Rhett's dejected demeanor. He didn't seem like the sodden sullen stranger he'd been after Bonnie died, he seemed like a much older version of himself almost as if he'd become Dr. Meade's age overnight. And for the first time in the over twelve years she'd known him she realized that she did understand Rhett's mind, she'd just never taken the time, or had the inclination to do so before. Scarlett knew that if she declared her love again and chased after Rhett, he would think she didn't love him, that she had the same blind childhood infatuation with a man she couldn't have. But Scarlett also knew she did love him. Scarlett said nothing of her love on Rhett's last days home but made sure all of his clothing was laundered and packed and Rhett was eating.

Scarlett sat with her eyes closed and remembered all of the times she'd known she felt something for Rhett and tried to puzzle out why she'd never realized she loved him until Ella's screech, "No! Beau, you cheated!" shattered the peace of their compartment.

Scarlett opened her eyes and sat up, "children," she said softly, almost as if she was channeling Melly she thought, "jacks isn't a wise game to play on a moving train. Prissy, pack the jacks away. Wade, why don't you read Ella and Beau a story."

Wade turned a frown at his mother and eyed her for a moment before agreeing. Scarlett listened as Wade read for the rest of their journey.

Scarlett felt the first twinge of an oncoming storm in herself when Mammy swept Scarlett into her arms as soon as Will handed Scarlett down from the wagon. She felt a second twinge when Suellen asked where Rhett was at supper and Wade answered, "He had to go north for business and he's going to miss Ella's birthday!" Ella burst into tears and as Scarlett drew Ella into her arms she saw Suellen smirk at Will.

"Shh, shhh, darling," Scarlett soothed, "we are going to be here for your birthday anyway. Won't it be nice to get to spend it with all of your cousins?" Scarlett glared at Suellen.

The crack happened when the children were all in bed and Scarlett was pacing her room. She needed brandy. She needed it. It wasn't until that moment that Scarlett realized she was like any drunk on the street. She needed liquor. She paced back and forth thinking. She was sure there was some of Pa's whiskey here. Suellen and Will couldn't have finished the whole barrel. Could they? If there was still some, was any in the house? Should Scarlett go check the kitchen? She'd noticed there was nothing on the dining room sideboard. It was then that Scarlett realized she'd become dependent on her nightcap. She couldn't go sneaking around her own house. She'd either have to want it enough to ask Suellen and Will if there was any brandy in the house or she would have sleep without it.

Scarlett continued pacing. She ached for brandy and her mind wouldn't let her rest. She thought about the defeat in Rhett's shoulders as he'd walked up the stairs after telling her he didn't love her anymore. She thought about how swollen with drink he'd been after Bonnie…after Bonnie. How could Rhett have loved her all that time and never let her know? How come she couldn't tell he'd loved her? And why didn't she notice when his love slipped away?

Scarlett sighed and sat on her bed. She had noticed when his love slipped way. His love had gone from her to Bonnie. She'd noticed his eyes stop following her and start following Bonnie. She'd been jealous, but she never realized her jealousy might mean she was in love with him.

Scarlett thought about how during the war she'd been jealous and how she kept receiving him after he'd been nasty. Scarlett's eyes watered as she recalled the time she'd thought she was acting almost as if she was in love with Rhett and reminded herself she was in love with Ashley. Scarlett flung herself onto the pillow and began to weep. She'd been in love with Rhett since during the war. She hadn't loved Ashely, at least not for a long, long time if she'd ever really loved him at all. Why hadn't she known the difference between love and want? How did other people know when they were in love?

Scarlett gasped and shook when a pair of warm loving hands came down on her arms.

"What is it chile?" Mammy asked.

"Oh, Mammy!" Scarlett cried sitting up and pulling Mammy down to sit next to her then laying her head on Mammy's shoulder. Mammy brought her arm around Scarlett and hugged her lamb to her chest just as she had when Scarlett was eight and had fallen out of a tree and a million other times in Scarlett's life.

"Rhett left me. He said he doesn't love me anymore! I … I never knew he loved me! And I never knew I loved him! Now it's too late. Now with Bonnie gone … he said whatever was left she took with her. Oh Mammy! I can't live without him." Scarlett sobbed in earnest while Mammy stoked her hair until Scarlett cried herself to sleep.

When Scarlett woke up the next morning her eyes felt gummed together and her head ached.

Several days passed before the craving for brandy and the headaches lessened. Mammy came to Scarlett's room every night the first week and held Scarlett while she cried or unburdened her soul about her marriage to Mammy.

After several nights as the need for brandy lessened Scarlett asked, "Mammy, will you come back to Atlanta with me? I need you. I need you to help me. Please, Mammy."

"Chile, I knows you needs me. And I's a come wit you, but jus promise me when my time come, you bury me here wid Miss Ellen."

"Oh, yes, Mammy! I promise. You are family and belong in the family plot. Thank you!" Scarlett threw her arms around Mammy.

"But Mammy, darling, you are not to work. You are to supervise all the staff. I want you to come not to work, but well, to help me. To help me adjust and to be a better person. More like mother. Do you, do you agree?"

In answer Mammy drew Scarlett into her arms and kissed Scarlett's forehead.

During the day Scarlett played with the children in the lawn and took long walks alone. At the end of her first week at Tara Scarlett even went out riding down one the bridle paths she'd ridden with Ashely all those years ago. But her thoughts weren't on Ashely. They were on Rhett and on Wade. Wade had become very clingy again. He would be twelve in January and was at her skirts when she was around like he had been as a toddler. Scarlett tried to be kind when this annoyed her and it frequently annoyed her. Scarlett also had moments when she wanted all three children close at hand or when she squeezed them so tightly they squirmed because she was overcome with an urge to have them in her arms. She thought Wade must be having those same sorts of moments and resolved to keep trying not to be irritated when he was at her skirts.

But Scarlett also wondered if Wade knew something was wrong. Wade had loved Rhett from the time he'd been a baby. He'd been six months old when Scarlett moved to Atlanta and Rhett started calling during the war and only six years old when she married Rhett. Rhett was the only father Wade had ever known. Scarlett had never known Wade not to prattle on about whatever Rhett did and said, but Wade hadn't mentioned Rhett again after their first night at Tara. Was it possible Wade knew Rhett didn't love her anymore? That he was leaving her in everything but name? No, Scarlett thought, Wade couldn't know that. He was probably just upset Rhett left so soon after Melly died.

Scarlett paused and let the horse drink at one of the Flint River crossings. Then she rode back to Tara wondering if she'd ever see her husband again. He'd promised to come back often enough to keep the gossip down. But he'd left hours after Melly's funeral. Scarlett knew people were gossiping about that. And he'd already said he was going to miss Ella's birthday. People would talk about that too.

Scarlett dejectedly thought her sense of how often he would need to return to actually keep the gossip down was probably very different from whatever Rhett thought about how often he would need to return and how long he would need to stay. Scarlett hoped Rhett would return for Christmas. If he didn't Scarlett knew it wouldn't matter when he came after that, all of Atlanta would know their marriage was over. And Scarlett would know it too. As long as he came back she had hope. He wouldn't have promised if he didn't love her, just like she wouldn't have promised Ashely to look after Melly when she was carrying Beau all those years ago. Scarlett knew that promise had come from love.

The last week in September Ashely and India arrived with Dilcey. Scarlett surprised herself when she hugged them both tightly.

"Where's Aunt Pitty?" Scarlett asked smiling a genuine and joyous smile for the first time in what felt like ages.

"She thought the trip might be too hard," Ashely answered.

"Who is with her then?" Scarlett asked glancing to India.

"Uncle Peter," India smiled and the three started to laugh.

§§§

The first time Wade woke in the morning with wet stickiness around his groin he'd tried to hide it by stuffing his nightclothes in the laundry and sleeping the next night with the soiled sheets. But when it happened again two nights later he knew he needed to ask Mammy to wash his sheets and nightclothes. They still had a week left of their stay at Tara and Wade did not want to sleep in his sheets again.

Wade left his nightclothes balled in the bed and searched for Mammy.

"Did you haves a bad dream, honey chile?" Mammy asked soothingly.

"No, ah. I don't know, Mammy. I just woke up that way."

Mammy lumbered off to strip Wade's bed and when she found no trace of urine she took the sheets and nightclothes to Prissy to wash and went in search of Scarlett and Mister Will.

Scarlett had never felt so embarrassed as when Mammy explained what she'd found in Wade's bed and Will just said, "I'll speak with him."

"What is it?" Scarlett asked. "Does Wade need a doctor?"

"No," Will answered.

"Then what is it? I can take him home to Dr. Meade right away."

"Scarlett," Will said soothingly, "he doesn't need a doctor. He's becoming a man."

"What do you mean?"

At Scarlett's question Mammy bowed and ducked out of Ellen's office. At the sight of Mammy's swift exit, panic shot through Scarlett.

"Will, what is it? Tell me!" Scarlett cajoled.

"Scarlett, I'm very sorry Captain Butler isn't here to discuss this with you, it's a topic more suited for a wife and her husband, but since he ain't, I'll tell you."

Scarlett nodded and Will continued, "as you know, men become hard in the night and morning."

"I know," Scarlett whispered recalling all of the times she'd awakened to Rhett's hard member nestled against the leg she had slung over him or her back and feeling herself grow hot with embarrassment.

"But if that's it, why is he wetting the bed?" Scarlett asked as she stared at the floor.

"He ain't."

Scarlett looked at Will confusedly.

"It's his seed, Scarlett."

"Oh my!" Scarlett cried and sat on the sofa covering her face with her hands.

"And you are certain he does not need a doctor?"

"Yes, it's part of becoming a man. He'll outgrow it."

"What should I do?"

"I'm sure that's up to you, Scarlett. But I might reckon he'd appreciate not being in the nursery anymore."

Scarlett nodded and whispered, "thank you, Will."

"I'll speak to the boy, Scarlett," Will said as he left the small office.

When she saw Wade later that afternoon, Scarlett put her hand on his shoulder and smiled, "we'll move you into your own room when we get home."

Wade nodded and flushed but didn't say anything else about it to Scarlett.

Scarlett was profoundly grateful Will and Ashley had spoken to Wade and told him it was part of becoming a man. What would Scarlett have done if they had been at home? Even so, Scarlett spent the last few days so embarrassed she had a difficult time looking Will in the eye.

§§§ - Friday October 17, 1873

Ella's seventh birthday was their last night at Tara. Dilcey baked Ella an enormous chocolate cake and after a supper of Ella's favorite fried chicken, they all sat around the table and sang _Happy Birthday _and enjoyed cake. When Scarlett gave Ella the doll she'd secreted away on their journey, Ella hugged the doll to herself and then leaped from her chair to throw herself in Scarlett's arms. Ella spent the remainder of the evening trying out different names for her new doll before deciding on Mary.

Later that night when everyone else was asleep Scarlett paced back and forth across her room until Mammy heard the pacing and came to calm her lamb down.

"My lamb? Why's you awake?" Mammy asked as she stepped into Scarlett's room and closed the door behind her.

"Oh, Mammy! I can't go back to that house without him!" Scarlett had cried as she'd flung herself into Mammy's arms.

Mammy maneuvered so they were both seated on Scarlett's bed and held Scarlett as she cried.

"Why, why didn't mother ever tell me how to know when I was in love?" Scarlett asked Mammy once her sobs died down.

Mammy took a deep breath and then told Scarlett the story of Phillipe Robillard.

When Mammy finished Scarlett searched her memory. Finding out her mother hadn't loved her father surprised Scarlett much less than it should have. But she knew, she knew, she'd heard the name Phillipe before.

"That's who she called for when she died?" Scarlett realized suddenly.

Mammy nodded.

Scarlett sat up and asked, "she didn't want me to be in love then? Because she had a broken heart?"

Mammy nodded again.

"But why? Why didn't she tell me all those years I thought I was in love with Ashely? She could have saved me so much trouble!"

"I think she was gonna," Mammy said slowly, "but she's died before she's could. For a time she'd thought you'd grow out of it. She knew you's heart wouldn't break cause what you'd feeled for Mista Ashley weren't love."

"Why didn't you tell me then, Mammy?" Scarlett whispered, knowing the answer, but wanting someone to blame.

"You's know that wouldn't be fittin. I's you Mammy not you's Mother."

"I know," Scarlett said laying her head back on Mammy's shoulder.

"Mammy? What else would you tell me now if it were fitting?"

§§§ - Saturday, October 18, 1873

On Saturday, October 18, 1873, the morning after Ella's seventh birthday, Scarlett Butler, her children, and the three Wilkes boarded a train back to Atlanta with Mammy, Prissy and Dilcey.

Scarlett felt stronger and more healed than she had in years. She no longer needed her nightcap and felt free of needing something. She found she would still burst into unexpected tears at the sight or mention of something that reminded her too much of Bonnie or of Melly. But she could also smile and laugh at her memories of them. The mention of Rhett was different, things that reminded Scarlett of him or the mention of his name sent a sharp pain through her. Scarlett sighed and leaned her head against the window thinking about her last day at Tara.

As Scarlett watched the trees between Jonesboro and Atlanta fly past the train window she thought about what Mammy had finally told her. Scarlett remembered how Rhett had used to stare at her with his cat at a mouse hole look in the beginning of their marriage. She knew now Rhett had been waiting for some sign she loved him. But when none came he turned cruel and pushed Scarlett away. Scarlett could see clearly how she'd disappointed Rhett. She fervently wished he would return home and vowed to show him through her actions how she loved him. Scarlett was angry that he'd pushed her away for years, but there was no use crying over spilled milk. Before he'd stopped looking, Rhett had wanted Scarlett's actions to show him she loved him and now they would.

When Scarlett and the children arrived back at their Peachtree home, Scarlett directed Pork to take Mammy's bundle to the farthest and smallest guest bedroom and told Lou to go make it up for Mammy.

Mammy protested that it wasn't fitting and she should either live in the servant's house with most of the servants or in the nurse's room in the attic. But Scarlett insisted Mammy stay in the main living quarters and reminded Mammy Scarlett needed her and she needed her close by.

Mammy finally agreed when Scarlett said, "Mammy, how would you feel about it if I woke up and needed to talk to you in the middle of the night, but didn't call for you because I didn't want you to cross the yard from the servants' quarters in the dead of night, or want the other servants to know? Besides when Bonnie was a baby Lou stayed there in case she was needed in the night. You are still the Mammy-in-chief and now the Mammy-in-chief of the whole household. You should be in the main house for when you are needed."

§§§ - Sunday, October 19, 1873

Sunday Scarlett helped Wade arrange his new room next to hers.

As Scarlett and Wade arranged his books onto shelves and selected where to have Pork hang Charles's sword Scarlett wondered if Rhett's absence at this time when Wade might need a father, or at least a man he could trust and who he could ask the sorts of questions Scarlett couldn't answer, was hurting her son. Scarlett wanted to write Rhett, Rhett was the man Wade should discuss his member with, but Scarlett didn't know where he was or how to reach him.

Scarlett watched as Wade took a copy of _Les Miserables _from the box Prissy carried in from the nursery and lined it up several new places before turning and placing it on the bedside table.

"Your Aunt Melly loved that book."

"I know, she read it to me."

"Wade…" Scarlett faltered. She didn't know how to ask him if he missed Rhett, if he needed a man, or if he knew she was the reason that the man he loved most in the world wasn't there.

Wade turned and stared at his mother opened and closed her mouth without speaking. Seeing Wade's concern, Scarlett finally continued, "Do you need anything else for your room, darling?"

"No, mother," Wade said softly.

Scarlett nodded, "Enjoy your reading," she said and then she turned and headed to check on Mammy.

Sunday night Scarlett laid in her bed and watched the shadows cross the ceiling, Mammy's words running through her head.

"You knows Is loves you, mah lamb, but you drinks too much. If you doan want to be with you chillins like you's Ma was wid you, you gots ta be wid em. Alls the time."

"What do you mean? Mother was wonderful."

"And you done nevah knowed her cause she hid from you. Jus like you hid from Mista Wade and Miss Ella and Mista Rhett."

Scarlett knew Mammy was right. Her mother died loving someone who wasn't her father. Scarlett wondered if her father ever knew.

"You's jus like you Ma, Miss Scarlett. The good and de bad. You'd be better off if was jus the good."

"I wish I was more graceful and serene like Mother was. And Melly."

"You's strong like you's Ma. Dat's good. But you's love a man that ain't you's husband. Dat's bad."

"I don't love Ashley, Mammy. I thought I did, I did. But now I know I don't."

"Dat's good. Dat will helps you a heap."

"What should I do to be more like her?"

"Be you's self. You's plenty good. You saved Tara and alls of us. And we'd knowed it. Jus be a little kinder too."

§§§

Scarlett resumed working at the store on Monday feeling calmer than she had since before Bonnie. She and the children were going to have supper with India and Aunt Pitty at the Hamilton house that night. Pitty sent Uncle Peter Sunday morning when she'd learned they were all back in town. Scarlett assumed Ashely and Beau would be there as well, but she'd forgotten to ask Uncle Peter. Oh well, she thought resignedly, if he wasn't she'd just pop through the hedge as she had a thousand times before and bring Beau.

Scarlett smiled to see Ashely and Beau were there when she and the children arrived. India greeted Scarlett and the children with genuine warmth. Scarlett knew they would never be bosom friends, but she also recognized and appreciated the truce between them. It seemed Melly had been able to do in death what she had never been able to do in life between her sisters-in-law.

As the main course plates were cleared and Uncle Peter was bringing in slices of cake in horror of Ella's birthday Scarlett brought up a topic she'd been dreading. Melly had been teaching Wade, Beau, and Ella. It had started at Tara when Wade was much too young and had continued all these years. Now without Melly there, Scarlett needed to see to the educations of Wade, Beau, and Ella. She took a deep breath before beginning. She promised Melly she would care for Beau as her own and she would no matter whose feathers that would ruffle.

"I was thinking," Scarlett started slowly, "there's that new school near five points. I know the year has started, but I was thinking instead of finding a tutor for Wade, Beau, and Ella, it might be nice to enroll them at the school and see how they like it." Scarlett had several reasons for wanting to send the children to school instead of finding a tutor. First, she wanted Beau out of the house. It could not be good for him to spend all of his time there feeling the absence of Melly. Second, she felt the same about her own children and the absences of Rhett and Bonnie. Third, it might be nice for her children to make some new friends. There were plenty of new people in Atlanta and since the Bullock desertion few of them were now scallywags. Scarlett knew the old guard would ostracize her when word that Rhett had left her spread and she wanted her children to have friends even when she didn't.

There was a long silence until India said, "I think that's a wonderful idea, Scarlett. Doesn't that sound lovely Aunt Pitty?"

Pitty clearly understood she was to agree and nodded, "Oh, yes, school. What a wonderful idea."

"Ashely?" Scarlett asked softly. When he didn't answer she stated, "I'm going to go there tomorrow and find out what we have to do to enroll the children." She was going to send all three children to school. If she had to argue with Ashely about it, she'd to it later away from the children.

"Really, mother?" Wade asked.

"Yes, darling," Scarlett answered

"Me too, Aunt Scarlett?" Beau piped up. Relief flooded in Scarlett's constricted chest when Ashely nodded at his son.

§§§

Scarlett enrolled all three children at Oglethorpe Academy. As Scarlett filled out the forms for Beau she listed herself as his emergency contact. Then she stared at Wade and Ella's papers. Who should she list as the emergency contact for her own children? Ashely seemed the obvious answer, but Scarlett didn't think he could cope with an emergency. She tapped the end of the pen against her teeth for a moment. She could put Aunt Pitty, but Aunt Pitty would also be useless in a crisis. India? Could she trust India with her children? Yes. Probably more than Ashley right now.

Scarlett wrote India's name and Pitty's address and then asked, "May I list another one of my nephew's aunts as a second emergency contact. It's just his mother just … he just lost his mother and his father is struggling. Beau spends most nights with me and my children and I'd like him to also have the same aunt my children have listed if you ever can't reach me."

The secretary nodded and handed Scarlett a piece of paper. Scarlett again wrote India Wilkes and the address of the Hamilton house. The three children started school the very next day even though it was the middle of the week.

§§§ - Monday, November 3, 1873

Scarlett had known Ashely wouldn't return to the mills immediately upon returning to Atlanta. At Tara Ashely said Hugh was running them both and Scarlett had actually bitten her tongue to stop herself from crying out Ashley had to be bleeding money. Hugh could barely run one mill, he could not possibly be turning a profit with more work to do.

It was the first Monday in November and though they'd been back in Atlanta for two weeks Ashley hadn't returned to the mills. When Scarlett arrived to drop Beau off she'd found Ashely sitting on the sofa in the parlor staring at nothing.

"Beau, darling, why don't you go ask Dilcey to pack your things for tonight, your father isn't feeling well, so I'd like you to come stay with us."

"Yes, Auntie," Beau said before heading to the kitchen in search of Dilcey. It wasn't necessary to ask Dilcey to pack anything, in the two weeks they'd been back in Atlanta Beau had spent eight nights at the Butler's and after the third Scarlett stopped returning his clothes, so he had clean clothes in the Butler nursery.

"Ashley," Scarlett said in a voice she hoped was gentle as she sat on the other end of the sofa. "Are you going to return to the mills?"

"No. I'm going to sell them."

Scarlett gasped, "No! Ashley, I love the mills. Almost like they were one of my children. They kept us alive when I wasn't sure what would. I…I can't…I can't have them go into the hands of strangers. Do you understand? If you don't want them anymore, please sell them back to me."

Ashley turned and looked at her. After studying her face for a moment he said, "it would be one too many losses to bear wouldn't it?"

"Yes," Scarlett answered. Especially now, now when she wasn't sure she would ever see Rhett again. It had been almost two months and she hadn't heard from him. What if he divorced her? She needed the mills to make money. She couldn't risk letting them pass out of her hands entirely.

"Scarlett, I…" Ashely swallowed thickly, "I don't want them."

Scarlett nodded. "I'll pay you whatever you want for them. And I would be happy if you stayed on and ran the Peachtree mill."

"I'll take exactly what I paid you for them."

"Thank you!" Scarlett whispered fervently. "I'll go to the bank for a draft tomorrow. Can Uncle Henry draw up papers by then do you think?"

"I'll ask him. He did it on awfully short notice last time."

Scarlett felt a mixture of relief and joy flood through her. She would own her mills again. She had so many ideas for making more money with the mills and the store didn't really need her in it all day every day. Knowing that tomorrow she would have the security of the mills made breathing easier. She'd have to keep on the free darkies. Perhaps she could see if there were poor crackers who would work in one of the mills. They might be poorer workers and less strong, but they would be more dependable. She would also have to hire someone else to share some of her responsibilities. When she'd supervised the running of the mills and also driven around to sell lumber she'd come home just in time for supper exhausted most days and only seen the children for a few hours. She needed to make sure she was home in time to see the children before supper and then not so exhausted she couldn't spend time with them in the evenings after supper. They might be all she had one day.

§

The next afternoon when Scarlett and Ashely sat in Uncle Henry's office signing paperwork Scarlett asked, "What salary would you like, Ashely, would you like it part of the contract?"

"What, no, what salary?" Ashley asked confusedly.

"For running the Peachtree Mill. Hugh can keep Decatur and you Peachtree."

"Oh, Scarlett, I…I can help until you find someone else, but I don't want to run the mill."

Scarlett frowned and glanced to Uncle Henry before speaking. She didn't really want to have an audience for this conversation, but perhaps it was better that they did, maybe Uncle Henry could help her convince Ashely. "What do you plan on doing then?"

"For what?"

"For money, to feed Beau. If you don't work at the mill, how do you plan to survive?"

Ashley said nothing. Scarlett took a deep breath and avoided Uncle Henry's eye as she continued, "Ashely, I will pay you a salary if you don't come back to work. I won't let you and Beau starve. But, I think it would be much better for Beau and for you if you did come back to work. You need to do something other than sit in that house and miss Melly all day." Scarlett's eyes watered for reasons she didn't understand.

"You promised her?" Ashley asked.

"Yes. I promised her to care for Beau as if he were my own, and I will Ashley, I will." Scarlett tactfully left out her promise to care for him as well, but in the silence she thought all three of them in the room knew exactly what Melly had asked and Scarlett had promised.

"Do you remember when I promised you I would care for Melly and we stayed in Atlanta through the siege because she couldn't be moved? She, she asked me to take Beau if she didn't survive then and she asked me again… a few weeks ago," Scarlett swallowed thickly. Her throat was starting to tighten but she would not cry, not now. "So, you see, Ashley. I promised. And I will take him. If you think you can't go back to work or can't support him or … or for any other reason, I will take him. Do you understand?"

Ashely nodded.

"And I will make sure you, and India, and Aunt Pitty are cared for. But I think it would be better for you to do something. Anything."

"Scarlett's right, Ashely," Uncle Henry added, "I think it would do you a lot of good to return to the mills."

"I know, I know," Ashley said, then looking up at the ceiling he added, "it's just so difficult to be surrounded by her every day and to have her not be there. Her things are gone, but she haunts me, she haunts me, Scarlett. Everywhere I look I see her. Where she used to sit and sew, and her footstool tucked away, all the doilies she crocheted… and …" Ashley slumped forward and put his head in his hands.

Scarlett glanced at Uncle Henry before softly suggesting, "Why don't you move, Ashley. You could move in with Aunt Pitty, I know she would love to have you and Beau."

"And Melly's interest in the house belongs to Beau when he comes of age," Uncle Henry added.

"All right, all right, you win. I'll come back to work and Beau and I will move in with Aunt Pitty."

Scarlett smiled widely, "I think it will be good for you and Beau not to be alone so much. Besides, you can lease the Ivy Street house for additional income."

Beau and Ashely had moved into the Hamilton house with Aunt Pitty and India. Ashely had requested India switch rooms with him saying he couldn't live in his wife's childhood room. So India now lived in Melly's old room and Ashley in the room that had been Charles' and then Scarlett's.

Ashley returned to work running the Peachtree mill, and Scarlett had implemented her plan to hire some poor whites. They were more reliable than free darkies when it came to showing up, but they weren't as strong and Scarlett didn't think they worked as hard. But having a mixture of darkies and poor mountain men meant men worked every day and work got done.

Scarlett hired a man named John Rogers as her assistant. Rogers was like Will Benteen. He didn't seem to be all the way a cracker, but it was clear he was never planter class. Scarlett thought he might have been a poor farmer like the Slatterys, but not white trash like them. He must have been the kind who had been able to feed his family successfully but never get ahead. Scarlett didn't ask too many questions about Rogers' background, it was clear he was a southerner not a carpetbagger and he didn't try to cheat Scarlett and that's what mattered.

Scarlett met Rogers when he came to buy lumber. He and his wife moved to Atlanta because their seven-year old daughter Virginia, the fourth of their five children, had breathing trouble and they wanted to be close to a doctor. Virginia was Ella's age. Thinking of Bonnie lying cold and alone in her grave Scarlett sold him the lumber to build his house cheap and hired him.

When Scarlett trained Rogers his first day he'd said "And I recokn' you'll tell me to never do for another customer what you did for me, Mrs. Butler?"

"And what was that?"

"Sell me the lumber at a loss."

"Ah, well," Scarlett smiled, "I knew you were about to be an employee and that is a special price for employees."

Rogers nodded and Scarlett knew she had his respect. She trusted Rogers to do most of the running of the lumber business, she met with him Wednesday mornings and reviewed the books and discussed whatever business needed discussing. They visited both mills on Wednesdays and sometimes they were so efficient Scarlett had time to stop by the store before the children were done with school. She still missed running the mills in some ways, but knowing she still had them, they were hers and the would protect her family comforted her greatly especially when she wondered if she'd ever see Rhett again.

§§§ - Tuesday, December 2, 1873

Scarlett and the three children were having supper when Pork entered to hand Scarlett a telegram Tuesday evening.

Scarlett thanked Pork and looked at the return, Charleston, South Carolina. Rhett? Or her aunts? If it was from Rhett she did not want to read it in front of the children. What if it was bad news? What if it alerted her to expect divorce papers? What if something happened? If it was from either of her aunts it was certainly bad news, they would never go to the expense of a telegram for anything that wasn't urgent.

Frowning, Scarlett slipped the unopened telegram under the napkin on her lap. She would read it later.

"Who is it from, Mother?" Wade asked eyeing his mother carefully.

"No one."

"Mother," Wade said frowning, "is it from Uncle Rhett?"

Scarlett raised her eyebrow at him and Wade looked sheepish. "It's not anyone you know, Wade. It's about lumber."

"How can you tell if you haven't opened it?" Wade asked.

"I can tell from the return."

"May I see it?"

"No."

"How can you be sure it isn't from Uncle Rhett?"

"Because I am," Scarlett's tone was sharp. She knew she was about to lose her temper with her son.

"But-"

"Enough!" Scarlett cut him off.

The rest of the dinner continued in silence until Scarlett excused the three children. Wade followed Beau and Ella into the nursery to play games and Scarlett retired to her room to read the telegram in peace.

Scarlett sat on the sofa near the fireplace and opened the envelope with trembling fingers. Sliding the telegram out, Scarlett read,

I WILL RETURN WEDNESDAY THE 17TH STOP HAVE MY ROOM READY

Scarlett flipped back to the envelope. It was addressed to Mrs. Rhett Butler at their Peachtree house. The return said Charleston, South Carolina with no address. Scarlett knew she could get Mrs. Butler's address from her aunts if she wanted to send a reply. But that would take days. She couldn't telegram, they would know something was wrong. She'd have to write and wait for their response. No matter, Scarlett thought, she didn't know how to reply to this anyway. Rhett was coming back.

Scarlett read the telegram over three times before refolding it and laying on the sofa to weep.

That night was the first night since they'd returned from Tara that Scarlett walked down the hall to Mammy's room.

"Mammy?"

"What is it, honey chile?"

"Don't let me drink tonight."

"You doan needs to drink."

"I want to."

§§§

As the carriage brought her closer to the store, Scarlett thought about the ways her life had changed since Rhett left her. She had the mills and Rogers. The family came for Sunday supper every week. She lost Bonnie and Melly and Rhett, but as the weeks went by India had stayed warm and friendly. Now that she knew she didn't love Ashley, she felt a warm friendship for him. And now Scarlett was the master of brandy instead of it being the master of her.

Scarlett thought of the nights she woke up sweating and trembling and had to summon all of her will power not to go downstairs to the sideboard. She'd had Mammy remove the brandy from the house, but the sideboard still held all of Rhett's whiskey and other spirits and decanters of wine. One the nights her nightmares woke her and she wanted to drink, Scarlett reminded herself the whole of the Yankee army couldn't lick her and brandy and Rhett Butler wouldn't either.

Scarlett thought the most important change must be that the children were happy. They had been attending the Oglethorpe academy for eight weeks and loved it. Wade and Beau were both at the top of their classes already. Melly would be so proud. Scarlett thought about how Melly must have taught them so well every time one of the boys showed her an exam or an assignment with top marks. Ella was struggling with the schoolwork but doing reasonably well and loved playing with the other girls at school.

Scarlett was glad the children enjoyed school and were doing well, she was also relieved all three children started being invited to the birthday parties of their classmates. Perhaps, Scarlett thought, they would not be complete outcasts if Rhett never came back.

"Miss Scarlett?... Miss Scarlett?" Pork's voice broke into her memories.

"Oh, yes, Pork. What is it?"

"We'z here, Miss," Pork said.

"Oh, thank you," Scarlett said absently. Pork helped her climb out of the carriage and as she released his hand Scarlett said, "Come and pick me up after you pick up the children from school."

"Yes'm," Pork answered as he climbed back into the carriage.

Scarlett turned and entered the store. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Special thanks to: HeHumblesMeSometimes, Francis-rose, Nuala Lady of the Lake, Livisa, MissTricey, Gabyhyatt, gogomohamad229, romabeachgirl, Trukee Gal, Alizahsadik, Aethelfraed, Twilighternproud, EmmaElizaRose and guests 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 for your wonderful and insightful reviews! I cannot express how much I appreciate them and your PMs._


	3. Return, Wednesday, December 17, 1873

_Disclaimer: Would that they were mine._

* * *

That afternoon Scarlett had had tea with India, Aunt Pitty, and Ashley while Ashley prevaricated about sending Beau to the Butlers for the night. In the weeks since Ashley returned to running the Peachtree mill and he and Beau had moved into the Hamilton house Beau had started spending more nights at home. India, Pitty, and Dilcey were more than able to care for Beau, but on the nights Ashley's grief was the worst Beau continued to stay with Scarlett. Today was one of those days. Ashley had gone back and forth lamenting that he was still so grief-stricken Beau had to be out of the house so often so as not to see his father unable to function. Scarlett gently reminded Ashley that since he'd gone back to work and moved, Ashley has been doing so much better.

"It isn't enough, Scarlett," Ashley groaned burying his face in his hands.

"Ashley, remember, remember how my father was after my mother died? He was never the same. You aren't like that. You are getting better. And Beau is well cared for, don't worry so."

Ashley looked up and surveyed Scarlett keenly, "You mean because I'm still right in the head, but my heart is broken. I don't know that I can survive without her. And I can't care for Beau."

"You can care for Beau, Ashley, and you do so often. Now, stop this, would Melly want to see you like this? No. Why don't you go upstairs and lie down and Beau will come with me tonight."

Ashley nodded and had started to rise when India said softly, "Scarlett, doesn't Captain Butler return tonight, are you sure? Ashley can stay in his room and we can tell Beau he has a headache."

Scarlett smiled, "I am sure, India, thank you."

"Oh, Scarlett, no," Ashley said rising, "I forgot Rhett returned tonight. Leave Beau here."

Scarlett also rose, "I will if you really want him here, but he is welcome, more than welcome whether Rhett is home or not. Besides, you know he does better in the nursery with Ella than here on the bad days, Ashley. When he sees you upset it makes him very upset. He's better at my home where he's not alone in the nursery."

Ashley nodded, "I'll go kiss him goodnight."

"I'll send up tea after the children have gone," India told Ashley rising, "would you like a supper tray later?"

Ashley shook his head no and left the parlor. Scarlett and India followed him into the hall and stood side by side watching Ashley slowly walk up the stairs to the three children in the nursery.

"India," Scarlett said softly, "I know Christmas without Melly will be terrible for him. Beau can stay as long as he needs or as long as Ashley needs."

"Thank you, Scarlett, he does sleep so much better at your house." Beau had been waking up during the night crying for Melly since she died, but it happened much more often on the nights Beau spent in the Hamilton house. Neither Ashley or India were as good at calming him down as Scarlett and Mammy were and after Beau spend a few nights in a row at the Hamilton house he was often exhausted and cranky. Beau's teacher noticed the pattern and would sometimes quietly tell Scarlett it might be better if Beau stayed at his aunt's that evening.

"You'll all come for Christmas Eve?" Scarlett asked. She was worried about Christmas, the first Christmas without Bonnie and without Melly. Scarlett had invited Ashley, India, Aunt Pitty and Uncle Henry for Christmas Eve supper weeks ago. She hadn't told Rhett yet, she hadn't known where to write him. She hoped he would attend and refrain from being nasty and she hoped he wouldn't be angry with her for having issued invitations before asking him. But it was the children's first Christmas without Melly and Bonnie and Scarlett wanted all three children to know they were loved and to have a joy-filled holiday.

"Of course," India nodded, "I think family should all be together."

Scarlett smiled, "I'll have all the guest rooms made up so if you and Ashley and Aunt Pitty want to stay…"

India nodded as the clatter of three children on the stairs filled the hall.

§§§

When Pork pulled the carriage up to the Butler entrance later than usual because of the lengthy tea Mammy was waiting on the porch.

"Cap't Butler here," Mammy said as Pork assisted Scarlett down from the carriage.

"Go on up to the nursery, children," Scarlett directed with forced cheerfulness as one by one by one Pork assisted the children down. "Supper is in half an hour, so play quietly until Mammy tells you it's time to wash for supper."

Once the children had filed past Mammy and started up the stairs, Mammy whispered to Scarlett, "he in his room."

"Is he angry?"

"Yes'm," Mammy nodded.

"Thank you, Mammy. I'll go and try to explain and see if he would like to have supper with the children and I."

Mammy watched as Scarlett squared her shoulders and then headed upstairs to face her husband.

§§§

"Where are Bonnie's things, Scarlett?" Rhett demanded as he ripped open the door in response to her knock.

"I donated them to the-"

"You donated them!" Scarlett had never seen Rhett in a rage like this before. His face was gnarled and pink tinged, a world away from his usual careful mask.

"Good god, Scarlett, what is wrong with you? How dare you get rid of my daughter's things without consulting me. God damn you and your callous cheating soul to hell!"

"Rhett!" Scarlett interrupted, pushing past him into his room and closing the door behind her.

"Get out!" Rhett demanded.

"No, if you must scream at me, you won't do it in the hall where the children can hear."

Rhett took a deep breath to stop himself from snapping her neck and throwing her body into the hall the way she'd thoughtlessly tossed away Bonnie's things.

"I had to, Rhett. I… not all of her things are gone, some are in a trunk in the cellar, but…I had to donate the rest of her things."

"Her bed, Scarlett? You donated her bed? Were you just trying to get back at me for leaving?" Rhett's voice rose and he was screaming at her again.

Rhett stepped towards her and Scarlett stepped back until she felt the door against her back. Rhett was millimeters from being pressed up against her, his ragged breath washed over her face and the rage in his eyes terrified her. She'd never been truly afraid her husband would hurt her before this moment. She knew some men beat their wives, women always whispered about it behind fans and teacups. Even that night after Ashley's party when he'd carried her up the stairs and taken her, Scarlett had known he hadn't intended to hurt her that night but to claim her. Now, her heart beat wildly and cold sweat trickled down her back.

"I had to. I had to, Rhett. The sight of her bed was breaking my heart. When we got back from Tara, I would come and sit in here and stare at her bed and touch her dresses and cry. And then Mammy told me I had to let her things go if I ever wanted to be able to look back at her life with joy. So I did. India helped me, actually. I was trying to do it alone, but … it was too much, and I laid on the floor and wept and then India was there. She helped me pack up Melly's things too. And, well, I guess someone fetched her. She helped me select the things to keep, for you, and for…" Scarlett couldn't bear it. She'd long ago packed away some of Bonnie's baby things for when the next Butler baby arrived and she and India had packed a trunk of Bonnie's favorite dolls and dresses for Rhett and because it was too hard to let them go. Now the two trunks sat side by side in the cellar. Scarlett's voice had begun to shake when she continued, "so, there is a trunk in the cellar, by the … if you want to see her things, or to take them with you, but I, I couldn't stand to walk past and see the bed she'll never sleep in again, Rhett. I had to, I had to let her things go."

Rhett's jaw was still clenched as he stepped a few inches away from Scarlett and surveyed her. She looked better than she had when he'd left. And she was shockingly open. He'd been stunned to hear her admit to weakness. Rhett was also curious that India was the person who'd swept in to help Scarlett. They hated each other ferociously. What had happened to change that? Plus, a small part of Rhett knew he was thankful she had done it. On the train ride here he'd been dreading looking at Bonnie's cold empty bed and knowing she'd never sleep in it or giggle in his arms again. Scarlett had spared him that even if her only intention had been to spare herself from that pain.

"Will you come downstairs to supper?" Scarlett's voice broke into his musings.

Rhett didn't answer. He continued to survey her while he contemplated pushing her buttons to make her explode. He felt put off his footing by this more mature and calm version of Scarlett, but he also felt certain the immature, childish firecracker of a wife he'd known was still inside her.

"Supper is at six, we are having ham, Beau is here." Scarlett said in a clipped voice. Then without waiting for a response she turned and tried to open the door. Rhett was still too close to her and when she stepped back to allow the door to swing in, she stepped back into his chest.

They both froze. Rhett felt a twitch in his groin.

"Rhett?" Scarlett asked. She stepped away from him and turned awkwardly between his body and the partially open door. "Was there something else?"

Rhett said nothing but stepped back and allowed her to open the door and leave. Scarlett left his door open as she scurried down the hall to her room. §§§

Rhett did not come down to supper. Scarlett sent Pork up to his room with a tray. She and the children had pleasant enough supper discussing the children's school. Wade had a math test Friday and was lamenting having to study on the last few days before the holiday. Beau's reading was so advanced for someone who had just turned nine, he was sent up to another class for reading and he excitedly told Scarlett all about his new teacher and how she told the class they had to be nice because Beau was younger. "Tommy Jacobs, an Elsing cousin, is in that class, too Auntie," Beau told Scarlett. She was glad there was a boy Beau knew in his reading class. Ella was the only seven-year-old who had started school already knowing her letters, but she hated school, she often daydreamed and was woefully careless when it came to learning addition and subtraction. Ella had very little to say about school that evening, but Scarlett thought that might have something to do with the fact that the children knew Rhett was home, but Rhett hadn't gone into the nursery to see them.

Rhett did join Scarlett and the children in the parlor after supper.

Scarlett was seated on the sofa slowly embroidering a pillowcase to donate to the Widows and Orphans Society. Wade and Beau were each in one of the armchairs by the fireplace. Wade was reading silently to himself with his feet propped up on the footstool. Ella was seated on the footstool Beau's feet couldn't reach listening as Beau read aloud to her.

Silence fell when Rhett entered. Ella was the first to move, springing up from her seat and launching herself at Rhett crying, "Uncle Rhett! Uncle Rhett I missed you so!"

Rhett swung Ella up into his arms and squeezed her to him. His heart felt lighter at the feel of the girl in his arms. He knew Ella loved him, and would love him as completely as Bonnie had if he let her. As Rhett squeezed Ella to him and felt the warmth spread through him he watched Wade look between Scarlett and himself and Beau look between Wade and Scarlett.

"Beau, what a pleasure to see you, young man," Rhett said and then he looked over to Wade. "Wade, son, aren't you going to come and greet me?" Rhett was surprised by the boy's hesitation. Rhett knew Wade loved him, why was he hesitant?

Rhett watched as Wade glanced at Scarlett, who nodded slightly at her son. Wade rose and approached Rhett.

"Welcome home, sir," Wade extended his hand.

Baffled Rhett shook it. He would have to ask Scarlett about this later. Was she poisoning the boy's mind against him?

Rhett shifted Ella and then took her seat on the footstool at Beau's feet with Ella in his lap.

"Why don't you continue the story, Beau, it was lovely and you were reading very well."

Beau and Wade both glanced at Scarlett and Beau resumed the children's story about a rabbit who got into scrapes with his neighbor animals.

The feeling of Ella curled into him was a balm on Rhett's soul, but at the same time the way Wade's eyes kept leaving his book to glance between Rhett and Scarlett irked him. Perhaps he should have greeted Scarlett with a kiss on the cheek the way he would have earlier in their marriage. Perhaps that's why Wade knew or sensed something was wrong? Or perhaps Scarlett was poisoning the boy's mind against him. Wade eventually dropped his book into his lap and listened to Beau, helping Beau with unfamiliar words.

When the story ended Scarlett said, "it's time for bed, children, kiss Uncle Rhett goodnight and I'll be up in a little while to tuck you in."

The three children got up and hugged and kissed Rhett without complaint. After the last goodnight the children started to leave the parlor and Scarlett said, "Wade, light's out. Do you understand?" Wade smirked at his mother who, to Rhett's surprise, was also smiling.

"Yes, mother," Wade said, amusement clearly in his voice.

When the children had filed out, Rhett turned to Scarlett with raised eyebrows.

"Wade has his own room now, only Ella and Beau are in the nursery, and Wade likes to stay up late reading," Scarlett explained.

Rhett nodded. He didn't ask why Wade no longer slept in the nursery and Scarlett offered no explanation.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Scarlett rose and said, "I'm going to go tuck the children in."

Rhett also rose, "a touching display of motherhood," he mocked. It was just so easy to bait her and something in Rhett wanted Scarlett to fly into a rage. He wanted to see she was the same tempestuous child she'd always been.

Scarlett squeezed her eyes closed for a moment before replying, "goodnight, Rhett."

Scarlett turned to leave the room as Rhett stated, "I thought I might take the children to the park tomorrow. I've missed them."

"The children have school tomorrow," Scarlett turned back to face him. Scarlett's mind raced with all of the things she needed to tell him, the children were in school, Beau often stayed the night here, she'd invited everyone for Christmas Eve…

"School?" Rhett's voice interrupted Scarlett's mental list making.

"Yes, I've enrolled them at the Oglethorpe Academy it's close to the store, near five points. If he isn't here already we pick up Beau in the morning from Aunt Pitty's and then I take the children to school. Pork stops to see how Ashley is and then picks them up after school. Then they come for me and most days I come home with them. If I can't leave the store Pork brings them home. If Ashley isn't doing well Pork brings Beau here too. He has clothes in the nursery now."

Rhett nodded.

"They have school tomorrow and Friday and then they are on holiday until Monday the 5th."

They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Scarlett added, "Beau and Ashley moved into Aunt Pitty's with India and they all come for supper every Sunday. Will you… will you be at supper on Sundays while you are here?"

Rhett's eyes were cold when he retorted, "So that I can see you and your love, Scarlett? No. No, thank you."

Scarlett closed her eyes and straightened her spine before taking a deep breath and answering, "Rhett, you know I don't love him. You know it. I know that I've hurt you… because I… I," Scarlett lifted her chin and continued, "I know that I hurt you and I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do, or how to make you see, but, but, well, while you are here, I would appreciate it if you didn't do that. If you didn't act as if I was in love with him. We share a childhood, and some very happy memories, Rhett, some of my only happy memoires with someone who is still living…and Beau is my nephew and Ashley is Wade's uncle, so yes, we have supper every Sunday with the children, Aunt Pitty, India and sometimes Uncle Henry. I would like it if you would join us while you are here, however, if you will not, I will make your excuses."

Scarlett turned to walk away thinking having him back might be so much more difficult than him being gone when his words stopped her.

"I'll be there."

Scarlett turned and looked over her shoulder at him whispering, "thank you."

"Scarlett, is there anything else I should know? That's different? Or that you usually do?"

Scarlett turned, her heart thudding hard against her stays and thinking it might be best to start with what she was sure Rhett would think was the worst on her list stated, "I bought the mills back from Ashley."

Rhett's posture stiffened and his eyes glared at her.

"He was going to sell them, Rhett, to anyone. I didn't ask him to sell them back to me. He told me he was going to sell them and I offered to buy them because I … I love the mills and I couldn't stand the thought of them passing into the hands of strangers."

"Yes," Rhett sneered, "as I've told you before, you just can't keep your fingers out of everybody's pies."

Scarlett squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, "No. I just couldn't bare to lose one more thing I love." Then she turned and swept from the room before she could lose her temper or even worse, cry in front of Rhett.

§§§ - Friday, December 19, 1873

Rhett lasted two nights before the urge was too strong and he visited Belle's. He went directly after supper Friday evening and had some new girl named Daisy suck him off to completion kneeling before him while he stood. Then he sat on the edge of the bed and had her kneel and pleasure him again. Just before he finished he stood, turned her around, pulled up her dress and took her bent over the bed. Rhett still felt tension in his back as he reentered the Peachtree Street house. It was only 11:30 pm much, much earlier than he used to return from Belle's, but he wanted to quell gossip on this trip and being seen returning home at a respectable hour on a Friday night instead of the wee hours of the morning was certainly part of that.

As he reached the second floor and turned to walk down the hall Scarlett's door opened and she softly called, "Rhett?"

"Yes, my pet?" Rhett stepped over to her so they could keep their voices lowered. The nursery was at the other end of the hall, but no use alerting the servants to an argument.

Rhett had completely forgotten that Wade now occupied the room next to Scarlett's. Wade was angry with his Uncle Rhett for leaving and suspected his stepfather had wronged his mother somehow. The look on his mother's face the first few nights they were at Tara kept playing in Wade's mind as he crouched down to listen through his partially open door. Wade wanted to know to how his stepfather spoke to his mother when he thought they were alone.

Scarlett wrinkled her nose. Rhett knew she could probably smell the whore's perfume on him. She'd worn a lot of it and the stink had bothered Rhett until her tongue started to work his throbbing manhood.

"You were at Belle's," Scarlett stated. There was no question in either of their minds that Scarlett knew where he had been and what he'd been doing. Well, Rhett chuckled to himself, probably not what he'd been doing. He'd never taught his wife to suck him off and he doubted she even knew such a thing existed.

Scarlett saw his smile and thought he was taunting her. "Why! Why must you go there?"

"I'm a man, Scarlett. I have needs."

"How long are you staying?"

"In Atlanta? Not long."

"But, you'll stay for Wade's birthday, won't you? He'd be heartbroken if you left before then. It's been such a hard year and …"

"Scarlett, what kind of a man do you think I am? Of course I will stay for Wade's birthday. Don't you think I love him as if he were my own?"

"I used to until you left us for months for the second time and didn't tell us where you were going or when you would be back," Scarlett said to the floor her voice full of heat and disappointment.

Wade clenched his hands into fists. That bastard **had**left his mother. So why was he back now? Wade wanted to run down the hall and sink his fists into his stepfather's face.

Rhett said nothing as Scarlett continued to stare at the floor. This was surprising. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't throwing anything. A calm but angry Scarlett was an entirely new animal and Rhett was contemplating the best way to respond when she said, "It's only three weeks, Rhett, can't you… can't you, not go there for three weeks? I know you have needs, Rhett... but … it's only three weeks."

"And what exactly do you suggest I do if I have needs before that three weeks ends, Scarlett? Are you going to satisfy them?"

Scarlett froze. Rhett watched her spine stiffen as she squared her shoulders. When she looked up at him her face was perfectly calm. Rhett tilted his head to the side. He'd been sure this would incite a temper tantrum. How could Rhett make a divorce case for cruelty if Scarlett acted like an adult? He'd be left with her brandy habit. Rhett realized he'd have to pay attention to her drinking. He hadn't heard her get up and go downstairs the previous two nights. Maybe the brandy was in her room now.

Instead of the tantrum Rhett expected, Scarlett looked him in the eye and asked, "If I do, will you promise never to set foot in there again for the rest of the time you are home?"

Rhett narrowed his eyes at her, "those terms are acceptable."

Scarlett nodded. Then she took a deep breath and staring at the floor asked, "Are you satisfied right now, or do you still have needs?"

Rhett took a deep breath. He still had needs. He needed to suck her nipples into his mouth until she squealed. He needed to feel that she was wet for him and taste her folds and suck her bundle of nerves until she cried his name in ecstasy. He needed to teach her to lick and suck him until his whole body was on fire. He needed to pound into her with her legs and arms clasped tightly around him and her fingernails digging into his back until he found release while breathing in her neck. But something told him if he took her tonight it would break something between them. Rhett stood and scanned her body and wondered why that bothered him. He could take this woman over and over and over, however he wanted for three weeks and then divorce her and take anything he wanted. So why wasn't he shoving her against a wall right now?

Scarlett squirmed under his gaze.

"No, my pet. I'm quite satisfied," Rhett drawled and then leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek whispering, "goodnight."

"Goodnight, Rhett," Scarlett whispered back and then stepped into her room and closed the door. Rhett listened for the click that didn't come. Scarlett hadn't locked the door. She was serious. She would give him her body. Well, perhaps Rhett would hold her to that soon he thought as he walked to his room.

After Rhett's door closed, Wade closed his door and leaned back against it feeling his heart thudding as rage coursed through him. Uncle Will had talked to Wade about men and women and relations at Tara. Wade knew that's what his parents were discussing, but he didn't understand why. As husband and wife they should be having relations. At least, that's what Uncle Will and Uncle Ashley had said before Uncle Ashley had gotten too upset thinking about Aunt Melly and had left his grandmother's office.

Wade sighed at the memory. He loved his Uncle Ashley because his Aunt Melly loved his Uncle Ashley, but Wade could also understand why Uncle Rhett despised him. His mother had lost Bonnie and Aunt Melly and Uncle Rhett and she was still strong. She loved him and Ella and Beau and took care of them, she took care of everyone. Both Uncle Ashley and Uncle Will had told Wade it was a man's job to take care of their womenfolk, but who was taking care of his mother? His Uncle Rhett should be, she was his wife, it was his job to protect her and care for her. But he wasn't. He wasn't doing it. Uncle Rhett had married his mother, but wasn't caring for her, he wasn't living up to his responsibilities. Yet, his mother was offering him the relations that were his due.

Wade's rage boiled as he moved from the door back to his bed. It was going to be up to Wade to care for and protect his mother he realized. His mother was his womenfolk. She was his family.

* * *

Author's_ Notes: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews and PMs. They mean so much to me and keep me writing. Special thanks to Aethelfraed, EmmaElizaRose, __gogomohamad229, __Gabyhyatt, __Livisa, __Trukee Gal, __romabeachgirl, Sprout 76, __Alizahsadik, __Nuala Lady of the Lake, __and guests 1, 2, 3. _


	4. Reunion, Saturday, December 20, 1873

_Disclaimer: Anything and anyone you recognize does not belong to me._

* * *

Rhett, Scarlett, and the children went to the park Saturday afternoon and stopped to take Beau along at Wade's request. Rhett noted that Ashley was even more downtrodden then he remembered as he observed Ashley and Scarlett converse. There was warmth in their interaction, but no heat. They looked like siblings as they gathered items to take to the park and then to the Butler's for supper.

"Won't you join us for supper, Ashley?" Scarlett asked.

"Oh, no thank you, I'm sure Dilcey's made something," Rhett tried to hide his smirk as Dilcey popped her head out of the kitchen and exchanged a look with Scarlett.

"Children, go wait for us on the porch please, you are making such a racket," Scarlett said and the children trooped out without complaint.

"Ashley, what have you eaten today?" Scarlett asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Oh, I don't know," Ashley answered.

"Ashley! I've told you a hundred times, you have to eat. Melly would not want to see you like this. And think of Beau! You have to stay strong for him."

"I know, Scarlett," Ashley answered.

Wanting to cut the conversation off, Rhett interjected, "Yes, Ashley, please come for supper. It would be nice to catch up after I've been away so long."

Ashley drew his eyebrows down in confusion before conceding, "Oh, all right. Seven?"

"Yes, we'll see you later," Scarlett twittered as she took Rhett's arm and they turned to go.

"Thank you," Scarlett whispered fervently to Rhett as they stepped towards the front door. "I'm worried, Rhett. I know he misses Melly, I know. But, he has to think of Beau. It's not that I can't take Beau, I can, and I will if this keeps up, but I don't want Beau to see his father like this. Besides, Melly would never forgive me if I let Ashley kill himself in front of Beau's eyes this way."

Rhett didn't reply, there was nothing he could say to that. There was no longing in her voice or in her eyes when she spoke of Ashley. Rhett briefly wondered if Scarlett wanted Beau to replace Bonnie until the children engaged him in conversation as they walked.

Rhett enjoyed the afternoon at the park with the children though he was still puzzled by Wade's distance. Ella and Beau kept up a steady stream of conversation telling Rhett all about their new school and their time at Tara. But Wade only spoke to Rhett when Rhett asked him a question. Wade was never rude, but he looked between Rhett and Scarlett often, particularly before answering a question. There was no obvious hostility in the boy's behavior, but Rhett sensed it. When Rhett asked him too many questions, Wade would turn to his mother and draw her into the conversation. Wade seemed protective of her instead of afraid of her. The change both intrigued and irritated Rhett. He would have to discuss this with Scarlett and perhaps Wade. He would not let Scarlett poison the mind of the boy Rhett had always considered to be his son.

Dinner that night had moments of tension, but for the most part was surprisingly pleasant. Rhett answered Ashley's questions about Chicago and his new business ventures and Rhett tried to gently probe Ashley about why he'd sold the mills and then consented to go back and run one. Ashley didn't say much and Rhett knew the presence of the children was partly responsible for that. Ashley departed without Beau as soon as supper was over.

After Ashley left, they sat in the parlor and Scarlett asked Wade to read aloud. Scarlett was helping Ella knit a shawl for herself and Rhett watched as Beau put down his book and Wade turned back to the start of a chapter and started reading in such a way that Rhett knew this is what his family had been doing in his absence. Scarlett picked up her own needles and glanced between her work and Ella's as Wade read.

As Rhett watched Scarlett lean over Ella and say, "no, darling, you have to count every one. Don't purl yet," and heard Wade automatically pause in his reading he felt himself twitch. This moment of family with Scarlett and her children is what he had wanted for years. But now he was an outsider, he was the one who had no place in this moment. Beau belonged more than he did. Rhett noticed that Scarlett's eyes flicked to him frequently and closed his eyes and thought of shipping manifests so that he wouldn't get hard in the parlor in front of the children.

Rhett thought about going to Scarlett that night as he pleasured himself. Sighing as his seed spilled into a towel he wondered what would happen if he did. Did she want him the way he wanted her? She hadn't made any overtures claiming she loved him. Had she realized she doesn't love him? Was she respecting his wishes not to be chased after? Would she welcome his advances or merely tolerate them? Would she expect something of him after? What if she got with child? Rhett didn't think he could stand losing another child. Could he love one? Did he want one? Rhett didn't have any preventatives here. Would Scarlett consider a visit to Belles for some to be a violation of their agreement and deny her body to him? How should he explain to her what preventatives were? He could just try to release outside her, that would lessen the chances of a child. Relations were certainly more pleasurable without the preventative skin between his skin and hers.

Before he knew it he was hard in his hand again. He swiped that little bead of precum that made the withdrawing before release plan not the sort guarantee Rhett hoped it would be and began to pleasure himself with long sure strokes.

§§§ - Sunday, December 21, 1873

Sunday morning passed easily enough, but as the afternoon wore on Rhett noticed a tension in Scarlett.

"Worried about supper, my pet?" Rhett asked as he entered the study and found Scarlett bent over her desk with what appeared to be inventory lists.

"No," Scarlett answered and then her eyes widened, "you will come, won't you?"

"Why does it matter?"

Scarlett sighed and lowered her pen, "because if you don't come people will talk. They'll say our marriage is over in everything but name and-"

"Our marriage is over," Rhett interrupted tersely.

"Rhett, you promised me you would come back and keep the gossip away, you said you'd come back often enough to keep it at bay."

"I know what I promised, Scarlett, and I damn myself for promising it."

Scarlett flinched.

Rhett seated himself in his desk chair and turned to observe his wife. She was pale with spots of color on her cheeks. Rhett could see the flush at her neck. She was angry. Well, Rhett was angry too.

"How will people know if I don't attend your family supper, Scarlett?"

"Pitty… and India…and the servants. You know how people talk. And tearing me down seems to be a favorite Atlanta pastime."

"What happened with India?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've never seen either of you say a civil thing to or about the other. And yet she came and helped you pack Bonnie's things. What happened?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I think…I think when she realized I don't love Ashley, at least not in that way, she … she…we had both lost Melly and I think...or perhaps she felt sorry for me. I lost Bonnie and Melly and you."

"You haven't lost me."

"Haven't I? You weren't here. I didn't know where you were or when or if you were coming back. You just said our marriage is over. So…how is that not the same thing? I needed you and you were gone. Completely gone."

Scarlett looked down.

Rhett watched as she smoothed her unwrinkled skirt and took a deep breath.

"Are you coming to supper?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

§§§

Uncle Henry was the first to arrive for supper followed shortly by Ashley, India and Pitty. Rhett sighed when Scarlett sent Prissy to bring the children and they all went in to supper. He expected an evening with Scarlett and Ashley with India to be torturous.

Rhett observed Scarlett throughout the supper. She was friendly to Ashley and India in a similar way. Her gaze never lingered on Ashley, but it did linger on him and on the children. Rhett was surprised to see how much this odd little family, absent Melly and Charles who had tied the group together, seemed to function. It was evident India and Scarlett had formed a sort of alliance to care for Beau and Ashley and Pitty. The supper had moments of sadness when people avoided bringing up Melly or Bonnie yet all felt their absences, but was one of the most pleasant evenings Rhett had spent in a while. Rhett was surprised he enjoyed the discussion of the new impressionist art with Ashley & Henry in the library after supper while the women and children were in the parlor.

Beau went home to the Hamilton house with his father and Rhett was interested in the wistful expression on Scarlett's face as she hugged her nephew goodbye. Rhett wondered what she was thinking about and when she'd found her maternal instincts.

§§§ - Monday, December 22, 1873

When Rhett woke Monday morning he was so hard he thought he would explode. Rhett pictured Scarlett's body and thought about how she'd moaned the night he'd carried her up the stairs and frantically taken her as he pleasured himself.

When Rhett finished he tossed the seed filled towel near the toilet and laid back on the bed thinking. When he'd made his bargain with Scarlett he'd thought he'd be able to resist his urges for a few weeks and leave. But it was clear to him he could not. He would have to either break their agreement or take his wife and if Scarlett was going to willingly offer him the body he wanted, Rhett was going to take it.

But should he? Could he take his wife and not be ensnared? Rhett honestly wasn't sure. Rhett stared at the ceiling and thought about how he'd held himself back during relations with his wife for months and months until Bonnie came and she'd kicked him out of their bed.

Feeling himself twitch and then start to grow hard again he decided. He would take his wife. Tonight. And he would be able to keep her from drawing him in. He would treat her like a whore, demanding all of the things he'd let her deny him for years. He would be pleasured and fulfilled and perhaps Scarlett would enjoy her expanded horizons. But even if she didn't, she would fulfill the wifely duties she'd denied him for years and he would not be cut by her claws.

Monday night after the children were in their beds, Rhett took Scarlett's hand and led her to her room.

Once he closed the door behind him he turned to find her standing there with wide eyes.

"Turn around," Rhett drawled.

Scarlett did and he began to unbutton her dress. As he worked, Scarlett reached up and began to take pins out of her hair. Rhett interrupted her when he lifted her dress over her head. Rhett unlaced her and Scarlett sighed deeply and twisted and stretched her back.

Rhett paused considering how he wanted to go about taking his own wife. He didn't know if she wanted him or was tolerating him or even if she didn't want him but felt obligated.

Scarlett turned and Rhett put her hands on the buttons of his waistcoat then slid his jacket off his shoulders. Dropping his jacket the floor Rhett reached out and tweaked Scarlett's nipples through her chemise and Scarlett closed her eyes and paused in her unbuttoning.

She wanted him. Good.

Rhett tore the chemise off of her and leaned forward drawing her left nipple into his mouth. Scarlett gasped when he sucked hard.

Removing his own shirt and waistcoat, Rhett walked them to the bed and stopped when the backs of Scarlett's legs hit it. Releasing her Rhett undid his trousers then slid off his trousers and drawers while stepping away from her as little as possible. Rhett nodded at her pantalets and Scarlett removed them.

They stood naked before each other for a moment before Rhett pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

Rhett pushed her onto the bed and then crawled on top of her. He took one of her nipples in his mouth and put his fingers between her legs. She was wet and ready. Rhett wanted to tease her, he wanted to teach her oral pleasures but he thought he might explode at the feeling of her juices on his fingers.

Rhett propped himself on one elbow to position himself. He slid the tip of his manhood into her opening and looked up at her eyes. Emerald green swimming in desire stared back at him. Rhett pushed himself inside her slowly and they both groaned. Rhett picked up one of her legs and draped it over his shoulder, he could see the question in Scarlett's eyes but didn't say anything. He wanted to be buried deep inside her and this was the way. She'd figure it out.

When Rhett felt his balls contract he flipped them over so he was on his back. Scarlett looked down in confusion. Maybe he should have taught her about pleasure years ago, but he'd known she wasn't comfortable with relations and he had been trying not to push her so she would enjoy them. Perhaps what they had needed was for him to push her and hard. Well, he was going to push her now. Now he had nothing to lose if she decided to deny him her body. He'd just go back to Belle's and crush this woman by taking everything she loved. Rhett felt the impending release ebb at his thoughts even as he thrust up into her. Well, good, he thought. Lasting was the point.

Rhett stilled. Scarlett rested her hands on his chest. He smiled at the sight of her astride him with her breasts still slightly swaying and peaked nipples. Rhett leaned up and licked a nipple.

"Ride," he commanded.

"What?"

"Ride me, how I ride you."

When Scarlett didn't move Rhett lifted her hips and then set her back down.

"Oh," Scarlett gasped and then she began to move. It was clear she'd never had relations like this before. She moved awkwardly and seemed to change her rhythm often. Rhett was fine with this. He wanted to be buried inside her as long as possible. He teased her nipples with his mouth and rubbed her little bud of nerves in circles. Scarlett was panting and her thrusts became short and hard. Rhett could feel his balls tightening again so he grabbed Scarlett's hips and directed her thrusts until he came so hard he saw stars.

Scarlett draped herself across his chest with his manhood softening inside her. Rhett pulled her hair off her face and then rested his hand on the small of her back.

"Oh my…." Scarlett whispered. Rhett could feel his softened member slide out of her and felt a gush of what he knew was his seed. Good he thought as he wrapped his other arm around her to hold her on his chest, maybe it will all run out and she won't get with child.

§§§ - Tuesday, December 23, 1873

When Rhett awoke Tuesday morning he surprised to find he was lying on his left side spooned against Scarlett and hard against her back. He'd meant to get up and return to his own room, but he must have slept through the night. Deciding to take advantage of the situation, Rhett listened to Scarlett's breathing and thought good she is already awake. He pulled her top leg over his hip and then reached between her legs and teased her folds. Rhett circled his fingers over her bundle of nerves until his fingers were soaked in her arousal. Scarlett didn't say anything but he heard her breathing quicken.

Rhett removed his hand and positioned himself. Then he thrust into her in one long stroke.

"Oh!" Scarlett cried and Rhett thought he heard a twinge of fear or worry or maybe it was just surprise. Rhett ignored this, this was their agreement. She was his wife and he owned her body. She'd denied him for years and he was done. He was going to take from her whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. As Rhett tilted his hips to slide in and out of her he reached over her arm to tease her nipple trapping her arm beneath his.

Rhett wanted to see her face so he slid his left arm out from underneath her neck and propped himself up by the elbow. When he saw her right arm trapped beneath his he let go of her nipple and picked up her hand bringing it to the apex of her thighs. He guided her fingers in making tight circles over her bundle of nerves and watched a pink blush spread across her cheeks and chest.

"Touch yourself," he commanded as he released her hand and brought his own back up to her nipple.

Scarlett moved her fingers in another circle then stopped.

"Scarlett!" Rhett growled and Rhett watched the flush across her body become crimson as her fingers resumed circling.

Rhett leaned forward and drew her earlobe into his mouth, then he kissed her jaw as far as he could reach. When she did not turn her head to kiss him, Rhett kissed back to her ear. He knew she was embarrassed. She didn't think she should touch herself this way, but somehow Rhett didn't care.

Suddenly Rhett felt himself spurting his seed inside her. Damn, Rhett thought. I meant to withdraw and release on her belly.

Rhett held Scarlett to him as his breathing slowed. Her eyes were still screwed tightly shut. Well, Rhett thought. She'd learn what he meant by relations while he was here. Perhaps then she'd understand his needs.

Once his heart was calm Rhett leaned over her and kissed Scarlett on the lips until she began to kiss him back.

"Good morning, Scarlett," he said when he pulled away and sat up.

"Good morning, Rhett," Scarlett whispered. She continued to lay and stare at him while he donned yesterday's clothes to go back to his room to get ready for the day.

§§§

Tuesday was the last day the store was open before the holiday and Scarlett stayed late. She tried to concentrate on sales and on enticing people to buy more, but her mind kept returning to last night and this morning over and over.

Rhett had been with her in ways he never had before. Even that night after Ashley's party when he'd carried her up the stairs. He'd been rough and demanding and Scarlett had had to conceal marks and bites from Mammy for days, but all three times he'd taken her that night he'd done it the normal way with her on her back and him cradled between her legs.

But last night, he'd flipped them over and directed her to ride. She'd felt uncomfortable she hadn't known was she was doing and she wasn't sure this was an acceptable way to have relations. And then this morning, oh this morning. Scarlett's face flushed every time she thought about it. He'd started to touch her and it had felt wonderful, but then he entered her from behind her and Scarlett's heart had started thudding in her chest. She had just decided she'd get used to all the unorthodox ways Rhett wanted to have relations, but then Rhett had made her touch herself. Scarlett was ashamed of her own wanton behavior. When they'd had relations when they were first married Scarlett had been embarrassed to admit she liked relations much better when Rhett did this to her, but the thought of touching herself in that way made her terrified of the guilt coursing through her.

Scarlett's mind also returned to how happy she'd been when she woke up in Rhett's arms. The way his arm had been slung over her with his hand on her belly holding her tightly to him made Scarlett thrill with something she didn't quite understand. After all of the times he'd left her, and after the last time he'd taken her and left, Scarlett had been sure she would wake up alone. But every time Scarlett's mind remembered the feel of Rhett's body behind hers Scarlett felt confident and peaceful. Sure, Rhett wanted relations that were more embarrassing than before, but she had to admit in her own pragmatic mind she had enjoyed them. Perhaps if he came to her bed every night things would be like they were before. Before Bonnie came and Scarlett ruined everything by removing him from their bed. As the day wore on Scarlett found herself hoping Rhett would follow her to her bed again this evening.

"India and Beau came calling," Rhett's voice in her small office made Scarlett jump and gasp.

"God's nightgown, Rhett! You startled me!" Scarlett leaned over to try to grab the pen she'd dropped. Her corset didn't allow her to bend enough to reach it.

Rhett stooped and picked it up, his face inches from hers. He watched her eyes dilate and the flush spread across her cheeks and down her neck. He wanted to bend her over her desk and take her. Instead, he stayed in her space, teasing her with his nearness and breathing in her breath as he handed the pen back. He felt her lean towards him and then stop herself and lean away.

Smirking he rose and extended his hand to help her up.

"Mammy sent me for you," Rhett explained.

Scarlett nodded and gathered a few things into her reticule before taking Rhett's offered arm and following him out of the store in silence.

Once Rhett helped Scarlett into the carriage and climbed in after her, Rhett said, "India seems to have warmed considerably towards you."

Scarlett wasn't sure if it was a question and so said nothing.

After a pause, Scarlett asked, "will India and Beau be staying for supper?"

"Beau will. India seemed eager to take her leave."

Scarlett smiled, "she has warmed, Rhett. I think losing Melly changed a lot of things. …but she's still India."

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of the reviews and PMs! I love hearing what you think! Special thanks _to:_ Francis-rose, Sprout76, Gabyhyatt, Twilighternproud, Livisa, Aethelfraed, Darcyman71, _romabeachgirl_, EmmaElizaRose, _Trukee_ Gal, LibeRATE1511, MissTricey, Conlyn70, Lcorrea, _gumper_, and guest._

_EXTRA, EXTRA special thanks to romabeachgirl and EmmaElizaRose for your amazing and thoughtful PM dialogues. I appreciate you both so much. _

_Just because a few people asked, my goal is to update every Wednesday evening and Saturday morning pacific time. I'm still several chapters ahead, so I don't anticipate having to deviate from that plan. :) In the unlikely event that I do, I'll let you all know._


	5. Holidays, Tuesday, December 23, 1873

_Disclaimer: Would that they were _mine.

* * *

"Rhett, do you mind if we stop at Mr. Jefferson's?" Scarlett asked once they'd stopped chuckling.

"Whatever for, Scarlett. Mammy sent me for you."

"I know, but, well, I ordered flowers to take to the cemetery tomorrow and I'd like to see if I can increase the order."

"What for?"

"For you. Would you like to come to the cemetery with the children and I? I would like to visit Bonnie for Christmas, and Melly, but I don't want to take the children on Christmas Day. I think it will be too sad for them, so I am going to take them to see Bonnie and Melly in the morning."

"I see," Rhett drawled schooling his face into its habitual passive mask.

Scarlett frowned at Rhett's expression and tapped the back of Pork's seat to request the stop.

Rhett said nothing on the short drive to Mr. Jefferson's. Once they arrived he climbed down and handed out of the carriage and then stood and waited while Scarlett went in alone.

Rhett had visited Bonnie's grave and left flowers a few times since his return. He was not certain he wanted to share the experience with Scarlett and the children. Rhett watched Scarlett move through the shop window. Her black crepe mourning stood out shockingly among the expensive plants and flowers Mr. Jefferson had shipped in from hothouses. Rhett contemplated how he'd gotten Scarlett out of mourning twice before. He'd gradually coaxed her out of her fake mourning for Charles during the war. But with Frank Scarlett had only been a few months into her year and a half of light mourning when they married and Scarlett's mourning had ended in an afternoon. Rhett sighed. He'd wanted her out of mourning then, but now? Now Rhett wasn't so sure. How would he feel when Scarlett stopped mourning Bonnie in June? Would Scarlett rejoice she was finally out of mourning? Would she take off her crepe and never remember his beautiful daughter? No, despite his anger Rhett knew that Scarlett truly grieved for Bonnie.

Suddenly she was beside him and Rhett startled.

"Rhett?" Scarlett asked worriedly.

"Were you able to obtain more flowers, my pet?"

"Yes," Scarlett answered as Rhett helped her into the carriage, "Mr. Jefferson will bring them by at seven tomorrow."

Rhett climbed into the carriage behind Scarlett and sat closer to her than was necessary. Scarlett smiled and slid her arm through Rhett's elbow. Rhett reached for her hand and laced their fingers together, resting the back of Scarlett's hand against his chest as he had so often done when they were first married.

§§§

Beau stayed in the Butler nursery Tuesday night. Rhett and Scarlett left the nursery together after tucking in Ella and Beau and kissing them goodnight.

As Rhett took Scarlett's arm and led her to room Scarlett's heart began to pound and shimmery tickling warmth began to pool into her belly.

Rhett pulled them into her room and closed the door. Then Rhett turned and pushed Scarlett against the door, his body holding hers firmly against it. Scarlett wrapped her arms around him as he kissed her, his tongue seeking entrance to her mouth. She briefly wondered if Rhett would claim his rights every night for the rest of his stay before surrendering to the power of his kisses.

When Scarlett began to feel lightheaded she turned her head away panting.

Rhett smirked and stepped back. He took Scarlett's hand and led her to the middle of the room, then he turned her and swiftly undid the buttons down her back.

Rhett didn't lift the dress over her head though. He stepped away and sat in one of the chairs in front of the fire after turning it to face the room.

"Undress," Rhett commanded.

Scarlett's heart hammered faster. She stood in silence for a moment wondering what it was he wanted.

"Undress," Rhett repeated.

Embarrassment flooded through Scarlett turning her deliciously pink as she lifted her dress over her head then untied the bustle and let it and her petticoats drop to the floor. Rhett had seen her naked and undressed her himself hundreds of times, but this felt indecent in a way being naked in a bed with him did not.

Scarlett started to step toward him so he could loosen her stays when he held up a hand.

"Do them yourself," he said and as Scarlett stepped back and awkwardly reached around herself to begin pulling the laces free she saw the bulge in Rhett's pants grow.

By the time she'd finally unlaced herself and dropped her corset on the floor Rhett was stroking himself through his pants.

Scarlett paused and watched him. Shame at the sight and excitement mingled within her.

"Now the rest," Rhett commanded.

Scarlett lifted her hands to her hair to take the pins out.

"No," Rhett's hoarse voice stopped her, "leave your hair, remove your clothing."

Scarlett nodded and lifted her chemise over her head. She let it drop to the floor and then shoved her pantalets and stockings off.

When she stood, completely naked, Rhett reached out a hand to her and she stepped over to him.

"Now undress me," he commanded.

Scarlett nodded and removed his cravat pin and cufflinks before silently walking them to the vanity and depositing them in her hairpin bowl. When she returned Rhett was standing with his cravat pooled on the floor by his discarded shoes.

Scarlett removed his frock coat, waistcoat and shirt, letting each piece drop to the floor. Then she took a deep breath and began to unbutton his pants. Rhett thrust himself into her hands as she worked and when she had unbuttoned them, she shoved his pants and drawers down his legs.

Rhett toed off his shoes and stepped out of his pants and drawers. Then he took Scarlett's hand and placed it on his erect manhood.

"Stroke like this," he said more softly, showing her how to move her hand up and down him.

"Squeeze harder," he directed after his hand left hers and went to the apex of her thighs.

"Ah," Rhett groaned spreading the wetness he found between her legs around, "I knew you'd be wet for me."

Rhett withdrew his fingers and brought them to Scarlett's lips. Predictably she turned her face away, her eyebrows drawn down in disgust. Rhett chuckled and sucked his fingers into his mouth, "delicious," he whispered into Scarlett's ear before drawing her earlobe into his mouth.

Scarlett shuddered against him and squeezed him a bit too hard.

Rhett smiled and bent to pick her up. She squealed in surprise and put her arms around his neck.

Rhett strode swiftly to the bed and dropped her unceremoniously onto it.

Then he climbed on top of her and slowly, so slowly Scarlett wanted to scream, slid his member into her. When he was buried to the hilt in her soft, wet, heat he paused. Scarlett wrapped her legs around his back and they stared into one another's eyes for a moment before Rhett began to thrust fast and hard.

When Rhett awoke Christmas Eve morning, Scarlett's naked body was draped over his chest and her hair was wrapped around his neck. After the first time he'd taken her he'd made her sit up in bed naked and remove all of her hair pins. He'd used one hand to alternate between teasing her nipples and himself and held the other out for Scarlett to drop the pins into. Then he'd tossed all the pins carelessly onto the floor and taken his wife again. His heart began to pound. He was still in her bed. This was dangerous. He could not get sucked back into this woman's trap.

Rhett shifted and rolled Scarlett off of him.

"Rhett?" she asked sleepily.

"Go back to sleep," Rhett told her and then looking around realized his dressing gown wasn't in the room. He didn't want to wear yesterdays rumpled clothes, but he also couldn't walk down the hall naked with three children and half a dozen servants liable to be anywhere. Rhett sighed and donned his pants and shirt from yesterday. Then leaving the rest of the discarded clothing on the floor he returned to his own room to bathe and dress for the day.

§§§ - Wednesday, December 24, 1873

The morning was bright and clear, contrasting sharply with the dreary expressions on the faces of the children, Rhett, and Scarlett as they climbed down from the carriage. Mammy and Prissy walked behind the group holding armfuls of flowers as they traversed the newly renamed Oakland Cemetery to Bonnie's grave. Scarlett held Beau's hand and Rhett held Ella's. Wade walked on Scarlett's other side with his eyes downcast.

All too soon Rhett's eyes alighted on the gravestone.

Bonnie Blue Butler

Beloved

Born into life on April 9, 1869

Born into eternity on June 12, 1873

_Let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27_

The group stood in silence for a moment with bowed heads until Scarlett said, "get flowers to give your sister from Mammy, darlings."

Ella placed her flowers at the base of the headstone first and whispered, "I miss you, Bonnie."

When Ella stepped back to Rhett, he bent and scooped her into his arms. Beau and Wade each placed their flowers and then Scarlett stepped forward.

Scarlett traced her fingers over Bonnie's name and then placed her hand on the stone and whispered the Catholic graveside prayer she'd heard her mother pray over the graves of her baby brothers, "O God, by whose mercy the faithful departed find rest, send your holy angel to watch over this grave, through Christ our lord. Amen."

Rhett continued to hold Ella as he stepped forward and squatted to place flowers on Bonnie's grave. Then he stood and held Ella tightly to him while he placed his other hand on top of the stone. Rhett bowed his head and everyone stood in silence.

Rhett's mind raced as he stood there. He wanted to silently tell his daughter that her mother and brother and sister were well, but he could not make his mind form the lie to his baby girl. Rhett remembered Bonnie calling for Scarlett while they had been away and felt ashamed. Bonnie would want Rhett to care for Scarlett and Wade and Ella and he knew somehow she would be disappointed in him.

When Rhett looked up, tears silently rolled down Scarlett's cheeks. He stepped to her and extended his elbow. Scarlett looped her hand into it and as Rhett started to move she whispered, "Merry Christmas, Bonnie baby."

Rhett nodded and echoed, "Merry Christmas, Bonnie."

As the family started away Mammy knelt at Bonnie's grave, laid her own flowers down and whispered a prayer.

Rhett led Scarlett and the children to Melly's grave. Beau fell to his knees and wept as they each laid flowers for Melly. Scarlett knelt beside him and pulled the boy into her arms.

"I want my mama!" Beau cried.

"Shhhh, sweetheart, shhh. I know. I know," Scarlett whispered as she rocked Beau.

Wade sat on the ground next to Scarlett and Beau and put his arm around his mother. Scarlett turned and smiled at her son.

"Darling, would you like to put a flower on your father's grave?" Scarlett nodded to the grave next to Melly's. Scarlett recalled how often Melly had dragged her here to lay flowers on Charles's grave during the war. Scarlett hadn't done it once since. Now, only since losing Bonnie and Melly, could Scarlett understand why the ritual had brought Melly such comfort.

"Ella, baby," Scarlett looked up at her daughter who clung to Rhett, "would you like to go put flowers on your father's grave too, darling?"

Ella nodded and Rhett took flowers from Prissy and started away without a word.

When they reached Frank Kennedy's grave, Rhett set Ella down and handed her some of the flowers.

Ella stepped forward and placed the flowers without saying a word. Rhett also placed flowers on Frank's grave thinking first that he was thankful the old fool had gotten himself killed and then wondering if he might have been happier if Frank had lived a long life.

Scarlett could see Ella and Rhett in the distance and wondered why they were standing at Frank's grave so long.

When Beau was calm enough to walk, Scarlett stood and took the two boys back to the carriage.

"Prissy, when Captain Butler returns, tell him we are in the carriage," Scarlett directed before leading the boys away with Mammy.

When Rhett felt Ella hug his leg, he leaned down and picked her up.

"Daddy, I mean Uncle Rhett," Ella flushed.

"What, honey?" Rhett asked in the voice he used to reserve for Bonnie.

Ella said nothing and laid her head on Rhett's shoulder.

"What is it, honey?" Rhett repeated soothing his hand down Ella's back.

"Aren't you my father?"

Ice pooled in Rhett's belly at the girl's words.

"I'm your stepfather."

"Isn't it the same?"

"Not exactly," Rhett drawled, shifting Ella in his arms to stall. "I love you the same, and you love me the same. That is the same. What is not the same is that your father was married to your mother when you were born, so you are his daughter. I married your mother after you were born so you are my stepdaughter."

"Oh," Ella said. Rhett had no idea if she understood his point and part of him did not want her to. Rhett recalled the hours he'd driven through the woods while Scarlett was with Ella wishing Scarlett's baby was his. Then he remembered Scarlett storming into their hotel room when she discovered he'd gotten her with Bonnie threatening to get rid of his precious baby.

"May we go?" Ella's voice broke into Rhett's memories.

"Of course, sweetheart," Rhett answered as he turned and strode swiftly away.

§

Shortly after they returned from the cemetery, Scarlett was curled up on the bed in her dressing gown when Rhett came in.

"Aren't you coming to dinner? The children are waiting."

As Rhett approached, he noticed Scarlett was shaking.

"I can't," Scarlett whispered hoarsely.

Rhett peered down at her. Her hands were covering her face but he could see she was crying. Rhett pulled the bell pull and then went to the door.

When the door opened, Scarlett could not hear Rhett's hushed conversation with Lou. Moments later even though he was fully dressed Rhett got into the bed behind Scarlett and pulled Scarlett's body back into his. Scarlett moved one of her hands from her face to rest on top of the arm Rhett had slung over her belly, lacing her fingers with his.

"Shhhhh, shhhhh," Rhett soothed squeezing Scarlett's fingers and sliding his other arm under her neck.

"I miss her, Rhett. I want my baby," Scarlett sobbed.

"Shhhhh, I know, honey. I miss her too," Rhett said and tilted his face so none of his tears would run onto Scarlett.

§§§

Christmas Eve supper went much more smoothly than Scarlett anticipated. Rhett was perfectly gracious and everyone had been kind and as cheerful as possible. Scarlett felt oddly refreshed after weeping in Rhett's arms and she felt better able to act as if she were happy for the children.

When the group retired into the parlor the children were each allowed to open one gift. Then the group trouped upstairs to the empty ballroom and sang carols while Scarlett played the piano.

It was well after ten pm when the Wilkes and Hamiltons left taking Beau with them. Scarlett was torn between sadness and relief none of them had chosen to stay. She thought tomorrow morning the absence of Bonnie would be heart rending, and their presence might distract her from that, but it would also remind her of the absence of Melly.

Before leaving India pulled Scarlett aside. "I left a gift for you under the tree. It's from Melly."

"But…"

"Well, it was her idea, and I … I just helped it along. You'll see. Open it tomorrow."

"Thank you, India," Scarlett said and the two embraced.

Rhett watched the exchange suspiciously. Was India up to something? He couldn't deny that India had been civil, if not outright kind, the entire evening, but Rhett could not forget the way India had spread rumors about Scarlett and Ashley. He did not like India Wilkes and he did not trust her.

After kissing Wade goodnight and sending him to his room, Rhett and Scarlett tucked Ella in in the nursery. At Scarlett's door Rhett kissed her on the cheek and said, "goodnight," before turning to go to his own room. He would not visit Scarlett tonight. He was in danger of being pulled into her web and needed to distance himself. As he closed his bedroom door behind himself he smiled. The look of disappointment on Scarlett's face pleased him immensely.

Scarlett wept alone in her bed and slept little that night. She felt as if she'd lost Melly, Bonnie and Rhett again when Rhett had walked away from her that night.

§§§ - Thursday, December 25, 1873

Wade and Ella both loved their Christmas presents. Rhett got Wade an entire set of encyclopedias and Scarlett had given him a pocket watch. Rhett gave Ella a new tea set and some children's books and Scarlett gave her several dresses for Molly. Rhett gave the children a large puzzle to share and Santa Claus brought the children a toy train and tracks and several games and books.

Scarlett gave Rhett a new hat and gloves and a bottle of the fine whiskey that was his favorite.

Rhett had agonized over a gift for Scarlett. He knew he could not give Scarlett nothing in front of the children and the servants would surely hear of it and spread rumors if he snubbed her, but Rhett did not want to give Scarlett something she could mistake for a token of his affection. He'd ordered some fine silks for her but upon arriving in Atlanta and remembering she was in mourning for Bonnie thought they might be in bad taste. So Rhett had relented and bought Scarlett a necklace. The chain was fine and long enough Scarlett could conceal it under her mourning the simple gold pendant was engraved "Bonnie Blue 4/9/1869."

"It's lovely, Rhett," Scarlett whispered in a choked voice when she opened it. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it, my pet."

Wade looked between his mother and stepfather. There didn't seem to be any animosity between them, but Wade felt tension, so he decided to change the subject.

"Mother, you haven't opened the gift from Aunt India," Wade pointed out.

"Oh! Open it!" Ella cried.

Scarlett reached for the package and untied the ribbon then opened the box and lifted out the note. Tears began to drip down Scarlett's cheeks as she read the note and hugged the quilt to herself. It was so lovely and so like Melly. It felt like a hug from her friend from the grave.

"What does the card say, Scarlett?" Rhett asked in the kindest voice she had heard him use with her in ages.

Scarlett couldn't speak. She shook her head and handed the card to Rhett.

Rhett read:

_Dear Scarlett, _

_Merry Christmas from Melly. Melly wanted to make you a quilt of Bonnie's dresses but had been unable to obtain them without you knowing before she fell ill. We discussed it at the time so when I helped you pack away Bonnie's things I removed all of the dresses that were to be donated. I had to take them to a Yankee quiltmaker knowing if the Atlanta ladies worked on the pieces word would get back to you and ruin the surprise. _

_Merry Christmas, _

_India_

As Rhett read it aloud Ella began to sob and crawled into Scarlett's lap.

Rhett crumpled India's note in his fist when he finished reading.

Wade walked over and sat next to his mother. Scarlett put an arm around him and sat embracing both her children as Ella cried herself out.

As Scarlett held a crying Ella against her chest she couldn't decide if this Christmas, or the Christmas they'd been starving at Tara and the commissary arrived and ate their food was the worst. She wasn't starving now, but she realized as she tried to soothe her sobbing child she felt no more secure now than she did then. She wouldn't starve, and neither would her children, but she felt just as alone and just as responsible for everyone as she had that bleak winter at Tara.

"I want Bonnie and Aunt Melly to come back!" Ella cried into Scarlett's neck.

"I do too, baby, but they can't," Scarlett whispered her voice thick with tears.

"But Uncle Rhett did," Ella cried and Rhett's spine stiffened.

"I know, baby, but they can't, it's different."

"How!" Ella cried, "how is it different! You said Uncle Rhett might not come back and he did, he did, so I want Bonnie and Aunt Melly to come back too! I don't want a quilt of Bonnie's dresses, I want Bonnie!"

As Rhett sat and watched he realized just how much he'd hurt the children while attempting to free himself of their mother. He was the only father either had ever known and he left them for months without writing when they'd lost their sister and their favorite Aunt and the woman who mothered them more than their own mother had. Rhett silently vowed to regularly write to the children he'd always thought of as his when he left in January.

§§§

A subdued Butler family met a subdued Wilkes/Hamilton family a few hours later at Melly's favorite church for a Christmas service and caroling. There were games and prizes for the children and Wade, Ella and Beau participated but Scarlett could see they lacked the easy free joy and playfulness of the other children.

Rhett, Scarlett, Ashley, India, and Pitty sat at a table with Mrs. Merriwether, Grandpa Merriwhether, and Dr. and Mrs. Meade. People kept coming by to give Rhett, Scarlett and Ashley condolences and inquire how they were handling their first Christmas after such horrible losses. Most of Atlanta society was at the event and Scarlett was grateful Rhett was with her and treated her well in front of everyone. She hoped it would dispel the rumors he had left her, even if the rumors were true.

After Fanny Welburn walked away stiffly, Scarlett turned to Rhett and asked, "Please, Rhett, please take me home." Fanny had been cold to Scarlett since the night her husband, Tommy, and Frank Kennedy had been killed. Fanny hadn't remarried and clearly believed Scarlett was responsible for her widowhood. Scarlett idly wondered if she could convince Ashley to marry Fanny as Rhett walked away to have the carriage brought around. That would solve several of Scarlett's problems.

When Rhett returned with all three children in tow, they began to make their goodbyes.

"Aren't I coming, too, Auntie Scarlett?" Beau asked clutching Scarlett's hand.

Scarlett looked over at Ashley who nodded as Scarlett answered, "Why of course, darling, we need you to help Ella and Wade play with their new toys. Uncle Rhett brought them a large puzzle the three of you can start tonight."

"Good," Beau smiled and hugged his Aunt's legs briefly before following Wade and Ella around the table to kiss everyone goodbye.

After supper, Rhett had the servants clear one end of the dining room table.

"We'll set up the puzzle here," he declared. "We can all fit to dine at the other end."

Scarlett swallowed her protest and said, "That's a fine idea, Rhett. Wade, why don't you go get the puzzle from the parlor."

The five of them spent a pleasant evening working on the puzzle together. Surprisingly Ella had an eye for putting pieces together and started her own portion assisted by Rhett as Scarlett helped the boys piece together the long borders.

Rhett was quite pleased, he had several puzzles of famous pieces of art he'd ordered to complete with Bonnie at his mother's house. He would have to stop and pick them up in January.

§§§

A few hours later Rhett was just finding a good rhythm as he thrust into Scarlett when Beau's scream rang through the house.

"MAMA! Mama!"

Scarlett extricated herself from Rhett and leaped from the bed with a speed and strength that shocked him. She threw on her dressing gown and was tying it tightly around her as she raced into the hall.

Through the door Scarlett left open Rhett heard her tell Mammy, "I've got it Mammy, go back to bed."

Rhett waited for his erection to deflate and then donned his own dressing gown and followed Scarlett to the nursery.

Rhett paused at the nursery door. If Ella had been awaked by Beau's screams for Melly, she was already back to sleep. Scarlett sat on the rocking chair Rhett had so often sat in with Bonnie, with Beau on her lap, his head resting on his aunt's shoulder.

"Shhhhh, shhh, Beau, I've got you, shhhhhhh, you are safe, shhhh," Scarlett repeated over and over her hand stroking down her nephew's back.

"I miss my mama," Beau sniffled.

"I miss her too," Scarlett whispered. Rhett cocked his head to hear better.

"I had a bad dream," Beau added.

"I know, Beau. It's all right," Scarlett soothed.

"Mama could make the dreams go away."

"I know, darling, I know."

"How do you know?" Beau whispered curiously. Rhett inched closer to the open door, afraid to be seen, but wanting to hear Scarlett's answer clearly.

"When you were a baby during the war and we were at Tara… it was a very frightening time, Beau, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to feed everyone and keep us all alive, and I had very bad dreams and your mother could always soothe them."

They rocked in silence for a moment and Rhett was turning to go when Beau asked, "Auntie? Tell me the story of when the Yankees came and you hid things in my diaper."

Rhett put a hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh.

"Well, Mrs. Tarleton had ridden like the wind to warn us they were coming and we were trying to hide all of our food and valuables in the swamp so the Yankees wouldn't take them and I was holding all of our money in one hand and you in the other and I realized, the Yankees weren't going to change your diaper, were they?" Beau giggled. "So, I turned you over and shoved it all into your diaper. You cried and cried. And you saved all the money we had."

Rhett smiled softly, he'd never heard that story before.

"That's when you saved Uncle Charles's sword for Wade?"

"Mmmmm hum," Scarlett answered.

"Auntie Scarlett? Will you tell me the story of when I was born?"

"Of course, darling," Scarlett answered. "It was a terribly, terribly hot day, you know how hot it can be around your birthday, and the Yankees were coming, there had been cannonballs landing in Atlanta for days. I was so afraid and …" Rhett turned and headed back to his own room. He knew this story and he didn't want to hear Scarlett tell Beau how he'd left them on the road to Tara.

Beau finally fell back to sleep about twenty minutes later and after tucking him back into the bed that had become his, Scarlett kissed Ella's forehead and left closing the nursery door softly. When Scarlett approached her room she saw that her door was ajar and Rhett was gone. She glanced down the hall, Rhett and Wade's doors were both closed. Should she go to Rhett? Scarlett had been disappointed to leave their relations. She'd been hoping they would resume upon her return, but clearly Rhett didn't feel the same. Was he angry she'd left before he'd finished? She couldn't just let Beau scream.

Scarlett took a step towards Rhett's door. Then she shook her head and turned and went back into her own room and closed the door behind her.

§§§ - Friday, December 26, 1873

The 26th of December was a cold and dreary day full of intermittent drizzle. When Scarlett came downstairs dressed and ready she found Rhett and the children seated at the dining room table hunting for all of the puzzle pieces with any bits of yellow in the large pool spread over the table.

She watched for a moment until Rhett turned and asked, "going to the mills, my pet?"

"No, the store," Scarlett smiled and walked into the dining room. Rhett was surprised when she leaned in and kissed his cheek, then she turned and hugged all three children tightly before leaving for the store.

Several hours later Scarlett was bent over her inventory lists trying to tally holiday sales when she heard the commotion of Rhett and three children entering the store.

"Come, my pet," Rhett said taking Scarlett's arm and lifting her from her seat. "You missed dinner and the children have agreed we'll begin Alice's Adventures in Wonderland tonight and we came for some popping corn. And you, of course."

Scarlett smiled and flushed as Rhett pulled her against him but before he could lower his lips to hers, Wade burst into the small office asking, "Mother, may we have penny candies too?"

Rhett didn't release Scarlett and catching sight of how his stepfather was holding his mother to him and the pink of her cheeks, Wade flushed with embarrassment. "Excuse me," he said quickly before turning and fleeing the office.

After Wade disappeared from view Rhett pulled Scarlett into his chest and kissed her passionately until she was squirming and panting against him. Then he released her mouth and licked the whorls of her ear before whispering, "later."

Then Rhett released Scarlett and turned out of the office saying loudly, "Wade, get a large bag of penny candy. I've got quite an appetite tonight."

Scarlett pressed a hand to the tingling in her belly.

§

Beau stayed at the Butler's Friday night and Saturday night. The five alternated between working on the puzzle and taking turns reading Lewis Carroll's wonderland books out loud.

Both nights Rhett followed Scarlett into her room. Neither noticed Wade's door was slightly ajar. Both nights Wade waited to make sure his stepfather was following his mother into her room before closing his own door. Wade was frustrated and angry with his Uncle Rhett. Uncle Rhett was taking relations from his mother, as was his right Wade understood, but he wasn't protecting her and caring for her in return as he was obligated to do. Each night Wade's faith in the man he'd known and admired his whole life eroded. Uncle Rhett was still going to leave his mother, and she would be heartbroken again. Uncle Rhett shouldn't take mother's end of the bargain without fulfilling his obligations.

Sunday when Rhett awoke Scarlett was again draped across his chest breathing softly. Rhett ran his fingers through her hair and thought he should leave. He was worried about how much he wanted Scarlett. In the almost two weeks he'd been in Atlanta he hadn't heard her scream or throw any sort of tantrum. He'd been worried her passion had been smothered, but when he took her he could feel it brewing below the surface, waiting to be awakened. There were moments like this when he was surrounded by her skin he thought perhaps their marriage could work. Maybe she even loved him the way he loved her, but that thought always made him unreasonably angry. He was still so angry with her for rejecting him for years. Part of him wanted to make her pay, to humiliate her the way she'd humiliated him for years.

Rhett traced his fingers from her hair down her arm and to her breast. He was throbbing against her leg and he pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and began to roll it. When Scarlett jerked awake he pulled her on top of him then reached between their bodies to position himself at her entrance. She wasn't wet enough and he groaned as he pushed his way inside her slowly. Scarlett shuddered when he moved his hands from her hips to pinch both of her nipples. When he felt her begin to relax around him, he moved his hands back to her hips and lifted her and then slammed back into her.

"Ungh, Rhett," Scarlett groaned. Rhett pistoned inside her a few more times before stilling and sitting up. Holding Scarlett onto him he slid back until he was leaning against the headboard. Once settled he released Scarlett's back and commanded, "Ride."

Scarlett leaned forward to kiss him as she began to move herself up and down on him. Rhett brought his hands to her breasts and cupped and squeezed them, sometimes squeezing or tweaking her nipples, sometimes massaging her whole breasts in his hands.

He let Scarlett ride him at her pace for a while until his need was too great. Though he had taken her in this position a few times now, she still wasn't able to get the rhythm Rhett needed to finish. Rhett tore his mouth from hers and grabbing her hips lifted her and then pulled her back down as he thrust up. It only took five or six more thrusts before he felt himself jerk inside her. He lifted her again and slammed her down one more time letting her body milk every last drop from him.

When Rhett stilled, Scarlett's knees were still tightly clenched to his sides. Rhett put his fingers between their thighs to try to pry her loose but she slid forward so his fingers trailed up her thigh. Rhett understood, she hadn't finished and she wanted to.

Leaving himself buried inside her Rhett traced his fingers up her thighs to her bundle of nerves. He flicked it casually with his thumb and Scarlett shuddered against him.

Rhett lifted her off of him, feeling his seed leaking out of her onto his thigh as he moved her to the bed next to him.

"Rhett?" She asked as Rhett pulled them both back to laying and then began to kiss down her body.

"Shhhh," he replied and then drew her right nipple into his mouth.

Rhett twirled his tongue around the bud and sucked it deeply into his mouth as Scarlett moaned beneath him.

Rhett kissed his way farther down her body and then drew her bud of nerves into his mouth.

"Oh!" Scarlett gasped and sat up, "what are you doing?"

Rhett lifted his head, "I'm taking my pleasure from my wife however I want it, Scarlett. Lie down."

Scarlett did, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

Rhett positioned himself between her legs and then licked and sucked her until she shook beneath him and cried out.

"Oh! Rhett! Oh! Oh my! Rhett!"

When Rhett released her bundle of nerves from his lips and looked up, Scarlett was looking down at him an expression of confusion and wonder on her face.

Rhett crawled up her body and kissed her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth so she could taste herself on him.

When he pulled away he said, "You'd best get up and get ready, my pet, it's Sunday, is it not? Aren't we having guests for supper?"

Scarlett blinked at Rhett slack jawed as he got up and pulled on his dressing gown.

* * *

_Author's Note: __Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Special thanks to: _Gabyhyatt, _EmmaElizaRose, Sarsel, Livisa, Alizahsadik, __Francis-rose, Sprout76, __romabeachgirl, __MissTricey, __Nuala Lady of the Lake, Conlyn70, T__rukee Gal, JointheFray, Sarah,Shilo, __and guests 1 and 2 for your wonderful and insightful reviews! I cannot express how much I appreciate your reviews and PMs._

_A note about mourning - despite extensive research I've found conflicting information about mourning a parent or child. Some sources say a woman mourns the death of her parent or child for six months, some for one year, one says six months to a year, and one says six months for a parent and as long as a parent feels is appropriate for a child. Since I'm not certain what the actual rules for morning a child were and my sense is unlike husbands and siblings it probably varied, in this story Scarlett is in deep mourning (no going out, no social events, wearing all black, you know, mourning) for Bonnie for six months and then in light mourning (slowly returning to the world, wearing some appropriate color including lilac, lavender, violet, mauve, and gray) for the next six months for total of a year of mourning. Side note, all sources agree you mourn a sibling (Melly) for six months. _


	6. Ball, Sunday, December 28, 1873

_Disclaimer: The people and plot lines you recognize belong to the amazing Margaret Mitchell. (Sadly, not to me.)_

* * *

In order to save the puzzle from being moved, the children ate in the kitchen and the six adults had Sunday supper at the dining room table.

"Are you and Captain Butler going to the New Year's Ball, Scarlett?" India asked.

"Oh," Scarlett started with a nervous glance at Rhett, "I hadn't…"

"What ball?" Rhett asked.

"A silly ball the Widows and Orphans society is having. They want to see if it's a viable way to have an annual fundraiser," Ashley answered. "India is pressuring me to take her," he finished glumly.

"I just think it would be good for you to get out and socialize, that's all," India defended.

Rhett looked at Scarlett's nervous smile, "and you would like to attend, my pet?"

Scarlett nodded, "yes, but I'm in mourning."

"But six months have passed, you can socialize now, Scarlett. And I know everyone would understand," India said.

"True," Scarlett nodded. The rules for mourning a child were not as strict for those of mourning a husband, but Scarlett did not want to flout convention anymore. Besides, Scarlett was in mourning for Melly too. But so is India, Sarlett thought. "I'm just not certain that I…"

"I think you should attend the ball, Scarlett. After all, it is a fundraiser," Aunt Pitty added when Scarlett failed to resume speaking.

Scarlett looked at Rhett.

"Well, then," Rhett smiled, "of course we shall go. India, if Ashley won't escort you, I will," Rhett added. Scarlett bit her lip and frowned. Her husband was offering to take another woman to the ball, right in front of her and her entire family.

"Thank you for the kind offer, Rhett," Ashley said coldly, looking at Scarlett's white face, "But I will, of course, accompany my sister."

"Lovely," Rhett said. "Shall we go as a four? Scarlett and I can pick you up in the carriage on our way."

Scarlett tried to blink away the tears threatening the corners of her eyes.

"Oh, no Captain Butler, thank you," India cut in smoothly, "I think it best my brother and I take our own carriage in the event…I … I would like to leave early."

Everyone at the table knew she meant in the event Ashley became maudlin and needed to be taken home.

"That sounds fine," Rhett nodded to India.

Scarlett looked up at India and shot her a look of gratitude. India smiled tightly at Scarlett. It was clear to India Scarlett was madly in love with Rhett. So much so India marveled she'd ever thought Scarlett could have been in love with Ashley. It was also clear to India that Rhett Butler was a scoundrel and a cad. Without acknowledging she'd done the same thing for years, India seethed at the way he'd just casually humiliated his wife. The way Rhett smiled over at Scarlett made India wonder if he'd done it on purpose too. India couldn't understand why Scarlett loved this man and Melly had thought he was such a wonderful gentleman. India thought he was a selfish blackguard and she privately thought Scarlett might be better off if he did leave her. Beau certainly would be. If Rhett left Scarlett India was sure she could convince Ashley to marry Scarlett. Then both Beau and Ashley would be well taken care of.

Beau returned to the Hamilton house that night, but not before extracting promises from Scarlett, Wade, Ella, and Rhett that they would not work on the puzzle without him.

§§§

Scarlett awoke when Rhett pulled her into a sitting position and crushed her against his chest.

"Rhett?"

"Shhh, shhhh, you were having a nightmare."

Rhett leaned back against the headboard and shifted Scarlett so she was sitting across his lap. Scarlett pressed her face into his neck and Rhett could feel the wetness on her cheeks. Neither said anything for a time as Scarlett's breathing returned to even and Rhett stroked his fingers through her hair and down her back.

"Was it the mist?"

"No."

"What was it then?"

"Rhett…I…I don't want to talk about it."

Rhett frowned, "You were screaming for me."

Scarlett nodded into his neck but said nothing else. Rhett felt almost insatiably curious. He suspected his wife had been dreaming about him. When she had her running through the mist nightmares early in their marriage she just screamed sounds, not anyone's name. Rhett wanted to know how he figured into her dreams. Perhaps he could kill two birds with one stone.

"Come, let's go have a nightcap," Rhett said soothingly as he shifted them to the edge of the bed and let his feet drop to the floor.

Scarlett crawled off of Rhett's lap and sat on the edge of the bed as Rhett stood.

"Come," he said, extending his hand to her.

"I don't want a nightcap, Rhett."

"Come along, it will make you feel better."

Rhett led his silent wife down the stairs and into the dining room. Once he'd seated her in a chair at the table, Rhett went to the sideboard.

"There's no brandy," Rhett said perplexed. Was it all in Scarlett's room? He hadn't seen her drink a drop other than a single glass of wine with supper.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I had Mammy remove it."

"Whatever for?"

"I didn't want it here," Scarlett replied cryptically, "but nothing else has been removed, your whiskey is here."

"Scarlett. Why did you have Mammy remove the brandy?" Rhett demanded turning to look at her.

Scarlett didn't answer. Rhett poured them each two fingers of whiskey and brought the glasses to the table. Rhett placed the glasses down and sat next to Scarlett instead of at his usual place. Scarlett stared at the glass of whiskey without touching it.

Rhett tried a different tactic. He knew she wasn't abstaining from all alcohol, he'd seen her drink wine at Sunday suppers and on Christmas and Christmas Eve supper. "Have the whiskey, Scarlett, it will settle your nerves."

"No thank you."

"Scarlett, I've seen you drink wine so I know you still drink. Why are you being so obstinate?"

"I don't want whiskey."

"Would you like something else, there is rum, gin, bourbon, and vodka."

"No, I don't want any spirits, thank you."

"Why no spirits but wine is acceptable. Would you like some wine?"

"No thank you."

"Why no spirits, Scarlett? I don't seem to recall you having any trouble with brandy before?"

"Ladies don't drink spirits."

Rhett snorted, "and you think you are a lady?"

"I'm trying, Rhett. I'm trying."

Scarlett started to scoot her chair away from the table but stopped. Turning to Rhett she asked, "would you like company while you finish your nightcap?"

Rhett studied his wife. Scarlett looked exhausted and sad, but not angry. Before if he'd made a remark about Scarlett not being a lady she would have flown into a temper. Now her lips and eyes were pinched, but no tantrum was on the horizon.

"I'd welcome your company, my dear, but you look tired. Why don't you go back to bed."

"Will you return?"

"To bed?"

"Yes, Rhett, to…"

Rhett understood what she couldn't ask. He picked up her hand and kissed it, then he turned it over and kissed her palm. Scarlett sighed.

"Go back to bed. I'll be with you soon."

Scarlett nodded and Rhett stood to pull out her chair. She squeezed his arm as she walked past and left.

Rhett sat and nursed his whiskey and thought about Scarlett. She had given up drinking. At least, she'd given up her daily brandy. Rhett tried to recall if she had any of her glasses of supper wine refilled. He didn't think so, but hadn't been paying attention.

Rhett wondered what her dream had been about. She'd had a nightmare about him. About him leaving? Something else? Scarlett was a mystery these days. She was calm and loved her children and watched over Beau and Ashley and had no longing for Ashley. He'd been home for over a week and she hadn't screamed once. She was being a lady. Rhett frowned.

When Rhett returned to Scarlett's bed a short time later she was already asleep. Rhett slid under the sheet and pulled Scarlett to him so he was spooned against her back. As Rhett settled against her, Scarlett whispered, "Rhett?"

"Yes?"

Pulling Rhett's arm close around her midsection, Scarlett made no reply.

§§§ - Wednesday, December 31, 1873

Beau spent four nights at the Hamilton house but India brought him to the Butler house Wednesday after dinner for the New Year's Eve slumber party Scarlett invented. Scarlett knew Ashley would have a bad night of missing Melly and wanted Beau over at her house when Ashley returned from the ball.

The three children were going to stay up until midnight eating popcorn and cookies and playing games and then sleep in the parlor. Part of Scarlett thought it was ridiculously silly, but the children were all excited about it and Wade and Ella had been bringing cards and dice and games to the parlor all day for their celebration later.

During the same three nights more of Rhett's clothing had migrated its way into Scarlett's room. Mammy had clearly directed Lou to place any and all of Rhett's discarded clothing back into the master bedroom closet as every day more if it was there and Rhett's cravats and drawers were slowly returning to his abandoned dresser next to Scarlett's. Each night when they retired Rhett's dressing gown and nightclothes were laid out on his side of the bed as Scarlett's were on hers. It was clear to Rhett that the entire household, except for the children, knew where he was sleeping.

As Rhett dressed for the ball in the dressing room of his own bedroom and noticed all of his cufflinks and their dish were gone, presumably situated on the master bedroom vanity, Rhett wondered if this bothered him.

Rhett sauntered into Scarlett's room and found his dish and cufflinks on the vanity, along with several of his stick pins, including the diamond one, in a different dish. He selected his diamond cufflinks and stick pin and retreated to a chair in front of the fire to watch as Lou finished Scarlett's hair. Scarlett looked resplendent in a dove grey watered silk ballgown.

When Lou bowed to Scarlett and left, Rhett rose and approached Scarlett as she reached for her pot of rouge.

"Wait," Rhett's voice stilled her hand. "Do this first," Rhett handed her the cufflinks. Scarlett fastened both cufflinks and adjusted Rhett's cravat and pin. When she finished Rhett put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her forward and kissed her hungrily.

Scarlett's eyes were dilated and her cheeks flushed when Rhett pulled back. Licking his lips he whispered, "You look good enough to eat, my pet." Then he leaned forward and kissed her jaw and drew her earlobe into his mouth. When he released it and whispered, "I am going to devour you later," Scarlett shuddered against him.

Scarlett's eyes widened at the tent in his pants as he stood and returned to the armchair.

§§§

When the bells rang in the new year several hours later Scarlett and Rhett were dancing along with most of Atlanta. They had danced together all night and it was poor form, but Rhett did not care. The only man who was going to dance with Scarlett was him. As the church bells tolled, they stopped and Rhett pecked Scarlett on the lips as couples all over the floor were doing. Then Rhett and Scarlett joined the crowd in singing auld lang syne.

Scarlett smiled as she noticed a tall brown-haired man kiss India's cheek. Scarlett didn't know the man, but she'd noticed him dance with India several times. Scarlett hadn't seen Ashley in a while and wondered if he'd left India alone and went home. When the song ended and Rhett drew Scarlett back into his arms, Scarlett squeezed his bicep and whispered, "may no year ever be as bad as 1873."

When the dancing resumed Rhett asked, "if you had one wish for 1874, my pet, what would it be?" As soon as the words passed his lips Rhett mentally cursed himself. What was he thinking? She was going to ask him to stay and he was going to crush her. But Scarlett shocked him when she answered, "I would wish you never called me that again. I'm not your pet, I'm your wife. And I…I'm a good person, Rhett. I never realized how you didn't mean that as a term of endearment, but as a joke."

Suddenly Scarlett pulled free of his arms and walked away across the dance floor. Rhett was too stunned to move for a moment, but then he cried, "Scarlett!" and chased after her causing several heads to turn. Rhett caught her at the edge of the dance floor and pulled her back into his arms.

"You're making a scene, my…dear," Rhett said and his heart sank as Scarlett squeezed her eyes closed.

"Please, Rhett, I want to go."

"No," Rhett said simply, then he lifted her chin and kissed her briefly on the lips before pulling her back into his arms and resuming the waltz.

"Rhett! Everyone can see!" Scarlett gasped as her face reddened.

"Good," he answered. "It was perfectly all right with everyone to kiss in public to ring in the new year just moments ago, and I'll kiss my wife whenever I want."

Scarlett continued to dance with Rhett until the ball ended at 2:00 a.m. but Rhett could sense her distance. Rhett was surprised by how the distance bothered him since he'd spent so much time since he arrived in Atlanta trying to distance himself from her.

As they danced, Scarlett wondered if Rhett was toying with her. Since he'd come to her bed a few days after his return he'd only spent Christmas Eve and Christmas night after Beau's nightmare in his own room. He'd spent the last five nights in their room in their bed. Scarlett thought about how Rhett went to bed with her every night with no hesitation and took her sometimes he even took her twice and once in the morning. As she thought about how more and more of his belongings migrated back into their room, Scarlett realized she'd begun to hope. She loved Rhett more than she could put into words and falling asleep with his arms around her and his skin against hers had healed her in many ways. In the last few nights she'd begun to hope that he could love her again, that he might return to their room and their bed and Atlanta. But as she remembered him kissing her senseless as she was getting ready and calling her his pet, she realized all along he'd meant that literally. He didn't love her, she was his pet. Scarlett knew how much Wade loved his dog, but if that was the way Rhett cared for her she wouldn't be able to stand it. The loss of the small bubble of hope was almost more than Scarlett could take.

When the ball ended, Scarlett stood in the vestibule with India and the other ladies while Rhett waited for their carriage outside with the other gentlemen.

"Oh, Scarlett," India grasped her arm, "Ashley left hours ago and… I didn't want to…so, ah, would you be so kind as to take me home?"

"Of course!" Scarlett cried, lacing her arm through India's, "but in return you'll have to tell me about the gentleman friend who took almost all of your dances."

India smiled shyly and her cheeks pinkened.

When the carriage pulled up and Scarlett and India walked out Rhett said nothing. He helped India and Scarlett in and then climbed in himself.

Scarlett and India gossiped about India's dancing partner the entire trip back to the Hamilton house. India had been dancing with a lieutenant Michael Jeffries from Kentucky. He moved to Atlanta a few months ago to try to find work as a lawyer. He hadn't married before the war and his home had been destroyed, so he'd moved to Virginia to read law with a judge. Once the judge decided Michael was ready to practice, he'd sat the bar and moved to Atlanta. Rhett stared out the window and tried to not let their chatter irk him.

When Rhett climbed back into the carriage after walking India to the Hamilton door, he put his arm around Scarlett and drew her against him. Rhett was glad Scarlett came willingly, he thought he knew what was wrong, but didn't want to ask in case it was what he suspected.

As they rode home in silence Rhett realized two things, he still thought of the Peachtree mansion as home, and he had barely thought about divorcing Scarlett since he'd begun taking her whenever he wanted. If he was going to hire a servant or two to monitor any drinking in secret he would have to do it soon.

§

When they arrived home, Rhett helped Scarlett out of the carriage and nodded at Pork before leading Scarlett up the stairs to their room. He closed the door behind them and then drew her into his arms kissing her tenderly. Scarlett reached her arms around Rhett's neck and held him close.

They kissed slowly, almost lazily and Rhett began to undo the buttons down Scarlett's back. When the dress was open at the back, Rhett reached into Scarlett's hair and began randomly pulling pins out of the intricate twists and braids of hair. Scarlett offered no help and no resistance until Rhett's fingers couldn't find any more pins but half her hair remained up.

"Scarlett," Rhett whispered moving his mouth to her jaw, "turn around and take the rest of the pins from your hair," he whispered between kisses.

Scarlett released his neck and turned around, Rhett undid the few buttons down her back he'd missed in his blind hunt and then lifted her gown over her head and let it fall to the floor.

"Rhett!" Scarlett cried squatting to pick it up. She turned and shot him a glare as she walked the expensive dress to the sitting area to drape it over the back of a chair.

Rhett chuckled as he followed her. He pulled her back against his front and ran his hands up and down her corset and traced his fingers over the exposed tops of her breasts while kissing the side of her neck. When Scarlett had finally released the last of her hair and they stood surrounded by pins on the floor, Rhett reached one had down between her legs and teased her moist flesh through the slit in her pantalets. He reached his other fingers into her chemise and corset to find a nipple. He pulled a breast free of the corset and tweaked her nipple then went in search of the other one. When Rhett found it the pebbled bud was already erect and waiting for his hungry mouth. Rhett removed his damp fingers from her folds and dampened both of her nipples with them before stepping away and loosening her corset. Scarlett tilted forward and grabbed the chairback for support as he worked. Rhett dropped her corset on the floor and lifted her chemise over her head in two swift motions. Scarlett took a few gasping breaths and stretched her sides before turning and removing Rhett's sick pin and cravat. When she began to undo the buttons down Rhett's waistcoat and shirt Rhett's hands left her nipples and unbuttoned his pants. Soon Rhett stood naked and Scarlett stood panting in her pantalets and stockings.

Rhett picked Scarlett up and seated her on the edge of the bed, then he kneeled in front of her, his erection bobbing as he moved. Rhett leaned forward and licked her through the pantalets slit and Scarlett gasped. Rhett sucked her bud into his mouth and then released her. Biting her pantalets he drew them down her legs with his teeth. Scarlett's folds glistened above him as he drew them off of her. Once he'd removed her pantalets and tossed them onto the floor he kissed back up her leg to the top of her stocking. Rhett kissed and nibbled her flesh before taking the stocking top into his teeth and drawing it down her leg. By the time he'd removed both of her stockings, Scarlett felt like her whole body was on fire and she burned with need for him.

Rhett slowly kissed his way back up one of her legs stopping to suck the flesh of her inner thigh into his mouth. When he released her, he moved his mouth to her other knee, slowly kissing his way to the apex of her thighs sucking her flesh into his mouth as he went. When Rhett reached the top he licked her wet folds from bottom to top with the flat of his tongue and Scarlett gasped, "Rhett, ohhhh, Rhett."

Rhett kissed his way down to her opening and stuck his tongue inside tasting and smelling her arousal, then he liked his way back up to her bud and swirled his tongue around it several times before sucking it into his mouth.

Scarlett's legs trembled and shook around his head as he lapped and sucked and licked her until her juices were dripping down his chin and she screamed, "Oh my god, Rhett!" and clenched her thighs around his head.

Rhett kissed her throbbing bud and stood. He kissed her and he took her hands and drew them together over her head. Scarlett was still shuddering with her release when Rhett shifted both of her hands into one of his and reached down to line himself up with the other. Rhett braced himself as he slowly slid into her clenching channel.

As Rhett began to slowly slide in and out of her Scarlett clamped her legs around his back and he felt her tug at his hands. Rhett didn't release her hands, but grasped them tighter over their heads.

Scarlett lifted her head off the bed and Rhett smiled down at her.

Rhett buried himself to the hilt and asked, "what do you want, Scarlett?"

"Kiss me," Scarlett asked softly.

Rhett leaned his head down and kissed her.

"No," Scarlett whispered against his lips, "lay on me and kiss me. I don't like it when you hold yourself up too high."

Rhett smiled and lowered his chest onto hers. She met his lips half way and kissed him hungrily.

When he began to thrust again, Rhett asked, "is that better?"

"Yes," Scarlett panted.

Rhett thrust into her only a few more times before having the most powerful orgasm of his life. He thought his balls might burst as he jerked and released and spasmed inside Scarlett.

A few moments later as his breathing slowed, Rhett realized his full weight was pressing Scarlett into the mattress. He'd released her hands and her arms and legs were clasped around him. When he tried to roll off of her, Scarlett didn't release him.

"Let go, I'm crushing you."

"No, you're not."

Rhett could feel Scarlett's heart bounding against his chest.

"Scarlett, let go, I can't sleep with my legs hanging of the bed like this."

"If I do, will you lay on me?"

Rhett paused wondering what this was about and how dangerous agreeing might be. "Yes," he agreed when he realized she had every intention of holding him onto her until she fell asleep.

"Thank you," Scarlett whispered. Then she kissed the side of Rhett's head and released him.

Rhett stood and stretched his cramped legs, as Scarlett scooted up to lay on her pillow. Rhett crawled over her and then laid down with his head pillowed on Scarlett's chest, his arm flung over her waist, and one leg thrown over hers as she usually did to him. He felt Scarlett put one arm over the one at her waist and pull her other arm around him and begin to run her fingers through his hair. As Rhett listened to Scarlett's heartbeat and breathing slow and felt her running her fingers through his hair over and over Rhett wondered if his wife did in fact love him.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of the reviews and PMs! I love hearing what you think! Special thanks to: Sprout76, EmmaElizaRose, Livisa, Wiolka, gabyhyatt, Trukee Gal, Nuala Lady of the Lake, MissTricey, Alizahsadik, Harvardkid08, romabeachgirl, Conlyn70, Francis-rose, Sarah,Shilo, and guest 1_


	7. Wade, Saturday, January 3, 1874

_Disclaimer_: The amazing characters and situations you recognize here do not belong to me. They are the creation of Margaret Mitchell.

* * *

Rhett had grown irritated at Wade's coolness and decided they should spend time together away from Scarlett so he decided to take Wade to a horse farm about two hours north of the city to select a gelding for his birthday.

Pork entered the dining room where the family was breakfasting Saturday morning and told Rhett the carriage was ready.

"Thank you, Pork. Wade, let's go," Rhett said before downing the last of his coffee and rising from the table.

Wade kissed his mother's cheek and stood and left the room.

"Where are you going?" Scarlett asked as Rhett assisted her out of her chair.

Rhett told Scarlett what he was doing and where he was taking Wade as they walked into the hall. Scarlett gripped his arm as she turned white and trembled.

"Rhett…" Scarlett started and found she could not find any other words.

Rhett knew exactly why she was afraid to let her son have his own horse. He did. But horses were a fact of life and Wade needed to be a proficient horseman. Rhett would select a fine horse for him and he was only taking Wade along to try to suss out what the boy's reticence with him was.

"Wade, son," Rhett said without turning to look at Wade, "go wait for me in the carriage."

"Mother?" Wade stepped forward and took his mother's other arm.

"Go ahead, darling," Scarlett kissed his cheek and Wade looked between his mother and stepfather before going to the door and waiting just outside it so he could overhear their conversation.

"My dear," Rhett said and Wade could hear the rustle of material. Was Uncle Rhett embracing his mother? Wade didn't want to peek around the corner for fear one of them might spot him, though he desperately wanted to know what was happening between his parents. But when he couldn't hear anything else after a few moments, Wade crouched low and peered into the door. Uncle Rhett was kissing his mother. He had one hand on her face and the other on her back pressing her to him. His mother had her arms wrapped tightly around Uncle Rhett's waist.

Rhett pulled his lips from Scarlett's and kissed the tear that ran down one cheek.

"Honey," Rhett said softly, "don't you know I will protect Wade? That's why I want to select a horse for him. He is old enough, more than old enough to have his own and I want to make certain he has a good horse that won't throw him."

"I know," Scarlett whispered, "I just … I…"

"I know, Scarlett, I do. But what happened to Bonnie won't happen to Wade. I'll make sure of it."

"You can't."

"No?"

"It happened to my father, too."

Rhett had forgotten that. "I know, my dear, but you and Wade have both been on horses since then. Didn't you go riding at Tara?"

"Yes."

Rhett pulled Scarlett tightly into his chest and put his arms around her.

"I know it's frightening, but horses are a fact of life. How else do you expect Wade to get around?"

"I know."

"Now, you have a lovely day with Ella and Beau and don't fret."

Rhett leaned down to kiss Scarlett once more and Wade scrambled away to the carriage his heart pounding.

§

Once Pork had closed the carriage door behind Rhett and they started off, Wade looked up and asked, "Is mother upset?"

"No, she'll be all right." Rhett answered and then he waited to see if Wade would say anything else. Wade didn't and the two rode in a mildly uncomfortable silence for more than a quarter of an hour before Rhett asked, "Why did your mother move you out of the nursery, Wade?"

Wade clenched his jaw. Before he'd overheard his mother and Uncle Rhett talking about relations soon after Rhett came home Wade had been desperate to talk to Uncle Rhett about his dreams and embarrassing erections. But now, now Uncle Rhett was taking relations from his mother without caring for her, without protecting her and Wade didn't trust the man he'd spent most of his life idolizing. How could he answer this question without revealing why?

"Because I am becoming a man, sir," Wade answered carefully.

Rhett looked the boy over. He would turn twelve on Friday, that was a far cry from manhood, so why …oh, Rhett smirked as he realized why.

"Ah, you are becoming hard and sometimes releasing seed in your sleep. You are becoming a man then."

Wade said nothing.

They rode in silence for a few minutes. Rhett wondered if this was why the boy had been so distant and resentful. He was developing a man's body and a man's appetites and may have missed having the man of the house there to ask questions.

Rhett observed the boy's ramrod straight back and squared jaw, and smiled to himself as he thought about how much Scarlett's son resembled her at times. Rhett knew Wade looked like Charles Hamilton in miniature even though he'd only met Charles once on that clear April day just before the war, the day he'd met Scarlett. Wade was much more fair than Scarlett and had Charles' and Melly's soft brown eyes, but Rhett could see Scarlett in the way the boy held himself and the way he readied himself for a war of words. Rhett wondered why Wade seemed hostile about this topic. Rhett knew it was embarrassing for children to discuss, but he also knew children had a lot of questions. Rhett idly wondered if something happened or if Wade had some disastrous conversation with Scarlett about relations.

"Wade," Rhett began soothingly, "when I was becoming a man I had a lot of questions and I didn't have the sort of father I could discuss these matters with. I hope you know you can discuss becoming a man and relations and any questions you may have with me."

Wade said nothing.

"Do you have any questions?" Rhett prompted.

"When are you leaving, Uncle Rhett?"

"Sunday."

"Tomorrow!" Wade cried his face becoming hard.

"No, one week from tomorrow. After your birthday."

Wade turned and looked out the window.

"When will you come back?"

"I don't know."

"Will you come back?"

"Yes." Rhett clenched his jaw.

After a moment Rhett continued, "I don't know what your mother has told you, but …"

"She hasn't told me anything!" Wade bellowed as he turned to face his stepfather. Rhett was so stunned by the outburst he stopped talking.

"Ella cried and asked her for you over and over and over after you left, and Mother kept telling us that you loved us and you wouldn't leave us and you would come back. But after a while, she said she hoped you came back, and then she didn't know if you were coming back. One day I asked her if Ella could write you a letter, I thought it might make her feel better but mother told me she couldn't because she didn't know where you were and had no way to send it to you. You hurt my mother. She was afraid. You were supposed to protect her!"

"You don't think I protect your mother?! I have provided her with everything she could possibly want or need!" Rhett was angry now too.

"She needed you!" Wade shouted, "You weren't there when she was crying for you. At Tara she would cry out in the night for you and Mammy would go and comfort her the way Mother comforts Beau. She screamed for you, but you don't care. You never wrote. She didn't even know if you were coming back."

Wade's face was flushed and he voice shook with his rage.

"And you needed me too and I wasn't there for you either," Rhett said soothingly, trying to diffuse his stepson's anger.

"I don't need you," Wade spat.

"Wade—"

"And I wish my mother didn't either."

Rhett clenched his jaw and balled his hands into fists in his pockets.

"Wade, you are young and you can't possibly understand everything that has happened."

Wade glared at Rhett.

"I think I do, sir."

"Oh, and what is it you think you understand?" Rhett sneered.

"I understand that you aren't a good husband to my mother. You don't protect her the way a man should. You leave her to the gossips and the—"

"You do not know what you are speaking of," Rhett growled.

Wade's eyes widened and he leaned away, but answered, "Yes I do! I know you never defended her when people talked about her and Uncle Ashley and—"

"The great love of your mother's life?" Rhett laughed.

"She doesn't love him," Wade snorted derisively.

"Not now perhaps." Rhett was surprised as the angry words flew out of his mouth. How was he letting this child bait him this way?

"She never did! Uncle Rhett, why would you say such a thing? You see them together all the time, you know, you know they are friends, but she doesn't love him, not like that, we are family."

"Family?"

"Yes. Uncle Ashley is my uncle and my mother's friend. He's not the one who is supposed to protect her. You are. You married her, you are obligated to protect her and you don't! You don't care for her and you don't protect her!"

"So, what exactly is it you think your mother is obligated to do?"

"She's obligated to run the home and to…to give you relations and children…" Wade's voice trailed off.

"Then you understand that wives are obligated to have relations with their husbands and are you aware your mother turned me away for years, Wade."

"But you have relations with her now, don't you?"

"She's my wife, Wade and—"

"But you are still leaving?"

"Yes."

"But if she's giving you what you want, why are you leaving her?" Rhett could hear the small boy he'd loved so much in Wade's question.

"It's complicated, Wade. A lot has happened between your mother and I."

Wade turned his face away.

"Wade, I've humored you enough. You are still a child and my son and I—"

"I AM NOT YOUR SON!" Wade bellowed half rising from his seat.

Rhett felt his blood beginning to boil. He was tired of being scolded by a child who did not understand anything about the relations between a husband and wife or all that had happened between him and Scarlett.

"Wade!" Rhett snapped.

"No!" Wade yelled. "I'm not your son, don't you dare say that. Would you have left Bonnie for months and not written or not told her where you were? No! You never would have. You took her with when you left before, but you left me and Ella. You always leave. What if something happened? You wouldn't have come back for us. Mother didn't know where you were or how to write you. I know you wouldn't treat Bonnie that way, but you treat me that way. So I know I'm not your son."

Rhett felt shamed. He'd seen over the time he'd been in Atlanta that his behavior had hurt his children. But he'd failed to realize that Wade was old enough to really understand it. Ella was still so young, she seemed untroubled by his departure, but if Wade was telling the truth Ella had cried for him and Scarlett hadn't been able to let him know. What if something had happened to one of the children, or Scarlett, no one would have been able to reach him.

"I don't feel much like a horse, Uncle Rhett," Wade whispered into the silence that had fallen after his outburst.

"Wade," Rhett took a deep breath, "I have been married to your mother for half of your life, I cradled you in my arms when you were a baby during the war. You are my son. I am sorry that my actions have made you feel like you aren't."

"Then why," Wade stopped and took a deep breath, then much more calmly he asked, "they why did Bonnie call you daddy but Ella and I don't?"

"Do you want to call me daddy?"

"No."

"Does Ella?"

"I don't know, sir."

Rhett and Wade sat in silence for the remaining hour of their journey each lost in their own thoughts.

§

Wade continued to be quiet and reserved as they were led around the horse farm and barns and examined horses. Rhett watched Wade examine the horses, it was clear the boy was drawn to a pair of yearlings, every time Rhett and Smithy, the owner of the horse farm, conversed for any length of time Wade wandered over to the pen where two yearlings frolicked.

"I think you are a bit too young for a yearling, Wade." Rhett's voice made Wade jump.

"Why don't we select a second or third year filly for you to train as well as a late gelding. Next year when you turn 13 we'll come back and get you a stallion and a yearling to train."

Wade turned his head from the horses to look up at his stepfather. This was a very generous offer, but Wade felt suspicious.

"It's not a trick," Rhett smiled, "yearlings need too much discipline and I may not be around enough to ensure you are training it well. We can start you on a filly."

"And next year I can have a yearling of my own?"

"Yes."

"And you'll be around to help me train it?"

Rhett smiled, the boy was much smarter than his mother about people. He must have gotten this wisdom from his Aunt Melly.

"Perhaps. However, even if I am not, I know that after learning with a good filly, you'll be ready to take on a yearling in year."

Wade frowned and turned to look back at the two yearlings in the pen, "whatever you think is best, sir."

Rhett selected a late gelding called Fancy for Wade. Fancy was a reddish chestnut brown with a white diamond on his nuzzle. He had been gelded at three and would be 18 in the spring. The owner insisted that Fancy was the most perfect late geld he'd ever seen, Fancy was well tempered and could ride like a stallion. Fancy rarely disobeyed and when Rhett rode Fancy out to test him Rhett agreed. Wade also test rode Fancy and Rhett was pleased with how the boy's eyes shone as he rubbed Fancy down.

Rhett also selected a second-year filly for Wade to train. Rhett had asked for the sweetest and easiest Smithy had and Smithy brought out a golden palomino. Wade didn't ask, but stepped forward and extended his hand. The horse sniffed and licked it then put her nuzzle into Wade's chest and Wade giggled.

"We call her Honey," Smithy smiled, "but she's only second year, so you can change it and she'll learn the new one."

Honey was the perfect golden color of the honey Wade loved drizzled over ice cream.

"She's perfect," Wade whispered.

Wade stood in the pen and pet Honey as Rhett and Smithy finalized prices and delivery.

§

Once they were settled into the carriage and on the long trip back to Atlanta, Wade turned to Rhett and said, "thank you for the horses, Uncle Rhett."

"You are very welcome. You and Honey seem well suited to each other. I look forward to watching you train her."

They rode in silence for a few minutes before Wade ventured, "I am sorry about this morning. I should not speak to you that way."

"No, you shouldn't. However, you did raise a valid point. I hurt you and your sister, not just your mother, when I left. I did not intend to and—"

"But you intended to hurt my mother!" Wade cried sitting forward.

Rhett smirked.

"I'm sorry, sir," Wade whispered.

"Son, my object wasn't to hurt your mother," a small lie, "but I knew my leaving would hurt her. I needed to leave. I could not stand to stay in Atlanta another minute. But I was thoughtless, I did not consider you and Ella and I am sorry for that."

"You needed to leave because Bonnie died? And Aunt Melly?" Wade asked curiously.

Rhett sighed, if he wanted to repair his relationship with his stepson he would have to be somewhat more forthcoming while still not telling the boy the whole truth.

"Yes, I needed to leave because of Bonnie."

"Even though you knew it would hurt mother?"

"Wade, your mother and I have had a troubled relationship for some time."

"I know, I've heard you be mean to her."

"And she to me."

"Yes. But she's a woman, Uncle Rhett," Wade stated petulantly.

"She is, yet I seem to recall you being more than a little afraid of her for years."

"I'm not afraid of her now," Wade's chin jutted out the same way his mother's did, "I'm no longer a child and I'm not afraid. I … when I'm the man of the house I protect her."

"I know that you do, son. I know. You are a very good young man. Your Aunt Melly taught you well."

"So did mother."

"Yes," Rhett agreed recognizing the hypocrisy in being angry with Scarlett for how she'd allowed the boy's anger to fester and his own desire to turn the boy from her so Wade was loyal to Rhett.

"Wade, you are becoming a wonderful young man and I am proud of you. I am proud of you for how you comport yourself and how you have begun to protect and care for your mother. However, I want you to understand I am not the enemy. Your mother and I have a complicated history and there is much pain between us."

"Do you love her?"

"I do, perhaps not the way she would like, but I will always love her for giving me you and Ella and Bonnie."

Wade frowned and his eyes darkened. "She loves you. She loves you the way a woman is supposed to love her husband and you…you don't. You don't love her."

Wade's eyes started to water so he turned his face to stare out the window. Rhett watched the boy struggle to contain his emotions.

"Have you discussed any of this with your mother?"

"No, talking about you makes her upset so I never do. I don't want to upset her on purpose, Uncle Rhett."

Rhett could her the chastisement in the boy's tone.

"Wade—"

"I'm the man," Wade continued as if he hadn't heard, "I'm the man so it's my job to protect her."

"You do, Wade. I know you are a comfort to her and I know she is proud of you. I wish you could have heard your mother tell me how well you are doing in school and how much it comforts her that you are happy."

Wade nodded.

"I know that you are angry, and you have a right to be, but you need to understand that I am the man. I will protect you and Ella and your mother."

"I hope so," Wade answered glumly. Rhett suspected that was the best he was going to get from the boy.

§§§

By the time Rhett and Wade arrived back to the Peachtree mansion Scarlett, Ella and Beau had already eaten supper and were sitting in the parlor. Rhett could see tension around Scarlett's eyes when he and Wade entered.

"Did you find a horse?" Scarlett asked softly, reaching out her hand to Wade as he leaned in to kiss his mother's cheek.

"Yes, two actually. Uncle Rhett selected a late gelding he finds appropriate and let me pick a second-year filly to train," Wade answered.

"Well, that was very generous," Scarlett said as she squeezed Wade's arm before he stepped away.

Rhett stepped over and kissed Scarlett's cheek. After Wade's outburst Rhett no longer suspected Scarlett was poisoning the boy's mind, but he found himself unreasonably angry with her. She should have defended him to the children, she should have explained how she'd wronged him instead of letting the full blame fall onto Rhett's shoulders in Wade's mind. She should have told her children to call him daddy when they'd married.

"Are you hungry? Let me ring for supper for you and Wade," Scarlett smiled up at Rhett. Rhett could see she was nervous, but wasn't sure why. Wade was acting normally, so that wasn't it. Besides she'd looked tense as soon as they had arrived. Perhaps she was still upset he was giving Wade a horse?

Shaking off his anger Rhett smiled tersely and said, "thank you, my dear, I would appreciate that."

Scarlett pulled the bell pull and then directed Pork to have plates set for Rhett and Wade.

§§§

"Rhett, it's my time," Scarlett said hurriedly when Rhett closed the door behind them later that night.

Rhett didn't answer but he turned pushed her body into the wall kissing her deeply.

When he released her, she looked to the floor and whispered, "my womanly time, so I can't…" before she trailed off too embarrassed to speak.

"Of course you can," Rhett said.

Scarlett looked up at him truly horrified. He could see taking her during her time was not a good idea. At least not yet.

"Well, then," he amended, "you can learn to pleasure me."

"What do you mean?" Scarlett tilted her head to the side.

"With your mouth."

Scarlett's eyebrows drew together, she clearly didn't know what he meant.

"Go change and come to bed," Rhett directed as he began to unbutton his waistcoat.

"Are you going to unlace me or should I call for Lou?"

"I'll do it, turn around."

Rhett undid the buttons down Scarlett's back and loosened her corset strings quickly and efficiently and with none of the usual heat in his fingers.

When Scarlett returned from the dressing room in her nightgown Rhett was lying on the bed naked with his manhood hard and bobbing with his breathing. Scarlett gulped. She had no idea what was going to happen but she was fairly certain it was going to be indecent.

"Come here," Rhett said.

Scarlett clambered onto the bed next to him.

"Have you heard of sucking off before?"

"No," Scarlett whispered.

Rhett nodded, he'd known that already, but wanted to be sure. "Well, my dear, sucking off is when a woman sucks on a man's manhood until he releases. And tonight you are going to learn it."

"I suck on your…" Scarlett gestured to his erection.

"Yes, you tease me with your tongue, you lick me and then you take as much of me into your mouth as you can and you mimic relations. You take me in and out of your mouth and you suck until I empty my seed into your mouth," Rhett explained calmly. "Do you have any questions?"

Scarlett shook her head and said nothing. She wanted to ask if he was serious but she knew he was. He'd put his head between her legs and licked and sucked at her private area twice before and it was the best Scarlett had ever felt in her life. She knew he wanted the same. Scarlett hoped she didn't disappoint him. If she gave herself to him for two weeks and then he decided she wasn't enough to meet his needs and went back to Belle's she'd never be able to look him in the eyes again.

When Scarlett hadn't said anything or moved for a few moments, Rhett asked, "Scarlett?"

"Oh," Scarlett startled, "I'm sorry, I…"

Rhett sighed and pulled Scarlett down to lie on his chest.

"What is it?" Rhett asked trying not to groan at the exquisite feeling of Scarlett rubbing against him as she settled.

"It's indecent," Scarlett whispered softly into Rhett's neck.

"Well, I did it to you-"

"And it was indecent!"

Rhett's laugh shook the bed.

When he calmed Rhett ran his fingers down Scarlett's back and said, "Scarlett relations are a natural thing. We are husband and wife and nothing we do in our marital bed is indecent. Relations between…" Rhett stumbled as his traitorous mind supplied people who love each other and he'd almost allowed the words to spill out, "relations are supposed to be fun, exciting and pleasurable."

Scarlett said nothing.

"Don't you like relations?" Rhett asked.

Rhett could feel Scarlett tense in his arms.

"Scarlett? Do you enjoy relations?" Rhett asked again, tying to keep the edge out of his voice.

"Yes," Scarlett said so quietly Rhett could barely hear her.

Rhett reached down and lifted Scarlett's pink-tinged face to his and kissed her. He kissed her until she was languid in his arms and then pulled his lips from hers.

"You don't have to," Rhett said softly.

"But it's what you want?"

"Yes."

Scarlett kissed Rhett once and then clambered over his leg and leaned down over his erect manhood. She took him in her hand and stroked up and down once, the way he'd shown her.

"Ahhhh," Rhett groaned, "lick me."

Scarlett bent down and licked him from base to tip.

"Ohhhhh, good," Rhett said.

Then he picked up his head from the pillow and looked at her in that old cat at a mouse hole way.

Scarlett smiled and then leaned forward and gingerly brought the tip of him into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around the tip and he thrust up into her face moaning, "Oh, god, Scarlett, I knew you'd be good at this. Suck, darling, suck."

Scarlett did, she slid her mouth down him and then slowly lifted her head as she sucked.

"uuuuunnnnnghhh," Rhett moaned. Scarlett's heart fluttered at the sound and that familiar tickling warmth pooled into her belly and between her legs. She leaned down and took as much of him as she could into her mouth and then again pulled her head off of him as she sucked. Rhett trembled and Scarlett felt powerful. This might be indecent, she thought, but it's delightful to finally have Rhett Butler at her mercy.

"Good, faster," Rhett said. Scarlett began to repeat the process over and over going faster and faster.

Soon Scarlett was beginning to think her jaw would break and this was not enjoyable after all. She was wondering what Rhett would do if she released him from her mouth before he spurted when he grabbed the back of her head and held it still.

"Open and relax," Rhett commanded. Scarlett tried but Rhett shoved himself too far into her mouth and she gagged. He was pulling himself out but then he thrust in again and his manhood jerked in her mouth as it started spurting Rhett's seed. Scarlett felt like she was choking. When Rhett released her head she leaned forward and spat all of the fluid in her mouth onto his belly.

Rhett burst out laughing. "You are supposed to swallow that."

"I was choking," Scarlett gasped as she laid on her side next to Rhett. Then for a reason she could not understand Scarlett started laughing. Rhett laughed too.

"I'm sorry," Rhett said trailing his fingers down her cheek once they'd stopped laughing, "tomorrow I'll try not to thrust so deep when I finish."

Scarlett nodded and curled her body into his side.

"Was that all right?" Scarlett asked softly.

"Yes, excellent."

"I'm glad," Scarlett smiled.

Rhett got up and wiped his stomach with a towel. When he returned to the bed Scarlett laid her head on his chest and slung and arm and leg over him and Rhett smiled. Her question and her desire to please him loosened some of the rage shielding his heart from her.

Rhett wanted Scarlett to learn to crave relations with him. He wanted her to yearn for him when he was away the way he'd yearned for her for years. He also knew choking her and pushing her too far wasn't the way. Rhett turned onto his side and pulled Scarlett into his chest. She came willingly and tossed one of her arms over his back. He also knew that Scarlett was going to suck him off every night until her flux ended. Possibly every night for the next seven until he left. The thought made him twinge. No, no, he told himself. Twice in one night was too much just yet.

§§§

When Rhett awoke Sunday morning he was laying on his back with Scarlett draped across his chest and her pantalet covered leg thrown over him. Rhett knew she needed to wear them to help keep the rag in place, but the feeling of cloth against his skin instead of her skin on his irritated him.

Rhett woke Scarlett as he lifted the nightgown off of her.

"Rhett?" she asked sleepily, "did you forget it's my time?"

"No, Scarlett I did not forget. I want to suck on your nipples this morning while you please me with your hands."

Scarlett smiled and kissed his neck before reaching down and drawing her cool fingers up his manhood.

Rhett soon realized it was too awkward to have his mouth on her nipples while she pleasured him, her arms were too short and he had to arch his back, so he sucked each one into his mouth and then stretched his back before laying back. He lazily teased one of Scarlett's nipples and then the other with his fingers while she worked him with her hand.

"Get my balls with your other hand," he grunted. Scarlett shifted so she could, bringing her nipples entirely out of his reach.

Rhett folded his hands behind his head and laid back to watch his wife pleasure him. He hoped she'd take him into her mouth, but he hadn't asked her too and he didn't think she'd enjoyed how it ended last night. He knew she probably wouldn't suck him off again until he asked her to, but he would ask her to tonight. For now, he thought, this was enough. He watched Scarlett's breasts sway as she worked him. Her nipples were erect. He knew that if she weren't wearing a rag he'd be able to smell her arousal from here.

When he finally felt his balls tighten he groaned and reached down to help Scarlett make smooth hard strokes. When he started spurting onto his own stomach he pulled her up sharply and sucked a nipple into his mouth. He kept sucking as he spurted his seed and Scarlett gasped.

When Rhett finished he moved over to her other nipple and circled his tongue around it before taking it into his mouth. He switched back and forth between her nipples until he tired of sucking and savoring Scarlett's soft gasps and moans. He wanted her to be begging for him when her courses ended. He knew she wouldn't finish from him sucking and teasing her nipples, but If he had to keep her half aroused for days, he would and he would enjoy the challenging of keeping her hot and aching while finishing in her mouth every night.

When Rhett tired of sucking, he let Scarlett sit up and realized why she'd gasped. His seed had spurted all over her back and was drying into a sticky mess. Scarlett frowned as she reached behind herself and tried to wipe some of it off.

Rhett reached between her legs and pushed her rags up into what he was sure was very aroused flesh while sucking her earlobe into her mouth and then whispering, "that's why you swallow."

Rhett got up and found his dressing gown then kissed Scarlett while pinching her nipple.

"Be thankful it's Sunday, so Lou and Mammy won't know why you need an extra bath," Rhett laughed.

"Rhett! Wipe this off me! Mammy will want to know what it is and how it got there!"

"Oh no," Rhett laughed, "though I do wish I could be there for the explanation."

Then Rhett strode to the door where he paused and looked back, "and you'd better have Lou change the sheets, Scarlett. Seed is everywhere."

Scarlett laughed as she threw a pillow at his head.

* * *

_Author's Note: Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Special thanks to: Nuala Lady of the Lake, Christag, Trukee Gal, Livisa, Gabyhyatt, Alizahsadik, MissTricey, Rhett's love, EmmaElizaRose, kinderby, and guests 1, 2, & 3 for your wonderful and insightful reviews! I cannot express how much I appreciate them and your PMs. _

_Thank you also to everyone who has thanked me for posting regularly. Now, I have some good news / bad news. I have job interviews on the east coast next week and will be out of town and away from my computer, time, and constant internet access. So, chapter 8 will be posted early on Tuesday morning before my flight but chapter 9 will be posted late on Sunday after I return home. I also won't be as quick to reply to your fabulous reviews and PMs but I will read them as soon as they post (I can't help myself) and rely as soon as possible!_


	8. Leave-taking, Monday, January 5, 1874

_Disclaimer: Would that they were mine ..._

* * *

Rhett felt some of the air had been cleared between himself and Wade, but it was also clear his stepson still resented and distrusted Rhett. Rhett was relieved when the children resumed going to school on Monday. With the children at school and Scarlett at the store, Rhett had time to think. He went to his old bedroom, frowning at the thought he no longer considered it his, and sat in one of the plush armchairs in front of the fireplace. No fire was lit as the whole house knew Rhett was once again residing in the master bedroom.

The room was chilly, but Rhett didn't want to be disturbed. His conversation with Wade had gotten under his skin. Rhett was worried that Scarlett and her body were working their way back into his heart. Part of Rhett wanted to revel in how much she wanted him, he wanted to stay in Atlanta and take his wife however and whenever he wanted. But he also worried it wouldn't last. What would happen when Ashley was less grief stricken? Would Scarlett suddenly rediscover her lifelong love for that wretch? If he kept taking his wife she'd get with child again. Would Rhett be able to handle it? He sighed, part of him wanted more children. He wanted to do it over, he wanted to do it right. He'd clearly failed Bonnie and Wade, Ella was his best hope now. And Rhett knew that if he didn't stay, Wade would poison sweet Ella's mind against him.

Rhett was also fascinated by this new, more mature version of his wife. She was much more like the wife he'd wanted. She saw to the household and was becoming more adventurous with her body in their bed. As Rhett mulled over the almost three weeks he'd been in Atlanta he realized that part of him missed Scarlett. He had her body in the way he always wanted it, but her mind was still distant. She didn't come home and discuss the mills or the store with him. She didn't tell him all of the Atlanta gossip. And she'd refused to discuss her nightmare with him. She discussed the children and meals and answered his questions. As he sat and contemplated their conversations Rhett knew he missed when they had been friends. Why couldn't they seem to manage to be both friends and husband and wife at the same time he wondered.

But then Rhett thought about staying and he felt a cold trickle in his chest. No, he was not staying. He was going. He'd be back at some point. He couldn't, he absolutely could not stay now. Scarlett was going to break his defenses and then his heart if he let her. She was already too close. Rhett would leave as planned on Sunday and work out what to do and when to come back once he was safely away from Scarlett's charms and her body. And he would leave the address of his hotel so Scarlett and the children could write him this time.

Monday and Tuesday nights Rhett was able to restrain himself when he came into Scarlett's mouth. Both nights after he finished he teased Scarlett's nipples. He kissed up and down her neck and body and tweaked them with his fingers, then he would suck them until she writhed and panted beneath him.

Wednesday night when Rhett closed the door to their bedroom behind them Scarlett launched herself into Rhett's arms and Rhett knew her flux had either ended or she no longer cared and was going to let him take her anyway.

Rhett almost tore her corset laces he was so eager to disrobe her. By the time they were standing before each other naked they were both panting and Scarlett's entire body looked deliciously pink.

Rhett picked her up and tossed her onto the bed where she laughed as he leaped onto the bed after her.

"Oh, you think that's funny do you?"

"Yes!" Scarlett laughed as she squirmed underneath him.

"What about this?" Rhett asked as he swiped his fingers through her wet folds. "Do you think this is funny?" he swirled his fingers around her bundle of nerves.

"No!" Scarlett gasped throwing her head back.

"No?" Rhett asked as he continued to tease her, "what do you think it is then?"

"Wonderful," Scarlett answered searching for his eyes.

Rhett lowered his full weight onto Scarlett and kissed her. Rhett knew how against her entire upbringing that one moment of honesty about her own pleasure had been and he wanted to reward it.

"How do you want it?" Rhett asked and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"What?" Scarlett asked, clearly not having understood.

"How do you want relations, Scarlett?" Rhett kissed her jaw, "What position? Do you want to be on the top? The bottom? On our sides? A position you haven't tried before like bent over the bed or up against the wall?"

"Well, I prefer you to be on top, but I promised you I'd meet your needs, so …"

"That doesn't mean we can't also meet your needs," Rhett said as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth. Rhett wanted this to be the most ecstasy she'd ever felt. He wanted her to remember this night for the rest of her life. Rhett wanted her to ache for him while he was away the way he'd ached for her for years.

Rhett let his fingers dance along her folds and swirl her bundle of nerves while he slowly kissed down the column of her throat and down to her breasts. He laved attention on her nipples, swirling his tongue around them and sucking them into his mouth.

Then he nipped the underside of the breast he'd been suckling and kissed lower down her body. Scarlett trembled with anticipation when he reached the apex of her thighs but instead of putting his tongue where she wanted it he pressed his nose into her folds and breathed deeply of the scent of her. Scarlett breathed in sharply.

Rhett turned his face and sucked the skin of her inner thigh into his mouth. He wanted to mark her. When he released the reddened skin he kissed it tenderly then continued kissing his way down her leg. Scarlett sighed in disappointment and Rhett smirked into the skin inside her knee. Rhett kissed all the way to her ankle then shifted and began kissing his way back up the other leg.

Rhett again bypassed the hot moist folds between her legs and drew the skin of her lower belly into his mouth. Scarlett groaned.

When he released her skin he leaned down and licked the length of Scarlett's folds and sucked her bud into his mouth. She was so wet he felt her moisture dripping off of his chin. Scarlett screamed and arched her back off the bed.

When she laid back down Rhett smirked at her before returning to pleasuring her. He licked and sucked until she shuddered beneath him and cried out "Rhett! Oh! Rhett!"

"You want me to be on top?" Rhett asked sitting up, his erection aching painfully.

Scarlett nodded and whispered, "please."

Rhett positioned himself and slid into her painfully slowly. Scarlett closed her eyes and sighed.

When he was completely buried inside her, Rhett leaned down and kissed her, bracing himself on his elbows so not all of his weight was on her and he had better leverage to thrust. Rhett knew Scarlett found the weight of him comforting, but he didn't want to crush her.

Scarlett brought her arms and legs around his back and pulled him down onto her. Her mouth devoured his, as hungry for him as he had been for her. Rhett thrust slowly but deeply into her. He knew exactly how she liked it, he may not always take her that way, but watching as her forehead wrinkled and she bit her lip, just as he knew she would, Rhett was proud he knew how to please his wife.

Rhett shifted his weight and lowered one of his hands to hold her hips still so he could thrust into them harder. Soon her body's climax pulled him into a climax so hard Rhett saw white.

Rhett shifted so part of his weight rested on the bed and part on Scarlett and relaxed as he softened inside her. Scarlett's arms and one of her legs were still wrapped tightly around him, squeezing him onto her.

Scarlett lifted her head and began kissing everywhere she could reach on Rhett's face whispering, "thank you, Rhett, thank you." Rhett stroked his hand up and down her side lazily waiting for her to relax and release him.

Instead of letting him go Scarlett buried her face into his neck. It took a few moments for Rhett to realize the wetness on his neck was not their sweat but her tears. One of her arms was around him and their legs were tangled holding him onto her.

"Scarlett, let go," Rhett shifted his hips so he slid out of her with a gush of fluids.

"Rhett?" her voice shook.

"Honey, let go so I can shift us."

Scarlett relaxed her hold and Rhett shifted so he was laying on his side with Scarlett curled into his chest. She folded one arm between them and slung the other over his side. Rhett soothed his hand up and down her back and waited for her to tell him what was wrong. When she didn't, he didn't ask.

She had been silent so long Rhett was sure she had fallen asleep. As he loosened his hold to roll onto his back he felt the arm she had slung around him tighten.

"When will you be back?" Scarlett whispered into his neck.

Rhett's heart began to pound. Perhaps pleasing her had been a mistake. Perhaps it had given her the wrong idea. "I don't know," he answered, careful to keep his tone neutral.

"Will you come for your birthday?"

"No. Why would I?" Rhett questioned, trying to keep his irritation out of his voice.

Scarlett frowned, "Well, because three months was the longest you'd ever spent away since we were married and …and you were just gone for three and a half months I think people will talk if you are always gone for three months and then home for a few weeks and your birthday is almost two months after Wade's so you will still be away, Rhett, and I…I just thought you might be here."

Rhett didn't answer.

Scarlett continued, "Besides, the children know it's your birthday and I know they will be disappointed if they can't spend it with you."

Rhett clenched his jaw. He thought she was toying with him, but he also knew she was right. Wade was much too old not to know something was wrong if he didn't come home for his birthday after two extended trips. And Wade was already suspicious and angry.

"Touche, my dear. For the children is the reason I will return in time for my birthday."

Scarlett blinked rapidly and said, "Thank you."

Then she released the arm that hadn't really been holding him there and Rhett turned onto his back. Scarlett slid over and rested her head on his chest. Before Rhett even realized what he was doing his arms were around her. Scarlett sighed and nestled into Rhett. Rhett closed his eyes wondering how large a mistake it was to agree to come back so soon.

§§§ - Friday, January 9, 1847

Friday evening Ashley, India, Aunt Pitty and Uncle Henry had supper at the Butler's to celebrate Wade's twelfth birthday. Scarlett had allowed Wade to assist in selecting the menu and they were having Wade's beloved fried chicken, corn bread and mashed potatoes with a chocolate cake and mint ice cream for dessert.

This was the fifth and final time the Hamilton-Wilkes clan were dining with Rhett and Scarlett and the children during Rhett's stay and Rhett was interested in his own lack of desire to stir the pot. It was his second to last night in Atlanta and he planned on keeping Scarlett up late to take his fill of her even though she had to finalize preparations for Wade's birthday party tomorrow. Perhaps that was why he felt no inclination towards irritating her or Ashley or India. Yes, that must be it he reasoned as he engaged in pleasant conversation with Henry and Wade.

§§§ - Saturday, January 10, 1874

Scarlett wasn't her usual frantic self as she supervised the last-minute preparations for Wade's birthday party Saturday morning. Rhett sat on the verandah and watched Scarlett come and go and order everyone about. She never raised her voice. Rhett thought this odd and eventually gave up the pretense of reading the paper to watch her order the servants about.

The children and grandchildren of the Old Guard had all accepted the invitations and Wade had invited all of his classmates. Scarlett had also invited John Rogers and his wife and children. Rhett was surprised when he learned this, but was also looking forward to meeting the man Scarlett was now running her business with.

Scarlett arranged for one of the music societies to play and for several games in the sprawling back yard along with a tent for shade and seating for the adults scattered about. The sliding doors to the conservatory they never used at the back of the house were open and tables of food and lemonade, coffee, and tea were being laid out in the conservatory.

Scarlett noticed Rhett's stare from where he lounged on the wide porch and went over to him.

"Can I get you something, Rhett?" she asked with no trace of irritation at all in her voice.

Rhett smiled and Scarlett thought about how long it had been since she'd seen him really smile at her. How had she not noticed when all of his smiles had been for Bonnie? How had she not missed him?

"No, I'm quite all right. Come sit," Rhett reached his arm to Scarlett as he spoke and Scarlett took his hand and perched on the end of his chaise lounge.

"It seems you are preparing a very fine party for your son, Scarlett."

"Thank you!" Scarlett smiled genuinely at Rhett, "I do hope he enjoys it."

Wade stepped out of the conservatory and saw his mother perched on Rhett's chair. They were holding hands and she was smiling. Wade clenched his jaw. That scallywag was going to break her heart and leave her again. He had to stop this.

"Mother?" Wade asked, "will you come help me with something?"

"Of course, darling" Scarlett smiled at Rhett as she rose and turned to walk towards Wade.

As soon as Wade thought they were out of Rhett's earshot he asked, "Do you really love Uncle Rhett, mother?" but they were not out of earshot and Rhett practically leaped from his seat to follow the sound of their voices as they stepped into the conservatory. Rhett leaned against the wall just outside the door and listened.

"I do, Wade. You know I do."

"But why? He's not good to you. You deserve someone better."

"Ah, Wade, I wish I had had someone explain love to me when I was your age. It's a very complicated thing."

"So?"

"So, I love your Uncle Rhett, very much. I think I always will. He's so much a part of me."

"But he's going to leave you again!"

"I know, darling."

"And you think that that's an acceptable way for him to treat you? You are his wife."

"Wade," Scarlett began a warning in her tone, "I do not think you—"

"Know what I'm talking about? Or should speak of such things?" Wade interrupted hotly.

Scarlett chuckled, "No. No. I don't think you understand the sort of pain Rhett is in."

"You are in pain too, mother. A lot of pain."

"I know, but—"

"And you've never run away."

"Wade, everyone deals with loss how they deal with loss. Think about how grandpa's mind went after grandma died, though, I think you are too young to remember how he was before. Think about how your Uncle Ashley is so sad and quiet after losing Aunt Melly, people deal with their pain how they can."

"And all Uncle Rhett can do is run away and abandon us."

"Darling, he's not abandoning us, he promised to write and he will write and he will come back."

"How do you know he will?"

Scarlett sighed, "Because he doesn't often lie, he said he would write and he would come back and I believe he will."

"Mother—"

"Wade, let's not discuss this now, we can discuss this tomorrow," Scarlett cut him off.

Wade nodded.

Warmth flooded Rhett at his wife's defense of him. After his conversation with Wade Rhett had assumed Scarlett wasn't poisoning Wade against him, but now Rhett was sure. Rhett leaned back against the building wall for a moment reveling in what he overheard. He was still standing against the wall with his head back when Scarlett almost walked right into him on her way back to the yard.

"Oh! Rhett, you scared me!" Scarlett exclaimed before her face fell as she realized Rhett had yet again eavesdropped on a moment she had thought was private.

Rhett grabbed her arm and pulled her against him. "I will write and I will come back."

"I know," Scarlett whispered, "I wish you wouldn't leave, but I know you will."

Rhett leaned in and kissed his wife. Warmth pooled into Scarlett's belly. He does love me, Scarlett thought.

§§§ - Sunday, January 11, 1874

"Will you write to me this time, Uncle Rhett?" Ella whined holding onto Rhett's arm.

"Yes, darling, I've already promised," Rhett said soothingly.

"Ella, darling, let Uncle Rhett go so he can catch his train," Scarlett cajoled in a voice all four recognized as too sweet.

"When will you come home, Uncle Rhett?" Ella asked her eyes starting to fill with tears.

Rhett bent and scooped her up. "I'll be home for my birthday. Are you going to give me a present?" Rhett kissed her nose.

"Why are you going to be in Chicago so long, sir?" Wade asked.

Rhett eyed the boy he'd always considered a son and remembered bouncing Wade on his knee during the war, wishing Wade was his. Wade stood close to and slightly in front of his mother. Rhett recognized the protective gesture for what it was and told himself to be grateful he had such a good stepson instead of resenting the boy's implication.

"I've started a new business there making cooled rail cars to transport meats and I need to run the business carefully."

"Why can't you do that in Atlanta, sir?"

Rhett frowned at Wade's tone. Ella noticed the increased tension and wrapped her arms around Rhett's head tightly.

"Let go, honey. You're crushing me," Rhett laughed. Ella released Rhett's face with a giggle.

"As to your question, son, the factory is outside Chicago and I need to be able to stop in daily. Just like your mother used to with her mills."

Scarlett bit her lip and put her hand on Wade's shoulder. "Say goodbye, darling," she directed her son.

"Goodbye, Uncle Rhett," Wade said as he stepped forward and extended his hand.

Setting Ella down, Rhett smiled wistfully and shook Wade's hand before pulling the boy in for a hug.

"Goodbye, Wade. Remember you are the man of the house while I'm away. Be good to your mother and sister."

"I know," Wade frowned. He was much better to his mother than Uncle Rhett ever was. He didn't need to be told to take care of her by the man that was abandoning her and pretending not to.

"Goodbye, Scarlett," Rhett said leaning forward and kissing her cheek.

Scarlett placed her hand on his arm and squeezed, "Goodbye, Rhett. Safe travels."

Rhett pinched Ella's cheek and then picked up his bag and hat and turned to walk out the front door for two months.

* * *

_Author's Note: Enjoy this early chapter! Remember the next one won't be up until Sunday. Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed. Special thanks to Alizahsadik, romabeachgirl, Aelthefraed, lescarlett, gabyhyatt, gumper, Livisa, WaltzingMathilda, Trukee Gal, MissTricey, Nuala Lady of the Lake, and guests 1, 2 & 3._

_Extra special thanks to everyone who wished me luck! I'm off to interview!_


	9. Alone, Sunday, January 11, 1874

_Disclaimer: Nothing and no one you recognize is mine. _

* * *

Scarlett cried herself to sleep Sunday night.

When Scarlett woke up alone Monday morning she sat up bleary eyed and called, "Rhett?" softly before she remembered he was gone.

Scarlett sighed and turned onto her side. She had grown to love falling asleep and waking up in Rhett's arms. She knew he couldn't feel the indifference he claimed when he held her close during the night. And now she was alone in her large bed missing him again.

Scarlett's mind ticked through her calendar as she hugged her knees to her chest. Rhett's birthday was March 3rdwhich was the first Tuesday in March and Scarlett assumed he would arrive the Sunday before, exactly seven weeks after leaving. Scarlett's birthday was the 31stexactly four weeks after Rhett's birthday. He'd stayed three weeks for Christmas, New Years, and Wade's birthday, and Scarlett hoped he would stay four weeks to be there for her birthday. As she opened her eyes and looked at the empty pillow she felt Rhett had reclaimed in the last few weeks a wave of sadness crashed over her and turning her face into her pillow she cried.

Monday night Scarlett awoke screaming in the middle of the night. She got up and curled into one of the chairs by the fire and draped her dressing gown around herself. The Yankee army couldn't lick me, starvation couldn't lick me, brandy couldn't lick me and Rhett Butler won't either Scarlett thought over and over until her pounding heart slowed.

§§§ – Tuesday, January 13, 1874

"Well, Blore," Rhett said as he took a seat in the lawyer's office, "were you able to find a will or property transfers for my wife's plantation?"

Blore eyed his client, "I take it you are no longer contemplating divorce?"

Rhett laughed, "perhaps not at this moment, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be prepared."

Blore nodded, he had had numerous clients over the years attempt to hedge their bets.

"Understandable," Blore intoned, "however, I do not have good news. No will was found. It is possible one is hidden on the family plantation somewhere, many people buried important papers and valuables during the war. If none is found you can take your wife's claim to probate court."

"Is there any possibility of an outcome other than splitting the property in three?"

"Not unless there is a will. The Georgia constitution provides that anyone who dies without a will shall have their estate divided equally among their children. Is there a widow? If so, she will take either a child's share or the return of her dowry."

"There is no widow. Does it matter that one of the sisters is now in a convent?"

"What kind?"

"Catholic."

"Do you know which order?"

"No."

"Hum," Blore mused, "each order is different but in general it may complicate things if she entered with no dowry and the church then claims they are owed dowry for the sister. However, a third of a piece of property would likely be worth much more than the expected dowry. More problematic, I assume, is that the church will make her sell her interest, which may create problems as well," Blore explained.

"Because of the vow of poverty?"

"Yes, if the church claims a portion of her share they may prevent you from selling the property to your chosen purchaser or buying the sister's share yourself."

"That is a problem," Rhett drawled slowly. 

"And if we do not go to court to settle the matter?"

"That depends. Do the sisters have some sort of agreement? The convent would likely have asked the sister…"

"Careen," Rhett supplied.

"The convent would likely have asked Careen if she owned any property when she entered, she must have told them no. Perhaps the other two sisters, your wife and the third, have agreed to split the property in half among themselves? Or perhaps there is no agreement?"

Rhett sighed, "I'll have to ask my wife about any agreement among her and her sisters. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way Careen had a dowry, no way at all." Rhett's voice trailed off as he thought of Scarlett coming to swindle him out of $300 at the jail. Knowing how desperately she needed money at the time, there was no way she'd have been able to give Careen anything for a dowry.

"Now, returning for a moment to the possibility of a divorce. It seems my wife has quit drinking. At least to the excess she was before I left. Are there any other grounds on which I might settle the matter if I so choose?"

"As we discussed last time, if she leaves you for three years or commits adultery we can absolutely obtain a divorce. If she is habitually cruel or intoxicated we may be able to obtain a complete divorce, or one of bed and board."

"And there are no other grounds?"

"There, are but I don't think they apply," Blore frowned.

"What are they?" Rhett asked curiously.

"If she has been convicted of a crime of moral turpitude and sentenced to at least two years."

Rhett shook his head no.

"If she coerced you into the marriage or was pregnant at the time without telling you."

Again Rhett shook his head no.

"If you were mentally incompetent at the time of the marriage."

Rhett laughed, "well, now, there is some evidence of that, but no."

"That's it. The last is if she was married to someone else at the time or you never consummated the marriage."

Rhett shook his head. Then he cleared his throat, "what if she denied me my rights?"

"Your marital rights?"

Rhett nodded slightly.

"And you can't just take them?" Blore asked quizzically.

Rhett raised his eyebrow but said nothing.

"Well, assuming there is some reason you can't obtain your rights, if she is violent or makes continual escape attempts, or….," Blore trailed off uncomfortably, "there isn't an enumerated cause for that, but there is some precedent. It might be possible, but I certainly cannot guarantee it."

"I see," Rhett intoned gravely.

"And you will need some sort of witness, other than you and your wife, that can demonstrate you have tried to take your rights and she's denied you. Perhaps one of your servants could testify to that fact."

"Well, that leaves me with quite a bit to think about," Rhett said as he rose. "I'll inquire as to any potential property agreement and be in touch if I'd like to pursue the property rights or a divorce."

Rhett shook Blore's hand and left wondering why he'd brought up divorce at all.

§§§

Rhett felt agitated after leaving Blore's office so he walked over a mile to his preferred Savannah whore house. He had little doubt word would get back to Belle that he'd been at Mary's. Despite being illiterate southern working women had an amazing ability to spread gossip and relate exploits of the factual and fictional varieties. Rhett thought about how the army should have used the working women as spies as he walked.

When Rhett arrived he briefly wondered what Belle had thought after Rhett hadn't come by again while he was in Atlanta as he greeted the madam, a tall thin woman with eyes as dark as Rhett's and light brown hair pulled into a simple chignon at the base of her neck. Like Belle, Mary was over 40, possibly almost 50, and only saw special clients.

"What are you seeking today, Captain Butler? Something specific? Someone specific?"

"Blond or red with brown eyes," Rhett stated.

Mary nodded and told Rhett to go up to room 14 and someone would be in to service him shortly.

Rhett glanced around the room when he entered, it was the same sort of nondescript room with a bed and nothing else in most houses of ill repute.

Rhett stood at the foot of the bed and waited. A few moments later the door opened and a woman with wavy light brown, almost golden, hair and brown eyes entered. Rhett frowned, he had not asked for brown hair. It was light brown, but not the blond or red he'd requested.

"I'm Molly," she stated as she closed the door behind her. Molly wore a fur-lined dressing gown that reminded Rhett of Scarlett's garish taste.

"Take that off," Rhett nodded at the offending garment.

Molly slid it down her arms and tossed it away. She stood before him dressed in a corset and stockings with no chemise or pantalets and Rhett felt himself twitch.

"Suck me off."

Molly stepped forward and began unbuttoning Rhett's pants. When they were loosened she slid them down then pushed Rhett to sit on the bed. Molly removed Rhett's shoes, stockings, pants and drawers and then licked the semi-hard length of him.

Mary had chosen well. Under Molly's skilled tongue and fingers Rhett was soon throbbing inside her throat and his balls began to tingle. Molly added one of her fingers to her mouth and then inserted it into Rhett's anus. As she fingered him the surge of pleasure caused Rhett to explode in her mouth.

"Ah, you are good," Rhett said as his breathing slowed.

"Thank ya, sir, do you want somethan else?"

Rhett shook his head and said, "get out."

Molly rose and gathered her dressing gown and left without a word. Rhett got pulled up his drawers and pants and made himself presentable. He felt the easing of tension in his back that spilling his seed brought, but he still felt irritated and unsettled.

§§§ - Wednesday, January 14, 1874

After leaving the house of ill repute Rhett boarded a train travel back to Chicago. He spent the long hours on the train recalling his stay in Atlanta. Rhett was almost surprised to realize that he had not hired a servant or two to spy on Scarlett's drinking. It was possible she wasn't drinking while he was there but was while he was away Rhett mused, but somehow he doubted it. When she had been drinking before she needed her nightcap. She must really not need it any longer Rhett thought. He frowned realizing that if he wanted to divorce her he would have to either make her start drinking again or start gathering evidence she was cruel or denied him his rights.

But did he want to divorce her? Part of Rhett was still angry and tired and thought a life of travel and whores might suit him much more than his tempestuous wife. But she hadn't been tempestuous at all while he had been in Atlanta. Rhett could understand her holding it in for the first few days, but three weeks? Scarlett was not that in control of her emotions. Granted, once Rhett had resumed taking her he'd stopped trying so hard to get a rise out of her. Perhaps he still could if he tried.

Rhett wondered at his own behavior. When he'd decided to make Scarlett live up to her end of their bargain he'd intended to take her and return to his room each night. Although he was typically a light sleeper and often woke in the night, that first night with Scarlett he'd fallen asleep and slept until morning with her draped across his chest. Rhett had to admit to himself, he'd stayed in his wife's bed after their relations because he had been sleeping soundly and by the end of his time in Atlanta had felt better rested and more at peace than he had in years.

Now only three nights later as he laid in his bunk on the train Rhett couldn't still his racing thoughts. He longed for the feel of Scarlett's soft skin, the heat of her body, the lemon verbena scent of her hair and the sounds of her soft breathing against his chest. Just thinking about her made him hard. As Rhett contemplated stroking himself he thought about how much smaller and softer her hand was than his. Rhett sighed and turned onto his side determined to think of anything but Scarlett.

Rhett woke Thursday morning still feeling tired. He was angry he hadn't been able to sleep well without Scarlett. Usually Rhett slept soundly on trains, but he had tossed and turned most of the night.

As Rhett sat and watched the illusion of trees seemingly rushing past the train he contemplated divorce. If he divorced Scarlett he'd never have her body again. He knew she wouldn't give herself to anyone she wasn't married to. And even if he might have been able to convince her to before, she would be too angry with him if he divorced her for Rhett to ever take her again.

Rhett wondered if he divorced Scarlett if she would marry Ashley. Rhett had seen in Scarlett's interactions with Ashley that Scarlett didn't love him the way she'd thought she had for years. They were warm and kind, but there was nothing secretive and no heat. There was no longing in Scarlett's eyes when she looked at Ashley as there had been for years. Rhett frowned. Even so, Scarlett would marry Ashley if he divorced her. Scarlett would need to save her reputation after a divorce left it in tatters and Ashley was the best way. Atlanta would briefly gossip about how they had known something was between Ashley and Scarlett all along, but Ashley's reputation would save Scarlett's. Especially if India was behind their marriage, which oddly enough, it seemed like she might be. Besides, Rhett thought Scarlett would likely do it for Beau, not her reputation. If she married Ashley, Beau would be Scarlett's and she could care for him however she chose. Yes. Rhett knew if he divorced Scarlett he was all but ensuring her marriage to Ashley. The knowledge enraged him.

Rhett was so angry he almost missed his connecting train in Washington. He paced the platform contemplating going to see Cherry, or even taking her back to Chicago as his mistress. But knowing that if he divorced his wife she would be in Ashley's arms as soon as possible made Rhett unwilling to obtain a divorce.

The second leg of his journey was more miserable than the first. Rhett slept poorly and dreamed of Scarlett's body. Ashley wasn't the only reason he couldn't divorce Scarlett, Rhett knew he couldn't give up his access to her body and her bed. As he watched the Chicago skyline approach through his window, he decided. He would not pursue a divorce, he would stay married to Scarlett and this would be his life. Rhett would make his home base in Chicago, New Orleans, or Charleston, or perhaps even Washington. Or he would move Cherry to where he was. Or perhaps he would have no home base and continue to travel freely. He would make periodic trips to Atlanta and stay for a few weeks each time, taking Scarlett to his body's content but never letting her have his heart or his mind.

As soon as he arrived at his hotel he called for stationary and wrote to Scarlett and the children about his journey. He included the return address in the letter in case the envelope was somehow damaged or someone misplaced the paper he'd left on Scarlett's desk with the address. Then he telegraphed Blore he was not pursuing divorce but would contact him about the property issues after he was next in Atlanta.

§§§

Scarlett's return letter to Rhett was brief and impersonal. The store was well, the mills were well, the children were doing well in school, Wade had begun the horse training Rhett had directed, and Beau was staying often. Ella wrote Rhett a long letter and told him all about school and piano lessons and Wade and the new horses. Wade wrote nothing.

Rhett sighed and sat down to write. He included details about the sights in Chicago and some of his business ventures in his letter to Scarlett and then wrote a shorter separate letter to each child, including Beau, asking how school was and how they were spending their leisure time. Rhett asked Wade about Fancy and Honey and hoped the boy would reply.

§§§ – Sunday, January 25, 1874

As January wore on Scarlett noticed that Beau spent every night but one since Rhett left at the Butler home. When Ashley and Beau had first moved to Aunt Pitty's there had been an increase in the number of nights Beau slept at the Hamilton house, but starting the night Rhett left, Beau stayed for an entire week. Then Beau returned to the Hamilton house after the next Sunday supper, but had stayed only a single night. After Beau returned to Scarlett's that Monday night he'd been there ever since. Scarlett welcomed his presence, he made the house feel less empty and reminded Scarlett of Melly. As Scarlett headed up to the nursery to see the children after meeting with the cook about Sunday supper that night and the meals for the week Scarlett wondered if Ashley would take Beau home with him tonight.

Ashley didn't come to Sunday supper. India looked nervous when Beau asked after his father. Pitty blathered that Ashley had a headache, but Scarlett could tell from the set of India's face something was wrong.

Beau stayed again Sunday night and Monday after dropping the children at Oglethorpe Academy Scarlett directed Pork to take her to Aunt Pitty's instead of the store. As Scarlett expected, Ashley was home.

India and Pitty were in the parlor sipping tea when Scarlett arrived and told India to tell Ashley if he wouldn't come down to see her Scarlett would go up. Pitty looked surprised, but India agreed without comment and headed upstairs. Dilcey brought in tea for Scarlett and Scarlett and Pitty sipped their tea in silence until India returned announcing that Ashley would come down momentarily.

Scarlett wasn't sure what her plan was. Ashley had been skipping days of work and Rogers had had to run the mill instead of selling the lumber and managing the business. Scarlett knew she couldn't fire Ashley, but she needed to hire someone else to run the mill. She had to think of something to employ Ashley without hurting Ashley's stupid pride as she'd promised Melly.

When Ashley stepped into the parlor looking disheveled and wrapped in a dressing gown Scarlett turned to Pitty and asked, "Aunt Pitty, will you be a dear and go have Dilcey pack some more of Beau's things?"

"Oh, but…" Pitty started and then glancing about at the set faces Pitty rose and shuffled from the room. When she had gone, India said softly, "I'll just go and see about more tea."

"You are welcome to stay, India," Scarlett said. She meant it. Part of Scarlett didn't trust India not to spread rumors that she and Ashley had been alone together with Ashley inappropriately dressed.

"Oh, no," India started, "I know you have business to discuss and I don't want to be in the way."

India retreated across the hall to the library, leaving the library and parlor doors open. Scarlett smiled to herself. She was not at all upset India could overhear. In fact, she was oddly grateful.

"Ashley," Scarlett began but he interrupted, "Don't lecture me, Scarlett. The holidays were awful for me, you can't understand."

"Ashley, the holidays were a month ago. You are becoming worse instead of better."

"I don't want to live without her."

"I know," Scarlett answered as she looked down at her black mourning dress.

"You don't know."

"I lost Bonnie and Melly, Ashley. I …sometimes when I think of Bonnie my heart hurts so I have to lay down to weep. I know what it is to lose someone you thought you couldn't live without…someone you never expected to lose so soon."

Ashley nodded.

"Ashley, you need to leave the house and do something. You can't stay and wallow every day."

"I run a mill, Scarlett. I'm not wallowing."

"You haven't been going to the mill and Mr. Rogers has had to neglect his duties to run your mill."

"Scarlett—"

"Don't. Do you think I don't know when you aren't there? Mr. Rogers reports to me when he has to run your mill."

"I don't want to operate the mill, Scarlett," Ashley sighed. "I'm not cut out for it."

"What would you like to do?"

Ashley said nothing but turned to stare out the window.

"Ashley Wilkes, I will continue to support you and Beau no matter what you do. I've been supporting Aunt Pitty and India and my aunts in Charleston for years and you and Beau are only two more. I would prefer it if you would help me, but if you won't I will continue to finance all who live in the Hamilton house, but Beau will not be one of them. Beau will come and stay with me and I'll care for him as my own."

"I don't want to be a burden to you. You don't owe me anything."

"No. I don't. I owe Melly," Scarlett snapped.

Scarlett observed the clench of Ashley's jaw and his red-rimmed eyes and sighed.

"Ashley, Beau is going to come and stay with me, at least until you are well. I don't think he should see you like this and I know Melly would not want him to."

"I think that would be best," Ashley agreed softly.

"You must make an effort to come to Sunday supper."

"I will."

"And you are welcome to come and visit him any time, Ashley. Any time at all. Our house is always open to you and India and Aunt Pitty."

"Thank you."

"Now, one more thing. I have to hire someone to run your mill, at least temporarily. I can't run the lumber business and the store anymore and Mr. Rogers is excellent at managing the business. When you are ready, you are welcome back. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"I'll take my leave then."

Scarlett rose and laid her hand on Ashley's shoulder briefly before walking across the hall to the library.

"India," Scarlett began sinking onto the divan next to India, "Beau is going to stay with me for a while. Until Ashley's much better."

"He should, Scarlett," India agreed, "seeing his father like this is hard on him."

Scarlett nodded, "I've also discussed with Ashley that I must hire someone to replace him at the mill until he's able to return and be there every day."

India opened her mouth to speak, but Scarlett stopped her. "No, no, don't worry. Dilcey always lets me know when the household accounts are running low, but I need you to tell me if you want for anything. I'll continue to deposit Ashley's salary—" a gasp from the door stopped Scarlett and she and India turned to look at Ashley leaning against the door frame. Neither had heard Ashley follow Scarlett.

"Scarlett, you shouldn't do that. You needn't pay for everything," Ashley stated in a matter of fact tone that irked Scarlett. How did he think he would survive and feed his family if Scarlett didn't? Scarlett turned narrowed eyes on him. Treating him with kid gloves hasn't been working and Scarlett felt he needed a dose of reality.

"I have been for years. And as I've told you I will continue to do so. If you would like to earn the money that runs this household I'll think of ways for you to do that. But until then I will continue to deposit your salary, it's the right amount for most of the expenses, and if you or India or Aunt Pitty need anything more India or Dilcey will inform me. Besides, as always you won't pay for anything at the store. Just send Dilcey for what you need."

Scarlett rose to leave but India's voice stopped her.

"Scarlett? Would you…"

Scarlett turned, but India didn't continue.

"Will I what?" Scarlett asked trying not to let her impatience show.

India looked between Ashley and Scarlett for a moment before taking a deep breath and asking, "Would you consider hiring Lieutenant Jeffries' brother to run the mill?"

"Why of course, India," Scarlett answered relieved. Scarlett liked Jeffries, he had been in Pitty's parlor calling on India by pretending to call on Pitty several times Scarlett had come to the house in January and Scarlett hoped this would develop into formal courting once India was out of mourning. After experiencing the social backlash when she demoted Hugh Scarlett knew the importance of hiring and keeping the Old Guard descendants. Jeffries wasn't Old Guard, but Scarlett suspected he would marry India, and then he would be family.

That afternoon Scarlett drove out to the Peachtree mill to let Rogers know Ashley would not be returning for a while and she would be hiring someone to run the mill so Rogers could return to running the business.

§§§ - Wednesday, January 28, 1974

The solution came to Scarlett that Wednesday as she drove out to the Peachtree mill to meet with Rogers. The construction was almost all at the edges of town these days. Scarlett knew she could make a lot of money if she bought some land and built homes and then leased or sold them to the people who continued to flock into Atlanta. Ashley could supervise the building process. He wasn't a contractor, and Scarlett would have to hire one that would be willing to have Ashley be a go-between between him and Scarlett, but Ashley wouldn't have to directly supervise any people and that might help him.

Scarlett discussed the benefits of diverting a large portion, almost a third, of the lumber to her building project with Rogers and they'd agreed Scarlett could afford to take on the venture. When Lieutenant Jeffries' brother John, called JJ, arrived in Atlanta on Thursday morning Scarlett met with him at the store and hired him to run the Peachtree mill on the spot.

Scarlett left the store at dinner time and went to the Hamilton house. As was customary, Scarlett was invited to stay for dinner. Scarlett did and told Ashley, India ad Aunt Pitty her plan to build houses.

"When John Rogers came to Atlanta his biggest struggle was housing and JJ will have to stay with Lieutenant Jeffries until he can build a home of his own," Scarlett nodded at India, "Atlanta needs more houses and I'm going to build them. Will you help me, Ashley?"

To everyone's surprise Ashley agreed. Scarlett swallowed her smirk. She hoped building something would help draw Ashley out of his stupor.

Scarlett didn't return to the store that afternoon. She and Ashley sat in the library and planned how they would manage building several houses at once. Ashley became enthusiastic when he discussed contacting a friend of his who is an architect in Boston to start designing. Scarlett thought it would be much easier to just hire an Atlanta architect, but decided to let Ashley manage the project as much as possible. 

Jeffries, much to Uncle Henry's chagrin, helped Scarlett purchased a large tract of land on the southern edge of the city very quickly. The land was far from her home on the northern edge, but the land had been cheaper and a much larger area was available on the southern edge of town, so Scarlett bought up enough land to build three dozen houses. As she sat in Jeffries' office and signed papers and filled out bank drafts she wondered if Rhett would be angry she was spending such a large amount of money.

Ashley began meeting with an architect and arranging for construction crews. Scarlett was happy, they would be ready to break ground and dig the cellars for the first 8 houses in early March.

§§§ - Friday, February 13, 1874

At the end of the second week of February Rhett was handed a letter when he arrived at his hotel. Rhett immediately checked the return address, Mrs. R. Butler. It felt thin in his hand, but it wasn't a telegram so Rhett knew nothing was wrong. Once he'd entered his room and removed his scarf, gloves, and overcoat, Rhett reclined in the armchair and slit the envelope open with a knife. Only one sheet fell out, there were no enclosed letters from any of the children. Rhett frowned as he unfolded the sheet and read Scarlett's brief note.

_Dear Rhett,_

_I am sorry for the short letter, the children and I will write longer letters soon, I am writing with a question. May I invite Lieutenant Michael Jeffries to your birthday supper? He will be India's beau as soon as mourning for Melly ends and they can court and he will round out the table nicely. _

_Yours,_

_Scarlett_

Rhett flipped the page to ensure that was the entirety of the note and frowned. For years Scarlett and Rhett had celebrated their birthdays either alone or with Melly and Ashley. Why was she planning a supper for his birthday now? To show all of Atlanta that he was there? To prove their marriage was real to the Old Guard? Who was she inviting? Why did she want to invite a beau India couldn't formally court yet? What was going on with Scarlett and India?

Rhett knew he had to respond carefully. He should just give Scarlett what she wanted in this regard. He was only going to be in Atlanta a short time and he had agreed to keep the gossip down. This was an effective way to do that, but something unsettled Rhett.

Rhett decided to work off his frustration with Mimi, his Scarlett substitute at Carrie Watson's. In the weeks he'd been in Chicago Rhett had only taken Mimi twice and both times he'd been unable to finish until he'd pulled out removed the prophylactic and had her suck him off. Rhett thought his inability to finish in her might be because she looked enough like Scarlett that the prophylactic was an intolerable barrier. Scarlett had no idea such things existed and she'd certainly never used one. Maybe Rhett would relieve his anxiety with Goldilocks instead. Rhett frowned deeply at the thought. He still spent most evenings at Carrie Watson's. It was where men of his ilk met to discuss and conduct their business, but he'd been taking the girls much less than he had before his visit to Atlanta. Too many of them reminded him too much or too little of Scarlett and that they sometimes had to work to make him hard, and that he often couldn't finish inside them unless he took them from behind on their knees like animals or he was sucked off, made him feel like an old man.

Rhett sighed and moved to get his overcoat. Once he felt calmer he would reply and give Scarlett what she wants. The thought made Rhett pause. That's what bothered him. Before Scarlett invited whoever she pleased to his home. Why was she asking him for his permission now? Was she pretending at being a good wife? No, Rhett realized as he recalled riding down Peachtree Street with Bonnie and telling Mrs. Merriwhether Scarlett had scallywags in the house and he didn't want Bonnie exposed to them, Scarlett wasn't playing at being a good wife, she was trying to preempt his embarrassing her. Rhett turned and took the seat at the desk to write her back.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed! Special thanks to EmmaElizaRose, Jennybenny2845, pmk kelly, livisa, Trukee Gal, gabyhyat, MissTricey, Kinderby! I'm back in LA and I feel like my interviews went well. I hope to have good news in a few weeks! Also, after this post we are back to our regular Wednesday & Saturday posting schedule. _


	10. Return Again, Friday, February 27, 1874

_Disclaimer: Oh how I wish they were mine. They aren't. I double checked. _

* * *

On Friday, February 27th Mammy was waiting on the porch when Pork brought the carriage with Scarlett and the three children up to the house.

"What is it, Mammy?" Scarlett asked after the children had been sent upstairs to do homework and play before supper.

"Cap'n Butler here," Mommy answered.

Scarlett's heart began to beat anxiously. Not only did she not expect Rhett for a few more days, she had her flux. She was bleeding and she would be tomorrow too. She couldn't have relations until Sunday. Would Rhett be upset? Scarlett wondered. Scarlett assumed they would resume their previous arrangement, but they hadn't discussed it before he left.

"Oh!" Scarlett gasped, "I didn't expect him so soon. I thought he would come Sunday. Where is he?"

"Library."

"Where are his trunks?"

"He's room."

Scarlett frowned and nodded, "Thank you, Mammy." Then she took a deep breath and steeled herself before walking over to the library.

When Scarlett entered the library, Rhett was standing in front of one of the bookshelves scanning the contents.

"Rhett?" Scarlett tentatively stepped inside, "welcome home."

"Scarlett," Rhett nodded at her as he turned to appraise her.

Scarlett stepped up to Rhett's side and he turned his eyes from the books he knew his wife never read to his wife herself. She looked nervous standing at his side.

"I didn't know when to expect you," Scarlett started, "I…" she shrugged and stopped.

Rhett stepped away from the shelf and seated himself on the large leather sofa. It was much more comfortable than the awful horsehair atrocities Scarlett had in the parlor. He'd have to see to it that the family retired to the library instead of the parlor after supper.

After standing awkwardly for a moment Scarlett went and sat next to him.

"The children will be so happy to see you," Scarlett took a deep breath, "Beau is here, he's been staying here since you left."

"Is this a permanent change?" Rhett drawled lazily.

"It will be until Ashley is better. I think he's starting to get better, but I don't want Beau there until Ashley is more himself and can care for Beau. Besides, Beau's sleep is so much better now that he's here. The first few weeks he had terrible nightmares, but last week he didn't get up a single time."

Rhett nodded.

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments as Scarlett wondered if their agreement was still in place. Scarlett hoped fervently it was, she missed having Rhett in her bed. She missed his warmth and his breathing and the comfort of having him lying beside her or laying her chest on his head. Scarlett was surprised, and loathe the admit it, but she also missed relations. Scarlett wondered if Rhett missed having relations with her while he was away and if he would be disappointed her flux was here.

Rhett watched Scarlett fidget out of the corner of his eye. He'd resolved on the train agreement or no agreement he was taking his wife. If she refused he would divorce her and let her marry Ashley. If he couldn't have her body, there was no point in staying married to her. He'd think about the children and whether he wanted to take them later. Perhaps he could take Wade and Ella, though Wade might not be happy, and Scarlett could keep Beau. Or maybe he would only take Ella, the little girl still loved him, and Scarlett could keep her son and Beau. Keeping Beau would give her a ready-made excuse to marry Ashley.

Rhett hadn't realized he'd clenched his hands into fists until he felt Scarlett rest her soft hands on them.

"Are you all right?" Scarlett asked softly, "was the journey difficult? Would you like something to drink?"

"No, I'll go greet the children and see you at supper."

Scarlett nodded and remained on the sofa in the library for a long time after Rhett had left. She guessed she wouldn't have to ask Rhett about their agreement. He would either follow her to her room tonight or he wouldn't, then she would know.

§

Supper was jovial. All three children talked boisterously about their school and friends. Wade told Rhett all about his progress with Honey and how the boys at school loved to come and ride Fancy. Rhett was surprised at the boy's good humor. He had expected Wade to be cold after weeks of the boy's perfunctory letters.

Rhett's eyes flashed to Scarlett and she smiled weakly. Rhett wondered if Scarlett was still afraid of her son having his own horse or if something else was on her mind. Rhett knew what he hoped she was thinking of.

After supper Rhett suggested they retire to the library instead of the parlor.

The children rushed ahead as Rhett extended his elbow to Scarlett.

"Why the library?" Scarlett asked as they walked.

"The seats are more comfortable."

As Rhett was seating Scarlett on the leather sofa Wade asked, "Uncle Rhett, a box came for you after you left. Would you like it?"

"Ah," Rhett smiled broadly, "that is actually for all of us."

"All of us?" Beau asked.

"Yes, all of us," Rhett answered, "Why don't you go get it."

Beau scampered to the office and back holding the large box.

"Would you like to open it, Ella?"

"Oh! Yes!" she answered running over.

Rhett helped Ella cut the strings and open the box. Inside were six puzzles.

"Puzzles!" the children cried.

"Oh, Rhett, they are lovely," Scarlett smiled at him, "thank you."

"Now children, the three of you must agree on which we are to do next and we will begin it tomorrow."

The children sat on the floor and discussed the merits of the various puzzles while Rhett seated himself on the sofa next to Scarlett and watched. He felt good to be home and for some reason that irritated him.

§§§

Once the children had been tucked into their beds, Rhett led Scarlett to her room. As soon as he closed the door behind them, Rhett pushed Scarlett against the wall and began kissing her.

"Oh, Rhett," Scarlett cried as she put her arms around his neck and kissed him back hungrily.

Rhett spun Scarlett around and began unbuttoning her dress. Once he'd removed and tossed her dress, petticoats, and corset away Scarlett turned to face him and said softly, "It's my time, I'm sorry."

Rhett kept his face perfectly blank as he said, "No matter."

Rhett placed Scarlett's hands on his waistcoat buttons and then began to tease her nipples through her chemise. Scarlett began to undress him and Rhett ached so for her he thought he might explode just from the feeling of her fingers on his pants' buttons. Once Rhett was naked he pulled Scarlett back to the bed with him and tossing his nightshirt away along with the blankets crawled in.

Rhett settled on his back and held a hand out to Scarlett. "Do you remember sucking off?" he asked softly.

Scarlett nodded.

Rhett placed her hand on his throbbing erection and Scarlett clambered over his leg and kissed the tip of his penis before drawing her tongue up its length. Rhett groaned. Her mouth might be the best feeling on earth.

When Scarlett took him into her mouth and sucked, Rhett groaned, "Oh god, Scarlett."

Rhett was practically writing underneath Scarlett's hot, wet mouth when his balls started to tighten. He forced himself not to shove his member down her throat as he spurted into her mouth. Scarlett clearly remembered his expectations because she kept her mouth closed over him.

When he finished spurting Rhett pulled Scarlett up his body and kissed her deeply.

When Rhett awoke hours later with morning light filtering through the cracks between the curtains Scarlett was draped over his chest breathing deeply and Rhett was hard.

Rhett turned Scarlett onto her back and woke her up by sucking her nipple into his mouth through her chemise. Scarlett awoke with a start and looked around wild-eyed before seeing him and whispering, "Rhett, you're here," and relaxing under his ministrations.

Saturday night Rhett's nightclothes and dressing gown were laid out on Scarlett's bed. As during Rhett's last stay, Mammy directed Prissy and Lou that any of Captain Butler's clothing that was discarded in the master suite should be put away there.

§§§ - Sunday, March 1, 1874

Rhett woke up Sunday hard and throbbing and woke Scarlett by sucking on her neck.

Having her warm soft body in his bed but being unable to thrust into her was driving Rhett mad.

"Rhett! That will leave a mark!" Scarlett cried rolling away.

Rhett laughed and then so did Scarlett.

"You are a varmint," she laughed. "We have Sunday supper tonight."

"I know," Rhett pinched her nipples, "Suck me off to start the day right."

"It's morning," Scarlett frowned.

"Why does that always bother you?" Rhett asked curiously.

"Because it's indecent, Rhett. We shouldn't … do … things in the morning."

Rhett's belly laugh shook the bed.

"Oh, my little innocent, plenty of people have relations in the morning." Rhett was feeling jovial until he noticed her leaning away, "besides," he continued, "I'm your husband and the proper time to have relations is whenever I want." Rhett was curious. Would Scarlett be angry? Would she refuse? Would she suck him off under protest?

Scarlett stared at Rhett before asking softly, "why do you like relations in the morning?"

"Because I wake up hard."

"Oh, I see," Scarlett frowned.

"And I want you."

Scarlett stared at Rhett for a moment as if trying to determine the meaning behind his response before leaning forward to kiss Rhett. Rhett teased her nipples and kissed along her jaw line until he could draw her earlobe into his mouth. Scarlett reached between them to trail her fingers up his erect manhood and then whispered against his lips, "Do you?"

"Hmmm?" Rhett asked.

Scarlett pulled away, "Do you want me?" she asked with her eyes focused on his chest.

Rhett sighed, he did want Scarlett, but he didn't think he wanted to tell her that. After a moment Scarlett sat up and began to turn away from Rhett. Rhett's heart started to pound in his chest for reasons he did not want to think about.

"Scarlett," Rhett barked as he caught her arm, "I do want you."

She smiled brilliantly at him and shifted the blankets so she could crawl between his legs. Scarlett wasn't as skilled as some whores, but her mouth did things to Rhett.

Scarlett kissed the tip of his penis before drawing it into her mouth.

"Stop," Rhett commanded as she pulled her mouth back and sucked.

Scarlett popped up looking worried, "did I hurt you?"

"No, lay on your side."

Scarlett moved to crawl up the bed and Rhett put his hand on her shoulder, "No, leave your head there, let me scoot down, you are going to keep sucking me off."

Scarlett looked confused as Rhett shifted them until they were both laying on their sides diagonally across the bed with her head near his manhood.

"Wait," Rhett smiled as he sat up and pulled Scarlett to him. Rhett lifted her chemise off of her and sucked each of her nipples into his mouth in turn before laying her back down.

Scarlett wasn't sure exactly what to do because the angle felt odd, but as she drew Rhett's manhood back into her mouth she felt him shudder.

Rhett slid his fingers into Scarlett's pantalets and found her nub. When he began to circle it lazily with his fingers Scarlett gasped and shuddered.

"Rhett? I…"

"Shhhhh, who cares about a little blood."

Scarlett froze. "Scarlett, as we've discussed before this is how I want to take my pleasure and you should just use your mouth and forget whatever drivel is in your head about decency. This is decent. Anything that happens between us in our marital bed is decent. Just enjoy it."

Scarlett nodded and turned reddened cheeks back to his manhood. Rhett continued to tease her nub as she worked him, savoring the vibrations of her groans on his manhood. Scarlett's teeth grazed him a few times when she shuddered under his ministrations, but Rhett didn't care. He was taking his wife tonight flux or no flux and he wanted her aching for him.

§§§ - Sunday, March 1, 1874

Sunday supper seemed interminably long to both Rhett and Scarlett. Scarlett ached for Rhett. She was ashamed that her mind often turned to thoughts of his member thrusting inside her and his warm weight on her and his breath on her neck. She seemed half on the edge with desire all day.

Rhett noticed how her gaze lingered on him. They were both relieved when Ashley, India and Pitty left and they could finally take the children upstairs to bed.

Scarlett kissed Rhett hungrily as soon as he closed the bedroom door behind them.

Rhett spun her and swiftly unbuttoned and unlaced her letting her skirts, bustle, and petticoats fall into a pool at her feet. Rhett lifted Scarlett from the mess of clothing and turned her in his arms. Scarlett wrapped her legs around him and kissed him.

Rhett held Scarlett up with one arm as he undid his fly with the other. As soon as he freed himself of his pants and drawers he turned and carried Scarlett to the bed. He seated her at the edge and pulled down her pantalets before shedding the remainder of his clothing and kneeling before her. When he licked her from opening to nub she shuddered and cried, "Oh!"

Rhett took his time teasing her. He reached up and tweaked her nipples while kissing her thighs and belly before returning his lips to her slit. Rhett buried his nose into her folds and breathed deeply of her scent. Then he wiped his wet nose on her inner thigh. As he looked at her glistening flesh he wanted to mark her. Rhett sucked her inner thigh, so close to the apex his cheek was wet from her curls, until he knew it would leave a mark. Then he licked and sucked her folds and nub until Scarlett writhed. Rhett smiled and turned to suck the skin from her other thigh into his mouth. He alternated in this fashion until she had three marks on each inner thigh and he was so hard it hurt.

Rhett stood and kissed his wife, dragging her to the middle of the bed. Then he laid on his back and took her hand.

"Come here."

"I am right here."

"Come sit on my face."

"Rhett, what?" Scarlett looked worried.

"You will like this, I promise. Turn around so you are above my face and suck me off while I suck you off."

"Rhett, I…" Scarlett trailed off. She ached for him, but this must be indecent. Wasn't he going to put his member inside her again?

"This is called play, my dear. I'll take you, don't worry, but we shall play first."

Rhett directed Scarlett to kneel over his face and rest her weight on her arms so she could suck him. Her mouth was much more tentative than it had been this morning, but Rhett knew she was nervous. She would get use to oral pleasures and be less inhibited with practice. He needed to reward her daring with her own pleasure.

Rhett pleasured her with his mouth until her arms trembled and he knew she would collapse. He sucked her bud and drove his tongue into her opening.

When Scarlett's arms started to tremble and her mouth held him but didn't suck he said, "good, my dear, come here."

Scarlett turned and Rhett repositioned them so she was on her back. When he slid into her she bucked up unto him crying, "Ahhh, oh!"

As soon as Rhett started thrusting his balls tightened, he wanted to last longer but couldn't. After a few thrusts Rhett exploded into Scarlett.

When their bodies had cooled and their breathing slowed, Scarlett kissed Rhett's cheek and whispered, "thank you."

"Thank you, my dear," Rhett whispered back, "I know having relations this way is new for you. I want you to enjoy relations, Scarlett."

Scarlett said nothing for a time as she thought about whether or not she enjoyed relations this way. Trying new things was both frightening and embarrassing but also everything Rhett had asked her to try so far had been pleasurable. Scarlett even enjoyed sucking Rhett off, when he didn't take too long, she loved the feeling of him trembling beneath her. Those were the only moments she'd ever felt like she had power over her husband. She had missed having relations with him terribly while he'd been away. Now Scarlett felt like she understood a bit of why Rhett had been so angry when she'd turned him out of their bed.

"Rhett?" Scarlett asked softly, "this…relations like this, is what you want?"

"Yes. Is it what you want?"

"Yes," Scarlett whispered into his neck, "I think so."

Rhett held Scarlett to his chest as he rolled onto his side. Scarlett tossed one of her legs of him and sighed. A few moments later Scarlett turned over in Rhett's arms so her back was flush against him. Rhett cradled her to him with both arms as they drifted to sleep.

§§§ - Monday, March 2, 1874

"Why did you want to invite India's beau, Scarlett?" Rhett asked as they lay in bed Monday night.

Scarlett smiled, "well, we are still in mourning for Melly, so he's not her beau yet. But he will be. That's why I've planned the supper for Friday instead of tomorrow. India and I will no longer be mourning Melly after the 5th, and so… well, I wanted to invite him on the first day he can really be her beau."

"Why do you care so much about India's quasi-beau?"

"Well, for one, you know I care about everybody's beaus. And for another I hired his brother to run the mill Ashley isn't running and I thought I might like to meet this man who I know will be family."

"India isn't your family."

"Oh, fiddle dee dee, Rhett. You know how it is. Ashley is my family, he's still considered a brother-in-law and he's Wade's uncle and she's his sister. I've no way of avoiding her. Especially now that she and Ashley both live at Aunt Pitty's."

"You could just avoid all of them."

"Rhett, do be reasonable. They are Wade's family. Besides, I promised Melly and I will never, never betray that promise. I… I already have some, I was to never let Ashley know I was taking care of him, but he made it so difficult and he knows."

"Oh, and how does the little gentleman know of your graciousness?" Rhett sneered.

Scarlett frowned. Rhett was making fun of her, but Scarlett knew he also wanted the answer to this question.

"I'll thank you to stop making fun, Rhett. I had to tell him I'd still pay him his salary but as he wasn't going to the mill and Mr. Rogers was spending so much time running it for him, that I was going to hire someone else."

Rhett laughed mirthlessly, "and how did the honorable Mr. Wilkes take the news."

"Naturally, he was upset."

"Naturally," Rhett mocked.

Scarlett's heart started pounding. She missed talking to Rhett so much. Perhaps, she thought, perhaps now she could tell Rhett how difficult Ashley was making things. Maybe Rhett would understand.

"Honestly, Rhett. I've no idea how he thought he was going to buy food or clothing or gas or wood. It's like he thinks… well, like he thinks I mint money at the mills. He had the gall to tell me I needn't pay for everything. As if I would let them all starve! How could he not know I've been supporting Pitty's household for years?"

Rhett laughed and hugged Scarlett to him.

They laid together in silence for a time, Rhett running his fingers through Scarlett's hair.

When Scarlett's breathing and grown deep and even Rhett whispered, "my dear, sometimes I underestimate you."

Scarlett's last thought before drifting to sleep was, he does love me.

§§§ - Tuesday, March 3, 1874

Scarlett insisted Rhett plan the menu for the supper on his actual birthday so on Tuesday evening Rhett, Scarlett and the three children sat down to a supper of roasted lamb and potatoes along with peas and biscuits. For dessert they had one of Mrs. Merriwether's pecan pies and ice cream.

After supper the family trooped into the library to give Rhett gifts. Wade and Beau each presented Rhett with a book; Wade gave Rhett _Around the World in Eighty Days _by Jules Verne and Beau gave Rhett _The Fiend's Delight _by Ambrose Bierce. Ella gave Rhett the first sampler pillow she'd completed. It said _home is where the heart is_and was full of uneven stitching but Rhett felt a rush of affection for his stepdaughter and crushed her to his chest after opening it.

Scarlett gave Rhett a box of his favorite Cuban cigars and a scarf she'd knitted him of fine black wool. Rhett kissed Scarlett's cheek as she wrapped the scarf around his neck.

Wade stared on in consternation. Was his stepfather going to stay? Wade had been so worried Uncle Rhett would never return he'd been thrilled when Rhett actually returned. But now that Rhett had been home for a few days and Wade saw how his mother seemed to glow, Wade began to worry about when Uncle Rhett would inevitably leave again. What could Wade do though? He couldn't make his stepfather stay. He would have to protect his mother again when Uncle Rhett left and make sure she knows she is not alone.

§§§ - Friday, March 6, 1874

As it turned out, the only addition to their usual Sunday Supper gathering on Rhett's birthday was Jeffries. Rhett found him to be pleasant company and noted with some amusement that Jeffries and Henry were overly polite to one another. Scarlett had seated the children as if they were adults and Ella was between the two gentlemen, completely oblivious to any tension. Rhett could understand Scarlett's choice there. It wasn't socially proper to seat India next to Lt. Jeffries and Scarlett was much too smart to seat Pitty & Henry in close proximity to each other, and that left Ella.

To Rhett, his birthday supper felt no different from the Sunday supper the same group, with the exception of Lieutenant Jeffries, had had just a few nights ago and would have again the day after tomorrow. Ashley was sullen and morose, Pitty was twittering, India was formal and polite. Rhett was pleased that Jeffries was an excellent conversationalist and the conversation had flowed pleasantly throughout the supper. Rhett was feeling peaceful as Pork began setting slices of cake in front of everyone.

"And how long will you be in town, Captain Butler?" Jeffries voice boomed over the table.

Damn. Rhett thought.

Jeffries' question made Scarlett glance swiftly down to her plate. Scarlett hadn't asked Rhett how long he would stay, she'd hoped that somehow if she didn't he would just stay.

"Unfortunately, only a short while. My business in Chicago took so long I was unable to visit my mother in Charleston. I must take a short trip to see her and then I will be home again for Scarlett's birthday at the end of the month."

If Scarlett noticed his use of the word home, she made no indication. Rhett did want to see his mother, but he also wanted to escape this house. He didn't think he could stand to take Scarlett for a month and not be ensnared by her. And when he was with her he needed her. He could go for quite some time without bedding a whore, but he found with Scarlett's willing body so close, he wanted her every day.

Wade became stone faced at his stepfather's pronouncement. So, he was leaving again and soon. Wade spent the rest of the supper glancing between his mother and stepfather.

§§§

Later that night as their bodies cooled Scarlett laid with her head on Rhett's chest and one arm and leg draped casually over him. Running her fingers up and down Rhett's side Scarlett asked, "You won't stay until my birthday?"

"No."

Scarlett's eyes filled with tears and she tucked her face down so Rhett could not see it.

"It's only a few weeks, Rhett and—"

"Scarlett," Rhett interrupted, "I won't stay. I'm leaving on Monday to go to Charleston to see my mother, but I will come back for your birthday."

Scarlett nodded and moved her body off of his. She curled into a ball on her side facing away from him and Rhett sighed. Over a month was too long to stay.

"I'll be gone less than two weeks, Scarlett. I'll return the 22nd, over a week before your birthday."

Scarlett said nothing.

"I'll be in time for Sunday supper," Rhett promised as he turned and slid his left arm under Scarlett's neck. Then wrapping his right arm around her Rhett pulled her body back into his. Scarlett relaxed her legs some so he could nestle his behind hers, but she didn't wrap his arm tightly around her belly the way she usually did. Rhett bent his left elbow so he could awkwardly lay his hand Scarlett's arms. She left them clenched under her chin as Rhett held her bicep. They both laid awake for a long time listening to the other breathe.

* * *

Author's_ Note: I am super not into song-fics but the title of this chapter comes from a UU song called Return Again. The pertinent lyrics are: "Return again, r__eturn again, return to the land of your soul, return to who you are, return to what you are..." When I was deciding what to name this chapter, this song popped into my head. I think it fits perfectly. __Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Special thanks to _gabyhyatt_, _pmk_ kelly, _gumper_, _livisia_, flwrs81, Miss _Tricey_, COCO B, Kinderby, _aethelfraed_, EmmaElizaRose, Truckee Gal, Conlyn70, wiolka, Nuala Lady of the Lake, the Daughter of Jezebel, and guest. _


	11. Alone Again, Monday, March 9, 1874

_Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me. Sadly. _

* * *

§§§ - Monday, March 9, 1874

Rhett said goodbye after breakfast Monday morning as Pork was returning to take Rhett to the station to catch a noon train after dropping the children at school and Scarlett at the store. Ella and Beau hugged Rhett tightly and wished him safe travels.

"Hurry home soon, Uncle Rhett," Ella added.

Rhett cupped her cheek, "I'll be gone less than two weeks. I'll only miss one Sunday supper."

"But two Saturdays? I want to go to the park," Ella whined.

"Darling—" Scarlett started, but Rhett cut her off, "Ella, honey, we will go to the park the Saturday I am home. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Ella said glumly.

"Good girl," Rhett smiled and kissed her forehead.

Rhett stood and turned to Wade who had been standing to the side with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Goodbye, sir," Wade nodded. Rhett eyed his stepson recalling all of the years Wade would have run forward and flung his arms around Rhett.

"Son," Rhett said in as gentle a voice as he could manage, "I must go visit my mother. I'll be gone only a short while. I think you understand something of the obligations sons have towards their mothers, don't you?"

Wade's eyes flitted to his own mother who stood with one arm on Ella's back and her other hand holding Beau's and he nodded.

"Good, I know you are a good son to your mother, as I must be to mine. I'll be home soon."

"Home?" Wade echoed with an edge to his voice.

Rhett smiled, but instead of comforting him, his smile sent a little thrill of anxiety through Wade. Then Rhett turned to Scarlett without saying another word to Wade.

"Goodbye, my dear," Rhett said as he pulled Scarlett's body against his. Without any thought, Scarlett's arms left Ella and Beau to wrap around Rhett's neck. Rhett leaned down and kissed her lips softly once.

"Rhett!" Scarlett gasped, coloring, "the children—"

"Should see how a husband takes his leave of his wife." Rhett interrupted smoothly as he mastered the impulse to glance at Wade. "Now, Scarlett, if you need something, anything, don't write. Telegram. I'm gone too short a time to bother with letters, understand?" he asked as he caressed Scarlett's cheek.

Scarlett nodded and grasped Rhett's wrist, "Please give your mother my regards," she added as she searched Rhett's eyes. The she smiled and dropped his wrist, "Safe travels, Rhett."

"Thank you, my dear. Take care," Rhett kissed her cheek and stepped away.

"Come along, children," Scarlett said in a falsely bright voice, "it's time for school."

After the children had been ushered outside, Scarlett paused at the threshold and turned back to Rhett. She opened her mouth, but said nothing, then she turned and closed the door behind her. Rhett stood in the hall for a long moment wondering what Scarlett had wanted to say and what stopped her from saying it.

§§§ - Tuesday, March 10, 1874

Rhett's train had been delayed twice and he wasn't shown into his mother's house until after suppertime on Tuesday.

"Well, darling," Eleanor cooed as she came into the foyer to greet her son, "I did not expect to see you. Are you alone?"

"I am."

"Where's Scarlett?" Eleanor asked pointedly, "and the children?"

"In Atlanta," Rhett answered, "Mother—"

"And why have you come?" Eleanor whispered sharply.

"I came to see you, mother, because I was unable to over the holidays as I was in Atlanta," Rhett smiled as he bent to kiss his mother's cheek. That was the truth and his mother could read into it what she would.

"I see," Eleanor smiled up at her son, "well, welcome. You look quite bedraggled. Did you have a difficult journey?"

"No, mother. Just a very long one," Rhett answered as he removed his overcoat.

Eleanor stepped in front of Rhett so he couldn't move farther into the house, "Shhhh, Rosemary, Ross, and Sarah are here, Sarah's in the family way. Be nice. We will speak tomorrow." Eleanor explained dropping her voice to a whisper. Then raising her voice to a normal volume, she said, "Rosa will see to it your things are taken up, your siblings are here, come say hello." Eleanor shot Rhett a look before turning to precede him into the parlor.

Rhett was in no mood to see his brother or his obsequious wife, but he supposed it was the trade-off for being able to postpone discussing Scarlett with his mother.

The Eleanor Butler, her children, and one of her daughters' in law spent a pleasant evening together. Rosa brought Rhett a tray of supper and the five spent the evening discussing Charleston society and Ross and Sarah's plans for their new child.

Everyone's eyes flitted to and quickly away from Rhett any time the baby came up. All were concerned about Rhett's memories of Bonnie. But Rhett said nothing impolite, he smiled and joined the conversation for the duration of the evening. Rhett was irked to find his thoughts weren't on Bonnie. Some of the things Sarah said sent stabbing bolts of pain thought Rhett's heart, but mostly her words had the effect of reminding Rhett of Scarlett's plans for Bonnie while she'd been carrying her. Rhett recalled lying in bed with Scarlett's back on his chest and his hands on her protruding belly while Scarlett told him how if their baby was a girl she would be the belle of all of Atlanta. Rhett squeezed his eyes closed, Bonnie would have been, too.

§§§ – Friday, March 13, 1874

"Have you made amends to Scarlett and your children for your cruelty?" Eleanor's voice startled Rhett out of his thoughts at the breakfast table a few mornings later.

"Good morning to you too, mother," Rhett drawled thinking he was surprised his mother had waited so long to pounce, "it is a lovely day, isn't it?"

"Don't be coy with me, Rhett Butler," Eleanor snapped, "you heard me. Have you made amends to your wife?"

"Mother," Rhett sighed, "I have—"

Rhett stopped the lie he was about to tell his mother at her glare. "I have not it quite the way I am sure you are hoping for," Rhett amended.

"Then why are you in my house? Did I not make myself clear the last time you were here?"

"Mother, I don't see what you are riled up about. Scarlett and I have returned to the normal relationship of man and wife," Rhett was unsuccessful at concealing his exasperation.

"Honestly, Rhett! Do you mean you tell me you think having relations with your wife is the same thing as making amends to her! Did you apologize for your cruelty? No, you bedded her! Did you even discuss anything we discussed with Scarlett?" Eleanor stopped speaking. Rhett had made his face a careful blank.

"Rhett," Eleanor began again softly. "I know that you did not see a respectful relationship between husband and wife as a child. Your father" Eleanor frowned as if choosing her words carefully before continuing, "your father had his flaws, but you have said over and over that you were determined not to repeat his mistakes. When I look at you now, when I hear you speak of your wife that way, as if her feelings mean nothing, I see your father in you like never before. Having been married to a stubborn Butler tyrant myself, perhaps I am the only woman who can tell you, who can show you something of that experience. I have no doubt your wife lives in fear of you, of what you'll do, of when you'll lash out, of what you'll say or do the next time you do lash out at her. She's afraid, Rhett. She's afraid of you the way you were afraid of your father. And still, she loves you. Not in the same way you loved your father. She's in love with you enough to want to stay. I think Scarlett is one of the few women strong enough to leave a man. Or to survive you leaving her. Yet for some reason she wants to be with you where most women are trapped in their marriages with their brutish husbands."

Rhett ran his fingers through his hair as images swam before him. Scarlett silently crying into his chest the night he'd made their relations all about her pleasure, Scarlett saying she would never disgrace the family with a divorce, Scarlett telling Wade he had to leave because of his pain, Rhett standing up to his father as a boy and being whipped.

Rhett remembered how once when he was nine he'd scored perfect marks on an exam and was excitedly waiting to show his father knowing that for once his father would be proud. John Butler had been in his study with four friends playing cards when Rhett rushed in after school. In his excitement Rhett hadn't noticed the furniture had been moved so the men could play and Rhett kicked a spittoon spilling tobacco laden foulness all over the rug. John had grabbed Rhett by the neck and shoved him into the wall shouting, "Watch where you are going, boy!" One of the men must have pulled the bell pull, or the sound of Rhett's body hitting the wall had been louder than Rhett thought because his mother rushed in saying, "Oh, I'm so sorry, John, I told Rhett to run in here and show you his excellent marks and he must have taken me too literally. I'm sorry. Gentlemen is there anything else I can have brought in? Sunny will be right in to clear up this mess." John released Rhett who slid down the wall and sat on the floor gasping. Rhett remembered how his father had grabbed his mother's arm so hard he'd been able to see the handprint on her arm days later and leaned over her forcing her back into the wall. His father had put his face close to his mothers and said something Rhett either hadn't heard or didn't remember. Then his mother had been leading Rhett into the kitchen where someone had set a plate of raspberry cookies in front of him. Rhett hadn't liked raspberries or ever run to his father after that day.

"I don't beat her, mother," Rhett said softly. "I've never once hit her or the children. I'm not my father."

"You hit her with words, my son. And you hit her with coldness."

Rhett clenched his jaw. His mother could not possibly understand what was between him and Scarlett.

"She isn't afraid of me."

Eleanor sighed, "No, she isn't afraid you will beat her. But she is afraid you will hurt her. And as your own childhood should have taught you, she wouldn't fear your words or your coldness if you hadn't cut her with them. You've hurt her and she's protected herself. It's an old, old story, Rhett."

"Mother—"

"Rhett, I would like to come and visit you and Scarlett and the children in Atlanta."

"Of course, mother. You are welcome any time," Rhett attempted to smile at his mother but they both knew he was displeased at the suggestion.

"I think June would be a good time, don't you?" Eleanor asked grinning brightly.

Rhett swore silently to himself. His mother was going to visit on the anniversary of Bonnie's death, forcing him to be there.

"June would be lovely mother," Rhett replied coolly, "I'll tell Scarlett and the children to expect you."

§§§ - Wednesday, March 11, 1874

Scarlett woke up Wednesday with a thrill of excitement. They were breaking ground on the first of her new houses today. Scarlett and Rogers didn't go to the mills or the lumber office, but met at the lot that morning. On Sunday, wanting to ensure he would be there and on time, Scarlett had offered to pick Ashley up on the way, but Ashley had declined saying Uncle Peter would take him. Scarlett was relieved to see Ashley standing and speaking to some of the workers when she arrived and walked up to Mr. Rogers.

The ground breaking itself was a less momentous moment than Scarlett anticipated. The men had simply gone to one corner of the marked off square and begun digging, but Scarlett felt lighthearted when she returned to the Peachtree house that afternoon.

§§§ - Sunday, March 15, 1874

Scarlett was in the parlor waiting for everyone to arrive for supper when Prissy showed Ashley and Aunt Pitty in.

"Where's India?" Scarlett asked as she rose to greet them.

"She went to Sunday supper at Mister Jeffries. Now that mourning Melly is over, she felt she could accept," Pitty prattled. Ashley turned white as Pitty spoke. Although her mourning for Melly had ended Scarlett was still in light mourning for Bonnie and she hadn't given much thought to the end of the last of mourning for Melly. Pitty's period of mourning for her niece had been two months and Scarlett hadn't even noticed when Pitty had returned to wearing color in November as Pitty's dresses were too drab and unstylish for Scarlett to pay any attention to.

The silence was uncomfortable and Scarlett tugged at the sleeve of her black mourning dress self-consciously. Thankfully the children broke the silence by bounding into the parlor making a ruckus.

All three children spoke at once as they swarmed Scarlett.

"Shhh! Children, please! I can't understand any of you when you all talk at once. One at a time please," Scarlett demanded.

"She cheated!" Beau cried at the same time Ella cried, "I did not! Mother, I—" Scarlett glanced at Wade who nodded slightly. Ella had cheated at something. Oh, well, Scarlett thought. I'll discuss it with her later.

"Children!" Scarlett interrupted their chatter, "Aunt Pitty and Uncle Ashley are here for supper and you haven't greeted them."

The three children turned as one and greeted Pitty and Ashley.

Once the six of them were seated at the long dining room table a short time later Scarlett found herself struggling to pay attention to the conversation around her. Ashley and Pitty were discussing school with the children and Scarlett had already heard everything the children could possibly have to say about school and then some so let her mind wander. Her eyes kept resting on the vacant seat at the head of the table. Scarlett wished Rhett were there. She knew he would be home one week from today, after all, he promised and when he made a real promise like that he seldom let her down. Scarlett thought back on all of the years she would have taken drastic measures to have a supper alone with Ashley and the children, and even Aunt Pitty this way, as if she and Ashley were the husband and wife. But now Scarlett could only wonder at how she'd thought she wanted that. How could she have been so foolish?

"Scarlett?"

"Scarlett, dear?" Ashley's voice broke into her thoughts.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, excuse me. I was woolgathering."

"Are you all right dear? You look a little faint," Pitty asked. Scarlett tried not to roll her eyes, Pitty always thought everyone looked a little faint.

"Oh, yes, Auntie," Scarlett lied, "I am quite well."

"Scarlett," Ashley said cautiously, "are you sure? You do look a little peaked."

"I am sure," Scarlett smiled falsely.

Wade eyed his mother for the remainder of the supper. She did look a little pale.

After Aunt Pitty and Uncle Ashley left Wade waited in the hallway in his nightclothes while his mother kissed Ella and Beau good night.

"Mother—" Wade started.

"Oh!" Scarlett gasped bringing her hand to her throat, "Wade, you startled me! Why aren't you in your room. It's bed time, darling."

"I know mother. May we speak for a moment?"

"Of course, darling," Scarlett answered as she began to walk Wade to his room.

"Mother, you don't look well."

"I'm all right, darling, I just have a bit of a headache."

Wade said nothing more until they were in his room.

"Get in bed, sweetheart," Scarlett directed.

Wade climbed into his bed and pulled the sheet up to his chin. "Mother?" he asked holding out his hand to her.

Scarlett took Wade's hand and sat on the side of his bed, "What is it, Wade?"

"Mother, I don't think you have a headache, I think you are sad Uncle Rhett left."

Scarlett smiled wanly, "I am sad that he left, but he will be back and I do have a headache. Go to sleep now and don't trouble yourself anymore about this."

"Mother, Uncle Rhett doesn't treat you well. He leaves you all the time. He doesn't care if you are sad, and—"

"Shhh," Scarlett smoothed the hair off of Wade's forehead, "Uncle Rhett does care, darling, he—"

"He's just in a lot of pain. I know. You said that before. But he doesn't treat you well. Everyone knows it."

"Everyone?" Scarlett asked curiously.

"Some of the other boys at school say that he's left you. I've told them he hasn't, but they say that everyone knows you weren't giving him relations and that he took another woman." Wade's face fell, "Mother, did he?"

"Oh, Wade, I…" Scarlett's heart was pounding. How could she explain to her son that he had, but the now he promised he wouldn't go to her if Scarlett gave him relations? What did Wade even know of relations? Scarlett had been too embarrassed to ask Will or Ashley what they'd told Wade when Wade had started having men's troubles.

"Mother?"

"Wade, I…" Scarlett started to feel light headed. She had no idea what to say.

"Mother, I don't think you should let Uncle Rhett come home any more. You should be with someone else."

"It isn't that easy, Wade."

"Yes, it is. You could leave him and be with someone else. Be with Uncle Ashley!"

"Wade," Scarlett warned, but Wade rushed on. "I know you don't love Uncle Ashley that way, but don't you think you could be happy? He would take better care of you than Uncle Rhett and he would be here and then Beau would really be your son."

"Wade, you are right. I do love your Uncle Ashley, but not that way. I do not want to be married to someone I don't love."

"But you do love him," Wade insisted.

"Not…not the way a woman loves her husband, Wade. It's a different kind of love, just like the love you have for me is a different kind of love than the love you have for Ella."

Wade nodded solemnly, "And you love Uncle Rhett that way? The husband and wife way?"

"I do, Wade, I do," Scarlett stroked her son's cheek and smiled down at him.

"But why?"

"It's hard to explain, darling. It's almost…almost physical like hunger. I love him. I want to be with him, to be near him and tell him about my day, I want to hear about his, I want to raise you children with him."

"But you are raising us alone," Wade insisted.

"No, I'm not alone. He will come back, Wade. He will be here next Sunday like he promised."

"Then how long will he stay?"

Scarlett's face fell, "I don't know."

"And after he leaves, when will he come back?"

"I don't know."

"How do you know he will, then?" Wade asked sitting up.

"I just do. I know that he loves me, Wade, I know it. I also know that your Uncle Rhett has always done things in his own time. During the war he used to just disappear one day without saying goodbye and weeks and sometimes months would go by before I saw him again. But he always comes back."

"How do you know he loves you, Mother? Maybe he is pretending."

Scarlett pulled Wade into her arms, "It's hard to explain, Wade. But I'm certain."

"I'm not," Wade said and burst into tears.

Scarlett shifted them so they were laying on their sides and she held Wade to her as he cried. As Wade wept in her arms Scarlett thought about the numerous times Rhett held her just like this. How could she explain to her son that this was how she knew? The way Rhett held her and stroked her and comforted her, something deep in Scarlett knew that those things were how Rhett had been trying to tell her he loved her for years. Scarlett hadn't understood then, but she did now. How could she make Wade understand? Just like during the war, Rhett would come home again and again because he loved her.

* * *

Author's_ Note: __Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews and PMs. They mean so much to me and keep me writing. Special thanks to christag, __Aethelfraed, MissTricey, francis-rose, __EmmaElizaRose, Conlyn70, pmk kelly, T__rukee Gal, COCO B, __Gabyhyatt, __Livisa, jennybenny2845, kinderby, and guests 1, 2, 3. _


	12. Family, Sunday, March 22, 1874

_Disclaimer: Although I wish all of this was mine, it isn't. I'm sure._

* * *

§§§ - Sunday, March 22, 1874

"Take it upstairs, Pork," Rhett nodded at his trunk as he stepped into the entryway of the Peachtree monstrosity his wife called a home.

"Where are Scarlett and the children?" Rhett asked Mammy as she bustled forward to welcome Rhett home.

"Welcome home, Cap'n Butler," Mammy said, "they in the back wid the ponies."

Rhett nodded and walked through the house to exit through the conservatory doors. As he placed his hand on the handle what he saw stopped him.

Scarlett sat on one of the chaise lounges with knitting resting in her lap. Wade lead a saddled Honey around the backyard on a rope while Ella and Beau trotted beside the horse. Rhett could only see Scarlett's profile, but she looked breathtaking. Her face seemed softer somehow and her genuine joy at spending time with her children shone through her bright smile. Where was this woman when he'd married her almost six years ago? Rhett wondered. Still a child, Rhett thought frowning to himself. How old had she been? She would be 29 next Tuesday, so she'd been just over 23 when they'd married. When Rhett was 23 he had been running wild in the gold fields of California and Scarlett had been entering her third marriage with two children, three aunts, and at least three Wilkes in tow. It must be awful to be a woman Rhett mused as he watched Wade feed Honey sugar cubes and then climb into the saddle.

Rhett didn't want to startle the boy or the horse so he stood in the conservatory and watched until Wade had ridden the horse a few laps around the gargantuan backyard and dismounted. During that time Ella had climbed onto Scarlett's lap and Beau had taken a seat near Scarlett's feet.

"Here I am, my dear, back in time for Sunday supper as promised," Rhett announced as he stepped out onto the porch.

"Uncle Rhett! Uncle Rhett!" Beau and Ella shouted as they leaped from Scarlett's chair and raced to him.

Rhett bent over and scooped Ella into his arms. The way Ella flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek made Rhett feel light. He hugged Beau and then stood, carrying Ella and leading Beau, back to Scarlett's chaise.

"Welcome home, Rhett," Scarlett smiled up at him.

Ella squealed as Rhett held her tightly as he leaned over and kissed Scarlett's cheek. "Thank you, my dear," Rhett replied.

"Would you like anything? Dinner?" Scarlett asked Rhett as he hugged Beau into his side.

"No, thank you. I had dinner on the train."

Scarlett nodded and looked out to the yard where Wade was leading Honey back to the stable.

"He's very good with her," Rhett commented, seeing where Scarlett's eyes focused.

"He is," Scarlett smiled, "I'm very proud of him."

Rhett nodded and then looked between Wade and Scarlett. He was angry his stepson had not come to greet him, but he did not want to raise the issue in front of Beau and Ella.

"Were you worried I would be late for supper?" Rhett asked as he shifted Ella to one hip and drew a chair next to Scarlett.

"No," Scarlett turned and smiled at Rhett, "I knew you wouldn't break your promise to be back."

"Was Wade?"

"I think so," Scarlett nodded returning her eyes to the stable into which the son in question had disappeared.

Rhett nodded as he shifted Ella to his lap and sat in the chair he'd drawn up next to Scarlett. Scarlett patted a spot near her knees and Beau resumed his seat on her chair.

"Was the train exciting, Uncle Rhett?" Beau asked.

"It most certainly was," Rhett started. Rhett regaled Ella and Beau with his stories of the food and the scenery as Scarlett smiled. As he did, Rhett's eyes watched to see when Wade would return.

§

Wade greeted his stepfather formally as the family entered the dining room for Sunday supper. Rhett was irritated. When he'd been home two weeks ago Wade's initial excitement at Rhett's return had faded into the same coolness Wade was demonstrating now. This time however, there was no initial excitement on Wade's part. Rhett thought about how he might best put an end to this churlish behavior as he led Scarlett in to supper.

During supper Rhett watched as Wade spoke excitedly to Scarlett, Pitty, India and Ashley, but was reserved with Rhett. He wondered if Scarlett noticed her son's behavior when he saw her eyes flick between him and Wade for the umpteenth time.

Rhett meant to ask Scarlett when they went to bed that night but once he'd pulled her into his arms and felt her mouth open under his and her body tremble in his arms all thoughts of anything other than Scarlett left his head.

§§§ - Monday, March 23, 1874

Monday afternoon Rhett was sitting on the back porch contemplating how to handle his troublesome stepson when Scarlett and the children returned from the store and school. They all trooped onto the porch to greet him and then Scarlett sent the children to the nursery to finish their homework before supper. Once they were gone Scarlett seated herself on the side of Rhett's chair. Rhett absent mindedly reached out and laid his hand on her thigh.

"Rhett, will you take Wade to your tailor? He's grown so much these past few months & his clothes can't be let out anymore, he needs new ones. I think it's time he went to a proper tailor."

"Certainly, I will. It is time. Perhaps I should do something special with Wade as well. The boy seems quite reserved with me of late."

Scarlett sighed, "He...he, ah, well, Rhett, he's angry with you."

"Oh," Rhett drawled slowly, "just what is the boy angry about?"

Scarlett looked down and said nothing.

"Scarlett?" Rhett squeezed her thigh gently, "What is Wade angry about?"

Scarlett squared her shoulders and raised her chin before turning on her husband and answering, "He's angry because it hurts me when you leave and he sees himself as the man of the house and feels he needs to protect me."

"And I assume he has no understanding of your part in why I no longer reside here?" Rhett asked, schooling his face into a careful blank.

Scarlett stared at Rhett's glower for a moment before answering, "I've told him quite a lot has happened between us and I know he's heard gossip. But, no, Rhett, he doesn't really understand how we hurt each other. How could he? Sometimes I don't understand it myself."

Scarlett rose and turned to go inside, but Rhett gripped her skirt. She turned back and met his eyes, but when he said nothing she broke free from his grasp and went inside without another word.

§§§ – Tuesday, March 23, 1874

Rhett informed Wade he would miss school to spend the day with Rhett at breakfast the very next morning.

Wade clenched his jaw and looked at his mother who smiled softly and said, "You need new clothes, darling, and I know you and Uncle Rhett will have a lovely day together."

Wade said nothing but nodded his understanding.

After breakfast Wade stood awkwardly in the hall as Scarlett, Ella, and Beau said their goodbyes and got into the carriage for Pork to take them to school and the store.

"Well, son," Rhett said once they had gone, "let us be off."

Wade didn't turn to look at his stepfather.

"Why are you doing this?" Wade asked petulantly.

"Taking you to the tailor? Your mother asked me to."

Wade shook his head and asked, "Aren't we going to wait for Port to return with the carriage?"

"No. We'll take Fancy and Lightening," Rhett named their horses.

"To the tailor?"

"Yes. We shall ride to the tailor and after you have been measured we will spend the afternoon riding. I want to see how you handle Fancy. Go change into your riding gear and meet me at the stable doors in five minutes," Rhett directed as they started ascending the stairs to change.

_§_

Wade had never been to the tailor before. Mammy and Aunt Melly and Lou had always seen to Wade's clothes, so he found the process of being measured by a stranger a little odd and difficult to stand still for. Once the measuring was over, Wade loved selecting material for his suits and cravats. Uncle Rhett was allowing him four men's cravats instead of boys' neckties and Wade was thrilled. He selected one in emerald green, his mother's color, one in a soft baby's blue, for Bonnie, one a golden color that his eyes kept coming back to and finally a black silk. Uncle Rhett spoke to Wade as if he were an adult and by the time they left the tailor with orders for several pairs of pants, waistcoats, frock coats, stockings, neckties, the four cravats, and several pairs of drawers Wade felt light and happy.

Wade was smiling as he and Uncle Rhett mounted their horses to go riding.

"Where shall we go?" he asked, adjusting his hat to better shield his eyes form the sun.

"This way, the woods by your mother's mills are a favorite riding spot of mine," Rhett answered as he turned Lightening to lead Wade out of the city and into the woods.

Rhett and Wade galloped along the wooded roads for almost an hour until Rhett signaled Wade to slow. After slowing the horses Rhett led Wade to a stream and dismounted. Wade copied his stepfather and the two stood in uncomfortable silence as the horses drank.

"You seem to be handling Fancy quite well, Wade," Rhett drawled.

"Thank you, sir," Wade's eyes remained on Fancy as he answered.

Rhett appraised the boy as Wade studiously didn't look at Rhett.

"What are you so angry about, son?" Rhett asked kindly.

"Sir," Wade turned to his stepfather open-mouthed, "I…I'm not angry." Wade lied.

Rhett chuckled, "Wade, I'm asking you, man to man. You weren't pleased to see me when I returned home Sunday, why is that?"

Wade said nothing.

"Wade, this is your chance. Tell me the truth."

"The truth is, sir, I wish you'd either leave my mother or stay, but stop making her worry!"

"Has your mother told you she's unhappy with our current arrangement?"

Wade scoffed.

"Wade?" Rhett asked again, his voice hard.

"No, sir, but she cried herself to sleep again after you left."

"How do you know?"

"I listened outside her door."

"Why on earth—"

"So, if she screamed I could get Mammy!" Wade interjected, "Mammy's too old to listen at mother's door and her room is too far away to hear mother scream for you."

Rhett nodded. "Wade," he began carefully, "your mother knew where I was, when I would be back, and how to reach me. I have business interests all over and must often travel. I cannot be by her side every minute."

Wade frowned, "I know, sir. But, well, it's just…you're the man. You are supposed to protect her and she cries over you. And sometimes I wish you'd just leave her be…after you are gone for a while she gets stronger again. But then you come back, and she's happy, for a while, until you leave …"

"You think I am failing in my responsibilities to protect her?"

Wade bit his lip and looked down, Rhett stifled the smile he could feel at the sight of the boy looking so like his mother.

"Wade, again, this is your chance to speak to me man to man. After today, we will not speak of this again. I am the man and you are my child. Say what you need to because this is your last chance."

"Uncle Rhett," Wade sighed, again a perfect unintentional imitation of his mother, "this time was better, she only cried a night or two. But I wish you wouldn't make my mother cry. She loves you, but you are so mean to her, and I wish she didn't."

"Oh, and how do you know she loves me, Wade?"

Wade rolled his eyes and then quickly looked away knowing he was skirting the edge of his stepfather's patience.

"Wade?" the edge in Rhett's voice was sharper than he'd intended.

"I can see it. I see the way she looks at you. She always looks so happy to see you. She doesn't look at anybody else that way. Besides," Wade continued, looking down at where he'd started digging his boot toe into the soft grass, "I asked her."

"And what did she tell you?"

"That she loves you."

Rhett snorted and Wade's head shot up, "You don't believe me!"

"No," Rhett soothed, "I do. What else did your mother tell you?"

Wade shrugged.

"And what did you tell her?" Rhett asked feeling he'd hit upon the heart of the boy's reticence.

"I told her she should let you divorce her and marry someone else! Someone who will treat her well and never make her cry!" Wade shouted defiantly.

"I see, and your mother disagreed with this?"

"Yes!" Wade shouted and Rhett could see the despair on his face, "she said she didn't want to be with someone she doesn't love and she loves you! Even though you make her cry…" Wade's voice trailed off and he shrugged.

Rhett could see by the flush of the boy's cheeks and the sheen in his eyes the conversation was at its end.

"Wade," Rhett soothed, stepping around Fancy to pull the boy into his arms. Wade held himself rigidly until Rhett began to soothe his hand down the boy's back and Rhett whispered, "you are such a good boy, Wade. Your mother and I are so lucky to have you."

Wade's arms snaked around his stepfather, "please, Uncle Rhett, please don't make my mother cry again," he whispered.

"I'll try," Rhett whispered back.

"Uncle Rhett?" Wade's voice was slightly muffled because his face was pressed into Rhett's chest.

"Yes, son?"

"Do you love my mother?"

Rhett tried to stop his heart from racing, but he suspected Wade could feel it pound under his cheek.

"I do."

"Do you love her the way husbands and wives are supposed to love each other? Mother says there are different kids on love and that it's a special kind."

Damn. Rhett thought. Given their conversation this afternoon Rhett felt sure any response he gave to Wade would find it's way swiftly to Scarlett's ears. But his mother was right about one thing, Rhett had not seen a man love a woman the way he was supposed to when he was a child. Rhett had learned to be a man in the gold fields of California, but he wanted Wade to learn to be a man here, in Atlanta.

"Wade," Rhett said softly, "I love you mother very much, and I don't want to hurt her. I know that you love your mother and you want her to be happy and loved."

"Will you stay?" Wade asked hopefully as he stepped away from Rhett and placed a hand on Fancy's saddle.

"Wade," Rhett's tone held a warning and Wade knew he'd exhausted his stepfather's patience, but he couldn't stop himself from muttering, "I thought not. For someone who supposedly love my mother so much he sure has an odd way of showing it," loudly enough for Rhett to hear.

Rhett pretended not to hear. What on earth could this child who'd never loved a woman and never had his love eviscerated by that woman know off his relationship with Scarlett?

§

"Did you and Wade have a nice time today?" Scarlett asked when Rhett joined her in the parlor before supper.

"We had an interesting chat," Rhett answered cryptically.

Scarlett narrowed her eyes at him. She hated when Rhett did this. "God's nightgown, Rhett! What does that mean?"

Rhett smiled and laced his fingers into hers, "It means, my dear, that we had a little chat about what it means to be the man of the house."

Scarlett bit her lower lip and her eyes shifted from Rhett who smiled at the memory of her son doing the very same thing this afternoon.

After Scarlett said nothing for several minutes, Rhett asked, "What's troubling you?"

"Rhett…" Scarlett paused, nibbling her lower lip, "I, uh…will you go to mass with me?"

"What?" Rhett asked confusedly.

"I'm having a mass said for Bonnie, for her birthday and—"

"Scarlett—" Rhett cried.

"Rhett, it's just…" Scarlett kept speaking as if she hadn't heard him, "it feels so wrong not to do something for her birthday and I thought a mass might be nice. So, I requested a mass for her. The children and I are going and I thought it might be nice if you would join us."

Rhett schooled his face into his carefully blank mask, "My dear, you know that I do not subscribe to your Catholic beliefs in heaven and hell."

"I know. But, I do…and I thought it might be nice for us to all go and pray for Bonnie."

Rhett said nothing. Why did Scarlett want this? Few of the Atlanta Old Guard were Catholic so they weren't likely to be seen at church together, unless. "Scarlett," Rhett asked, not bothering to hide his irritation, "who else did you invite to this mass?"

"Just the family," Scarlett frowned her uncomprehending frown at him.

"And, who exactly, is this family?"

"Well," Scarlett started slowly, "Mammy, I know, Rhett. I know she could go to her own church, but I want her to be there, she loved Bonnie so and … well, people will just think she's there to mind the children anyway, and Aunt Pitty, Ashley, India and Uncle Henry. I thought about writing to Sue…but I didn't want to. It might be nice to see Will, but not Suellen…" Scarlett shrugged as her voice trailed off.

"I see."

"Well? Will you come? It will be April 4th, the Sunday before Bonnie's birthday." Scarlett had thought about requesting that the mass be said for Bonnie on the 12th, the Sunday after Bonnie's birthday, but she thought it might be harder to convince Rhett to come after Bonnie's birthday. Scarlett dreaded Bonnie's birthday and she imagined Rhett did too, but she hoped Rhett would stay in Atlanta for it, or at least until the mass on the fourth.

"I'll think about it," Rhett drawled frowning.

Scarlett bit her lip and nodded. She knew Rhett didn't believe in heaven or hell, but he also knew that she did. Scarlett thought about how he'd told her there was no such thing when he'd proposed. Why wouldn't he just come to church with her and the children? She knew he'd been raised Protestant, not Catholic, but it's not like he went to church every Sunday and was really a Protestant.

"Rhett…" Scarlett started, but seeing the cold blank look on his face she shook her head and continued, "I'll just go check in on the children before supper."

Rhett watched her leave the parlor frowning. A mass? What was Scarlett aiming at? Did she want to go to church? She never had before.

§§§ - Saturday, March 28, 1874

Saturday Rhett took the entire family to the park as he'd promised Ella before he'd gone to Charleston. Once Prissy and Pork laid down blankets and set down baskets of food and jugs of tea in the shade of a large maple tree, Rhett took the bag he'd had slung over his shoulder and handed it to Wade.

"I've a surprise for you children," Rhett said, "open it."

Wade untied the string holding the bag closed and reached inside. Uncle Rhett had bought them new baseball equipment. There were three store bought children's gloves, an adult glove, several balls, and two shiny wooden bats in the bag.

"Wow!" Wade smiled as he pulled out and examined one of the leather gloves.

"Oh!" cried Ella as Beau yelled, "new gloves!"

Rhett smiled, "Yes, there's one for each of you. Ella's is the smallest."

"Thank you, Uncle Rhett!" Ella threw her arms around Rhett's legs.

"Let's play!" Beau yelled.

Rhett ruffled the boy's hair and was about to agree when Scarlett interjected, "Boys! Did you thank Uncle Rhett for his lovely gift?"

"Oh, thank you, Uncle Rhett!" Beau smiled brightly up at Rhett.

Wade turned to glance at his mother who had seated herself on the blanket in the shade before turning to his stepfather and saying, "Yes, thank you very much, Uncle Rhett. This was a very thoughtful gift."

Rhett smiled. Wade seemed sincere, but Rhett didn't want to push his strained relationship with his stepson at the moment.

"You are very welcome, children," Rhett smiled warmly at them. "Now, shall we play!"

There were numerous cries of "yes!" and "I'm batting first!"

"Would you like to join us, my dear?" Rhett asked Scarlett as the children scampered to the open field.

"Oh, no thank you, Rhett," Scarlett shielded her eyes from the sun and smiled up at Rhett, "I'll just watch. It was a very thoughtful gift."

Affection surged through Rhett for a reason he didn't want to think about and he bent and kissed Scarlett's cheek before turning and following the children to the large open area.

Rhett and the children took turns with one pitching, one batting, and the other two fielding, before a few other Atlanta children joined them including Raoul Picard. Maybelle joined Scarlett in the shade as they watched Rhett and half a dozen children run and laugh in the sun. One of the boys had no glove and Raul and another boy who'd joined the game had the homemade gloves that were so common, so Ella, Beau, and Wade happily shared around their new gloves with whoever was catching.

Scarlett felt butterflies low in her belly as she watched Rhett's big, strong body lunge to catch a ball Raoul had hit. Maybelle caught the expression on Scarlett's face and smiled, "Things are well, Scarlett?" she asked smiling.

"What? Oh, yes," Scarlett answered her cheeks flushing. She knew Maybelle was politely inquiring about Rhett.

"I'm so glad," Maybelle smiled back. Scarlett smiled back wondering if Maybelle would help spread the rumor she and Rhett were happy. Scarlett turned her face back to the children, and Rhett, joyously running around the park, but she was no longer watching. Am I happy? Scarlett asked herself. She was. Rhett was home and he was playing with the children and treating her kindly. Scarlett's chest swelled with joy. This is what she wanted from life. This would be absolutely perfect if only Bonnie were here, running with Ella and trying to play baseball with the boys. Bonnie.

Scarlett didn't realize her eyes had filled with tears until Maybelle handed her a handkerchief. Scarlett took the handkerchief and turned to face Maybelle, blinking confusedly and then she felt the tears fall.

"Oh!" Scarlett cried, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I just…I just was wishing Bonnie was here, and… I'm so sorry." Scarlett dabbed the tears off of her face with Maybelle's handkerchief.

Maybelle smiled sadly and put her hand over Scarlett's. "Don't be silly, Scarlett," Maybelle whispered fiercely as she squeezed Scarlett's hand, "sometimes I think of Pierre and I still cry. And the siege was so long ago."

"He would be ten now," Maybelle whispered softly after a pause.

"Does the pain ever go away?" Scarlett asked softly, staring at her own hands.

"No," Maybelle frowned, "Not really. Sometimes it still hurts as if it were yesterday and sometimes it's a small, dull ache, almost like having sore feet, that's just there."

Scarlett nodded.

"Scarlett?" Rhett's concerned voice interrupted.

Scarlett looked up startled. The children were still playing happily, but Rhett was crouched beside her and Wade was staring at her instead of playing.

"Darling," Rhett asked softly pulling Scarlett's hand into his, "what is it?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Rhett." Scarlett lied.

Rhett glanced at Maybelle who smiled softly at him. She was surprised to see the true concern on Captain Butler's face. Like much of Atlanta Maybelle believed Captain Butler had left Scarlett and was just coming back to Atlanta periodically to keep up appearances, or for the children, or perhaps both. When India had made her turn around after Melanie's death and started saying she was certain Scarlett had never loved Ashley and was in love with Captain Butler, Maybelle had thought India was only changing her tune to stay on Scarlett's good side. Besides, no one other than Melanie had really liked India and Scarlett supported Pittypat Hamilton and therefore India. But the way Scarlett had been watching Rhett led Maybelle to believe India had been right about Scarlett's feelings towards her husband, but Maybelle was surprised to see the genuine caring in Rhett's eyes as he surveyed his wife. Perhaps the Butler marriage wasn't in the sort of shambles the gossips claimed. Maybe India was right, Maybelle marveled. Lost in her thoughts Maybelle didn't hear what Rhett said in response to Scarlett's lie, but Rhett pulling Scarlett to her feet brought Maybelle back to the present.

Rhett called for the children who gathered up their new baseball equipment and put it back into Rhett's bag. Prissy and Pork gathered everything else and Maybelle watched the family interact as Scarlett told the children they were all having baths before supper and Ella whined.

Scarlett kissed Maybelle's cheek before they left the park and said, "Thank you." Maybelle understood. Losing a child was so difficult. As they walked to their respective homes, both women thought about how they would have to be kinder to one another since they now had this terrible bond between them.

§§§ – Sunday, March 29, 1874

After the supper plates had been cleared Pork entered the dining room carrying a cake bearing a lit candle. The odd Hamilton-Butler-Wilkes family sang Scarlett happy birthday and she blew out the candle.

After Pork had served the adults coffee and given everyone slices of cake and left the dining room, Rhett asked curiously, "And why aren't we celebrating your birthday on your actual birthday, my dear?"

"Oh," Scarlett answered as her cheeks turned pink, "I'm in mourning, so we can't have a party for me."

"We had suppers for my birthday and Wade's and a party for Wade, why not you?" Rhett asked again.

India looked down at her plate. Wade, Ashley and Aunt Pitty all swiveled their heads between Scarlett and Rhett.

"It isn't proper," Scarlett said.

"Scarlett," Rhett said calmly, "we should celebrate your birthday."

"We are celebrating it, Rhett, and—"

"Not a Sunday supper," Rhett was becoming irritated now. Why was Scarlett being obstinate about this? He wondered. Rhett had never known Scarlett to pass up the chance to be the center of attention.

"Uncle Rhett, mother doesn't want a party, I asked her," Wade's voice was firm.

Rhett paused. Wade looked angry. Aunt Pitty, Uncle Henry, Ashley and India were all looking anywhere but at him or Scarlett. Ella looked on the verge of tears and Beau had reached his hand over the table towards his aunt. They all clearly knew something Rhett did not. Fine. He would discuss this with Scarlett later.

"I see," Rhett drawled slowly, "my apologies, my dear, for disrupting what is your birthday celebration."

Scarlett nodded and whispered, "Thank you."

Everyone returned to their cake and coffee in an awkward silence. All of the festivity had gone out of the room with Rhett's questioning.

§

What felt like an eternity later the Wilkes and Hamiltons had all left and all three children were in their beds. As soon as he closed the nursery door behind them Rhett took Scarlett's arm and lead her to the bedroom.

"Why aren't we going to have a birthday supper for you, Scarlett?" Rhett asked as he closed the door behind them.

"Rhett? We just did, I—"

"No, today is not your birthday. We had suppers for me and for Wade on our birthdays. Why don't you want to celebrate on your birthday?"

Scarlett opened and closed her mouth twice before venturing, "Rhett, I don't understand. We sang happy birthday today and the whole family was together. Why should we gather again in two days?"

"Scarlett, for my birthday we had special dinner on my actual birthday and then the family come together for a birthday supper on Friday, followed by a regular Sunday supper two days later. Why is this any different?"

"Well, because your larger celebration was on Friday because mourning Melly ended on Thursday and I—"

"That's not what this is about, Scarlett. Why don't you want to celebrate your birthday?"

"We just did celebrate it, Rhett!" Scarlett was exasperated and her head was throbbing. She felt close to tears, but could not explain why. "Will you please unlace me?" Scarlett asked walking away from the doorway where they'd been standing.

"Scarlett," Rhett grabbed her wrist to stop her. Rhett held her wrist as he stepped close and caressed her face with his other hand, "tell me. What's wrong, my dear?"

"I'm not feeling quite myself, Rhett, and I have a headache. Will you unlace me or shall I call for Mammy?"

Mammy, not Lou? Rhett thought, she must not be feeling well.

"I'll unlace you, turn around," Rhett directed as he released Scarlett.

Scarlett turned around and Rhett undid the buttons down her back. Scarlett shoved her dress and petticoats down as Rhett unlaced her. Rhett stared as she stretched her sides and then stepped away from him to the dressing room without another word.

Once she'd disappeared around the corner Rhett turned, as expected his nightclothes were laid out on his side of the bed along with his dressing gown. A cigar box and matches laid next to the candle on his nightstand. Rhett had been home for a week and not once had he ventured into his old room. Since his trip to his mother's had been so short, he'd only taken one trunk and there was ample clothing in the master closet for him to wear. As Rhett removed his clothing and put on his nightshirt he wondered if Pork had unpacked the other trunk in his room.

Scarlett emerged as Rhett was doing up the last of his buttons, but she said nothing and crossed to her vanity. Rhett approached as she seated herself and began pulling the pins out of her hair. Once her hair was loose Rhett sat behind her, picked up the brush and began Scarlett's customary 100 strokes.

Scarlett watched Rhett in the mirror until he reached somewhere near thirty and then she closed her eyes. Breathing deeply Scarlett relished the feel of Rhett brushing her hair. She loved the nearness of him. She could feel his warmth and smell him and this reminded her so much of early in their marriage, when he'd still loved her openly. Scarlett didn't realize the memories had brought her to tears until she felt Rhett's thumb wipe a tear from her cheek.

Rhett placed the brush back on the vanity table and turned Scarlett's face to his. He stroked her forehead with his thumb and kissed away her tears. Scarlett's eyes flew open suddenly, "Rhett?"

"Shhhh, honey, let's go to bed."

"Rhett, I—"

"I know, darling, shhhh," Rhett soothed as he led Scarlett to his side of the bed, "get in."

Scarlett crawled into the bed and sat up looking at him. Rhett removed the nightshirt so he was dressed just in his drawers and sat on the bed.

"Rhett, I'm… I…"

"I know, honey, shhh. Come here," Rhett said as he laid down.

Scarlett curled onto Rhett's chest with her head tucked under his chin. Rhett brought both arms around her and whispered, "Shhhh, go to sleep, honey."

Rhett was being so sweet and so kind. Scarlett felt confused and unsure. She wanted to ask him if he was all right without relations, but she also did not want to disturb this moment. Rhett cradled Scarlett to his chest and in his embrace Scarlett felt loved and safe and protected and heartbroken. She could not explain why this embrace both hurt and healed her. So, she wept and Rhett held her until she finally, exhausted, slept.

§§§ – Monday, March 30, 1874

Rhett's blood boiled and his heart beat wildly in his chest as he stormed into the store Monday afternoon. Scarlett was standing in front of some bolts of cloth with Mrs. Meade and her eyes widened as Rhett stormed past her into her office.

"Scarlett?" Mrs. Meade asked softly.

"Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Meade," Scarlett said never taking her eyes off of her husband's retreating back, "something must be wrong."

Mrs. Meade nodded at Scarlett when Scarlett turned to her, "Go. Send someone else to help me and see to what Captain Butler wants."

Scarlett nodded and walked away. After sending one of the clerks to help Mrs. Meade, Scarlett entered her office and closed the door softly behind her.

"What did you spend thousands of dollars on, Scarlett?" Rhett yelled.

"Rhett," Scarlett pleaded softly, putting her hand on Rhett's arm, "please lower your voice, you know these walls are thin."

Rhett shook Scarlett's hand off of his arm and looked down at her.

Scarlett's face was flushed and he could see her pulse throbbing in her neck above her collar.

"Scarlett," Rhett warned stepping forward so their bodies were touching.

"I bought land," Scarlett said grabbing the lapel of his frock coat so she could lean up and look into Rhett's face without stepping back. She would not let him crowd her into stepping back. She wasn't wrong and she wasn't afraid.

"Twelve Oaks?!" Rhett cried, "Scarlett, if you bought—"

"No! No, Rhett it wasn't that," Scarlett interrupted frantically, "I bought land here. To build houses. It was weeks ago. I… I thought you'd realized—"

"Houses! For whom?"

"For anyone that wants to buy or lease them. We just started breaking ground, would you like to come see?"

Rhett stared down at Scarlett. She was flushed, but not agitated. She was building multiple houses with his money and hadn't told him?

Scarlett seemed to sense what he was thinking. "I didn't, Rhett. I didn't just take your money. I had enough in profits from the store and the mills."

"How can you be sure?" Rhett asked curiously, his anger ebbing as curiosity overwhelmed him, "it all goes into one account."

"I know, but I've kept track. At home. I have a ledger of store and mill income and expenses and household expenses and what you deposit into the account. I started… a few months ago."

"When?" Rhett asked sharply.

Scarlett took a deep breath and released his lapel. Stepping away from Rhett, Scarlett answered, "I started when you left. I had to be sure I had enough to care for Wade and Ella and myself and Mammy and Pork and Prissy and Lou and Ashley and Beau and Aunt Pitty and—"

"I get your point, Scarlett." Rhett interrupted.

"I'm not sure you do," Scarlett whispered, "I'm just one person and people judge me for working but I support a large family, Rhett. I had to be sure I had enough if you divorced me and I could only support everyone from the mills and the store. I couldn't risk not knowing and then finding out one day you were never coming back." Scarlett squeezed her eyes closed to stop herself from crying. She would not cry in the store. Especially when Mrs. Meade saw her follow Rhett in here.

Rhett stood in silence and watched Scarlett compose herself. She did bear a large burden on her shoulders. When Rhett had been her age he had been burdened with only himself and then with trying to entice Scarlett. She'd been supporting many people, including Rhett's own mother, since she'd been a teenager. When Rhett was 19 he'd been angry at the world and at his father for kicking him out and making him support himself. When Scarlett was 19, she'd been supporting a dozen people while starving at Tara.

When Scarlett opened her eyes to look at him, Rhett stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. He cupped her face and tilted it up to his, "I'm not going to divorce you," Rhett growled and kissed her.

Scarlett pulled her face back almost instantly her brows drawn together, "Ever?" she asked.

"No," Rhett answered and kissed her again.

Scarlett pulled away again and asked, "Then you will come home?"

Rhett sighed as he caressed her cheek, "No. Not the way you want me to. It will be like it is now. I will come home at times and be away at times."

Scarlett sucked her lower lip into her mouth and looked down, "Why?"

"I don't think it would be good for either of us if I was here all the time and—"

"No," Scarlett interrupted with surprising vehemence in her voice, "why aren't you going to divorce me?"

Rhett frowned, Scarlett should be throwing herself in his arms sobbing with joy. She claimed to love him and he was giving her what she wanted. More than what she wanted, she'd exacted a promise not to divorce her.

"Do you want a divorce?"

"No!" Scarlett cried leaning her head onto Rhett's shoulder and hugging him tightly to her, "No, I don't."

"What do you want?" Rhett asked irritated. He was giving her what she wanted, she should be thrilled.

"I want you."

"And perhaps you weren't listening clearly. I've just promised not to divorce you."

"But you didn't promise you'd be here. And that's what I want, Rhett. I want you to be here."

"Like before? Scarlett, we were both miserable and—"

Scarlett's laughter shocked Rhett. He wondered if she'd gone mad. What on earth could she be laughing at in this moment? Rhett moved his hands to Scarlett's arms to pull her away from him so he could see her face. Scarlett resisted and stood on her toes to kiss the corner of his jaw.

"We really were miserable, Rhett. I know. But, well, that was before. I love you and you know it and you love me and I know it. It will be different now. It is already different and—"

"No," Rhett said pushing Scarlett away from him, "it won't. I'm not returning so you can live some little girl fantasy, Scarlett. This is how it will be now. Do you understand?"

Scarlett searched Rhett's face for a long minute. Rhett wondered what she could possibly be thinking. Scarlett wondered if Rhett didn't know he loved her, just as she hadn't known she'd loved him for years. That must be it, Scarlett thought. He loves me and doesn't know. How could she help Rhett understand that he loved her? Scarlett began to wonder what would have helped her realize she was in love with Rhett years ago when his voice broke into her thoughts.

"Scarlett? Do you understand?"

Scarlett smiled up at him, "Yes, Rhett. I understand. Would you like to see the land? We are starting with 8 houses and the second cellar is almost dug out and the first has the foundation poured already. All of the houses are going to have full cellars."

"Why?" Rhett asked momentarily distracted.

"I can rent or sell them for more then," Scarlett answered matter of factly.

Rhett laughed, that was so like his wife. Once Rhett stopped laughing, Scarlett took his arm and said, "Come, let me show you the properties."

Rhett smiled as he led her from the office.

§

"So this is how you are keeping Ashley Wilkes afloat," Rhett mused as he and Scarlett walked from the house with its concrete foundation poured towards the one currently being dug out.

"I had to, Rhett. I promised Melly."

"You could have just kept putting money into their household accounts."

"I did, but you know men and their pride. Ashley wanted to do something, so I found something. And it's working, he's doing much better. He visited Beau last week and doesn't seem so lost all the time."

"What are you going to do with him when all the houses are built?"

"Build more houses. Or I'll think of something else."

"Eight houses isn't going to take more than a year or so, Scarlett."

"Oh, it's not eight, Rhett. We own all this," Scarlett swept her arm out at the vacant lots that stretched away to the south.

"Land for how many?"

"Three dozen."

"You bought the land for three dozen houses?" Rhett asked the pride evident in his voice.

"Yes," Scarlett smiled, "I hope it will keep Ashley busy for a long while. We'll build the first eight this year and then probably eight again and then ten and ten. I think we'll get better at it as we go along."

"How did you manage to buy all this land without my signature?"

Scarlett shrugged, "I don't know. Lieutenant Jeffries helped me. He said something about it not mattering you didn't sign because anything I own belongs to you so it benefits you? I wasn't really listening," Scarlett admitted.

Rhett smiled and squeezed Scarlett's arm into his body with his elbow. It was just like her to ignore any details that didn't directly impact her bottom line as soon as they were taken care of.

"You made a building plan for four years?"

"Yes. But if eight is too many at once or they take too long, we will reduce it."

"Have you thought of starting them in waves?"

"What do you mean?"

"Once you've dug these eight cellars and started pouring the foundations what are those crews going to do?"

"I don't know," Scarlett said slowly. "I won't need them again until next year. The carpenters will then start framing."

"Exactly, once the carpenters have started framing you can have the crews dig the next several cellars."

"Oh, I see!" Scarlett exclaimed grasping onto Rhett's wave system, "but the digs will go faster than the framing and then there are all of the interiors to build."

"Yes, you'll either need a smaller dig crew and larger construction crew or you'll need to let the cellars be dug out for a while."

"Perhaps..." Scarlett started.

"Perhaps, what?"

"Perhaps that will work too because they can't dig out the cellars when the ground is frozen in the winter. Perhaps then the framing and construction can catch up."

Rhett smiled. He loved the way Scarlett's mind worked sometimes.

"I've missed this," Scarlett said sliding her fingers up from his elbow to his hand. Rhett laced her fingers between his and pulled her arm back into his chest.

"Missed what?"

"Talking to you," Scarlett answered.

Rhett nodded and squeezed her fingers, but said nothing. He knew exactly what his wife meant, but he didn't want to acknowledge that he also missed when they spoke as friends.

§§§

"No! Rhett! No!" Scarlett cried as she thrashed against Rhett later that night.

"Shhhh, honey, shhhh!" Rhett tried to sooth her, "wake up, Scarlett, you are dreaming."

"No!" Scarlett cried and wrenched herself from his arms to launch herself up into a sitting position.

Rhett also sat up and put his hand on her back.

"Scarlett?"

Scarlett didn't answer and Rhett could see her chest heaving. Rhett stood and lifted Scarlett from the bed. As he walked them over to the sitting area in front of the fireplace, Scarlett jerked violently in his arms nearly knocking them both over.

"Scarlett!" Rhett cried as he caught his footing.

"Rhett!" Scarlett looked wildly at him for a moment and then her eyes seemed to focus and she threw her arms around Rhett's neck and began to cry.

"What is it, honey?" Rhett asked as he sat in the armchair closest to the fire and settled Scarlett across his lap.

"I…I had a nightmare," Scarlett whispered into his neck.

"I know. And it wasn't about running through the mist."

"No," Scarlett agreed, "it wasn't."

"What was it about?"

"I…I…well, Rhett, I…I don't want to talk about it," Scarlett's voice trailed off.

"It was a nightmare about me and you don't want to tell me about it?"

"No," Scarlett whispered.

Rhett leaned forward and pulled Scarlett's face from his neck, "why ever not? Perhaps I can help."

"I don't think you can," Scarlett smiled sadly at him and then leaned forward and rewrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Rhett soothed his hand up and down her back. She must be dreaming about him dying, Rhett thought. Or leaving, Rhett realized. Yes, that must be it and she doesn't want to tell him because he'll just remind her that he is going to leave.

"Scarlett, you are so very brave. I hope you know that. I'll come back, my dear. I'll always come back."

"I hope so," Scarlett whispered into his neck and then started to sob.

§

Rhett slept restlessly the rest of the night. Every time Scarlett moved he jerked awake, worried she was having another nightmare. He had finally settled into a deep sleep when he felt Scarlett pull out of his arms. Rhett sat bolt upright and pulled Scarlett tightly into his chest.

"Rhett!" Scarlett cried, trying to push him away.

"Honey," Rhett drawled in the soothing voice Scarlett thought of as his nightmare voice, "what is it? Another dream?"

"No, I need the water closet."

Rhett kissed her temple before releasing her.

Rhett was half dressed for the day by the time Scarlett reentered the bedroom clutching her wrapper tightly around herself.

Rhett appraised her before saying, "Who takes care of the store for you when you aren't there?"

Scarlett froze and turned wide eyes onto Rhett, "Why?"

Rhett said nothing and Scarlett continued, "The clerks run the store on their own on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I don't have someone who is the manager, they know I'll be back the next day."

Rhett nodded, "Good. Then they will be able to manage in your absence today."

"But, Rhett, it's Tuesday. I am going to the store," Scarlett's brows drew together confusedly.

"No, not today. Today we are going on a picnic."

"A picnic? But why?"

Rhett chuckled, "I think you and I should celebrate your birthday."

"But we will have supper. The cook is preparing a feast."

"Yes, but that will be for all of us, the children too. I think you and I should spend the day together and I thought a picnic might be nice."

Scarlett smiled and looked up at him through her lashes, "I'll ring for Lou."

"Don't wear mourning," Rhett directed.

"But, Rhett, I'm in mourning."

"Light morning. Wear something grey or lavender and short sleeved."

Scarlett nodded and said nothing else as Rhett finished dressing for the day and left the room.

§§§ – Tuesday, March 31, 1874

It took Rhett a long time to drive them out of the city and to a clearing where they could picnic. Scarlett sat close to him as he drove, but she didn't touch him. The ride was mostly silent. When they reached a place Rhett found suitable he jumped out of the buggy and handed Scarlett down and then unhitched and tied the horse to a nearby tree with a long rope.

Scarlett laid out a blanket in the shade of a large hickory tree and Rhett unloaded the food. After they'd eaten a delicious dinner of chicken sandwiches Rhett settled his back against the tree trunk and reached for Scarlett.

Scarlett settled herself on the ground next to Rhett, but he reached over and pulled her onto his lap.

"Rhett!" she cried twisting to return to the ground next to him. "Someone will see!"

Rhett laughed, "We are an hour's ride from the city, Scarlett. And no one is here. No one will see us."

"I'd rather sit on the ground while we are in public, Rhett."

Rhett spread his legs apart so Scarlett's bottom slid to the ground between them.

"Better?" he asked as he repositioned his arms around her.

Scarlett burst into laughter and laughed so hard she cried. "You are a skunk, Rhett Butler!" She chuckled once she'd calmed enough to get the words out.

Rhett pulled her side back into him and kissed her forehead. Scarlett leaned her side into Rhett's chest and relaxed with her head tucked under his chin.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Scarlett asked, "What did you talk about with Wade?"

"He told me you cried after I left. He believes it is my fault and wishes I wouldn't make you cry."

Scarlett nodded.

"He also told me sometimes he thinks I should divorce you so you can be with someone who doesn't make you cry."

Scarlett sat up and turned to look at him, "Rhett," she started her voice shaking.

"I'm not, Scarlett. I told you yesterday."

Scarlett closed her eyes and leaned back onto Rhett's chest without smiling, "I told him I don't want that."

"He told me that, too. He's a good boy, Scarlett. He loves you very much."

"Thank you. I am very proud of him."

"Yes," Rhett nodded, "he takes his obligations as a man very seriously."

Scarlett smiled, "I hope he will grow into a good man, Rhett. I think, I think he will. He's so like Melly. She taught him so much."

Rhett frowned but didn't say anything. He'd loved that boy from when he was a baby and it hurt to hear Scarlett say she thought Wade would grow into a good man because of Miss Melly instead of because of Rhett. Maybe his mother had a point Rhett thought.

"What were you like when you were Wade's age?" Scarlett's voice interrupted Rhett's musing.

Rhett laughed, "A perfect hellion."

Scarlett smiled, "Do tell."

Rhett laughed, "Have I ever told you about how when I was twelve and my brother was ten and we tried to catch a grey fox?"

Rhett and Scarlett sat on the ground with Scarlett cuddled into Rhett's chest and his arms around her and talked until it was time to go back for supper with the children. Both privately thought of how they'd used to talk this way, during the war and when Rhett had driven Scarlett through the woods while she was carrying Ella. But neither acknowledged, even to themselves, that they hadn't talked this way since they'd been married.

§§§ - Sunday, April 5, 1874

Rhett vehemently regretted agreeing to come to this stupid mass with Scarlett and the children. Ashley was there, with Beau between him and Scarlett. India sat tartly on Ashley's other side, followed, thankfully, because Rhett didn't think he could handle her sniffling, by Aunt Pitty.

The only thing keeping Rhett from storming out as the priest droned on in Latin was the feeling of Scarlett's fingers clenching his. Their clasped hands were hidden underneath one of the folds of Scarlett's black mourning crepe. She'd donned a deep mourning hat with a veil today and the sight of her dressed in full mourning for their daughter awakened Rhett's rage at the world. Surprisingly, he wasn't angry with Scarlett. He knew she must need him if she was willing to so blatantly flout propriety and hold his hand in church, and only that, and the feeling of Ella pressed into his other side and her small hand on his arm kept Rhett calm during the mass. Rhett noticed that Ella's other hand clasped Wade's tightly and smiled to himself. Scarlett was certainly right about one thing, Wade really was so much like his Aunt Melly at times.

As Rhett sat in the pew and tried to pretend he was anywhere else he knew with every fiber of his being he had to get out of Atlanta. Rhett's mind wandered to the time Bonnie had fallen face first into a puddle at the park and cried because she'd ripped her dress, not because she'd been hurt. He recalled the sound of her giggles as they played tea party in the nursery and her soft breathing when Rhett would wake in the night. Rhett thought about the time she'd accidentally slid off of the horsehair sofa in the parlor and then laid on the floor laughing hysterically or how she'd sit on his lap at the table when they had dinner when Scarlett was off at the mills or the store. As Rhett's mind wandered his heart sank. Every gaudy inch of the house reminded Rhett of Bonnie and suddenly he needed to leave. He couldn't be in that monstrosity of a house without her. Especially not on the day she would have turned five, but she wasn't there.

§§§ - Monday, April 6, 1874

Rhett waited until Monday morning to tell Scarlett he was leaving. Something in him knew it would hurt her too much to tell her after church or their more somber than usual Sunday supper. But Rhett had to leave. He felt it in his bones, and yet for the first time in as long as he could remember the thought of leaving Scarlett saddened him. Rhett didn't want to escape from Scarlett or the children, he wanted to escape this house.

Rhett kissed Scarlett awake as the first rays of warm spring sunlight began to filter through the gaps between the curtains.

"Rhett!" Scarlett jolted awake when he began to kiss down her neck.

"Morning," Rhett smirked as he drew one of her nipples into his mouth.

"Wha…" Scarlett groaned as she stretched beneath him and slid her fingers into his hair.

Rhett kissed down her body tenderly. He wanted to memorize the way she moaned and the feel of her skin for the weeks he would be away. Scarlett gasped when he reached the apex of her thighs and swiped his tongue through her folds. The sound shot a bolt of pleasure through Rhett.

Rhett licked and sucked her until she was moaning and trembling beneath him. Then he lifted himself and entered her in one long, slow motion. Scarlett wrapped her arms around Rhett's shoulders and pulled him down towards her. Rhett poured all of his passion for his wife into their kiss and he could feel Scarlett's body clenching his almost instantly.

"Scarlett—" Rhett started a short time later when their bodies were cooling. He was laying on his side with Scarlett curled into him and one of her arms slung over his back.

"You're leaving," Scarlett interrupted dully, "I should have known it when," she gestured between them.

"I have to."

"No, you don't," Scarlett replied softly, "Aren't you happy here now? You've been smiling and it's been ever so long since I've seen you smile, really smile, Rhett."

"It isn't that, Scarlett, it's..."

"Bonnie," Scarlett nodded, "yes, I know. Sometimes I wish I could leave too," Scarlett whispered as tears formed in her eyes.

Scarlett tilted her face up and kissed Rhett lightly, whispering, "You should stay for her birthday, Rhett, please," against his lips.

"Scarlett, I can't. I can't be here when she isn't," Rhett's voice was strangled. Scarlett knew he really couldn't stay. She wished his strong arms and his kisses would be here on Thursday when Bonnie wouldn't turn five, but she knew he couldn't face it. If he stayed he would turn back into the swollen, sodden stranger who didn't think he loved her. Or worse, who really didn't love her. No, Rhett couldn't face it. Why were men always so afraid to face things? Women never had any choice. They had to face everything that came their way. Maybe that's why women were so much stronger than men, really, Scarlett wondered.

"When?" Scarlett asked quietly. Rhett had made no mention of leaving since he'd returned and Scarlett hadn't wanted to ask, as if by asking she would suggest to Rhett that he leave. But now, now she needed to know. She needed to know how much longer he would be here and then how long she would have to wait for him to return.

"I'll leave tomorrow."

"Will you go to Chicago?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps I'll go somewhere else like Boston or Philadelphia."

"Rhett—"

"I'll make sure you have the addresses of wherever I'm going. And you can always telegraph, Scarlett."

Scarlett nodded.

"When will you come home?"

Rhett frowned, "My mother is going to come visit in June, so I'll be back June first."

"Your mother?"

"Yes."

"Really, Rhett? Why?" Scarlett asked as she sat up and looked down at him.

Rhett could hear the excitement in her voice. He ran his fingers into the hair at her temple, "because, my dear," Rhett drew her face to his and kissed her deciding a partial truth would be the best response, "she wants to see you and the children. She knows it will be a very difficult time."

Scarlett nodded, her eyes welling with tears.

"Must you be gone so long?"

"I must. But rejoice, I'm sure my mother will spend a lengthy visit here so I'll likely be in Atlanta for much of the summer."

Scarlett smiled as she turned to hide her face in Rhett's chest, she'd have to think of ways to get Eleanor Butler to make a very, very long visit.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed! Special thanks to: Rhett's love, Sarah,Shilo, pmk kellly, COCO B, Livisa, Conlyn70, gabyhyatt, Truckee Gal, Nuala Lady of the Lake, MissTricey, Aethelfraed, Sprout76, EmmaElizaRose, and guests 1 & 2. I love hearing what you think so much! _


	13. Realization, Tuesday, April 7, 1874

_Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to the amazing Margaret Mitchell. _

* * *

§§§ – Tuesday, April 7, 1874

Rhett awoke with a jolt and blinked into the darkness. Scarlett had turned over and was curled on her side with her cheek was resting on his left arm and her bare back pressed into his side. Scarlett's loose hair was draped over Rhett's chest and neck and some covered his face. Rhett swiped at her hair with his right hand before reaching to his nightstand and grabbing his pocket watch. It was only 3:52 a.m. Well, Rhett thought, I'm not likely to get anymore sleep anyway. He had said goodbye to the children after supper last night and then taken Scarlett twice before falling into a restless sleep.

Now, he was wide awake and knew attempting more sleep was useless. It was time to take his leave of Scarlett and go. Rhett turned onto his side and drew Scarlett's ear, and a healthy helping of her hair, into his mouth as he reached between her legs and swiped his fingers thought her folds.

Scarlett jerked and gasped in Rhett's arms. Rhett groaned when Scarlett reached up and pulled his face to hers so she could kiss him. Scarlett seemed wide awake as well as she turned onto her back beneath Rhett and kissed him eagerly. Rhett rolled back onto his back and pulled her on top of him letting his hands roam over every bit of her soft skin that he could reach.

Scarlett ground her hips onto his and Rhett thought he might finish right then.

"Uhhhh," Rhett groaned, "Suck me off, Scarlett."

Scarlett paused, Rhett had never asked her to do this when it wasn't her time before. But she loved when he put his mouth on her, shuddering with the thought of how much she loved it Scarlett moved between Rhett's legs.

Rhett jerked violently when Scarlett licked up his length. Scarlett swirled her tongue around the tip of him before taking his member into her mouth and Rhett groaned. Scarlett felt powerful and smiled around him as she sucked.

Scarlett had been suckling him for what felt like a very short time when Rhett jerked her up by her underarms and then entered her in one stroke as he settled her on his lap.

"Ohhhhh," Scarlett gasped as pleasure shot through her. Rhett sucked her earlobe into his mouth and then whispered, "Ride," as he laid back down. Scarlett braced her self on Rhett's shoulders and then began to move her hips up and down. Rhett moved one of his thumbs to tease her bundle of nerves and used the other hand to guide her hips.

Suddenly, Rhett sat up and pulled Scarlett's mouth to his, he kissed her hotly, the way he had before he'd left her on the road to Tara and the day he'd proposed. Rhett had only kissed her this way a few times and Scarlett felt tears spring to her eyes as heat unfurled through her veins and her insides melted. When she felt she could no longer breathe Scarlett tore her mouth from Rhett's and kissed his jaw whispering, "I love you."

Rhett kissed both of her cheeks and turned them to lay her down, then he began to kiss down her body slowly leaving what felt like a trail of fire in his wake. He sucked one of her nipples into his mouth while teasing the other with his fingers. Then he switched and then to Scarlett's delight he began to kiss down her body.

Rhett's lips bypassed where Scarlett wanted them and when Scarlett groaned her disappointment, Rhett smiled into her thigh. Rhett kissed all the way down Scarlett's trembling leg and back up the other. Then, he lifted himself away from her and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth hard. Scarlett's eyes flew open. Rhett met her eyes for the briefest of moments before dropping down and licking Scarlett's folds from bottom to top and sucking her bud into his mouth. Scarlett screamed and then clasped her hand over her mouth in surprise. Rhett chuckled into her as he began to lick and suck he was filled with a desire to make her scream again. He thought it might be the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

§

Rhett's chest felt hollow as he stood and checked the board at the Atlanta depo at just after 5:30 a.m. There was a train for Savannah leaving at 6:40. A port city, Rhett thought, perfect, he'd go to Europe. While he waited for the train Rhett wired Blore and asked him to purchase a first class ticket to Paris, London, or Liverpool, whichever he could get that was leaving Wednesday and to leave it at the port for Rhett.

Rhett felt as if he were sleepwalking when he arrived in Savannah. He went straight to the port office, chatted amicably with the several workers he knew from his blockading days and then checked his ticket. London. Well, Rhett thought, London is as good a place as any. After arranging for his trunks to be brought on board the ship and telegraphing for a hotel in London Rhett telegraphed Scarlett.

SAILING TO LONDON ON THE EUROPA FROM SAVANNAH STOP WILL STAY AT BROWNS HOTEL LONDON STOP SHOULD ARRIVE APRIL 19 STOP WILL WRITE STOP TELEGRAPH IF NEED ANYTHING STOP

§§§ – Thursday, April 9, 1874 – Rhett

When Rhett awoke Thursday morning he reached for Scarlett before opening his eyes and remembering he was on a ship, alone, steaming for London. He stared blankly at the ceiling for a long time before rising. His baby would turn five today, but instead she'd been dead for almost a year and it was almost entirely his own fault.

Rhett rose from his bed and mindlessly pulled on a dressing gown. Then he called for a porter and sat in one of the comfortable chairs in the sitting area in front of one of the small circular windows. When the porter returned with a pot of coffee and a bottle of whiskey Rhett nodded his thanks and began to drink.

Alternating the whiskey and coffee Rhett stared at the steel grey dawn sky and dark water meeting at the horizon without seeing and remembered. He remembered Scarlett saying, "Besides, honey, I belong to you," when Bonnie had been a baby and how much he'd wished Scarlett had meant it at the time. Rhett's heart swelled with anger and disappointment at the memory. It had all gone so wrong. But today was not the day to think about Scarlett, today was the day to think about Bonnie.

Rhett thought about riding through Atlanta with Bonnie and taking her to Democratic meetings. He remembered the way he'd blamed Scarlett at the time and told anyone who would listen he was keeping Bonnie out of the house to keep her from Scarlett's scallywag friends. Rhett sighed, his desire to be first in Bonnie's affections had led him to spoil her. As Rhett thought about what Bonnie might be like at five, and then at twelve, he thought about Wade's anger and Bonnie's rebelliousness and knew she would have been an terribly uncontrollable young lady. Bonnie would have been completely spoiled by Rhett and full of Scarlett's stubbornness. Rhett felt his eyes water as he thought about how his desire to make his baby happy and to have her love him completely had made her unruly, wild, and defiant. And it had killed her.

Rhett thought of all of the times Scarlett and Mammy had told him not to let Bonnie run wild or that Bonnie was becoming spoiled. He knew with a sickening feeling in his gut how right they had been. Rhett had wanted so badly to be the opposite of his own father and between that and his desire to win Bonnie from Scarlett he'd gone too far.

Rhett poured more whiskey into his glass and thought about all of the ways he'd tried to win Bonnie's affections from Scarlett and felt ashamed. Rhett recalled the sight of Scarlett's crumpled body when she'd fainted after Bonnie's accident. Rhett had only known Scarlett to faint twice – that day in the jail when he hadn't helped her and the day his arrogance had allowed his baby to die. Rhett knew that both times Scarlett had lost everything. Rhett thought about how her head had lolled when he'd carried her broken, unconscious body up the stairs after she'd fallen and lost their other baby. Nausea roiled in Rhett and he put his face into his hands and wept, thankful no one would disturb him.

Hours later when the afternoon faded into evening and the last rays of the sun were disappearing, Rhett wondered what Scarlett and the children had done today. Had the children gone to school? Did Scarlett go to the store? Her houses? The mills? Had they gone to the cemetery? Rhett found he wished had had gone with Scarlett to the cemetery today, or at least had gone one more time before he left Atlanta.

When Rhett retired for the night he tossed and turned in his bunk wondering if Scarlett was doing the same. His arms ached to hold her and he wondered if she would cry herself to sleep tonight, and how angry Wade would be if she did.

Wade. Rhett sighed, he would have to do so much better with Wade and Ella and probably Beau now too, then he had with Bonnie. Rhett thought about how Ella still always ran into his arms and hugged him tightly. Ella still loved Rhett and was happy to see Rhett and he'd never spoiled he the way he had spoiled Bonnie.

Rhett rolled onto his side and tried to pretend he couldn't feel the tears on his cheeks.

§§§ – Thursday, April 9, 1874 – Scarlett

Scarlett stayed home from the store on Bonnie's birthday. After breakfasting with the children in her dressing gown and sending them off to school Scarlett returned to her bed. She spent the morning lying in bed weeping and alternating between remembering everything she could about the four short birthdays her baby had had and telling herself to think about it tomorrow.

After Mammy forced Scarlett to eat some dinner, Scarlett went to the cemetery. Scarlett went to Melly's grave first. After laying down the flowers she'd brought for Melly, Scarlett knelt in the grass and thought about how much she loved Melly and how she missed her. Scarlett desperately wished she'd known she loved Rhett while Melly was alive. She wanted to talk about Rhett with Melly and she wanted Melly to tell her again and again how Captain Butler loved her so. Sighing, Scarlett caressed the top of Melly's headstone and rose to go to Bonnie's grave.

Scarlett placed flowers on Bonnie's grave and then sat on the hard ground and rested her forehead on her arm on Bonnie's headstone for what felt like hours remembering her baby. Scarlett remembered how angry she'd been when she found out she was carrying Bonnie and how she'd told Rhett she was going to get rid of the baby. Rhett had told her about seeing a girl die from trying to get rid of a baby and said he'd handcuff Scarlett to him if he had to. Scarlett recalled asking if she meant so much to him and how he'd stared at her for a moment before responding he cared because he had invested so much money in her. Tears spring to Scarlett's eyes and she swiped at them angrily. She would never have thought about getting rid of Bonnie if she'd known how much she would love the little girl and how much it would hurt not to have her anymore. Scarlett's mind wandered to the baby she'd lost. Why, why couldn't Rhett have just been nice on the stairs? Why did he always have to taunt her so? She recalled the time early in their marriage when she'd asked Rhett why he married her and Rhett told her he'd married her to keep her for a pet. Why! Why hadn't Rhett just told her the truth! Why had he always held himself so distant from her?

Scarlett gasped and shot upright when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Scarlett, I didn't mean to frighten you," Maybelle Picard said softly. I saw India at Mrs. Elsing's today and she mentioned that you'd had a mass said for Bonnie because today is her birthday and I thought I might find you here."

Scarlett said nothing as she stared up at Maybelle and wiped the tears from her cheeks with shaking fingers.

Maybelle sat down next to Scarlett and asked softly, "May I join you?"

Scarlett nodded and Maybelle took her hand. The two women sat in silence for a long time.

Finally, Scarlett turned to Maybelle and whispered, "Thank you." Scarlett had never felt particularly close to Maybelle, but she'd never really disliked her either and Maybelle's hand in hers made Scarlett feel so much less alone. Her heart still felt completely broken, but she felt an understanding and a kindness from Maybelle that reminded her of Melly.

Maybelle nodded and smiled at Scarlett with glistening eyes.

"Where is Pierre?" Scarlett asked.

Maybelle turned and pointed, "He's over there, I'll stop to see him before I go."

"May I join you?" Scarlett asked.

"I would like that," Maybelle answered and then rose and helped Scarlett stand. Scarlett's legs felt shaky from having been still for so long.

Maybelle and Scarlett walked to Pierre Picard's grave. Pierre hadn't even been two when he was killed during the siege. They stood in silence at the grave for a few moments until Maybelle turned to lead Scarlett out of the cemetery. Scarlett reached her hand out and trailed her fingers across the top of Pierre's headstone before walking away. She knew it was morbid and wrong to think such thoughts, but she was grateful Maybelle knew what it was to bury a child and then visit their grave instead of holding them in your arms. Knowing someone else who knew that unbearable ache, and seeing that Maybelle had survived it, comforted Scarlett.

At the cemetery gate Maybelle asked, "When are your at home hours? I would like to call."

Scarlett frowned, "I haven't been keeping any since, well, since," her eyes flicked back towards the cemetery.

"Oh, I understand," Maybelle interjected quickly, "If you aren't ready, I understand, but do let me know when you start keeping hours."

"I will, Maybelle. Thank you."

Scarlett and Maybelle kissed each other's cheeks and Scarlett climbed into the buggy waiting for her at the gate.

Supper with the children was somewhat subdued but Scarlett felt her spirits buoyed as she sat in the library after supper and watched the children work on one of the puzzles Rhett had given them.

"Mother," Wade asked, "won't you join us?"

"Yes," Scarlett smiled at him. She had lost Bonnie and she thought part of her heat might always be broken at the thought, but she had Wade, Ella, and Beau. Though the thought was an unpleasant one, Scarlett enjoyed spending time with the children now that she knew what it was to be unable to ever again.

§§§ – Monday, April 20, 1874

Rhett checked into Brown's Hotel Monday morning and inquired about any telegrams or letters for him. There were none, well, he thought frowning as he walked away from the desk, he'd only just arrived himself, there would be no way for a letter to have reached him, and Scarlett would probably only telegram if something happened and she really needed him.

After freshening up and having dinner at the hotel Rhett walked the bustling streets of London lost in his thoughts. He wondered how the Sunday supper the day before had gone. Was Scarlett happy? How were the children? Rhett dined at a gentleman's club and spent the evening playing cards and smoking with some of his London associates. When he returned to his hotel it was early morning, but Rhett sat at the desk and began to write to Scarlett and the children before retiring.

The first week Rhett was in London he filled his days buying the children gifts. He bought dozens of the new books made especially for children. He bought Wade and Beau each a chess set and a few novels. He bought Ella a new doll and several dresses for it and a miniature tea set with painted blue and pink flowers he knew Bonnie would have loved.

Rhett often spent the evenings alone in his room, staring melancholically out the window or into the fire. He felt full of a heaviness he could not explain to himself and did not want to think about.

§§§ – Sunday, May 3, 1874 - Scarlett

As spring came into bloom and the days warmed Scarlett found it easier not to think about Rhett. Managing the store, mills, and building project all while making sure to be home every day by three when the children came home meant that Scarlett often spent several hours after the children were in bed working on her books so that she could spend time with them on the weekends.

Scarlett headed to the kitchen for a snack of cornbread or a biscuit before she went to sleep most nights. It was an old habit she'd engaged in when she'd been married to Frank to keep the nightmares at bay. She hadn't had a single nightmare in the weeks Rhett had been gone.

Sunday morning India sent Dilcey with a note asking if she could bring Jeffries for Sunday supper that night. Scarlett replied that Jeffries was always welcome, her heart sinking. She knew why India had asked and she wanted to be happy for India, but it would be a challenge to act happy about someone else's engagement when her own marriage wasn't bringing her a lot of happiness.

Scarlett had been right, Uncle Henry and Lieutenant Jeffries both attended Sunday supper and India and Jeffries announced their engagement. But Scarlett had been wrong too, when she looked at India's beaming face as Pork served champaign for a toast, Scarlett had found it much easier than she'd thought to be happy for India.

That night the nightmares came. Scarlett first awoke because she'd been chasing Rhett's broad back through the mist screaming "Rhett! Rhett!" but, he'd never even turned to look back at her. Scarlett went to the kitchen and ate two cookies before going back up to bed.

Then Scarlett dreamed of Bonnie's accident, but it wasn't Bonnie who fell, but Rhett. Rhett was riding pell mell at a giant fence stretching up higher than the horse's head, screaming "Yah! Yah!" at the horse while Scarlett was laying on the chaise lounge screaming, "No! Rhett! Stop! Rhett!" Scarlett tried to rise from her seat but found she could not, giant invisible weights held her down as she screamed and watched Rhett crash and fall.

Scarlett jerked awake at the hands on her shoulders, "Shhhh mah lam, shhh," Mammy said as she leaned over Scarlett. "Rhett!" Scarlett cried still thrashing wildly. "Capt'n Butler ain't heah," Mammy whispered, stroking Scarlett's cheek.

Scarlett sat bolt upright her chest heaving, "No! Mammy, is he? Is he?"

"No, mah lam, he not dead, he just goned away."

"Oh," Scarlett said, relaxing some, "that's right, he's in London. Thank you, Mammy."

As Scarlett turned to climb out of bed she saw that Wade was standing in her doorway.

"Wade, darling," Scarlett extended her hand. Wade came over and hugged his mother fiercely as she stood from the bed.

"Ah's get you some tea," Mammy said and she left the room.

Scarlett walked Wade to the sofa and sat down. Wade stayed curled into her side as Scarlett's breathing and heart continued to calm.

"What did you dream?" Wade asked softly.

"Oh, nothing, Wade, it was just a nightmare."

Wade frowned, "Did Uncle Rhett hurt you?"

"No, of course not."

"Mother, you were screaming 'Rhett, no, stop', are you sure he wasn't hurting you?"

Scarlett sighed, it seemed she'd have to either tell her son what she was dreaming or allow Wade to think Rhett was hurting her in her sleep, or worse, that Rhett was actually beating her.

"Darling," Scarlett smoothed her fingers through Wade's hair as she spoke, "Uncle Rhett wasn't hurting me. I dreamed that he died."

"Why did you tell him to stop then?"

Scarlett's eyes filled with unbidden tears, "I dreamed he had an accident like Bonnie's and I wanted him to stop riding."

"Oh," Wade said nodding his understanding.

"You are afraid he will die?"

"Yes. Of course, I'm afraid all of you will die."

"And that's why you don't have bad dreams when he's here? Because you know he's not dead?"

Scarlett frowned, "I do sometimes have bad dreams when he's here, Wade, but I guess he wakes me before I scream too loudly."

"Oh," Wade said sounding disappointed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Mammy bustled in with tea and two cups.

"Thank you, Mammy," Scarlett smiled. Scarlett and Mammy exchanged a look Wade didn't understand and then Mammy left, closing the door softly behind herself.

"Mother, why do you love Uncle Rhett?"

Scarlett shrugged, "I just do."

"That's not an answer," Wade said petulantly and Scarlett laughed.

"It's hard to explain, darling. I love him because he understands me, because I understand him and there is just something in me that swells up with happiness and comfort when we are together."

"Even when he's being mean?"

Scarlett frowned and sipped her tea before speaking, "Wade, I didn't realize for a long time that I loved Uncle Rhett and I think that's partly because he was mean, and I was mean too. But now that I know, now that I understand the feeling of love, I do love him, even when he's mean and even when he's not here."

"I don't understand."

"I know," said Scarlett sadly.

"But, Mother—"

"Wade," Scarlett interrupted, "I'm not sure there is a way I can explain it to you. I think you will understand though when you find the woman that you love. It's a very strong, inexplicable, confusing feeling."

Wade nodded glumly feeling that he had gotten no answers and the topic was closed.

"Come, darling," Scarlett said as she rose from the sofa, "go back to bed."

"Will you be all right?" Wade asked.

"Yes," Scarlett answered and kissed her son's forehead.

After closing the door behind Wade, Scarlett climbed back into bed and curled onto her side. She stared at Rhett's vacant pillow for a while before thinking, Rhett will be home June first, in less than a month and I just won't think about him until then.

As the days passed, Scarlett found it surprisingly easy not to think about Rhett. She called frequently upon her old talisman of thinking of things tomorrow, the skill that had seemed to leave her when Rhett had, and whenever he entered her thoughts Scarlett told herself that she couldn't stand to think about Rhett now, so she'd think about him June first and went about her business. Soon, Scarlett's thoughts of Rhett became no less frequent, but they stopped hurting. Scarlett found herself remembering happier times, the day they'd gone on a picnic during the war, before Rhett had handed her that damned handkerchief, how they used to dance and dance at the social events during the war, several conversations they'd had sitting on Aunt Pitty's porch during the siege, Wade often sleeping in Rhett's lap, how freely they'd talked when Rhett used to meet her in the woods and drive her two and from the mills, the way Rhett would cradle her to his chest as if she were precious, the stories he used to tell her when they laid in bed at night after he'd taken her. Without noticing Scarlett began to smile at her thoughts of Rhett. Scarlett's ache for Rhett became less a desperate longing and more warm. She missed him. She missed the sound of his voice and his laugh. She missed his smell and the way his steady heartbeat under his warm skin so often lulled her into sleep.

§§§ – Sunday, May 3, 1874 - Rhett

Rhett was feeling no better as the days passed. His thoughts were often on Scarlett and the children. He'd bought an entire trunkful of gifts for the children, but nothing for Scarlett. Rhett thought about the sorts of clothing and jewelry Scarlett enjoyed and made a decision.

Leaving his trunks Rhett packed a valise and went to the port. He'd go to Paris to get Scarlett dress material and perhaps a hat or two. As he steamed towards Calais Rhett wondered what had happened to the green bonnet he'd brought her during the war. No doubt, some Yankee woman had it now. Rhett would buy Scarlett another.

Rhett spent two days in Paris, during which time he bought several bolts of silk and muslin and bombazine for dresses for Scarlett and Ella. He knew he had gone a bit overboard but thought that Scarlett would probably want an entirely new wardrobe after spending a year in mourning. He bought Scarlett a new green hat and a red one to match some of the red silk he'd bought. He also bought Ella a pink bonnet. Then he went to his favorite Paris tailor and bought a few new suits for himself and a bolt of black broadcloth and of heather grey broadcloth for clothes for Wade and Beau. Rhett also bought Scarlett a necklace and earrings. The necklace was a pendant that looked like the sun with a large diamond, Bonnie's birthstone, surrounded by tiny gold triangles with a small aquamarine stones, his and Scarlett's birthstone, in each. Rhett thought about getting something with Wade and Ella's birthstones as well, but thought he'd rather get Scarlett something that matched so he bought teardrop shaped aquamarine earrings that swung from golden chains with a tiny diamond on each ear stud.

When Rhett returned to London on Wednesday, May 6, there was finally a letter from Scarlett and the children. Reading it over Rhett knew. The warmth spread through him like good scotch. He missed Scarlett and the children and where he wanted to be was Atlanta. Before even writing back, Rhett rushed to the shipping office. He could leave tomorrow and sail to New York and take a train back to Atlanta, that would put him there between the 23rd and the 26th or he could wait until Monday and take a steamer to Savannah and then only a one day train ride to Atlanta and he would arrive there between the 25th and the 28th. Ships were much more comfortable than trains, but Rhett wanted to be home. He booked the passage to New York, stopped at the telegraph office to tell Scarlett he was sailing to New York the next day and she could send letters general post to him there, and then returned to his hotel to supervise packing. He was going home.

§§§ – Wednesday, May 20, 1874

On Wednesday, May 20, Scarlett sat at the desk in her office after the children had gone to bed and flipped through her calendar. Her flux hadn't come. And the more she thought about it, it hadn't come in a quite some time. Scarlett flipped the pages back and forth as she calculated. Her flux had come February 26, just before Rhett had come home, but it should have come March 25th, April 21st, and now Monday the 18th. She was with child.

Scarlett rubbed her throbbing temples as she thought back over the long weeks. She'd been feeling more tired and more emotional that she usually did, but she hadn't had any sickness. She'd had terrible nausea and vomiting with all four of her other babies. Scarlett closed her eyes and thought of the baby that had never been born and of Bonnie. She would have to see doctor Meade to make sure her lack of nausea didn't mean there was a problem with the baby. Rhett's baby, Scarlett thought and put her hand on her still flat abdomen. Rhett. Scarlett felt her heart begin to beat against her stays. Would Rhett be angry? Would he be pleased? Rhett loved babies. Maybe he would be happy.

I can't think about that now, I'll think about it tomorrow Scarlett resolved as she walked upstairs to bed. She'd see doctor Meade tomorrow and then think about Rhett.

§§§

Dr. Meade confirmed Scarlett was with child and told her the baby would likely arrive in late November or early December. After Dr. Meade assured her several times that an absence of nausea didn't mean something was wrong and there was no reason to be worried, Scarlett thanked him and then went to the store, her mind racing.

She was having Rhett's baby. It was her chance to love a piece of Rhett. Scarlett wished she knew when Rhett was arriving in New York. Was he there already? Scarlett thought about writing him, Rhett might be upset with her if she didn't, last time he'd been gone when she realized she was expecting she didn't know where to write him. She did know now. She knew she could write, but how could she tell him? What should she say? What if he didn't come home after she'd written?

Scarlett waited two days before sitting down at her desk Saturday morning and pulling out paper to write Rhett a letter. She wrote a greeting and then paused, what should she say? Should she just write she was in the family way? Should she lead up to it somehow? Scarlett tried to remember the conversation when Melly had asked her about what to write to Ashley, but she couldn't. What did Melly write to Ashley to tell him Beau was coming?

As her mind tried to recall that distant day the thought struck her, what if Rhett read the news and was angry and never came back? No, Scarlett thought replacing her pen and sliding the paper back into a drawer. She'd wait a few more days and see if she got a letter from Rhett. Besides, Rhett would be home a week from Monday on the first. Perhaps she would wait and tell him then.

§§§ - Thursday, May 21, 1874

Rhett sighed as he sank back into one of the heavily cushioned chairs of his first class rail cabin Thursday night, he would be home Sunday morning.

His passage to New York had felt interminably long. Rhett had often paced the deck staring at the sun glistening on the water and dreaming of Scarlett. Rhett dreamed of her breath on his neck, her soft skin, of the way she shuddered and trembled beneath him. He thought of her tinkling laugh when she was happy and the glinting fire in her eyes when she was furious. Rhett often thought of when they'd first been married. She had seemed so willing then, and Rhett had been so hopeful before it had all gone so terribly wrong. Rhett recalled brushing his wife's hair and unlacing her and the way she would just sort of collapse into him after he'd taken her. He smiled at the memories of the way she would curl her body into his and absentmindedly run her fingers through his chest hair while he smoked and told her stories of his blockading and gold mining days.

Rhett often wondered what had happened to turn her from him. Damn that Ashley Wilkes Rhett thought. Whenever his mother's voice floated into his memory whispering that Rhett had acted like his father or that Scarlett was afraid of him, he dismissed the thoughts quickly. His mother was wrong about that. Ashley Wilkes was the real problem between him and Scarlett.

As his train approached Atlanta, Rhett began to feel lighter. His mother was right about one thing, he and Scarlett belonged together. Rhett knew he would still have to periodically escape the memories and the monstrosity of a house they called home, but as he steadily approached Atlanta he was ready. He was going home and Scarlett was waiting for him.

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_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Special thanks to: _ _EmmaElizaRose, Livisa, pmk kelly, __Sarah,Shilo, __ MissTricey, COCO B, __Aethelfraed, Nuala Lady of the Lake, Sprout76, gabyhyatt, Trukee Gal, Jennybenny2845, tamtay, and guests 1 and 2 for your wonderful and insightful reviews! I cannot express how much I appreciate your reviews and PMs._


	14. Changes, Sunday, May 24, 1874

_Disclaimer: Would that they were mine. _

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§§§ - Sunday, May 24, 1874

Joy burgeoned in Rhett's chest as he walked up the steps of his Peachtree mansion in the early afternoon of Sunday, May 24th. Scarlett would be surprised he was home over a week earlier than he'd promised. Rhett couldn't wait to see the smile light up her face.

Rhett opened the door and stepped into the entry way and was still removing his hat when Pork hurried to his side. As he handed Pork his hat and valise he asked, "Is dinner over?"

"No suh, the chillin's eatin but Miz Scarlett she in you room. She doan eat today."

Rhett cocked his head, that was odd. Scarlett always had a voracious appetite, in fact Rhett wasn't sure how she always remained so lithe given she ate enough to be the equal of her Aunt Pitty in girth.

"Is she ill?"

"I doan knows, suh."

Rhett nodded, "take my things up, I'll greet the children and then go see Scarlett."

Pork nodded and stepped outside to see that Rhett's trunks were brought around to the back entrance and up the stairs.

Rhett greeted the children, Ella and Beau both leaped from their chairs and hugged him. Wade stood slowly and shook his stepfather's hand.

"How is your mother, Wade, is she ill?" Rhett asked.

Wade glared, "I suppose so, sir."

Rhett was disappointed. Wade had been varying degrees of warm and cold during Rhett's last few visits, but Rhett thought the boy had seemed less hostile at the end of Rhett's last visit, after they'd talked while riding. Well, now wasn't the time to address his stepson's cool demeanor. Rhett needed to see Scarlett first.

Rhett quickly excused himself and went upstairs.

When he entered the master suite he saw Lou unpacking one of his trunks and Mammy standing next to Scarlett who was seated on the sofa near the fireplace with a tray next to her. Rhett surveyed Scarlett for a minute, she was dressed in a wrapper with her hair in its single long sleeping braid down he back. She looked young and vulnerable and Rhett felt the love swell in his heart at the sight.

"Why doan you eat jus' a little?" Mammy coaxed.

"No, Mammy, not now, I …" Scarlett stopped speaking as soon as she noticed Rhett.

Rhett walked over and kissed her cheek, then eyeing Mammy asked, "are you ill, my dear?"

Mammy clenched her jaw and walked away hollering, "Lou!"

Once Mammy closed the door behind herself and Lou, Rhett moved the tray to the coffee table and sat next to Scarlett.

"Scarlett?"

"I'm not ill."

"Why aren't you eating?"

"I don't feel much like eating."

"Scarlett, you always feel like eating. You must be ill. Have you sent for Dr. Meade?"

"No, Rhett. I'm not ill, I…" Scarlett bit her lip and looked down and Rhett knew. Ice flooded his veins.

"You won't trap me here with a child, Scarlett."

"I'm not trying to trap you," Scarlett said hotly.

"Oh, no? That wasn't your plan all along? To get me in your bed to get you with child? Did you think I would stay?"

"No, Rhett, this … this was most certainly not my plan."

"No? Then why pray tell did you offer to let me return to your bed?"

"So you would stop going to that woman's and humiliating me!" Scarlett exclaimed. "Besides, I didn't think you would." Scarlett's voice trailed off as she wondered if she shouldn't have voiced that last part.

Rhett chuckled, "Quite the little gambler you are. You were bluffing. And I called your bluff."

"No, not… not exactly. I thought you didn't want me, that you didn't love me anymore, so, I … didn't think you'd come back to our bed."

"Do you regret it?" Rhett asked the hard edge disappearing from his voice.

"No," Scarlett whispered, overcome with his sudden tenderness. She blinked away her tears and looked up, "Will you be here when the baby is born? Doctor Meade thinks late November or early December."

Rhett surveyed his wife. She looked anxious. Under his scrutiny she reached out and clasped both her hands tightly around his.

Scarlett wanted to beg, she wanted to remind Rhett of his promise to come back often enough to keep the gossip down, but she wouldn't. She would not beg him. He would never respect her, never really come home, if she begged.

Rhett could see the fight in her eyes. He knew exactly what words she was struggling not to say. As he watched and Scarlett said nothing else Rhett had to admit to himself he was proud of her tenacity.

"I'll try, Scarlett," Rhett said evenly.

Scarlett nodded and rose. As she walked to the bed and pulled the bell pull Rhett asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to have Mammy come dress me. It's Sunday and everyone will be here for supper soon."

"Scarlett, they won't be here for hours. Come eat some dinner."

"No, I don't want to."

"I do. Now, come have dinner with me."

Rhett stood and extended his elbow. Scarlett walked over and took it. As Rhett led her down to the dining room Scarlett wondered what he was thinking. Was he angry? He'd seemed angry at first, but he was being perfectly friendly now and he was going to force her to eat, so he must care.

§§§

Lieutenant Jeffries attended Sunday supper again. As soon as Aunt Pitty, India, Ashley and Jeffries were shown into the parlor Scarlett leaped to her feet and greeted them all warmly. But before they were all seated to wait to be called into supper, Scarlett pulled India out of the parlor and into her office. Jeffries, Rhett and Ashley all watched them go, but Aunt Pitty seemed oblivious. Rhett was contemplating following the ladies, but the children came into the parlor and Ella climbing onto Rhett's lap eagerly filled him with warmth. Rhett had been so sure he wanted to be back in Atlanta with Scarlett and the children until he'd arrived and heard her news. Now he felt uncertain. The itch to run trickled down his back at moments and then something would happen, like Beau turning and asking him a question while Rhett told them about London in the nursery that afternoon and Wade smiling at the answer or Ella crawling into his lap and he knew he could not leave.

"What is it?" India asked as Scarlett closed the door behind them.

"I…I'm in the family way. I just realized a few days ago and I just told Rhett when he got back today, and …" Scarlett wasn't sure how to broach this topic.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Scarlett," India smiled.

"Thank you," Scarlett smiled back.

"Are you happy?" India asked, wondering if that was why Scarlett had pulled her away from the family.

"Yes," Scarlett beamed, "I am. Very happy. And, uh, a bit worried after what happened…last time…but I'm so very happy."

"Good," India squeezed Scarlett's arm, "you deserve some happiness."

Scarlett burst into laughter and grabbed India's retreating arm. India looked shocked.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Scarlett said as she calmed down, "it's just, could you ever imagine us having this conversation before?"

"No!" India began to laugh as well.

"Was there something else?" India asked after they stopped laughing.

"Yes. India," Scarlett began tentatively, "may I give your engagement party soon? I want to do it before I have to be in confinement."

India smiled a brilliant smile at Scarlett, "I would like that."

"Good!" Scarlett exclaimed, "I was thinking we could have the party either Friday, June 19th or Saturday the 20th? What do you think?"

"That sounds lovely, Scarlett, thank you."

Scarlett smiled, "What kind of party would you like? A ball? A dinner party?"

"I think I would like a barbeque, like the old days," India whispered.

"Yes," Scarlett smiled wanly, "that would be lovely, we'll do that on Saturday the 20th. I'll start arranging things." But Scarlett did not like the idea of a barbeque at all. She did not want to think about the old days ever, ever again.

§§§

"Why didn't you write?" Rhett asked as he undid the buttons down Scarlett's back that night.

"I only realized a few days ago…" Scarlett evaded.

"Yet you didn't write or telegram."

"I thought about it. I was going to write soon, but…"

"But what, Scarlett?" Rhett asked as he began on her laces.

Scarlett said nothing until Rhett had unlaced her. As he tossed her corset away Scarlett stretched her sides and then turned to face him.

"Scarlett?" Rhett asked as he tossed his frock coat away and Scarlett stepped out of the pool of dress and petticoats at her feet. The small bump that showed his child within her was obvious once her corset had been removed and she stood dressed in her chemise and pantalets.

Rhett scooped Scarlett into his arms and strode to the seating area in front of the fireplace. He sat in an armchair with Scarlett on his lap. Scarlett put her arm around him and slid her fingers up into his hair.

"Tell me, Scarlett," Rhett asked softly.

"I was so happy, so happy last time, Rhett. It was the first time I was ever happy to be having a baby, but I didn't think you'd be happy and I didn't know where you were. So, I couldn't write. I thought about writing to you in care of your mother, but what if you weren't there? Everyone would know you..." Scarlett trailed off and looked away briefly before turning back and continuing, "This time I was so worried the baby wasn't okay when I realized that I was with child but wasn't ill, that I didn't even notice how happy I was until Dr. Meade told me the baby was well. But then I worried you wouldn't be happy and I was afraid to write. But, I've been thinking about all of the things that are different this time. I knew where you were and I could write you and you'd promised to come back. So, I'd decided to include the news in my next reply to you, but I haven't received a letter in the last few days."

"You were happy?" Rhett asked slowly.

"Yes," Scarlett smiled at Rhett with watery, sparkling eyes, "then and now."

Rage flashed through Rhett. This woman who had wanted to get rid of Bonnie was happy about this baby Rhett didn't want. But on the heels of the rage came terror. Last time he'd reacted to her news with derision and she'd almost died.

Rhett wrapped his arms tightly around Scarlett and crushed her to his chest. She wouldn't fall, she would be all right. He'd deal with a new baby.

Rhett began to kiss Scarlett's cheeks and down her neck before lifting her chemise over her head. Scarlett's chest was pleasantly pink and Rhett drew one of her erect nipples into his mouth. Scarlett's fingers tightened in Rhett's hair.

Rhett put his hand over the small bump and releasing her nipple asked, "How did you not know?"

Scarlett laughed, "Because I wasn't ill. You know all of the other babies made me so sick and," Scarlett flushed brightly and stumbled over her words, she didn't want Rhett to think about when she'd threatened to get rid of Bonnie, Scarlett never wanted to think about that moment again. "Well, this baby hasn't made me sick at all, so I didn't realize," Scarlett continued carefully. "I had a headache on Wednesday and you know how I sometimes get them when it's my time so I checked my calendar and realized it…ah, it hadn't been my time in a while."

"Since when?"

"February, right before your birthday was the last time," Scarlett was bright red as she answered. She could not believe this was a conversation she was having. How could Rhett be comfortable discussing something so vile and irritating as a woman's flux, Scarlett wondered.

"But how did you not notice this?" Rhett caressed her belly.

"It wasn't there!" Scarlett said smiling, "It just popped out yesterday morning a bit."

Rhett didn't say anything. The bump was very small and he supposed Scarlett being Scarlett she might not have let herself notice it until she knew she was having a baby.

Rhett caressed Scarlett's cheek and stared into her eyes for a moment, she looked both hopeful and anxious. Rhett wasn't sure how he felt about having another child, but he knew how much he had missed Scarlett. Rhett brought Scarlett's lips to his and kissed her hungrily. Scarlett's whole body seemed to rise up to meet his and she wrapped both arms tightly around Rhett's neck.

Rhett shifted his arms so one was around Scarlett's back and the other under her knees and he stood and carried Scarlett over to the bed. Rhett set Scarlett gently down on the edge and then stood and removed his cravat pin and began loosening his cravat. Scarlett rose to her knees and began to unbutton his waistcoat and shirt.

Rhett removed his cufflinks and toed off his shoes as Scarlett continued to unbutton. When she'd untucked his shirt and shoved it as far down his arms as she could reach she returned swiftly to unbuttoning. Rhett chuckled as he removed his shirt and watched Scarlett unbutton his pants. Scarlett smiled up at him, her eyes darkened to emerald and glistening. The feel of her fingers brushing against him was sending sparks of pleasure through him. As soon as Scarlett finished Rhett shoved down his pants and drawers and stepped out of them. Scarlett knelt and watched smiling in nothing but her pantalets.

Once he was naked Rhett knelt on the bed in front of Scarlett and she shuffled backwards to make room giggling. Rhett lips found hers and he began to devour her. Shocks of pleasure and heat shot through Scarlett as Rhett's hot mouth moved over hers. Rhett shoved her pantalets down and Scarlett broke their kiss to sit and remove them completely.

As Scarlett made to return to kneeling, Rhett put out a hand to hold her down and then leaned over and drew one of her nipples into his mouth. Scarlett gasped and reached between them to run her fingers up his manhood. Rhett groaned around her. Rhett moved his mouth to her other nipple and began to tease her folds with his fingers. Scarlett began to squirm and writhe beneath him and she grasped his manhood hard and stroked him.

Rhett wanted to spend more time teasing her, he wanted to taste her and to make her scream the way she had the day left, but he couldn't wait another minute to be inside her. Rhett shifted so he was between her legs and began to push himself inside her slowly for fear he'd finish at once. Scarlett evidently didn't like his slow pace, she wrapped her legs around his hips and tried to pull him in faster as her arms tried to bring his chest down to hers.

Rhett resisted and continued to slide into her slowly, Scarlett's eyes opened and met Rhett's he could see her love shining brightly in her eyes. The sight brought tears to Rhett's eyes and he slid home and leaned down to kiss her neck so she could not see them. She loved him. Rhett had never really been certain before that moment.

Rhett's mind raced a short time later as Scarlett slept her hand on his neck and her breath softly tickling the fine hairs there on his chest. She loved him. Scarlett had told him she loved him the terrible day Melanie died and before he left for London, but he saw it and knew it to be true when he'd taken her tonight.

Recalling the little gasps and moans she made and the look of love on her face sent sparks of electricity through Rhett. But he was also terrified. A baby. In the back of his mind he should have known. Scarlett was always having babies, but he had not prepared himself for this. He had been so happy, so, so happy, to come home to Scarlett and Wade, Ella, and Beau, but he had not counted on a new baby. Could he love a child? Did he want to? What if he ruined another baby the way he'd ruined Bonnie? Should he leave now before it came and his heart was broken?

§§§ – Monday, May 25, 1874

When the children and Scarlett arrived home Monday afternoon he called them all into the library.

"But, Rhett," Scarlett complained, "the children have homework."

Rhett looked at Scarlett's frown and the eager smiles of Ella & Beau. Wade looked weary and stood at his mother's elbow.

Remembering his vow to himself not to ruin Ella, Wade, and Beau the way he had Bonnie Rhett forced a smile and said, "Of course, you are right, my dear. Well, children, presents will have to wait until everyone has completed their homework. Go on upstairs."

Ella and Beau turned and scampered into the hall and up the stairs without a word. Scarlett drew her eyebrows together in confusion and Wade stood ramrod straight next to his mother.

"Wade," Rhett smiled as he stepped up to Scarlett, "go and do your homework like your mother asked."

Wade wanted to point out that his mother hadn't actually asked him to go do homework at all, but she turned to him and nodded slightly so Wade turned and walked sulkily away to do his essay on the French Revolution.

"You brought the children gifts?" Scarlett asked her eyes alighting on the two packing crates Rhett had had brought into the library while she was at the store.

"And you, but now you'll have to wait until the children finish their work," Rhett teased her grinning.

Scarlett laughed and swatted his chest, "Be that way then," she smirked, "I've my own work do to anyway."

Scarlett turned to leave the library and go to the office, but at the door she turned back and looked at Rhett again, a slight frown marring her features. She paused and opened her mouth, but instead of saying anything she shook her head slightly and turned and left the room. Rhett watched her go wondering what she was thinking.

Scarlett sat at her desk a few moments later staring at a list of construction supplies and note about the times and reasons they were needed Ashley had given her at Sunday supper the night before. She wasn't taking anything in though, her mind whirred instead with thoughts of Rhett. She'd fully expected Rhett to undermine her in front of the children by telling them they could do their homework later. He would have with Bonnie. Why hadn't he now?

Beau and Ella were giddy and rushed through supper. Even Wade vacillated between grinning broadly at them and frowning at Rhett. Rhett tried not to linger over long over his coffee after all three children and Scarlett had wolfed down their slices of pie and kept eyeing him expectantly.

Rhett met Scarlett's gleaming, emerald eyes and then swallowed his cup of coffee in one. He rose and walked around the table to her before pulling back Scarlett's chair and lifting her by the arm. She was standing at his side smiling up at him before he said, "Shall we?" and the children knew they were excused.

Beau and Ella leaped from their seats and began to run into the hall.

"Children!" Scarlett scowled, "Do not run in the house or you won't see what those presents are for days!"

Both children stopped running and turned back. Ella whispered, "I'm sorry," as she stood and waited for Scarlett, Rhett and Wade to catch up to them in the hall. Beau looked confusedly between Ella who looked very upset and Scarlett. His Auntie Scarlett couldn't possible mean it. Could she?

Wade paused in the dining room doorway. Was his mother angry? But she and Uncle Rhett both seemed content as they walked to the library. Wade followed his heart starting to thud. Wade was not sure if he was glad Uncle Rhett was back. Why did he keep returning only to leave again? How long did he plan on staying? Did he know how Mother screamed for him in the night? Wade wondered if Uncle Rhett knew his mother was going to have a baby again. Mother didn't know that Wade knew, but Wade had heard Prissy telling Dilcey yesterday when Dilcey was waiting for Scarlett to write a note. Wade was angry Uncle Rhett had gotten his mother in the family way. Wade remembered how scared he'd been the day Bonnie was born and the time his mother had fallen after Uncle Rhett and Bonnie had returned after being gone for months. What if something happened to Mother? Or to the new baby? Mother wouldn't be able to stand it. And what if he left her again?

"Wade?" Scarlett's voice floated into the hallway and Uncle Rhett appeared at the library door. Wade hadn't realized he'd gotten so lost in his thoughts he stopped walking.

"Come on, son," Rhett said gently.

Wade clenched his jaw and followed his stepfather into the library.

Rhett cracked open one off the crates and then seated himself on the floor next to it and began pulling out dozens of books. Ella and Beau squealed in delight and began piling the books around their legs. Both Scarlett and Rhett could see Wade trying not to smile as he opened one of the novels and traced his fingers down the cover page. Wade was unable to hide his smile when Rhett presented Beau and Wade with their hand-carved chess sets.

"Wow!" Wade smiled as Beau cried, "Oh my! Thank you!"

"Yes, thank you, Uncle Rhett," Wade smiled genuinely.

Ella squealed with delight and threw her arms around Rhett when he pulled out her tea set and opened the box handing her a tissue paper covered cup. "Thank you! Will you have tea with me?"

"Your mother and I would be delighted to have tea with you and this new doll," Rhett said handing her the doll, "but not tonight. Later this week."

"Thank you!" Ella kissed Rhett's cheek as she crawled into his lap, "thank you, Uncle Rhett. I love my presents. It's better than Christmas."

Rhett glanced up at Scarlett who smiled softly back, her eyes appeared misty.

"Get down, sweetheart," Rhett said to Ella, "let me open this crate."

Rhett lifted Ella off of his lap and stood her up before getting to his knees and prying open the second crate.

"Is it clothes?" Ella asked peering around Rhett's arms.

Rhett laughed at the disappointment in her voice as he put his arm around her and drew her into his side.

"Not, yet, Ella. It's cloth that will become beautiful dresses for you and your mother and some clothes for Wade and Beau."

"Oh, didn't you get cloth for you too? You don't need new clothes?" Ella asked tilting her head at him.

"I did get some new clothes while I was away, but they weren't a present so I packed them in my trunk."

"Oh," said Ella.

"Here," Rhett reached into the crate and pulled out a bolt of emerald green watered silk, "go take that to your mother while I find what I got for you."

Scarlett hugged Ella to her side and laid the huge bolt of silk in her lap. The green seemed to shine brightly against her drab grey mourning dress. Scarlett knew Rhett hated mourning so although she'd continued wearing black most days while he was away, she had decided she would rotate her few light mourning dresses now that he was home. Scarlett was still looking at the silk, running her fingers gently over it, thinking about mourning dresses when she felt Ella being lifted away from her side and heard her giggle.

Rhett settled next to Scarlett with Ella in his lap and put his arm around Scarlett. He was surprised when she came willingly and put her head on his shoulder.

"You don't like the material?" Rhett asked softly.

"Oh, no, it's lovely. And very thoughtful, Rhett, thank you."

Rhett looked down at Scarlett curled against him. Something was wrong, she was never physically affectionate in front of the children and all three had turned to look at Scarlett.

"Children," Rhett commanded, "take whatever books and things you'd like with you tonight upstairs and change for bed before playing. We'll be in shortly. Ella, take your dolls, sweetheart, someone will bring the tea set up tomorrow."

Ella slid off of Rhett's lap and picked up her doll and doll dresses. Wade and Beau both gathered several books and Wade hitched his chess set under his arm. Ella and Beau trooped out of the room without a word, but Wade stopped and turned at the door.

"Mother?" Wade asked, a tremor in his voice, "Are you all right? Should I…" Wade trailed off. He had no idea what to suggest but it was clear his mother was upset.

"No, thank you, Wade." Scarlett lifted her head from Rhett's shoulder to look at her son, "I'm quite all right, go on upstairs."

Wade clenched his jaw and gripped his new belongings so tightly his knuckles turned white. Scarlett, who had laid her head back onto Rhett's shoulder as soon as she finished speaking didn't notice. Rhett did. Wade turned and stalked off. His mother was not "quite all right" something was wrong and Wade was sure it had to do with Uncle Rhett.

"Honey," Rhett whispered reaching down and pulling Scarlett's legs up and across his lap, "you aren't all right. What is it?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Rhett tried to keep the disbelief out of his voice but wasn't sure he was entirely successful.

Scarlett snorted but wrapped her arms around Rhett's torso. Rhett kept his right arm wrapped tightly around Scarlett's shoulders but rubbed his left gently up and down her hip and side waiting for her to elaborate.

"I…it's just…oh," Scarlett huffed in frustration, "this baby makes me cry the way the others made me sick. It's just awful sometimes."

Rhett smiled into her hair. "I'm sure it is," he soothed, "but that's not what this is about. Tell me."

"Rhett?"

"Hmmm?"

"How long are you staying?"

"I don't know."

"Because of your mother?"

"What?"

"You'll stay as long as she does and then leave? Is that why you don't know?"

"No, Scarlett. I don't have any current plans to leave."

"So then, will you be here when the baby comes?"

Rhett felt like lead was being poured into his stomach. He wanted to be able to give Scarlett this. He wanted to ease her worries, but he couldn't promise he'd be here. He wasn't sure how he felt about a baby and he wasn't sure he could be here at all after a baby came.

"I'll try, Scarlett."

Scarlett sniffled into his neck and Rhett sighed. He knew he just needed to take some time to think through what it meant to have another child and what he wanted to do, but a long stretch of quiet time to think seemed unlikely in the near future. His mother was coming sometime in the next few weeks, he knew she would be here for Bonnie's anniversary, and if his mother stayed for a long time it might not be until the fall that he could get away and clear his head.

"Come on, honey," Rhett said softly, "you should lie down and I'll tuck the children in."

Scarlett said nothing as Rhett stood and pulled her up from the sofa and then led her to the bedroom. Rhett rang the bell pull and waited until Mammy appeared before heading to the nursery to tuck in Ella and Beau.

Rhett read Ella and Beau two of the new books he'd brought before tucking them tightly in their beds and putting out the nursery light.

Rhett sighed before pushing open Wade's door, perhaps as Wade saw Rhett care for his mother and stay in Atlanta for a time the boy's concerns would ease Rhett thought as he walked over and sat on the edge of Wade's bed.

Wade's eyes lifted from the book he was reading, "Where's mother?" he asked tonelessly.

"I've asked her to go lie down. She isn't feeling well."

Wade snorted and tucked a bookmark into his book before laying on the bedside table.

Rhett raised an eyebrow, "Why so insolent?"

"It's your fault she doesn't feel well!" Wade accused sitting up.

"Oh," said Rhett nonchalantly. The boy couldn't possibly know about the baby. Could he? Rhett wondered.

"Yes!" Wade hissed. "How long are you staying?"

Rhett frowned. Scarlett asked him the same question. What had happened when he was away?

"Wade, what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Wade looked away uncomfortably.

"What happened while I was away and why do you think it's my fault your mother doesn't feel well?"

Wade bit his lip and paused for a long time before answering, "She had nightmares. Nightmares that you died. I could hear her screaming for you."

Rhett said nothing. Well, that explained Scarlett's sudden clinging and Wade's anger. Scarlett's nightmares plagued her even when Rhett was here, but perhaps Wade didn't know that.

"Son," Rhett said gently, "she dreams those dreams when I'm here too."

"I know," Wade ground out, "she told me you wake her before she screams too loudly."

Rhett's impassive mask stared back at Wade. Interesting, Rhett thought, he had not imagined Scarlett told so much to her son.

"Yes, I do. It's unfortunate that I can't prevent her from having nightmares, Wade, but I cannot."

"Yes, you can. Beau used to have terrible nightmares but now he's here every day, he lives here and mother cares for him and he doesn't have them anymore. You could be here and care for my mother everyday and she wouldn't have them."

Rhett stifled a smile at the boy's naivete. "Well, son, I guess you'll have to ask your mother if that works because I will be here for a while."

"How long?"

"I'm not certain."

"Why not?"

"I don't currently have any trips planned, but as you know I have several business interests and they sometimes require my attention. Now, it's time for bed. Goodnight, Wade."

Wade laid back down and Rhett ruffled his hair before rising and putting out the light.

"Goodnight, Uncle Rhett," Wade whispered at Rhett's back as he left the room.

When Rhett entered the bedroom, Scarlett was sitting on the sofa in a nightgown and dressing gown staring at nothing. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and her long sleeping braid hung over her shoulder. She said nothing but turned to watch him as Rhett removed his frock coat cravat pin, cravat, cufflinks, waistcoat, shirt, shoes, stockings and trousers. Rhett frowned as his slid his nightshirt over his drawers. She looked exhausted. Rhett didn't bother with the remainder of his nightclothes, but went to the sofa and sat down next to Scarlett before pulling her into his lap. Scarlett put her arm around his back and slid her fingers into his hair but still said nothing.

"Are you having nightmares that I die?" Rhett asked softly.

Scarlett's face drained of color and she turned widened eyes onto her husband.

"Rhett…"

"Wade told me. He's angry with me for making you cry."

Scarlett nodded, her face pinched.

"Honey, why haven't you told me what you've been dreaming? That's what you dreamed when I was here last too?"

Scarlett nodded.

"What are you dreaming?"

Scarlett shook her head no.

Rhett frowned, "Scarlett."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But you talked to Wade about it."

Scarlett flushed with embarrassment, "He heard me screaming and he thought…he thought I was screaming … something else."

"What?" Rhett asked perplexed, "What did he think you were screaming?"

"He heard me screaming 'no' and he thought you were hurting me. He wouldn't stop asking me questions and he was very upset so I had to tell him that I dreamed you were dying not that you were hurting me. I couldn't let him think that."

A rush of warm tingling love flooded through Rhett at these words. Scarlett loved him so much that she protected him in her son's eyes even when it embarrassed her and she was upset herself.

Rhett brought her mouth to his and poured all of his love and passion for her into his kiss.

When Scarlett turned her face away panting hard a few minutes later, Rhett kissed her temple and whispered, "Come, you look exhausted. You need to sleep."

Rhett scooched them to the edge of the sofa and then stood and carried Scarlett to the bed. He placed Scarlett down at her pillow and then pulled down the sheets under her legs. Then Rhett reached up to help her remove her dressing gown, tossing it over his shoulder as she scooted down. Once she was laying Rhett pulled the sheets up to her chin and kissed her forehead as if she were Ella.

"Rhett!" Scarlett whispered reaching an arm out and grabbing his wrist when he stepped away from the bed.

"I'm not leaving, I was just going to walk around to my side."

Scarlett pulled and Rhett slid into the bed next to her instead of walking around to his side. Scarlett immediately rolled over and pushed her face into his neck.

"Honey, you are not acting like yourself at all. Should I send for Dr. Meade?" Rhett asked. When Scarlett had first become withdrawn Rhett had assumed she was just tired or was emotional because of the pregnancy. But now Rhett was worried.

"Scarlett, I'm serious. Either tell me what's wrong or I'm going to have to send for Dr. Meade."

"Rhett…I…why can't you promise me you'll be here when the baby comes? I'm so afraid you'll leave and I'm … I don't think I can bear it," Scarlett's whisper was barely audible and her voice shook as she spoke.

Rhett felt like he'd been doused in cold water. He had spent weeks traveling home to hold Scarlett in his arms again and to love her the way he'd always wanted to but her news had rocked him to his core. And now instead of rejoicing that he was home and had no plans to leave she was worrying he was going to leave her again. Their reunion was not going anything like he'd imagined.

"Scarlett," Rhett pulled her face up to his and kissed her forehead and then her cheek before kissing the tip of her nose and looking into her pea green eyes, "honey, I will do everything I possibly can do be here when the baby comes. I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I promise. I already told you, I have no plans to leave."

"So, you are home to stay? Forever?" Scarlett's whole face lit up.

"Scarlett, you know as well as I do I'll have to travel again at some point. I can't promise you to never leave Atlanta again."

Scarlett frowned, "But this is your home. Right? And you'll travel when you need to, not to escape?"

"Yes. Despite my dislike of this architectural horror, it's home."

"What do you mean?"

"I hate this house, Scarlett," Rhett sighed.

"Oh. I know. I didn't know before. I wish you'd told me. I've been thinking of making it over, but …" Scarlett trailed off.

"But what?"

"Well, Rhett, I… wasn't sure what you would say. You hated my first choices but you let me make them anyway. How am I to know what would be acceptable to you?"

"I told you last time you were making it an architectural horror and that it resembled a brothel," Rhett laughed.

"Yes! But not once did you tell me no, or change my orders or make another suggestion. You approved every purchase! You let me do this and then you made fun of me for years for making this mistake. And how am I know that isn't what you want again?" Scarlett asked in a small voice.

Rhett frowned as he recalled that just last September he'd told her she didn't know the difference between glister and gold.

"I think your tastes have improved over the years. Why don't you start doing over the house now? I'll increase the account for household expenditures."

"Why don't you help me, or... or, why don't you make it over with me?"

Rhett looked into Scarlett's pale, hopeful face and said, "If that will make you happy."

"Good," Scarlett squeezed him tightly to her and then to Rhett's surprised she tilted her face up to his and kissed him. Her kiss was slow and sweet and for this first time she ever kissed him this way, Rhett let her set the pace.

When he felt the pressure was too much to bear and if she kissed him for one second longer he would have to take her, Rhett pulled his lips from hers and rested his chin on her head.

"Go to sleep, honey," Rhett whispered, "you are exhausted."

Rhett laid there cradling Scarlett to his chest for a long time after her fingers finally relaxed their grip on his nightshirt thinking about Scarlett, Bonnie, babies and the jewelry he hadn't yet given to Scarlett.

* * *

Author's_ Note: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews and PMs. They mean so much to me and keep me writing. Special thanks to Rhett's love, __COCO B, Sarah,Shilo,__ MissTricey, __Livisa, pmk kelly, gabyhyatt, Truckee Gal, Aethelfraed, Conlyn70, SarRansom, EmmaElizaRose, Kinderby, Romabeachgirl, gogomohamed229, __and guest._


	15. Anniversaries, Thursday, June 4, 1874

_Disclaimer: Sadly, they aren't mine. (I promise I checked.)_

* * *

In the two weeks before Eleanor Butler's arrival Scarlett frequently perused Harper's Weekly and showed Rhett pictures asking what he thought.

"The first things that have to go, Scarlett, are everything gilt-framed and wrought iron on the walls and these awful draperies. The house is so dim," Rhett told her one evening as they sat on the sofa in the library waiting for supper and the children to finish their homework.

Scarlett directed Pork and Prissy to remove everything from the walls the next day.

"Oh! But the paper has faded and looks a nightmare!" Scarlett cried when she saw the faded and darkened squares.

Rhett laughed, "Well, my dear, add new paper to your list. If you don't want it to fade, don't select such dark paper. Besides, the darkness is what makes this place so dreary."

"But your mother is coming and the house looks horrible. Rhett! What will she think?"

Rhett sighed, the horror of the Atlanta house was one of the many reasons Rhett had never wanted his mother to visit. He'd never asked what Eleanor had thought of the house after she'd visited when Bonnie…Rhett stopped himself from thinking along these lines.

"She's been here before. We'll just tell her we are redoing the house and she'll be thrilled to help. In fact, you may not be able to stop her from helping." Rhett warned.

Scarlett frowned but said nothing.

"Let's just take it room by room, starting with that dreadful parlor," Rhett suggested.

Scarlett laughed, "It is dreadfully uncomfortable."

"Yes. I'll have that furniture taken out and burned."

"No! Rhett, don't be silly."

"I'm not being silly. Everyone hates that horsehair, even you. We can strip the room bare, no furniture, carpets, ugly dark drapes or paper and make it the first one redone."

"Yes," said Scarlett slowly, "it will be nice when it's comfortable to sit in there. And you are right, it is awfully dreary," Scarlett giggled.

Scarlett made Pork rehang everything but the items from the parlor to cover the dark spots for Eleanor's arrival. Rhett hid his smirk from her. He was glad Scarlett wanted to redo the house. He wanted every inch of the place changed so that he'd never know it was the same house. There was nothing to be done about the cupolas and turrets and scrollwork on the exterior, but Rhett felt if they made the interior warm and welcoming he might be able to be happy there.

§§§ – Thursday, June 4, 1874

Thursday morning Scarlett asked Rhett if she could go with to the station to retrieve Mrs. Butler, but he'd refused telling her she wasn't going to wait in the heat and dust at the depot in her condition. So, Scarlett went to the store in the morning as usual and Pork retrieved her just before dinnertime. Scarlett and Rhett ate dinner together quietly.

Rhett continually eyed Scarlett's plate, remembering her fits of refusing to eat when she'd been with Bonnie. But Scarlett didn't feel nauseous at all and ate ravenously. Rhett stifled a smile. It was good to see her acting like her old self, the image of Scarlett scarfing down everything set before her on their honeymoon filled Rhett's chest with warmth.

"What are you going to do while I'm at the station?" Rhett asked as he helped Scarlett rise from the table.

"Mmmm," Scarlett hummed, "I have some store inventory to go through so I can place orders and I want to look through some catalogues of home furnishings. I can't believe the parlor is empty now that your mother is arriving. We need to select furniture and carpet and wall paper soon."

Rhett nodded and led her into the office, "Mother will be fine sitting with us in the library until the parlor is finished. Don't fret."

But Rhett fretted as he stood on the platform with Pork at his side a short time later. What would his mother think of the house? Would she and Scarlett get along? What would she say about the baby? Would she meddle?

Rhett's reverie wasn't broken until the train pulled up to the platform in a rush of steam and dust and noise. Rhett blew dust out of his nose into his handkerchief, grateful he'd made Scarlett wait at the house, and stepped forward to find his mother.

§

Scarlett was waiting in the entryway when Rhett opened the door to lead his mother inside.

"Rhett! Mrs. Butler!" Scarlett cried rushing forward to take Eleanor's hat and gloves and to kiss her mother-in-law's cheek.

"Now, now," Eleanor smiled brightly, "absolutely none of that, call me mother."

Scarlett's eyes flicked to Rhett's before saying, "Oh, I'm sorry. Please, come in. We are doing over the parlor so please come into the library. Unless you would like to freshen up first."

"No, no, the library is fine."

Scarlett settled Eleanor and herself on the comfortable brown leather sofa in the library and Rhett sat in one of the large armchairs facing them.

Both Rosa, Mrs. Butler's servant and Lou followed them in asking if anyone needed tea or other refreshment.

"Rosa," Eleanor turned to her, "retrieve their anniversary gift, please."

"Lou, have Mammy show Rosa Mrs. Butler's room and where she will be staying and when you are finished please bring us tea and lemonade."

"Course Miz Scarlett," Lou answered and she and Rosa left the room.

"I know your anniversary isn't until tomorrow, but I have your anniversary present," Eleanor said as she clasped Scarlett's hands.

"Oh, Mrs. Butler, that was very generous of you, thank you," Scarlett gushed.

"Nonsense. And call me mother not Mrs. Butler, you are also Mrs. Butler and it's just silly. I am your mother now and you should address me as such," Eleanor said sternly.

Scarlett could see where Rhett got his commanding tone. Scarlett smiled and squeezed her mother-in-law's hands saying, "Of course, Mother," softly.

"Have you any plans to celebrate your anniversary?" Eleanor smiled.

"Mother," Rhett didn't bother to hide the warning in his tone, "I'm sure you are tired from your travels and would like to freshen up before supper."

"Oh, nonsense," Eleanor acted as if her son's suggestion had been just that, "I'm perfectly well. I'd like to give you your gifts first and Rosa needs to unpack before I freshen up anyway. Now, are you going to do something to celebrate? Six years is it?"

Rhett clenched his fists and thrust them into his trouser pockets. His mother had been in the house five minutes and she was already meddling. Rhett wondered how long she would stay.

"Yes, six," answered Scarlett softly, "though, we aren't planning on celebrating, I'm in mourning."

Good answer, Rhett thought. His mother wouldn't be able to say anything to that.

"Yes. You are. Perhaps though the children and I can have supper in the kitchen tomorrow so the two of you may dine alone as a sort of mini-celebration."

"Oh—" Scarlett started, but Rhett cut in before Scarlett could accept his mother's offer, "That's very kind, Mother, but that won't be necessary."

"Nonsense. I insist. It will help me get to know the children. When will they return?"

"School lets out in a few minutes," Scarlett answered glancing at the carriage clock on the mantlepiece, Pork should be back with them in about half an hour.

Rosa appeared in the doorway holding two packages tied with silver ribbons. She placed them both in Rhett's lap.

"These are heavy mother," Rhett said as he moved to sit next to Scarlett on the sofa. Rhett handed Scarlett the smaller package and she untied the silver ribbons and then tore off the paper.

"Oh!" Scarlett cried as a large box of chocolate truffles appeared from the wrappings, "These look lovely, Mother! Thank you."

"Yes, you are welcome, dear. Candy for sweetness you know."

"And iron for strength," Scarlett finished.

Rhett stifled his eye roll. It was just like his mother to give them a traditional sixth anniversary gift.

"Open this one too," Rhett gestured to the large heavy box in his lap. Scarlett leaned over him and began to untie the ribbons. Rhett smiled warmly down at Scarlett as she did and Eleanor watched them curiously. Scarlett certainly seemed at ease and so did Rhett. Eleanor could see happiness in his eyes as he looked at Scarlett which interested Eleanor greatly as she'd thought Rhett had looked withdrawn and tired during their trip from the depot to the house.

"Oh, it's lovely," Scarlett whispered as she lifted the lid of the box in Rhett's lap. Scarlett stared down at a foot and a half tall wrought iron Byzantine cross with delicate treflee ends. The whole thing had been stained robin's egg blue except for a pink rose nestled in the crux.

"You've both suffered a terrible loss," Eleanor said softly, "and it is my hope that such a horror brings you strength instead of tearing you apart."

Scarlett nodded tightly and whispered, "Thank you," her throat was closing and she could not look up or she would cry.

Rhett soothed his hand up and down Scarlett's back as he said, "Thank you, Mother. This will look lovely out in the yard by the gazebo."

"I'm glad you think so," Eleanor answered, "Now, who is your chief of staff? I'd like to arrange for my private supper with the children tomorrow and then perhaps I will rest until the children return."

"Mammy, Mammy's the mammy-in-chief and runs the household," Scarlett answered. Eleanor had seen Mammy when she'd been her for Bonnie's funeral and knew Mammy was old.

"You are a good girl, Scarlett," Eleanor smiled and patted Scarlett's cheek, "I can see you are loyal. That's a wonderful quality. Now, if you'll excuse me, I will go freshen up from my travels." Then Eleanor turned and left the library leaving behind a stunned Scarlett and an irritated Rhett.

§

All three children had already rejoined Rhett and Scarlett in the library before supper before Eleanor came in.

"Children," Rhett said, "do you remember my mother, Mrs. Butler?"

"Yes, welcome, Mrs. Butler," Wade said has he kissed Eleanor's cheek.

"Oh, no," Eleanor smiled as they each came up to kiss her cheek, "I'm your grandmother. You must call me grandmother."

"But me too?" Beau asked confused has he kissed Eleanor's cheek after Wade.

Eleanor pulled Beau into her side and said, "Oh, dear, I know that Rhett and Scarlett are actually your aunt and uncle but you haven't any other grandparents do you?"

Beau shook his head no, his eyes flicking to Scarlett.

"No, I thought not, I think your aunt's mother is just as good as your own grandparent. You should also call me grandma, but you can call me grandma Eleanor if that makes you feel better."

"Yes ma'am," Beau said.

"Yes, grandma," Eleanor smiled gently as she corrected Beau.

"Yes, grandma" Beau repeated grinning.

"Hello, grandma!" Ella exclaimed when it was her turn to greet Eleanor. Rhett chuckled. Ella was often flighty, but she was as kind and gentle as her aunt Melly.

§§§ – Friday, June 5, 1874

"Mother, I you are being quite silly. We can still have an anniversary supper with you and the children. It's your second night here. You shouldn't eat in the kitchen."

"Why don't you want to dine alone with your wife, Rhett?" Eleanor shot back.

Eleanor and her son were sitting in the gazebo Friday morning while Scarlett was at the store and the children were at their last day of school before the summer holidays.

"There is no reason I don't want to have a meal alone with Scarlett, Mother," Rhett said clearly exasperated. "In fact, we had a meal alone together yesterday before I left to get you from the station."

"Ah, so you just don't want to celebrate your anniversary. Rhett, you married Scarlett after chasing her for years. Why don't you want to celebrate your union?"

"It has brought me nothing but misery," Rhett answered making his face a careful blank and looking away from his mother.

Eleanor scoffed, "It has not."

"Mother—"

"Don't be a fool, Rhett. You love your wife. I can see it in how you look at her when she isn't aware. And your union brought you Bonnie and while her loss is a tragedy, she brought you four years of joy. I wish you had learned to love from that little girl."

Eleanor rose and walked back to the house. Rhett didn't watch her go. The war within about the new baby raged fiercely. It was a chance, a gift, an opportunity to love completely and to be loved in return, but it was also a tremendous responsibility and a burden Rhett didn't think he could bear. What if something happened to the baby? To Scarlett? After her fall, should she even be having another baby?

§

The children were exuberant they did not have homework to do and upon returning to the Peachtree mansion they flitted around Scarlett, Rhett, and Eleanor in the library until Rhett sent them to the nursery to play before supper. Beau and Ella scampered out of the library and up the stairs without a word, but Wade paused at the door and turned back.

"Yes, Wade?" Rhett drawled.

"Nothing, sir," Wade chirped and then he turned and left.

Eleanor didn't miss the way Scarlett's eyes flitted nervously to Rhett as her son walked away. Was there some sort of problem with the child? Eleanor had found Wade to be perfectly pleasant and polite. Did he not get along with Rhett?

"You've a fine young man there, Scarlett," Eleanor smiled at her.

Scarlett's eyes again flicked to Rhett before she answered, "Thank you, Mother, he is a good boy. I'm very proud of him."

"I look forward to getting to know the children better at supper," Eleanor smiled pleasantly.

Rhett's face remained a careful blank.

§

Scarlett was quiet during their supper. She gorged herself on several of her favorite foods, but she and Rhett spoke little as they ate.

When Pork poured them coffee and set plates of Mrs. Merriwether's peach pie in front of them and then left, Scarlett rose and went to the sideboard.

"Happy anniversary, Rhett," Scarlett smiled down at him as she handed him a small box tied with ribbon.

Rhett gazed up at her. Her eyes were covered with a glassy film and she looked both soft and full and pinched at the same time. Rhett scooted his chair back from the table and pulled Scarlett onto his lap.

"Rhett!" she cried, "We are in the dining room! What if someone comes in?"

Rhett laughed and kissed her temple. Keeping one arm slung around Scarlett he untied the ribbons and lifted the lid from the box. Inside, nestled on white silk, were a set of sapphire cufflinks and a stickpin. Rhett ran his thumb over the sapphire on the pin and then lifted a cufflink. Instead of his usual RKB monogram the smooth blue surface was monogrammed with a single B. Bonnie. Scarlett's gift was brilliant. People would think nothing of a Butler wearing B cufflinks instead of a full monogram, but Rhett knew what Scarlett meant.

Heat and a small secret happiness stole through Rhett and he pulled Scarlett to him. He kissed her hungrily and she shuddered against him as his tongue plundered her mouth.

Rhett pulled one of Scarlett's arms from around his neck and put the box in her hand. "Hold this," he whispered as he licked the whorl of her ear. Then Rhett stood and began to carry Scarlett from the dining room.

"But I want pie!" Scarlett blurted out. Rhett laughed so hard he thought he might drop her as they left the dining room and he began to carry her upstairs. "You shall have it later. Besides," he smiled, "your gift is upstairs."

Scarlett grinned devilishly at him and shrugged then she sucked his earlobe into her mouth. Rhett was so hard it hurt to walk.

Rhett's fingers were slow and gentle as he undid the buttons down Scarlett's back and unlaced her. He kissed his way down her spine and Scarlett shuddered. Rhett lifted her from the pool of dress and petticoat and kicked them away kissing her in that way that drove Scarlett mad.

Tickling heat pooled low in Scarlett's belly and she felt her fingers trembling as she began undressing Rhett. Rhett lifted her chemise off of her and pushed her pantalets down her legs but then seemed content to trace his fingers up and down every inch of Scarlett's exposed skin as he watched her undress him. By the time she was shoving Rhett's pants and drawers down Rhett's legs and watching his erection spring free Scarlett was trembling with desire.

Rhett pulled Scarlett down with him onto the bed. His kisses were driving her mad and making her head swim and his fingers trailed heat everywhere they touched.

"Rhett," Scarlett moaned twisting to try to shove her breast into his hand as he tailed his fingers down her side. She felt like her body was on fire with how much she wanted him to touch her and to put his mouth on her but his fingers avoided all of the places she wanted them most.

Rhett kissed down the side of Scarlett's neck and smirked smugly when he felt her pulse throbbing frantically beneath his lips. He continued down Scarlett's body and when he reached the valley between her breasts he licked the sweat from her body, but bypassed her breasts. When he again began to kiss lower without touching either breast, Scarlett squirmed beneath him and moaned, "Rhett, please."

Rhett paused and looked up at her. Scarlett's eyes were huge and blazing brightly. "Please what, honey?" Rhett asked.

Scarlett begged him with her eyes, but said only, "Rhett."

Rhett chuckled to himself. He leaned up and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and Scarlett gasped and threaded her fingers into his hair. As she held him at her breast Rhett wondered if she would ever feel comfortable enough during relations to ask him for what she wanted. He hoped so.

Rhett had to struggle against her fists to move to her other nipple. He alternated between the two until she was squirming and panting beneath him. His scalp ached and he wondered if he'd see bald spots where she'd torn out chunks of his hair in the morning. Rhett reached up and took her hands in his, removing them from his hair and pushed their joined hands down into the mattress on each side of her as he continued to kiss his way down her body.

When he reached her navel, Rhett lifted his head and passed over the small bump that covered their growing child. He couldn't, he could not love that baby yet. Scarlett noticed and her head lifted, her eyes following him with a crinkle between them. Rhett lifted her leg and then sucked the skin of her inner thigh into his mouth. Scarlett gasped and trembled.

The scent of her was intoxicating as Rhett turned his eyes to her swollen, pink, glistening folds.

"Oh!" Scarlett cried out as he licked her and then sucked her bundle of nerves into his mouth.

Rhett licked and sucked and teased her with his tongue until she was writhing and her hips were unconsciously jerking. Then he raised himself over Scarlett and sheathed himself within her in one long stroke.

"Ahhh," Scarlett smiled and reached up for him. Rhett allowed her to pull him down to her and she kissed him hungrily as he thrust into her. Her eyes burned brightly with love and desire as Rhett thrust home.

Moments later Rhett rolled onto his back, spent. His fingers still tingled as he closed his eyes and swiped one hand down his face. Scarlett rolled into him and nestled into his side. Rhett listened as her soft breath on his neck became slow and regular. He felt stimulated instead of sated.

As Scarlett slept on his chest Rhett thought about the first time he had taken her six years ago. Scarlett had melted under his kisses the way he'd always known she would. As Rhett undressed her and himself Scarlett seemed skittish, but Rhett thought that must just be nerves. She had been willing and pliant again as he kissed her and began to touch her, but when he settled between her legs he felt Scarlett tense underneath him.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Rhett whispered caressing Scarlett's cheek.

"I know," Scarlett whispered black as the flush of embarrassment spread across her cheeks and chest. Scarlett moved her hand on top of his and interspaced their fingers squeezing them lightly. Rhett squeezed his fingers back as she slid slowly and gently into her for the first time.

She felt like heaven to Rhett, as if her body had been made for him. As Rhett began to move over her he saw her watching him warily.

Taking his wife for the first time had been a bemusing mix of the exhilaration of knowing she was his, and the disappointment of learning she did not like relations and she didn't trust that he wouldn't hurt her. Rhett tried to tell himself to focus on that tiny finger squeeze and the way she'd turned her face into his hand for comfort, but as he drifted to sleep the first night he was allowed to hold Scarlett in his arms Rhett felt the crushing weight of unmet expectations. Bedding Scarlett had been nothing like he'd imagined and hoped it would be.

§§§

The week passed comfortably. During the evenings Scarlett and Eleanor poured over home furnishing catalogs and discussed the parlor, dining room, and conservatory and how they thought the house should look. Rhett sometimes offered his opinion and sometimes just sat and listened to them chatter as he pretended to read the paper.

Rhett took the children to the park twice while Scarlett was at the store. Eleanor stayed home both times and Rhett loved his mother dearly, but he was glad for the time away from her watchful eyes.

§§§ – Friday, June 12, 1874

Friday, June 12, 1874 dawned warm and clear. Scarlett hadn't been able to sleep for what felt like hours and she stood watching the sun turn the sky from indigo to a bright watered ink blue from her window. She'd stood at this same window when Bonnie yelled, "Mother, watch me take this one!" The memories of her little girl's shouts mixed with her father's voice shouting, "Ellen, watch me take this one!" in the early morning quiet just as it had at the moment Bonnie charged at a jump that was too high. "Mother! Watch me! Daddy says I can!" floated in her ears. "Mother, watch me take this one!" the last words her baby would ever say, had ever said.

The sky lightened and was shot through with bands of gold and pink and Scarlett continued to stand, clutching the curtain and staring at the still visible track between the arbor and where Mr. Butler's jump had been. Grass had grown back over most of the track, but it was lower and thinner than in the rest of the yard and shot through with dirt patches. And now it ended at nothing. The sudden end of the track might look odd or even mysterious to an outsider, but whenever Scarlett's eyes landed on that patch she saw her baby flying through the air to land in a heap. Scarlett spent a year trying not to look at that spot and now she could not take her eyes away from it.

"Scarlett?" Rhett called worriedly from the bed when he woke and realized Scarlett was not with him.

"Over here," Scarlett answered.

Rhett got up and stretched and then walked over to Scarlett, not bothering to hide his nakedness. Scarlett's cheeks pinkened as Rhett wrapped his arms around her from behind and he kissed her temple. Scarlett wrapped her arms on top of Rhett's and let her head relax back onto his shoulder and sighed.

They stood in silence for a time, each recalling the day one year before when Bonnie had fallen.

"I don't think I can face it," Scarlett whispered shakily, turning in Rhett's arms and burying her face in his neck.

Rhett smoothed his hands up and down Scarlett's back but said nothing. As he'd pulled Scarlett into his arms and seen what she'd been staring at Bonnie's cries and pleas and screaming to raise the bar filtered into his mind. Rhett could hear himself saying "Oh, all right," and laughing. He'd thought Bonnie's pleas were funny at the time and he'd only wanted to head off a tantrum. As Rhett stared at the sudden end of the track at the nothing that now stood where the jump had been it was as if he could see himself moving the bar. He could feel himself moving it up, see the way the sunlight glinted on the grass, hear the little thuds as Bonnie jumped up and down next to him, exuberant in her filthy blue riding habit, and her giggles. Rhett wanted to roar through time and stop himself. He heard himself telling Bonnie, "If you fall off, don't cry and blame me." Those were the last words he ever said to Bonnie. What had Scarlett told her? Oh, "You're mighty pretty, precious." How did it happen that Scarlett had said something kind but the last words he'd said to his baby had been in jest?

"Rhett, Rhett! You're hurting me."

Scarlett's voice broke into Rhett's terrible memories and he realized he was crushing her tightly, too tightly, to his chest and she was squirming against him.

"I'm sorry," Rhett said as he released his arms. Expecting Scarlett to step away from him, the monster who had let his baby die because he didn't want to hear another tantrum, Rhett brought his hands to cover his face and realized he was crying.

Scarlett did not step away though. Scarlett took Rhett's elbow and lead him to the sofa where she sat next to him and then pulled his head down to her shoulder. Rhett wrapped his arms around his wife and could not stop the tears. They sat like that for a few moments but it made Rhett's back ache so he sat upright and pulled Scarlett onto his lap. Tears were streaking down Scarlett's face and Rhett wiped them away with his thumbs until Scarlett wrapped her arms around his neck and put her face in his neck and they both wept.

Soon, Scarlett shifted so she was straddling Rhett and continued to cry into his neck, her dressing gown billowing over them both. After an indeterminable time the room was full of sunlight streaming through the curtains Scarlett had opened and Rhett was no longer crying. His eyes burned and his nose and throat were congested. Rhett ran his hand up and down Scarlett's back saying softly, "Scarlett?"

She didn't answer, she was asleep. Rhett closed his eyes and thought, I'm so sorry, Scarlett. I'm so sorry I spoiled her and moved the bar and let her die. Then Rhett lifted Scarlett and carried her back to the bed and laid down, cradling Scarlett to him.

"Rhett?" she asked sleepily, her voice thick with tears.

"Shhh, honey, sleep. I'm right here."

Scarlett shifted and slung one leg over Rhett. He kept running his hand up and down her back. He knew if he was still she would fall back asleep and soon she did.

Rhett slept too and was awakened when he felt Scarlett sit up.

"Scarlett?" Rhett blinked, the room was so bright he had no idea how he'd been able to sleep at all. He sat up and checked his pocket watch and saw it was already 10:37.

Scarlett's stomach rumbled and Rhett drew her into his chest and kissed her temple before whispering, "Let's get you dressed and fed, my dear."

Scarlett nodded and rose from the bed. Rhett watched her walk to the water closet. She looked smaller somehow, soft, young and lost, but Rhett could hear her screaming, "Give me my baby! You killed her!" and like a knife to his gut Scarlett's voice screamed, "Murderer!" in his memory and Rhett grabbed his dressing gown and slipping it on, turned and left the room. He could not face her, not now. Not with her cruel words ringing in his ears.

Rhett returned to his room, grateful there were clothes within it still. He washed and dressed avoiding looking at himself in the glass. He didn't want to see the man who let his baby die and whose wife called him a murderer.

"Rhett?" Scarlett called softly when she emerged from the water closet. He was gone. Scarlett frowned as her eyes filled with tears. She hoped he was just dressed and downstairs breakfasting already. Please, please don't let him have left, Scarlett thought as she pulled the bell pull and waited for Lou.

§

Eleanor was angry when she saw Rhett come downstairs alone and she followed him into the dining room. "Where's Scarlett?" she demanded.

Rhett glared coldly at his mother, "Don't do this today. She's dressing."

Rhett sat at the table and Pork brought him a plate of eggs, sausages, biscuits, and grits.

"Where are the children?" Rhett asked.

"They went to Scarlett's Aunt's with someone called India Wilkes."

Rhett nodded.

Eleanor sat and sipped her coffee and watched her son eat. He seemed to be not sad and forlorn as Eleanor had expected, but prickly and defensive. Eleanor sat and wondered why that was until Scarlett's voice broke into her ruminations.

"Rhett! You're here," Scarlett cried and her features flooded with relief as she entered the dining room in full mourning.

Rhett frowned, "Where else would I be?"

"Oh," Scarlett's eyes shot to Eleanor, a glance Eleanor did not miss, before continuing, "nowhere."

Scarlett sat and stared at the plate Pork placed before her.

When she hadn't even picked up her fork after a few minutes, Rhett said, "Scarlett, eat."

Scarlett nodded and picked up her fork. She pushed the food on her plate around for a few moments without ever lifting her fork to her mouth.

"Mother," Rhett said smoothly, "won't you excuse us. I'd like to breakfast with Scarlett before we go to the cemetery."

Eleanor nodded and stood to go assuming Rhett was going to force or coerce Scarlett into eating and preferred not to have an audience.

Eleanor stepped into the hall and then leaned against the wall to listen. Part of her felt guilty for eavesdropping on her son and his wife, particularly on such a horrible day, but most of her was insatiably curious, and part of her she didn't want to acknowledge wanted to make sure her son had not turned into his father.

"Scarlett," Rhett's voice was firm, but not cold, "we are not leaving this table until you eat at least half of that food."

There was a silence. Eleanor heard what she assumed was Scarlett's fork scraping her plate. Eleanor listened to the sounds of cutlery scraping plates and cups returning to saucers for a few moments and was turning to leave when she heard Scarlett say, "Isn't this enough?"

"No. Half."

"But, Rhett, I'm not very hungry."

Eleanor heard her son say, "You need to take care of yourself, Scarlett," very pointedly and she smiled before turning to go to the library.

§

Rhett stood looking down at Bonnie's headstone with Scarlett on his arm. The day was offensively beautiful, the sun was brilliant, the sky a dazzling robin's egg blue, a soft breeze cooled their faces and set leaves tinkling against each other gaily. But Rhett couldn't take in any of it, his mind was miles away back in those dark days when Bonnie had fallen. The sounds of his and Scarlett's screams of agony and rage at each other made his blood run cold.

_"__You murdered my baby letting her jump that high!" _

_"__Why are you screaming! You never cared for Bonnie. You never cared a whit about any of your children!" _

_"__I never murdered any of them!" _

_"__Get out!" _

_"__You killed her!" _

_"__If you don't GET OUT I will KILL YOU!" Rhett bellowed stepping towards Scarlett who turned and fled sobbing. _

…

_"__Rhett! She belongs in a coffin in the parlor!" _

_Rhett turned, ice ran through his veins as he backed Scarlett into the wall and growled, "She belongs in my room." Rhett hadn't realized he'd cocked his fist until he saw Scarlett's wide eyes flitting to it. _

_"__Mammy," Rhett turned to her, "You see to it Miss Bonnie stays right here until I get back." Then he turned and left the house slamming the front door behind him. _

…

_"__The funeral is tomorrow morning," Scarlett said at his back as she followed him into his room._

_"__If you do that I will kill you tomorrow!" _

…

_"__Bonnie is afraid of the dark and the grave is powerfully dark, Scarlett." _

_"__You're a fine one to take on so, after killing her to please your pride." _

_"__Haven't you any mercy?"_

_"__No! And I haven't my child either!" _

The more Rhett remembered Scarlett calling him a murderer the angrier he became.

The same conversations were filtering through Scarlett's memory as she watched Rhett's face harden and become more and more angry the longer they stood there. Whenever her mind called up the memories of Rhett screaming he would kill her or that she had never cared for her children Scarlett told herself not to think about that now. She'd think about it tomorrow when she could stand it better. Or after Rhett left the next time. Or never again.

§§§ - Saturday, June 13, 1874

When Lou entered in response to Scarlett's summons Saturday morning, Scarlett was standing in her wardrobe staring at her dresses dressed in her nightgown with her hair hanging loose down her back.

Scarlett's mourning dresses were in the front of her closet, followed by her light mourning appropriate dresses and then regular day dresses, evening dresses, and ballgowns in the very back. Mourning for Bonnie was over. Scarlett stood near the divide between the few light mourning dresses she had and her day dresses. Somehow Scarlett couldn't imagine putting on the sapphire blue muslin or the crimson bombazine dresses she loved. They felt too bright, too cheerful, too like the life she had before she'd put a baby in the ground. Scarlett looked at the light mourning, she only had three light mourning dresses and it felt inadequate, especially compared to the almost dozen mourning gowns she owned. Scarlett sighed and ran her fingers down the long sleeve of one of her black crepe full mourning gowns wishing full mourning allowed for short sleeves. If it wasn't so unbearably hot, Scarlett thought, mourning wouldn't be so bad. It would match how she felt.

After a few moments, Lou turned from where she'd been watching Scarlett to fetch Mammy but in the hall she ran into Eleanor.

"What are you in such a hurry for, Lou?" Eleanor asked smiling.

"Miss Scarlett upset, I fetchn' Mammy."

Eleanor nodded, "I'll see to it," she said firmly and turned and went into the master bedroom.

Eleanor paused at the dressing room door watching Scarlett. She looked lost and heartbroken. Eleanor could see right away what the problem was, mourning was over and Scarlett was not done grieving so taking off mourning was suddenly undesirable. Eleanor knew several widows who wore mourning for the rest of their lives.

"You know, darling, that mourning is a minimum. If you are still mourning the loss you can stay in mourning until you are ready."

Scarlett nodded at the sound of her mother-in-law's voice, but she didn't startle.

"I recommend light mourning," Eleanor said as she stepped up to Scarlett and put her arm around her.

Scarlett turned her face into Eleanor's neck and began to weep.

"Oh, honey," Eleanor cooed, "let it out, darling. Come, let's sit."

Eleanor led Scarlett to the sofa and seated them both keeping her arms wrapped tightly around Scarlett.

"Rhett doesn't like me in mourning, but I… I can't…I just can't put on a colorful dress when I feel so awful inside."

"No, darling you certainly don't have to. But wearing color again doesn't mean that you don't love Bonnie or that you aren't still grieving her loss. It only means you are ready to rejoin society again, and if you aren't you shouldn't."

Scarlett did not get dressed Saturday, but stayed stubbornly in her dressing gown. Rhett wanted to point out that the forest green trimmed with rabbit fur was certainly not mourning, but thought better of it when he saw Scarlett's red rimmed eyes. When Ashley came to visit with Beau for a few hours in the afternoon, Scarlett hid in her room instead of dressing and greeting him.

Sunday morning Scarlett came to the breakfast table in her dressing gown again and Rhett contemplated allowing her to remain in it again all day and see what she did when it was time to get dressed to go to the store tomorrow but something in him knew he would have to intervene and now was just as good as tomorrow.

After breakfast Rhett sent the children up to change into play clothes to go to the park and then took Scarlett by the arm and escorted her upstairs.

When they entered the bedroom, Rhett deposited Scarlett on the sofa and walked into the dressing room.

"Rhett?" Scarlett asked his back, but Rhett said nothing. He returned holding her dove grey light mourning dress and tossed it over the sofa back next to her. Scarlett said nothing as he returned to the dressing room and came back with an armful of chemise, pantalets, petticoats, and stockings, dumping them all unceremoniously on the sofa next to her.

"Rhett? What are you doing?"

"I should think it would be obvious, my dear. Stand up."

Scarlett did and Rhett pulled her to him and kissed her. Then he untied her dressing gown, remove it, and tossed it away. He ran his hands down Scarlett's back and arms but his touch was soothing rather than inflaming and Scarlett melted into his strong, warm chest.

Then he lifted her nightgown, forcing her to release him so he could pull it over her head.

Rhett slowly and gently dressed Scarlett. When he'd done up the last of the buttons down her back, he kissed the side of her neck and stepped away from her.

Scarlett sat down on the sofa heavily. She felt the stirrings of desire for Rhett but she also felt like weeping.

Rhett returned and sat next to her with the box holding the beautiful jewelry he'd given her for their anniversary just a few days ago.

"I didn't tell you why I selected these pieces, Scarlett," Rhett said as he lifted the necklace and fastened it around Scarlett's throat.

"No, you didn't. Why did you?" Scarlett asked, reaching up to grab his wrist as he fastened the clasp.

"The aquamarine is our birthstone." Scarlett nodded as Rhett handed her the earrings.

"And the diamond, Bonnie's," Rhett continued as he watched Scarlett fasten the earrings.

"I know you loved her, Scarlett. And she loved you. If you'd like to stay in light mourning, I understand. You don't need to and I wish you wouldn't. I know, and everyone knows, you grieve her loss. You can wear this jewelry, or anything with diamonds, to remember her by instead of mourning."

"I know I'm being silly and I hate mourning, but I don't feel ready to take off mourning for Bonnie. but I just can't imagine wearing bright colors."

"Again, if that is what you wish, that is acceptable for now."

"Thank you," Scarlett smiled, "I'd like to have some more light mourning dresses made. I've only got three and I'm tired of rotating them."

"I'll make an appointment for us this week," Rhett kissed her softly and then rose and pulled Scarlett up. Kissing her cheeks, Rhett said, "Now, let's take the children to the park."

"And, Scarlett," Rhett said as they walked to the door, I never want to see you in full mourning again."

"Wouldn't that be nice," Scarlett smiled.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of the reviews and PMs! I love hearing what you think! Special thanks to: EmmaElizaRose, Truckee Gal, MissTricey, gabyhyatt, Livisia, pmk kelly, Nuala Lady of the Lake, COCO B, Jennybenny2845, Sprout76, tamtay, Conlyn70, and guest._

_Rhett's memories are mostly dialogue created from what Mammy tells Melly, but a few lines are directly quoted. _


	16. Push, Monday, June 22, 1874

_Disclaimer: Would that they were mine...they would have talked through this long before now...(and Rhett would be less a coward)._

* * *

§§§ – Monday, June 22, 1874

Saturday's barbeque had been a smashing success and the Hamilton-Wilkes-Butler extended family talked of little else at Sunday supper the following day. By Monday evening as she, Rhett and Scarlett sat in the library after the children had been tucked into bed, Eleanor noticed that Scarlett seemed quiet and withdrawn.

Hoping to draw her daughter in law into conversation Eleanor turned to Scarlett and asked, "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl, darling?"

"Both, either, I'm so torn," Scarlett answered resting her hand on her belly. "I think I might love another little girl, and Ella's the youngest so that's who the baby will be closest in age to, but I also think about how I might love a little boy with Rhett's dark eyes," Scarlett beamed up at Rhett who stared impassively back at her.

Scarlett's smile faded some as she turned back to her mother-in-law.

"What about you, Rhett?" Eleanor asked, "are you hoping for a son or a daughter?"

"I have no particular preference, Mother," Rhett answered, his face a complete blank. Eleanor watched Scarlett's smile falter. So, it was as she suspected. Rhett was shutting out his wife and blaming her for her lack of understanding.

Scarlett deftly changed the subject to Saturday's barbeque and the conversation was somewhat stilted until Scarlett announced she was tired and must retire a short time later. Eleanor frowned. She'd been watching Scarlett carefully since her swift topic change and did not like the look of wariness and defeat in Scarlett's eyes.

Scarlett rose and kissed Eleanor's cheek whispering, "goodnight." Eleanor squeezed Scarlett's arm and Scarlett smiled and turned to Rhett. Rhett had extended his elbow to escort Scarlett upstairs, but he paused when his mother cleared her throat.

"Rhett, may I speak with you a moment?" Eleanor asked softly, but with a tone Rhett clearly understood was a command.

"Of course, Mother. Scarlett, call for Mammy or Lou, I'll be right up, goodnight."

"Of course, goodnight," Scarlett whispered then she kissed Rhett's cheek and left the library. Scarlett trudged up the stairs slowly feeling as if she had been called to speak with Mrs. Farnsworth at the Fayetteville Female Academy because she and Cathleen had been caught giggling during lessons again.

Once Scarlett had left the room Eleanor asked, "is there somewhere we won't be overheard?"

Rhett extended his elbow to his mother and said, "this way."

When they were in his and Scarlett's shared office space Rhett closed the door behind them and led his mother to the sofa.

"What is it, mother?" Rhett asked once they were seated side by side.

Eleanor cupped her hands over her son's and looked into his eyes. "Do you intend to leave your wife?"

Rhett froze and wiped his face of all expression.

"Mother," Rhett started slowly, "what sort of a question is that?"

"One that should be quite easy to answer if the answer is no."

Rhett said nothing. He no longer thought of divorcing Scarlett, but the thought of living here with her all the time, of being obligated to consider her wants when she'd never considered his made him uneasy. And now, now with a baby…the urge to run before Scarlett eviscerated his heart was even stronger.

"As you are thinking of how to answer I'd like you to consider this. The way you show your wife your card table face is destroying your marriage."

"Mother, our marriage was destroyed long ago."

"Well, then, let me amend, the way you show your wife your card table face destroyed your marriage long ago and continues to wound your wife."

"Mother—"

"Have you never noticed how her face falls once you hide yourself from her?" Eleanor cut in, "Or how she becomes quiet? The way you shut her out is your own version of beating your wife. And it's working."

They sat in silence for a moment before Eleanor rose and kissed Rhett's temple, "I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted."

"I'll walk you up," Rhett offered and rose extending his arm.

Rhett and his mother walked in silence to her door.

"Goodnight, mother," Rhett whispered and kissed her cheek. Eleanor stood in the doorway and watched Rhett stride briskly to the master bedroom door and throw it open before turning into her room and closing the door.

§§§

When Rhett entered, Scarlett was seated in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace dressed in a creamy silk nightgown and midnight blue wrapper with her hair in a long braid down her back. She was hugging her drawn up knees to her chest and staring off into space. Rhett could see why his mother thought Scarlett looked sad. She looked sad.

"My mother thinks I'm abusing you," Rhett blurted out as stopped in front of Scarlett's chair and removed his frock coat tossing it over the chair opposite her. He cursed himself for his stupidity as Scarlett turned wide eyes on him and dropped her feet to the floor.

"Oh, no, Rhett. Why? Would you like me to go speak with her?"

Rhett laughed and Scarlett drew back. Suddenly Rhett could see what his mother did. Scarlett was wary of him, she didn't trust Rhett's reactions.

"No, honey," Rhett said as he stooped to draw her up into his arms, "besides if I was beating you, don't you think I'd send you in there to tell her I wasn't?"

Scarlett smiled nervously at his words as Rhett lifted her and seated himself in the chair with Scarlett across his lap. Scarlett leaned her side against him, but didn't put her arm around him as she usually did. Rhett noticed.

"What does your mother think then?" Scarlett asked. Rhett wasn't sure if the edge to her voice was fear or something else.

"She thinks I abuse you with my face."

"With your face?" Scarlett asked, "How?"

Rhett sighed and ran his fingers down Scarlett's arm. She wasn't tense and alert, but she wasn't completely relaxed against him either. For the first time since he'd heard the news, Rhett placed his other hand on her belly. The mound that hid his child was still small enough that Scarlett could hide it under a loosely laced corset, but it was so evident when she was undressed it made Rhett nervous. He didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know if he wanted to return to Atlanta and be with Scarlett and try to love their baby. Part of him wanted to get on the next train to Chicago and return to Carrie Watson's whores. Or Cherry. He could go to Cherry in Washington. Perhaps he could even take her as his mistress. Scarlett shifted against him and put her hand over his on her belly. Suddenly Rhett needed to know if Scarlett even noticed he hid his emotions from her.

"She thinks when I make my face blank to hide my feelings from you it's abusive."

"Oh," Scarlett said and tensed in his arms.

Oh, Rhett thought, she had noticed.

"What do you think?" He asked casually.

Scarlett clambered off his lap and walked towards the bed.

"Scarlett! Come here."

"No, Rhett, I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

Rhett rose and followed her dropping his cravat and waistcoat on the floor on the way. He stepped up behind her as she was pulling the sheet down and grabbed her arm. Not enough to hurt her or leave a mark, just enough to stop her from moving.

"Scarlett, answer me."

"No."

Rhett laughed but unease filtered through his veins. "Why not?"

Scarlett didn't answer, but she didn't try to pull away either.

"Scarlett, look at me," Rhett turned her to face him. "Tell me what's wrong."

"No. Rhett, please stop."

"Come now, don't be silly. What are you afraid of?"

"You'll leave! You'll leave and I'm worried I'll never see you again. I'm having your baby, Rhett, and what will people say if you never come back? How will people treat the baby? I…I…I don't want to talk about this with you."

"I won't leave, Scarlett."

"Ever? You're staying?" Rhett could hear the hope she tried to hide in her voice.

"No," Rhett started to chuckle. "But I won't leave tonight."

"When will you leave?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to leave?"

"No, Rhett. I want you to stay. I want you to come home and to be here," Scarlett looked at the floor, "and that's why I can't talk about this with you."

"Why do you think that if we discuss it I will leave?"

"Because you always do," the finality and defeat in her voice was like a knife to his gut.

"I don't always leave, Scarlett," Rhett defended in as soft a tone as he could manage.

Scarlett shook her head and pursed her lips together.

Rhett put his fingers under her chin and lifted, her face turned up to his without resistance. Rhett kissed her forehead and pulled her into his arms. Her arms came around him when he started running his hand up and down her back.

"You left, you left after … after that night, the night of Ashley's party and I was so worried when you didn't come home for days I almost went to the police. Then when you came home you just took Bonnie and left. You left me on the road to Tara during the siege. And I don't even remember what we were arguing about when you got so angry you took Wade and went to New Orleans. When … when things… I don't know Rhett, when things bother you, when you are upset about something, you just leave."

"And you are worried this will be one of those times?"

"Yes."

"Scarlett, I promise no matter what you say, I will not leave tonight."

"For how long will you promise me?" Scarlett clenched her fists into Rhett's shirt.

"I promise I won't leave for at least a week after you tell me."

"A week? That's the best you can do?" Rhett smiled into her hair, good, she was calming down.

"The very best." Rhett kissed her slowly and deeply.

"Well then, I guess I'll take it," Scarlett whispered when she finally turned her face away, panting.

Rhett kissed the side of her head and then toed off his shoes and turned and got into the bed and pulled her down with him. They settled with Scarlett's head on Rhett's chest. Rhett didn't trust himself not to shut her out so he thought it might be easiest if they couldn't see each other's faces.

"All along I didn't understand why I never could tell what you thought," Scarlett started softly. "I felt frustrated and unsure and… well you often seemed to know me so well, but …I didn't actually realize you were purposefully hiding your feelings until Mammy told me."

"Mammy told you that!" Rhett asked shocked.

"Yes. I was very upset after you left and when we got to Tara…I was upset and Mammy comforted me and I asked her to tell me the things she would have told me if she had been my mother instead of my mammy. Mammy told me that you hid your feelings from me because you didn't trust me and that was how you'd kept me away all these years. At first I didn't believe her, but then I saw you do it to me when you came back for Christmas. There were times it was like being with the old you, when we were friends and I so looked forward to your visits. But then something would happen, I didn't always know what and your face turned to stone. And …"

Rhett waited stroking Scarlett's back.

"And what?" he asked when it was clear she was not going to continue.

"And I hate you for it."

"Scarlett!"

Scarlett sat up and looked down at him, "You shut me out for years. Years! Then you punished me for not being able to figure out your secrets. Well, damn you to hell, Rhett Butler! You are a cad. You are vile. I know I made mistakes, but you aren't punishing me for my mistakes, you are punishing me for yours! You were never once honest with me. You think I'm a fool because I never realized I loved you instead of Ashley? Well why wouldn't I think that? He was the only one who was still kind to me, who knew me and still cared, even if it wasn't love. You were cold and cruel and sometimes when I look at you I want to claw your eyes out. Damn you!"

Scarlett got up and moved to one of the arm chairs by the fire. Rhett watched her retreat stunned. She was angry? But she seemed to want him. Rhett knew she wanted him to stay. Rhett got up and followed her across the room.

"I think you are being unreasonable," Rhett said as he sat in the chair next to hers.

Scarlett shrugged and turned her face away, "I don't," she whispered.

"No? Why is that?"

"I think it is perfectly reasonable to be angry that you hid yourself from me and then hated me for not being able to see past your lies. Then you left me. I finally realized how much I love you and you told me you didn't care because you don't love me anymore. And you left. I think anybody would be angry you did that."

"That was months ago and as you know I promised to return enough to keep the gossip down and I have, I'm here now. I was here for Christmas, Wade's birthday, my birthday and yours. At your request I might add."

"But you can't promise me you'll always be here. What if you aren't here when this baby is born? Your own baby Rhett. And you know what everyone will say if you aren't here. They'll say exactly what you did that day on the stairs. They'll whisper my baby is a bastard because you abandoned it. Everyone knows how you love babies and they'll know you think it isn't yours if you aren't here."

"I know the baby is mine, Scarlett, don't be such a child."

"You know it's yours but you are still willing to abandon it to the gossips of Atlanta." Tears rolled down Scarlett's cheeks and she didn't wipe them away.

"I'd never abandon our child, Scarlett. I told you—"

"Humph," Scarlett turned her face away, "I'll believe that if I see it. You've abandoned Wade, Ella, and me enough."

Rhett clenched his jaw. He wanted to retort, but he also knew he had left them.

"Rhett, you are not taking this baby," Scarlett turned to him with a hint of panic in her voice.

"What?"

"When you abandoned me and the children you took Bonnie. You are not taking this baby. I won't let you."

Rhett's blood boiled.

"I'll do whatever I damned well please and I'll thank you to shut your stupid mouth," Rhett growled as he leaped from his seat and towered over Scarlett.

"That's right, Rhett. You will do just what you please and we both know it. You don't care what pleases me or Wade or Ella," Scarlett fired back.

Rhett stared at Scarlett for a moment. Her hands were folded over her belly, protecting his baby from him. Her face was flushed and her eyes so dark Rhett would have thought they were as black as his own if he didn't know their many shades of green so well.

"I'll leave in the morning," Rhett turned towards the bed.

"You promised you'd stay a week. I see what your promises are worth."

"Damn it, Scarlett! Don't do this."

"Rhett, you also promised me marriage would be fun. Do you remember? When you proposed. It hasn't been. I…you are the only husband I've loved and yet, you are the one who … it's been the least fun to be married to."

"Oh, marriage to old Frank Kennedy was better than me?"

"He never hurt me. He never once said something just to cut me," Scarlett seethed.

Rhett said nothing.

After a pause, Scarlett continued more softly, "I was the poor spouse in that marriage. I didn't love him and I didn't make him happy. And I'm very sorry that I didn't because now I see how very good to me Frank was."

"You're a poor spouse in this marriage, too," Rhett's voice was cutting. Scarlett blanched and leaned away from him.

"Get out!" Scarlett screeched.

"I thought you wanted me to stay a week."

Scarlett didn't reply.

"Do you remember our agreement? If you kick me out of your bed and demand I stay a week, you know what I'll do."

"You're just low enough to do it too," Scarlett spat.

"Stop acting like a child, you are being ridiculous."

"And you are being the cad and coward you always are!"

"Shut your stupid mouth," Rhett screamed as he took a step towards her, but Scarlett rose from her chair and flew at him beating on his chest with her fists.

"God damn you, you coward! What are you so afraid of! We are already miserable! I hate you! God damn you! Why! Why, Rhett!? Damn you!" and then she dissolved into sobs on his chest.

Rhett's arms went around Scarlett automatically, his fingers gripping her ribs hard enough to bruise.

§

When Rhett and Scarlett's shouting drew Eleanor into the hall Wade was already standing outside their bedroom door ashen-faced. Eleanor walked over to him and put her arm around him.

"They hate each other," Wade whispered.

Eleanor could hear the fear in his voice, "No, Wade," she answered, "they love each other very much."

"No, they…" Wade didn't know what to say to his step-grandmother.

"They do, son. They just…have both by hurt by life and they are protecting themselves."

"But, why?"

Eleanor sighed, "They are both very smart and brave in some ways but silly fools and cowards in others."

"My mother is not a coward," Wade said defiantly.

Eleanor appraised the boy and observed the set of Scarlett's chin in the face of the son who looked so little like her. "No, you are right, darling. Your mother is not a coward. I fear my son is the one acting a coward."

"Uncle Rhett is very brave, too," Wade defended surprised at the need to defend the man he both loved and loathed.

"He's brave with his body and with his mind, dear, but he's not brave with his heart. At least not where your mother is concerned."

They stood in silence for a moment and Eleanor wanted to remove Wade from the hallway in case her son came storming out.

"Why don't we go to the kitchen and see if there is any cocoa. I fancy a cup of hot chocolate," Eleanor suggested softly.

Eleanor turned and drew the boy with her towards the stairs contemplating how Rhett was setting just as poor an example for Wade as John had for Rhett.

"Mrs. Butler," Wade began as they descended the stairs.

"Oh, no, my dear, I'm your grandmother, don't call me Mrs. Butler. Please call me grandmother, or grandma."

Wade nodded. Mrs. Butler had told him this before when she first arrived, but as she led him away from the sounds of his parents screaming at each other Wade felt she really was his grandmother. Just as he felt, although somewhat less lately, that even though he called Uncle Rhett Uncle Rhett, Uncle Rhett was his father.

"Grandma? How long will you stay?"

"As long as I'm needed, my grandson."

§

Rhett was lost in his own thoughts as Scarlett sobbed against his chest.

"I am not the only one at fault," Rhett said as evenly as he could manage.

"No," Scarlett agreed, "No, you are not. I was stupid and a fool, but I never, not once tried to hurt you."

"You shut me out of our bed."

"You let me! And as soon as I said it I regretted it, but I didn't know how to take it back. And I didn't think you cared. I was afraid to humble myself in the face of your cruelty. And I didn't do it to hurt you."

"It did hurt me," Rhett growled, surprising himself with his own admission. He didn't usually hand Scarlett weapons to use against him. But Scarlett stunned him with her next words.

"I know. I know and I am very sorry. I promise, I did not do it to hurt you, I only meant—"

"What," Rhett cut it, "what was your intention?"

"I wanted to save myself for Ashley. He told me…" Rhett's entire body stiffened and he pushed Scarlett off of his chest.

"Listen!" Scarlett cried, fisting her hands in his shirt, "Just listen before you run out. I don't love Ashley. I don't. But at the time I thought I did. And he told me…he…," Scarlett closed her eyes and looked down.

Rhett stepped away and Scarlett's arms dropped without protest.

"What did he tell you?" Rhett growled.

"He told me he couldn't bear to think about you touching me and that you coarsened me. So, you see… that's why… why for all these years I thought he loved me and there was something sacred and pure in that honor kept us apart. I thought I was honoring that since he couldn't be with Melly and … I wanted you, but … you were so mean… and then he went and killed Melly anyway. I was such a fool. I know it. I do know it, Rhett."

Rhett's blood pounded in his ears and he could feel his own pulse throbbing in his fingers. Rhett wanted to storm out and kill Ashley Wilkes. That bastard told his wife to withhold herself from him. He would kill him. He would kill that conniving, spineless, lustful bastard.

"Rhett?" Scarlett moved to step towards him and stopped, frightened of his wild eyes and flushed face. In all of the years she had known Rhett, she'd never seen him like this. She had been afraid of his anger when he first came home in December and found she'd donated Bonnie's things, but this was worse. Rhett looked feral. Possessed.

Scarlett took a deep breath to master the impulse to step back away from Rhett and continued, "I cried myself to sleep that first night I missed you so, and I always left the door open. I hoped you'd see and come back. I didn't know how to ask. And I thought you wouldn't, that you'd laugh in my face and remind me you don't care."

"I would have come back."

"Perhaps, but how was I to know that? You told me that it didn't matter, that you didn't care and the world was full of other women for you to…and I believed you. Perhaps, that is where I have really failed," Scarlett's voice trailed into a whisper, "for all my faults and my foolishness, perhaps the worst of it is that I always believed your words."

Hearing Scarlett state that where she had gone wrong was trusting him broke something inside Rhett. He had always known she was simple minded in that way. He shouldn't have been surprised she'd taken his most dismissive and angry words at face value and discounted all of the ways he had loved her and protected her over the years. Rhett needed to get away. He needed to get away from this monstrosity of a house and from his wife. He needed to clear his head and contemplate this. Because his pounding heart knew she was right. She had been a fool, but he had been cruel. His mother was right that Rhett's cruelty and derision were a much worse sin than Scarlett's idiocy and flippancy. But Rhett also knew he wasn't yet ready to admit this to his wife. And he wasn't sure he could forgive himself or Scarlett enough to let himself love her freely.

Rhett trailed his eyes over his wife. Scarlett's spine was straight and her chin elevated. Her posture was all courage and strength and fire. The very things he had first loved about her. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes blazing. But she was also pale and Rhett could see the tracks from her earlier tears on her cheeks and the red rimming her eyes. A need to protect this woman, this woman who loved him, who knew him better than she thought she did, and who was willing to give him what he wanted just so he would stay with her and her children, rushed through him. Without thinking Rhett stepped forward and pulled Scarlett into his arms. She held herself stiffly as he breathed in the scent of her hair and began to run his hand up and down her back.

"All right, honey, all right," he whispered and kissed her temple. Scarlett sighed and drew her arms around him.

"Scarlett," he started. But Rhett didn't know how to tell her that he was starting to see the places he'd been wrong. And he did not like what he saw. He was angry with her and angry with himself and furious with Ashley Wilkes. Rhett was also surprised with Scarlett and himself. He hadn't stormed out and she hadn't thrown anything, but they'd argued and as much as he wanted to leave, he wanted to stay.

Scarlett turned her face into his chest and breathed in deeply. He, his presence was comforting her, even when she was angry and resentful. Rhett felt overwhelmed by how much she loved him even now, even after he'd cut her with words and held her away, even after Bonnie. He also knew he had to stay. If he didn't give himself, give them, this chance when she was so willing, he'd never forgive himself.

"Come, my love, let's go to bed." This was the most he could give her in this moment. He hoped she understood what he wasn't saying, though he doubted it.

Scarlett tilted her face up to look at him without leaving his embrace. Rhett could see the questions and worry in her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, "I think we've said everything there is to say tonight, unless you have something else, and it is late. Let's go to sleep and we can continue this discussion another time."

"Tomorrow?"

"If you so desire, but perhaps a later time would behoove us both."

"You mean after you leave again." It wasn't a question. Scarlett knew he would leave in the morning no matter what he promised.

"Scarlett," Rhett tried to keep his exasperation out of his voice.

"Rhett," she cut him off, "we both know you'll leave and I'll wake up tomorrow alone. So… so why pretend?"

Rhett clenched his jaw.

Scarlett kissed his chest under her chin and then leaned her head onto his shoulder, "I wish you would stay. I hate that you leave. But more I wish you wouldn't leave like a thief in the middle of the night."

"I'll be here when you wake, Scarlett."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Really promise? Really?"

Rhett smiled, "yes."

Rhett led them back to the bed and Scarlett took off her dressing gown, crawled into bed, and sat up, waiting. Rhett stripped to his drawers and then slid in next to her. Once he'd settled Scarlett laid next to him on her back, but he turned and pulled her onto his chest. She came willingly and Rhett breathed a sigh of relief when she drew her leg over his and wrapped her arm around him, tracing her fingers gently up and down his torso for a minute before settling against him with a sigh.

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_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Special thanks to: pmk kelly, MissTricey, Livisa, COCO B, romabeachgirl, Gabyhyatt, GWTWRSB, Aethelfraed, __Trukee Gal, EmmaElizaRose, bartingirl03 for your wonderful and insightful reviews! I cannot express how much I appreciate them and your PMs. _

_Also good news / bad news. The good: this chapter is several hours early, but the bad news is I have a major project due Monday and I can't edit & proof chapter 17 until it's done (or at least I'm not so far behind) so chapter 17 may be late. But it's written... and coming soon if not on time. _


	17. Parting, Tuesday, June 23, 1874

_Disclaimer: Well, I am certain wishing does not make it so... or they would be mine. _

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§§§ Tuesday, June 23, 1874

Scarlett was still asleep, breathing deeply on his chest, when Rhett awoke the next morning. Rhett lay with his sleeping wife on his chest for a while, savoring the peace and the closeness, and contemplating what he should do. As much as he'd thought he needed to stay last night, he knew he had to get away to clear his head. If he was ever going to make their marriage work, if he was ever going to be happy, Rhett needed to find peace within himself. He needed to accept the mistakes, his own and Scarlett's, and be willing to move on and risk himself with her. The moments he thought he could were becoming more and more frequent, but the intensity of his rage was not abating. That's what Rhett needed to address away from his wife. She stoked the fire. He needed to cool.

Once he'd decided on a course of action, Rhett woke his wife by taking her hand and placing it on his erect and throbbing manhood, marveling that sliding her hand into his drawers didn't wake her at all. Then he tweaked her nipple through her nightgown and whispered, "Scarlett."

She jerked and her hand clasped him tightly. Rhett groaned.

Scarlett looked up at him and whispered, "You stayed?"

"I promised."

Rhett watched as Scarlett bit back a reply. Then he smiled and rolled her onto her back. Rhett was slow and tender with Scarlett, taking the time to kiss her and tease her folds until she was trembling beneath him before entering her. He left his weight on her the way she liked and kissed her as he thrust into her. When he felt her shudder beneath him, he let himself go. It was a benediction and a goodbye.

When he lifted himself off of her to lay next to her he saw the tears on her cheeks.

Rhett reached over and wiped them away with his thumb.

Scarlett reached up and grabbed his wrist.

"You're leaving?"

"I have to. There are things I need to think about."

Scarlett turned onto her side and kissed him. She knew him well and had felt the goodbye in his touch this morning. Besides, she thought, I knew he'd leave, he always does, but this time he stayed until morning.

"Where…" her voice trailed off. Scarlett was afraid to ask where he was going because it would hurt if he refused to answer. Rhett noticed and was contemplating volunteering the information when she asked, "When will you come back?"

"I don't know."

"But you will? Come back?"

"Yes."

Scarlett reached up and caressed his face, "Rhett?" her voice was thick, "I am angry and I am hurt and even so, I do love you. I just want you to know that. We were both fools. But, I'm not so foolish anymore."

"Thank you, Scarlett. I know," Rhett wanted to reciprocate, but he found the words stuck in his throat, "I do know," he repeated.

Scarlett nodded and then turned and left the bed, bending to scoop her nightgown from the floor. She slipped it over herself and walked away. Rhett let himself feel bereft when she did.

Pork had Rhett's trunks packed within the hour and Rhett announced his departure at the breakfast table. Eleanor clenched her jaw, Scarlett looked down, Wade glowered. Beau looked bewildered. Only Ella voiced her dismay, "Oh, don't go, Uncle Rhett! Please, I want to go to the park today."

"I'll take you to the park when I return, darling," Rhett placated.

"When might that be, Uncle Rhett?" Wade asked with an edge to his voice Rhett did not like.

"I'm not sure, I've some business to attend to in New Orleans," Rhett answered while looking at Scarlett. He hoped Scarlett noticed he answered the question she didn't ask this morning. Scarlett gave a tiny nod and he smiled at her.

"Now, please excuse us. Your mother and I have a few things to discuss before I depart."

Rhett rose and extended his arm to Scarlett who rose and took it.

As they were leaving the dining room Rhett heard Wade ask, "But you'll stay, won't you, grandma?"

"Of course, dear…" the rest of his mother's answer was cut off as Rhett lead Scarlett into the office and closed the door behind them.

"Scarlett," Rhett began as he seated them side by side on the sofa. There was so much to say and yet, Rhett wasn't ready to be completely vulnerable with his wife. "Please take care of yourself while I am away," he didn't want to ask her to take care of the baby, he was still so angry and afraid about it. "Do what Doctor Meade says and don't work too hard. There is more than enough in the household account for you to keep redecorating. After the parlor, why don't you do with your office and whatever you want to do upstairs and we'll discuss the rest upon my return."

"When will you return?"

"I don't know. I need to think things over."

Scarlett's face fell and she looked at her lap. Rhett put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. He kissed her forehead and eyes and cheeks and the tip of her nose before whispering against her skin, "I'm not leaving you, my dear, I just need some time."

"So, you don't want a divorce?"

Rhett's heart sank. He wished she wouldn't be so direct at times. Scarlett was certainly right about one thing though, she was the courageous one in their marriage.

"Scarlett," he began and she turned away from him crying, "Oh! Oh you do! Oh my god, I…" and covered her face with one hand and her belly with the other.

"No, honey, no, I don't want a divorce," as he said them he realized just how much the words were true. He wanted to stay with her. He wasn't keeping their union just for her body, or to keep her from Ashley, he actually wanted to be with Scarlett the way he'd dreamed of years ago. Rhett pulled the hand she had cradled protectively over her belly to his lips.

"Don't go then," Scarlett whispered, "please."

"Honey," Rhett whispered against her skin. "I need to go find some peace so I can come back and be the husband and father you and the children deserve. I am coming back and things will be much happier after."

"Look at me, Scarlett," Rhett commanded when Scarlett didn't respond.

Scarlett squared her shoulders and turned to face him.

Rhett caressed her face and said softly, "You really are such a brave girl, my dear."

"I'm not a girl any longer."

"No," Rhett agreed, "you are not, you are a brave, beautiful, cunning woman. I know. And this is the other thing I want to tell you. Do you know how jewelry is made from broken and scrap pieces?"

"What?" Scarlett asked perplexed.

"Do you know how they can make a beautiful new piece of jewelry from the old?"

"No," Scarlett whispered shaking her head.

Instead of poking fun of her predictable ignorance, Rhett explained, "Jewelers take bits of scrap gold and broken jewelry and melt them down, all mixed together until they are liquid and then they pour the liquid into a new mold. The resulting piece, a ring for example, is beautiful, unblemished, and new. There are things I need to melt away, Scarlett, so that so that our past is a liquid and I can pour it into a new mold. I need our marriage to be a new piece of jewelry instead of the old broken ones. Do you understand?"

"But you said you didn't believe in blank slates and you aren't one to glue the pieces back together and pretend the mended is as good. Do you not believe that? Or is this different? I don't understand," Scarlett's voice faded into a whisper.

Rhett's heart swelled with love for Scarlett and he was relieved to feel it. His mother was right, Scarlett was like a wounded animal, afraid to show her vulnerability to him in case he lashed out at her. But even though she feared his response she did it over and over and over again. Nothing else could have shown Rhett how much she loved him than the way she would hand him her fragile self to protect or to crush over and over. Rhett knew that if he'd had a tenth of his wife's strength and courage their marriage would have been different from the beginning.

"This is different," he explained drawing her against his chest. "Instead of mending what was broken, I will look back over our lives and blend the bad with the good. I realize now there are things that I've done, and that you have done, that I must find peace with so that I can love you freely. The pieces will all still be there, but they won't be broken and sharp anymore, the will blend perfectly with the happy memories, the unbroken pieces, to be something new made from the old, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. The things I'm not at peace with are in the way, Scarlett. They are making me angry and afraid and neither of us deserves that. I can't go forward until I've made peace and melted all of the pieces together into a new whole. It won't be mended, Scarlett it will be new."

"And you know the things to blend?"

"Yes. And I suspect you do as well. While I'm away, darling, think of those things. We can finish our conversation of last night when I return."

Scarlett nodded against his chest and shifted so she could bring her arms around him. They sat in silence until Prissy knocked on the door and shouted, "Poke's ready to takes you, Capt'n Butler," through the door.

Rhett leaned down and kissed Scarlett tenderly.

"Rhett!" Scarlett drew back sharply, "Please, please tell me when you are coming back. I need… I need to be ready."

Rhett understood. "I don't know yet, my dear," he caressed her cheek, "but I promise I will telegraph you and give you at least a few days warning."

Scarlett nodded and leaned forward to kiss him. "Goodbye, Rhett," she whispered against his lips.

"Goodbye, love," he whispered back.

When Scarlett and Rhett stepped into the entry hall Wade, Ella, Beau, and Eleanor were waiting by the door.

Scarlett dropped Rhett's arm and he stepped forward to kiss his mother's cheek. Eleanor looked disappointed as she squeezed her son's arm and wished him safe travels. Well, Rhett thought, that can't be helped right now. He had no time to stay and explain to his mother. Besides, Scarlett likely would under his mother's interrogation and Rhett knew his mother would still be here, protecting Scarlett, when he returned.

Rhett turned from his mother and scooped Ella into his arms. She came willingly and threw her arms around his neck.

"I love you, Uncle Rhett," she whispered loudly into his ear, "please come home soon."

"I love you too, sweetheart," Rhett kissed her and set her gently back down.

"You won't miss my birthday again will you?" Ella asked in a small voice. Rhett ignored his mother's disapproving look and squatted in front of his stepdaughter.

"Oh, my little girl," Rhett said as he caressed her face and then took her hands in his. "I was very wrong to miss your birthday. I won't miss another. I promise. Can you forgive me?"

Ella threw her arms around his neck. "Promise?" she asked, "Really?" in a perfect echo of her mother. Rhett's heart sank. He had promised Scarlett and himself to love these children like his own. He had never thought Scarlett cared about that promise, but little by little he realized she did. More importantly, the children had. They counted on Rhett and loved Rhett and he had disappointed them.

"Ella, baby," Scarlett stepped forward and put her hand on Ella's back, "your birthday is months and months away. And Uncle Rhett promised, he'll be home by then. Don't fret."

Scarlett studiously avoided Rhett's eye as she said this. Ella's birthday was four months away. Rhett would be home before then, he had to be. If he stayed away that long, especially now with a baby coming, all of Atlanta would never believe anything other than he'd left her. Besides, Scarlett didn't think she could stand being apart from him that long.

"Now," Scarlett continued, "give your Uncle Rhett a kiss and let him go. You don't want him to miss his train do you?"

"Yes!" Ella giggled and Scarlett and Rhett laughed too.

"No, darling," Scarlett said smiling as she rose.

"I love you, sweetheart, be good for your mother," Rhett kissed her forehead.

"I love you too," Ella whispered then she turned and buried her face in her mother's skirts.

"Beau, young man, you be good too, and help Wade take care of your Aunt for me."

"I will, Uncle Rhett!" Beau smiled as Rhett hugged him.

Rhett stood, kissed Scarlett's cheek, and whispered, "Telegraph if you need anything."

"I will, travel safely," Scarlett squeezed his arm.

"Do you remember the name of the hotel?" Rhett asked pointedly. He'd taken Scarlett to his favorite New Orleans hotel on their honeymoon and he wanted to know if she remembered.

Scarlett nodded. Rhett then turned to Wade. Wade's jaw was set. Instead of hugging and kissing his stepfather goodbye, Wade stood ramrod straight and did not move.

"Wade—" Rhett began but the boy's temper cut across him.

"This is the long time you said you were staying for? You've been here less than a month and you are making my mother cry AGAIN!"

Anger flashed in Rhett's eyes, but Wade did not care. Uncle Rhett would not do this to his mother again. Not when his mother was in her condition and Uncle Rhett had promised to stay.

"Beau, Ella, come with me," Eleanor said stretching out her hands for the children to take.

"But…" said Beau looking between Wade and Scarlett.

"Go on darlings, go with your grandmother," Scarlett directed.

Eleanor led Beau and Ella to the back yard saying, "Are the marbles still outside?" in a falsely bright tone.

Once the sounds of their footsteps faded Rhett said, "Young man, you are out of line."

"No, I'm not!" Wade screamed, "You are going to make my mother cry and she's…she's…" Wade turned watery eyes on his mother.

"Going to have a baby?" Scarlett whispered softly wondering how Wade could possibly know.

"Yes!" Wade cried and turned on his stepfather, "And you did that to her! And you are just going to leave her!"

"STOP!" Rhett bellowed taking as step towards Wade. Wade stepped back, but so did Scarlett. The sight of her stepping away from him and covering her belly with both hands snapped something in Rhett. He had been so close to striking his stepson. Shame flooded Rhett. He was going to turn into his father.

Rhett stood and tried to master the impulse to lash out at the trembling boy in front of him. Wade's mouth slowly opened and closed but no sound came out as tears began to slowly roll down his cheeks.

Scarlett stepped up to Wade and drew him into her arms.

Rhett took a deep breath and then pulled them both into his arms. Scarlett snaked an arm around Rhett and he leaned to kiss her forehead before saying.

"Wade, son. I'm sorry. I know it's difficult to understand but there are things I have to go and deal with before I can be here the way I need to be."

Rhett crouched to look into the boy's eyes, "That I haven't been the father to you and your siblings that I should have is my greatest regret, but now, I need to leave so I can change that."

Wade flung his arms around Rhett and sobbed into his chest.

Scarlett stepped to the side. Keeping one arm firmly around Wade, Rhett reached out and took her hand, pulling her back. Scarlett put her arms around Rhett and Wade and Rhett slung his arm around her waist closing their three person embrace.

"Don't go," Wade whispered once his sobs had subsided.

"Would you like to come with me, Wade?" Rhett asked softly his heart pounding. He did not want Scarlett to think he was taking Wade the way he had taken Bonnie, but he thought Wade might better understand Rhett was not abandoning Scarlett if Wade came along. Besides, it was clear Rhett needed to redeem himself in the boy's eyes and perhaps some time alone together away from Atlanta and all of the pressures of family will help.

Wade didn't answer but looked up at Scarlett.

Scarlett cupped Wade's cheek and looked up into Rhett's eyes.

"I think it might be good for us to spend some time together man to man," Rhett said soothing his hand up and down Scarlett's back and searching her face.

Scarlett nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

"Go on, Wade," Scarlett said, still looking at Rhett, "go have Lou help you pack."

Wade stood without moving for a minute after Scarlett and Rhett had released him.

"I think you should go, darling. It's summer vacation, so you won't miss any school. And Rhett is right, you should spend some time together." Scarlett left silent her thought that if Wade was with him Rhett might come home sooner.

"But, Mother," Wade protested, "we can't leave you alone. Who will take care of you?"

Scarlett smiled, "I'm not alone. Mammy and your grandmother will take very good care of me. Now, go pack."

Wade nodded and turned to trudge slowly up the stairs.

"Bring your chess set, Wade," Rhett called to his retreating back.

"Prissy!" Rhett bellowed and she scurried into the hall. Wade stopped on the second stair and turned. "Go help Wade pack for a trip to New Orleans quickly. He needs all his best suits, pack night things and drawers and an extra suit and two shirts along with some books in a valise for him to have with on the train."

Prissy nodded and turned to scurry up the stairs without a word.

Wade moved to follow Prissy up the stairs but then paused looking back.

Rhett smiled, "I won't leave without you. Go pack."

Rhett pulled Scarlett into his arms and cradled her to his chest "Thank you. I think it will be good for him. I need to begin to repair my relationship with Wade and I believe if he is with me he will see that I'm not leaving you, that I just need to clear my head away from here."

"Come home soon, Rhett," was all Scarlett said as she breathed deeply of Rhett's warm comforting scent. They stood embracing in the hall waiting for Wade in silence. He loves me, I know he does, Scarlett thought. He's taking Wade with so Wade and I will both know he will come back. Besides, I can feel it. Scarlett sighed and soaked in the feeling of being cherished in Rhett's arms.

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Author's_ Notes: First thank you all so much for your patience! RL has been busy. Sadly, in completing my project I got behind on my other homework. So, while this chapter is early for my Wednesday/Saturday schedule, the next chapter may be late again... it just depends on how quickly I can get a ton of work done._

_Extra special thanks _to: pmk_ kelly, _Fancis_-rose, Sarah_,Shilo_, Sprout76, MissTricey, Jennybenny2845, EmmaElizaRose, _gabyhyatt_, Truckee Gal, GWTWRSB, Livisa, COCO B, Conlyn70, Batingirl03, Phantom710, and guests 1, 2, and 3. You guys have no idea how much your reviews always mean to me, but ESPECIALLY now when RL is sucky. Thank you!_


	18. Separation, Tuesday, June 23, 1874

_Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing you recognize belongs to me._

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Wade said nothing to Rhett the entire ride to the train station.

Because Rhett had not planned this trip in advance he had been unable to secure them a private car, so Rhett rented adjacent drawing rooms in one of the first class carriages. They had to share their sitting area with the others in the car, but it was certainly better than having only their rooms.

Wade had followed all of Rhett's instructions but still not said anything until they were hours from Atlanta and the sharp rays of the setting sun cast long shadows through their rattling car.

"Uncle Rhett?" Wade asked tentatively.

Rhett looked up from his paper. They were sitting in two large, overstuffed chairs facing each other across a low circular table. Rhett's coffee cup was half full but Wade's lemonade glass was empty. A porter had cleared their supper dishes not long ago and Rhett wondered if the boy, who had picked listlessly at his food, was hungry.

"Would you like something else, son?"

Wade's eyes darted to his glass. He thought about merely saying yes and ending the exchange, and he would like more lemonade, but more than a liquid to soothe his parched throat, Wade needed answers.

"No, sir. Well, yes, but that's not why…" Wade trailed off as Rhett signaled to the porter standing at the end of the sitting area.

"My son would enjoy more lemonade and I would like a brandy," Rhett ordered when the porter stepped up to their table. Wade waited to speak again until the porter had brought their drinks and walked away. As he waited Wade noticed that the other pairs of chairs that were occupied were all occupied by men. There were no women or children in their car.

"Aren't there any women on the train?" Wade asked as Rhett drew out a cigar and sniffed it before clipping the end.

"Certainly. But not in the first class carriages. Most men cannot afford to pay first class passage when travelling with their families. These men are likely traveling for business," Rhett answered gesturing lightly to the handful of other men in the seating area. "Now, Wade, what was it you were going to ask?"

Wade cleared his throat and then met his stepfather's eyes, "Why did you bring me along, sir?" he asked carefully.

"For two reasons, first to make sure your mother knows I will return. Second, I think it's time you and I addressed some things man to man."

"What things?"

"Not now. We'll discuss them in private in New Orleans."

Wade frowned but pulled out his book and resumed reading without another word. Rhett watched him through narrow eyes before raising his newspaper and continuing to stare at it unfocused.

Rhett needed to think. It had been a spontaneous urge to bring the boy along. Rhett knew his stated reasons were accurate, but something else tickled at the back of his mind. Perhaps he wanted a reminder of his wife, and the life he could have, with him as he thought over the past. Perhaps he did not trust himself to be alone with his thoughts and had brought his stepson as a chaperone. Rhett wasn't sure but now the boy was here and just as uncertain as Rhett about this sojourn. Well, they would both have to make the best of it.

§§§ – Wednesday, June 24, 1874

Scarlett woke Wednesday morning and burst into gut wrenching sobs. She had been able to go to the store and act as if nothing was wrong all day yesterday, but when Scarlett returned home in the late afternoon she'd claimed a headache and not come down for supper. Scarlett didn't think she could bear to face her mother in law right after Rhett had left yet again.

Scarlett curled into a ball on her side, sniffling softly. The Yankee's couldn't lick me, brandy couldn't lick me, and Rhett Butler won't either she thought, but then frowned. Rhett was coming home. Scarlett knew with every fiber of her being that Rhett would come back and he would come back to her the roguish blockader who had been her friend. God, she missed her friend so.

How could they have gone so wrong? Scarlett wondered listlessly.

The bedroom door creaked and Scarlett lifted her head.

"Darling?" Eleanor asked as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind herself, "How is your headache, dear?"

"Oh, much better, mother, thank you."

Eleanor frowned but said nothing. This woman was certainly the one for her son. How she could pretend when it was obvious she was crying was beyond Eleanor and something she'd seen in her son since his childhood. Eleanor walked over and sat on the bed at Scarlett's side.

"There, there, dear," Eleanor crooned as she smoothed her hand down Scarlett's back. "He loves you."

"I know."

"And he's going to come home to you."

"I know."

"But it still hurts, darling."

"Yes," Scarlett cried as she curled into Eleanor's side and wept.

§§§ - Saturday, June 27, 1874

Saturday morning Scarlett wandered into Rhett's room. Rhett's old room, she thought. The last few times he returned he'd gone directly to their room.

Scarlett wandered the room touching the surfaces and went into the dressing room an began opening all of the drawers and cabinets. When Eleanor found her a short time later Scarlett was standing in the dressing room and there was a pile of clothing on the bed.

"Darling!" Eleanor exclaimed as Scarlett came out of the dressing room with a handful of cravats and drawers, "I was so worried! Lou brought tea and came back and said you'd gone."

Eleanor stopped and took in the room as Scarlett dropped the clothing onto the pile and then turned to her mother in law. This had been her son's room. Eleanor knew that in the time she'd been in the Butler house her son had slept with his wife, but she also knew they'd had separate rooms for years.

"I want to do this room next," Scarlett's voice cut into Eleanor's thoughts.

"Yes," Eleanor agreed swiftly, "I think so, darling."

Scarlett moved to the corner and pulled the bell pull. All of Rhett's clothing and effects were going into her room and everything else was going to be taken out of the house as soon as possible. Scarlett lifted her chin. This was no longer Rhett's room.

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_Author's note: First, my sincerest apologies for my absence. I am completely overwhelmed with school and real life and finals and deadlines are fast approaching. Second, there is absolutely no chance I will abandon this story. I have 20 more pages already written, but there are places that require revision and editing and I just don't have the time these days. Part of the hangup is I have the chapters broken at what I consider to be strategic narrative points. Hence the long chapters. Going forward, I will update shorter sections as I can until the holidays when my life becomes my own again. _

_Special thanks to: gabyhayatt, EmmaEliza,Rose, Sarah,Shilo, Truckee Gal, COCO B, MissTricey, Livisa, pmk kelly, Conlyn70, Scarlett1974, gogomohamad229, ItAintFittin, and guest. Your thoughtful reviews brighten my life. I am sorry I haven't yet had the time to respond individually. _


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